CHAPTER FOUR

ADRIAN

When tough little boys grow up to be dad's, they turn into big babies again. I heard that song once upon a time, never understood it, until today.

Watching the screen, hearing the sound of Rose's baby's heartbeat, I wanted nothing more than to be him. My eyes grew wet with a simple sound, how would I react to their first steps? The first day of school? First date? Yeah, I would be a big baby. No doubt about it. But it wasn't my child. I wasn't the father of the unborn miracle growing in the woman I love.

Since the moment she found out, my heart hasn't beat right. The normal thump, thump cadence was gone, replaced with erratic beats and skips that felt as if it would stop any moment. I knew that moment would be the day she gave birth. When I looked into the eyes of the infant and they were brown, not green.

My mind plays tricks on me while unguarded at night, no matter the amount whiskey I threw back to shut it off. I would dream of a life with her. She would be my Guardian, my wife if I had any say in it. The perfect fit. She would never have to choose between me or the baby because I would put my life before the both of them. I would die to keep her safe, both of them. If she wanted a different life, one away from the Moroi world, I would take her there. Travel the globe, making as many stops for as long as she wants. Anything she wants, I would give it to her.

Even if she wants him. I would step aside and watch her happily. But if I didn't have too, I wouldn't mind that. With that said, call me a selfish bastard. An asshole. Or any other name in the book for feeling what I am right now. Hopeful as fuck.

Tasha may have been lying, in fact, I am ninety-nine percent sure she is. It's that one percent that has me feeling slightly on top of the world. If there is a possibility that Belikov really is a father of two, I can almost guarantee Rose will never tell him the truth. And I only feel slightly guilty for hoping she is.

I watched Tasha as Rose ran toward the dorms like a pack of phi-hounds were after her. Her aura didn't flicker, show any signs of deceit. But I have come to learn that if someone believes something strongly enough, it won't show that they are outright lying. Tasha has really convinced herself that Belikov is the father, so to her, it is the truth. To Rose, it is instant heartbreak. And I would make damn sure I am the one to put her back together.

With another half-hearted congratulation to Tasha, I took off after Rose. I didn't find her in her room, nor on the roof that she likes to hide away on. Not at Mason's grave, or even the Chapel. Where the hell did she go? I continued to walk around in circles, the sun now fully sunk behind the horizon making the journey much harder. Two-seconds from giving up, I heard her yells. Following the bellows of anger, I saw the door to an old Guardian post open.

"Little…" I stopped dead in my tracks.

Rose has always carried a ring of shadows around her, the madness she takes from Lissa. But this was something I had never seen before. If it weren't for the fact she was breathing, standing before me, I would have looked at her believing she was dead. There was no light, no color around her, only darkness.

"Rose," I spoke lowly, hands outstretched to show her I meant no harm. She didn't look at me though, she didn't even budge. "Little Dhampir," still nothing. She clutched a phone in her hand, a faint voice filtering through the speaker.

Him.

As tentatively as possible, I stepped closer, reaching for the phone. Rose let it slip through her fingers, still staring off at nothing. I looked at the screen, Comrade, it read.

"Belikov?"

"Adrian? What the hell is going on?" he rushed out.

"What did she say?"

"Quite a few colorful words, but nothing to explain why she is so upset with me. What did I do?"

"You tell me? You know of any reason Tasha would be looking for you?" I baited.

"She has been calling me every day for the last few months, but I haven't spoken with her. What does she have to do with anything?"

"A lot," my hand gripped the back of my neck, turning to Rose she nodded, silently telling me to disclose the information. "Don't take this the wrong way, and I am not asking for my own benefit," letting out a sigh I asked the question I never wanted to hear the answer to, "Did you sleep with Tasha?"

Silence met me on the other end of the line, too long of a silence if you ask me. "Belikov?"

"I'm here," he cleared his throat, "I, uh, why do you want to know?"

"Humor me, Dimitri, did you or did you not?"

"Yes, but it was many years ago, long before I met Rose."

"And you swear you haven't been with her more recently, say around Christmas?"

"Unlike you, Ivashkov, I remember the woman I have been in bed with."

"I would watch it, Belikov, you don't know the fire you're stoking right now."

"Then tell me!" his voice bellowed through the phone, making me move it away from my ear.

"Maybe the next time she calls, you should answer." I hung up on him.

Part of me was relieved to hear he hadn't been messing around while Rose was pining after him. Another part wished he had said yes. I wanted to prove to her that he wasn't the saint he appeared to be. Beneath that warlord exterior was a man with secrets and dirty laundry. Unfortunately, he seemed to still be his almighty self.

"Rose." I put my hands on her shoulder, rubbing gently.

"Was she lying?"

"I couldn't tell," I shook my head, "but he said he hasn't been with her in years, so it's a safe bet."

"What am I going to do, Adrian?" her voice was raspy, tears beginning to fall.

"I got you, Little Dhampir, I will help you," I cupped her face in my hands, placing a soft kiss to her forehead before pulling her to my body. "I'll always be here," I whispered into her hair.

Every time we touched I felt alive. Not that I was completely dead inside, to begin with, but with her, everything felt more...real. The sun shone brighter, the air felt warmer, flowers smell stronger. She brought a whole new level to my life. One I never dreamed of reaching, let alone living.

My arrogant prick of a father always made sure to remind me of how much of a disappoint I am to the family name. I have been constantly told I am not good enough, I won't amount to anything with my life. And, of course, my submissive as hell mother sat back and watched the display. Never once did she try to reassure me that I could become something in this world.

With Rose, I felt like I could become whoever I wanted. For her, I would become whoever she needed me to be. A brother, friend, lover, or the father to her child. No matter what she asked, I would do. Because I love her.

She sees me as more than I am. Past the womanizing personality, the alcohol and smokes to see the broken soul underneath. With every look, every touch, piece by piece she is meshing my soul back together, closing the old wounds of lives past. Rose Hathaway is my saving grace, an angel in the pure form sent from heaven to heal me.

But somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew, she would also be the demon to destroy me.

And honestly, I was okay with that.