CHAPTER ONE

ROSE

Positive.

That one simple word sending my world into a tailspin. It shouldn't be possible, yet here I sit on the edge of the bathtub with a plus symbol staring back at me. My head shook side to side, eyes remaining locked on the small window of the plastic stick. My fingers trembled to the point I could no longer hold onto it, letting it slip through my grasp to land before me. The window still face up.

It wasn't possible, it couldn't be. Every law in our world denied what was in front of me. Dhampirs can't reproduce together. Apparently they can, the nagging voice echoed in the back of my mind. I had given myself to one man, one time. And he is now halfway around the world.

I slid onto the floor, the edge of the tub rubbing roughly against my spine. Drawing my knees to my chest, I buried my nose between them, wrapping my arms tightly around my shins, begging the movement to keep me from falling apart.

Dimitri left for Russia a month ago- the longest month of my life- after Alberta, Mom, and Stan found out that we were more than mentor and student. I tried to play it off, no such luck, that I had to save my partner, I couldn't watch my mentor die. But it was written all over my face, his too. I couldn't let the man I love perish at the hands of our enemy. He was my reason to breathe, to live another day fighting the darkness. He is the bright star in my black sky. My everything.

The father of the child growing inside of me.

"Little Dhampir," Adrian's soft voice carried through the closed door. "Are you...okay?"

"No," I rasped out, wiping my nose with the back of my hand.

"Can I come in?"

I didn't answer, unable to get my voice to work as more tears scratched at my throat. Without a response, Adrian opened the door just a crack, enough to see my folded form on the bathroom floor.

I had my suspicions that something wasn't right when my cycle didn't come, but I refused to acknowledge the possibility. Adrian convinced me that I needed to humor myself. Neither of us had predicted that the joke most certainly would be on me.

Adrian placed himself on the ground, pulling me into his lap. My head fell to his shoulder, resting in the crook of his neck. Slim, tender fingers ran through my hair, calming my erratic breathing. Neither of us spoke, other than the occasional deep hums rumbling in his throat. I didn't mind the silence, in fact, I welcomed it. It was a beautiful contrast to the screams that flowed through my mind.

How could this happen? I should have been more careful, we both should have. But we didn't know. If we had any idea that something like this was possible, we would have held back. I would have stopped him that night in the cabin. And if I couldn't bring myself to, he would have. One thing I love and hate about him so much, his self-control. His desire to always do what is right, no matter how badly he wanted to do what was 'wrong' just once.

After the caves, I could see the battle he fought within himself to leave. Alberta, being the wonderful person she is, gave him an option. Leave or Jail. Though they had no proof of what happened between us, well not until now, she gave him a choice to leave as opposed to reporting him to the council.

I told him to go. Reassuring him that this wasn't the end, but simply a chance for him to go and see his family before our lives changed. He accepted, packing his bags and flying out the next morning. On paper, he was taking a leave of absence until graduation. At which time, he would return and retake his place as Lissa's Guardian.

We have remained in constant contact since his departure, until today. I ignored his daily phone call meer hours ago, unable to talk to him when I was holding so much back. His multiple text messages that followed almost broke my resolve to wait to call him back. All of the I love and miss you's, are you okay's, and my favorite, I can't stop thinking about you. It was a small reprieve in my day to day to know I was always on his mind, much like he is on mine.

"Are you going to tell him?" Adrian broke through the silence.

"I don't know how," my voice was a low hoarse whisper. My throat felt like sandpaper, my nose stuffed up from all the crying.

Adrian, of course, knew without asking who the other person in the equation was. But no one else would, other than Alberta, Mom and more than likely Stan. I rolled my eyes at that. Go figure the one person I loathe almost as much as Victor would be in on my secrets. Though I doubt any of them would believe Dimitri really is the father. More than likely they will think I fucked up, like everything else in my life, and got knocked up by a Royal prick. Adrian will be the prime suspect.

"Any way you can, Little Dhampir," he brushed his lips against my forehead, "And I will be right here for you."

Tilting my head back, I looked into his eyes to see the sincerity in his words. The deep emerald green pools shined with unshed tears. I could almost feel his heart breaking under my palm that rested just above the fleshy muscle. I knew Adrian harnessed deep feelings for me, though I don't know why exactly. But with the bombshell of my current situation would do nothing but confirm he would never have a chance at winning my heart. Yet, he is willing to stand by me, knowing the backlash I will receive and the rumors that would stem about him and I. He would be my rock, my friend, and savior. Just as he has done since Dimitri left.

