CHAPTER THREE

ROSE

Ever have those moments where something you heard minutes, hours, days before finally clicks. That's where I am right now. Stan's words two days ago finally sinking in.

After he came to me, he found a human doctor in Missoula that had an opening this week. Without a valid excuse to leave campus other than the truth, I had to tell Alberta. To say she is taking the news well would be a horrendous understatement.

"Are you fucking kidding me," her voice vibrated off the walls. I was surprised the pictures didn't fall from the echo.

"Bertie," Stan bellowed.

"Don't Bertie me, Alto."

"I'm sorry," I whimpered.

"I bet you are," she sneered. No longer behind her desk, she paced the room. Rugged hands raked through her short hair, pulling on the ends, "God- what will your mother say, or your father for that matter. Oh- he is going to kill me." She kept her voice low, but I could still hear.

"What did you just say about my father?"

"Huh," she stopped mid-stride, "Oh, nothing, nothing at all." Her head shook, "Rose, how could you let this happen?"

"You haven't heard the full story yet, Alberta, maybe you should let her tell it," Stan came to my rescue. I shot him an appreciative smile before turning to tell my tale.

"It's not possible," Alberta mumbled as I wrapped up.

"Rose Hathaway," I raised my hand, "President and CEO of the 'It's impossible' club, we meet on Wednesdays, care to join?"

"This isn't a joke, Rose," the grey in her eyes smoldered, anger flaring with each passing moment.

"I know it's not, but there is no point in denying what is happening, I might as well embrace it."

Not that I would let on to her, or Alto, anyone really, but I have spent every night denying the reality that is my life. Since I was a child the world seems to have conspired against me. The day my mother dropped me off on the Academy steps, my whole life became a shit show. Only growing worse as I grew older. I died at the age of fifteen and was brought back to life by a magic that is still a mystery. Went on the run to the human world with only my best friend. Then coming back here and dealing with a fucked up love life, the death of my oldest friend and a mass attack that almost took everything away from me. My life has never been easy, why would it start now?

I didn't want to be a teenage mother, hell, I never thought I would be a mother ever. But things have a funny way of going in ways we never expected. Life is like that, just when you think you have everything figured out, it changes.

I prepared my whole life to become a Guardian. To protect my charge at all cost, including my heartbeat. Training day in and day out to ensure I had what it takes to keep others safe, no mind myself. They Come First. That was all that mattered, all I knew.

I didn't know what love was, from a partner or a parent. How in one look, one simple exchange, my heart could skip a beat. That the proximity of someone could cause butterflies in your stomach. Or that being without the said person, your world could cave in around you, suffocate you, destroy you.

Now that I do, I crave it. I want the kind of life you see on the Hallmark channel. I want to be the girl that the guy fights heaven and earth to be with. I want my child to know the things I didn't.

"I made her an appointment in Missoula, she needs a human doctor," Alto spoke toward Alberta, drawing me away from my thoughts.

"No, she can see Olendzki, we just won't tell her the truth," Alberta protested. "I want you here, not with some stranger."

"Okay, but at some point, I will have to declare who the father is."

"Not if you don't want to," she cocked her head to the side, "Or, you can lie."

I shook my head rapidly, "I won't do that to Dimitri. Besides, people aren't going to believe that he is the father anyway, so him being on the birth certificate would be looked at as a 'formality' rather than a declaration of parentage."

"You have thought it through," she rose a brow.

"Adrian did."

"Ah," she nodded, "Young Lord Ivashkov is quite smitten with you," she chuckled, "Honestly, I thought it was his."

"And so will everyone else," I mumbled.

"That might not be a bad thing," Alto joined in. "It would keep the Alchemist out of the loop."

And cue the clicking.

Finding out about the group of humans that work in the underground of our society spun me for a loop. Being told that they would love nothing more than to poke and prod my child, made me sick.

Religious nuts who thrive on science and statistics, as Alberta phrased it, and handle the dirty work of our world. They document everything on every living, and deceased, Moroi and Dhampir, even Strigoi if they can. Their database spans centuries back, and nothing like this has ever happened. At least not that they or we are aware of.

Adrian had assumed it had something to do with Spirit, the whole being brought back from the shadows of death thing. But nothing turned up. No stories or testimonies about a Dhampir/Dhampir conception in history. If the Moroi didn't have it, surely the Alchemist wouldn't.

Alberta and Stan went on to explain their direct roles in our society, and why we aren't told about them before graduation. The more they spoke, the quicker my dislike for these people grew. Only pushing me harder to conceal the identity of my child. I wouldn't let it be subject to experimentation. Never going to happen.

A knock on the door halted our conversation, Stan rising from his seat to answer. "Lady Ozera," he greeted, opening the door wider for her to enter.

"Oh, I am sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt," her painted on smile fake as all get out.

"You're not, I was just on my way out," I stood, moving closer to Alberta I whispered, "I'm going to go get Adrian and see Dr. O. but I do have more questions for you."

I wasn't letting the slip of my father being mentioned go, not yet. She knew something, I could read it like a paper from her face. With a small nod, I walked out, brushing past Tasha without a glance.

"How can I help you, Lady Ozera," Alberta asked. Tasha's response coming just before the door closed.

"I was wondering where Guardian Belikov is, I can't seem to find him."

I pushed my ear to the door, trying to hear what would come next. The sounds were muffled by the thick oak, but I vaguely heard Alberta say he was gone on leave. A small smile graced my lips. She just doesn't know when to give it up, but I, for once, am thankful he is currently halfway around the world.

My leg bounced in anticipation. I would get to hear my baby's heartbeat. Or at least according to Adrian, I should be able too. The thought excited and terrified me. I was scared that something would be wrong, or will go wrong. With no information to look back on in history, everything was a gamble.

A young Dhampir nurse called my name and I proceeded toward the room. "Are you not coming?"

"Didn't know if you wanted me too." I gestured for him to follow. "This isn't awkward for you?"

"Not really, you?" I shrugged.

"A little, but if you want me there, I will be."

I looked up to him, giving him a reassuring smile. If Dimitri couldn't be here, Adrian was the next best thing. Besides, like I told Alberta, everyone will assume the baby is his, he might as well get to play the part. Plus it was easier to use that as an excuse than tell the truth. I was nervous.

Before today, I could put it in the back of my mind, not think much about it. But if Adrian was right, and I heard the heartbeat today, there would be no more denying. I couldn't pretend this isn't real any longer. And I would need someone in my corner when my back pressed against the wall. When the reality set in and escape is no longer possible.

"Lord Ivashkov, Rose, how are you both today," Dr. Olendzki smiled brightly.

"Good," we answered at the same time.

"Good," she chuckled, "First things first Rose, I need you to give me urine sample so I can run my own test."

"Why?"

"Just for records."

I took the cup from her and walked down to the bathroom. Once it was filled, I headed back to wait out the results. Half an hour later, Dr. O returned with a computer on wheels. Handing me a towel to tuck into my waistband, and rolling my shirt up to my breast, she squeezed a cool gel over my skin. Adrian stood diligently at my side, holding my hand as he watched the screen.

Moving the paddle over my abdomen, she made several clicks on the keyboard, humming to herself all the while. My nerves began to hyke up. Adrian's poor hand feeling my tension. After what felt like years, Dr. O clicked something on the screen and a soft sound filtered through the room.

Swoosh, Swoosh, Swoosh

"That's the heartbeat, Rose. Your measuring right at nine weeks, Congratulations."

She continued to speak, pointing to a tiny speck on the right of the screen. I couldn't make out her words over the sound filling my ears. It had to be the most beautiful song I have ever heard. Adrian reached up to wipe a tear from my face, holding my eyes when I looked back up to him. I could see the shimmer in his emerald depths. Who knew this would be so emotional?

Tears began to fall faster, my throat tightening from the sobs I desperately tried to keep down. Adrian leaned forward, brushing a kiss to my forehead, "I'm sorry, Rose."

I didn't have to ask what he was sorry about, I knew. Just like he knew why I was about to become a blubbering mess on the table. I wanted Dimitri here. He should be the one next to me, holding my hand. Hearing our baby's heartbeat for the first time.

Dr. Olendzki printed out a picture with an arrow pointing to the little speck marked 'baby' for me to take. Once I was cleaned up, picture in hand, Adrian and I made our way out.

Still early in the Moroi day, I hadn't expected to run into anyone on our walk back. Let alone the same person twice in the last few hours. But as fate, or luck, would have it Tasha was walking toward the school's clinic as we walked away. And even worse, she caught sight of the picture still in my hand. Hasty, I shoved it in my pocket, hoping she didn't see exactly what it was.

"Rose," her brow lifted to her hairline.

"Hey, Tasha."

"Was that?" she looked between Adrian and I, "Are you?"

The softball forming in my throat kept me from responding. Not that I really wanted to say anything to her, to begin with, but I couldn't if I tried. Her gaze continued to flow between the two of us, jumping to her own conclusions.

"Well, Congrats if it was," she smiled, again fake, "I guess what they say is true, these things come in twos," her laugh died in my ears.

"What do you mean?" Adrian asked before I could get the words out.

"I'm expecting too, twenty-three weeks now."

"Congratulations," Adrian offered a weak smile.

I couldn't move. If she was twenty-three weeks then that must mean... As if knowing my train of thought, she offered another smile. This one, however, was one hundred percent real. Her hands falling over the perfectly round bump.

"Thank you, I just know Dimka is going to be so happy when I tell him."