The first few days after he boarded the plane out of the Academy, I wouldn't leave my room. My heart was beyond repair without him here. I stopped training, eating, going to classes when they restarted after the attack, everything. I didn't want to face the day knowing I wouldn't see him. He wouldn't be waiting for me in the gym, western novel perched on his knee. He wouldn't be standing at the back of my classes, watching everything around him with that cautious eye. Sneaking glances my way when he thought I wasn't looking. News flash, I was always looking at him.

Adrian pulled me out of that slump though. Forcing me to go with him for breakfast, then Lissa would pull me through the halls. He convinced Eddie to train with me in the morning and evenings, filling the void that not working out left me with. And between him and Christian, there was enough witty banter to jump in on and make me smile when I felt like crying. Which has been occurring a lot more lately, I can now blame the hormones for that.

I never saw Adrian becoming such an important person in my life. Who knew that our meeting on the snow-covered porch of a ski resort in Idaho would lead us to this moment here.

"Thank you," I whispered, placing a light kiss on the underside of his jaw.

"Anytime, Rose, I love you."

"I love you too, Adrian," and I meant it. I may not love him the way I do Dimitri, but I loved him nonetheless. He has slowly, painstakingly, wedged his way into my life and I could not be more thankful for Adrian Ivashkov than I am right now.

"Why don't you wash your face, and then we can go meet Lissa for dinner," his soft hand rubbed my arm gently, coaxing me from his lap.

I stood and did as he directed, picking up the test and shoving it in my pocket to take back to my room. Adrian walked beside me back to my dorm, letting me change first before dinner. Lissa began calling me through the bond as we walked into the commons. Catching my eye, her smile beamed bright only meaning one thing. Shopping.

With a wave, I made my way through the line with Adrian. Piling my plate high with meatloaf, mashed potatoes and a brownie for dessert.

"You need veggies too," Adrian whispered, adding a scoop of green beans to my tray.

"Now you sound like him," I chuckled. Dimitri always tried to get me to eat better, fruits and veggies with every meal.

"He's right."

"How did those words taste," I tried to raise my brow.

"Like vinegar, now go," he pushed softly on my lower back.

We were still laughing as we sat down. Lissa and Christian across from me, Eddie to my right, while Adrian took his place on my left. It almost felt normal, sitting here with my friends and relaxing. Won't last long, the nagging voice came back to remind me. In a few months, I would have a new normal.

I picked at my food, suddenly not feeling hungry anymore, while Lissa went on and on about a shopping trip she had arranged for us next week. Graduation was only a little over a month away and we needed new dresses for the dance. I had no desire to go, but I knew she wouldn't let me out of it that easily.

"Guardians Matthews and Emil will be taking us, I think Alto may be going too," Lissa directed to me. I gave a small nod, not wanting to let on how my heart ached at that thought. I liked Celeste and Emil, don't get me wrong, but their not him. Add on that Alto would be on the trip. I really want to stay back now. "We can get you a red dress this time, you know you always look good in red…" she trailed on and I tuned her out.

I felt like a love sick school girl, hell I am. Everything around here reminds me of him, makes me think of him. A part of me felt like he was gone forever, not just for another month. I guess in my mind, I was preparing for him to be. Would he believe me when I told him the truth? Would he know that I didn't cheat? Or would he, like everyone else, believe I messed up?

"You need to eat," Adrian leaned over to whisper in my ear.

"Not hungry," I pushed my tray forward.

"What?" Christian gasped, "Rosie isn't hungry," he leaned back in his chair, looking at the ground.

"What are you doing?" Eddie arched his brow.

"Checking to see if hell froze over."

"Fuck off, Fire-crotch."

"Rose," Lissa's soft voice broke through the guys' laughter, "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I am fine, just not hungry right now."

"Rose," Adrian lifted my chin to meet his gaze. His intense eyes holding mine, "You need to eat." Pulling my tray, he put it back in front of me. I picked up my fork and made my way through dinner.

Lissa watched out the exchange with a curious expression, Christian and Eddie too. He hadn't compelled me to finish my food, but right now he is the only person who could get me to do something I didn't want to. Because he wasn't thinking of himself, or even just me. He was thinking about my body needing nutrients to feed the baby.

New normal, the voice sounded again. Yeah, new normal.