CHAPTER TEN

DIMITRI

When Karo had Paul, I thought no moment could be better than that. Holding this tiny little boy in my arms was the highlight of my life. Even as a young boy, I knew I wouldn't have the chance to be a father, so I accepted the title Uncle with a smile. He was so precious, delicate. I hated not being able to be around much. I was only fourteen when he was born, a freshman at St. Basil's. The first few years of his life I saw him during the holidays. When I graduated, I saw him once a year. After Ivan passed, I stopped visiting. I failed him as his Uncle, the male influence in his life.

And now I will fail my child too.

Walking through the Academy gate was the hardest step I have ever taken. I paused a dozen times, contemplating going back and facing the trials of our lives. But I just couldn't see a positive outcome. That's not to say I expected it to be easy, or anything, but I just couldn't picture a happy life when it's wrapped in lies.

If I am anything, I am an honest man. Sure, I have told my fair share of white lies, who hasn't. Telling Roza that I didn't feel that way toward her after the lust charm, was to protect her. Telling Tasha I didn't want to give up my spot as Guardian to the Dragomir heir, was to preserve our friendship. But I am unable to fathom a life that is a giant one.

Pretending every day that my child isn't mine. I just couldn't. So, I step on. One foot in front of the other. Leaving everything I love behind the wards. Tucked safely away with her family, even though she doesn't know all about that yet, and friends. They would be there for her, even if I can't be. Lissa would spoil that baby rotten, and Christian would be the protective Uncle. Along with Eddie, my baby would be safe. Happy.

And though I gag at the thought, Adrian will take care of Rose. He loves her, he will be good to her. Knowing that makes this journey slightly easier. Rose will probably hate me, lord knows I hate myself, but hopefully she would learn to be happy too.

Tilting my head back, I took in the night sky, my feet steady carrying me. Out here in the middle of nowhere, you could always see the stars better than in the city. It was a peaceful reminder that you need darkness to see brighter things in life. That sometimes, the best things occur when the light is absent. Like in the cabin.

Rose had been surrounded by so many shadows from Lissa she almost lost herself. But it was in that time, that dark hour, that I realized just how much I love her. And I told her so. Her will to fight the black abyss that threatened to claim her mind. Even her fear of losing herself to it, everything about her struck me square in the chest. It's why I let my guard down. To show her that she didn't have to be alone in the dark, that I would be right next to her, helping her find her light.

Who knew our light would be the child she now carries from that fateful night. I never expected something like this, but when she looked me dead in the eye and told me. I freaked out. One, I immediately thought she had been with someone else, but her following words, and my undying faith in her squashed that theory. Then, I couldn't breathe. I couldn't grasp the thought of achieving a dream I never thought possible.

Only for it all to go to hell in a handbasket. I can understand where Rose and Abe are coming from. Something of this magnitude would certainly stir up the ways of our world. But Abe is one of the most influential people in our society, right next to Queen Tatiana herself. There has to be some way he could have protected Rose and I. But that wasn't even an option, a card in the deck. No. They want to lie, hide the truth from everyone and live in ignorant bliss.

Well, I can't. I can't stand by and let another man, my cousin apparently, take my place. If they wouldn't let me be a father in all senses of the word, I wouldn't be one at all.

Rounding the curve uphill, my chin tucked to my chest. Tears threatened to spill from my eyes, but I blinked them back. You made your choice. Keep walking, Belikov. Clearing my throat, I lifted my head back up, determined to keep myself going. And not a moment too soon, either.

The smell of decay assaulted my nose. I looked, without moving, around for the source. I knew the older a Strigoi was, the worse they smelt. By the scent coming from this one, it had to be old.

She stepped out in front of me, two men flanking her sides. "Damn," she muttered.

I don't know exactly what she was referring too, be it my size or my race, but her lip twisted into a scowl as her eyes raked over my frame. I drew my stake from the sheath in my duster, gripping it tightly. Her goonies circled around me, while she dropped into a defensive stance. Former Guardian. Should have known. And a damn good one. But not good enough.

Our fight lasted several minutes, but she went down easily with a failed ariel kick. I had trained Rose to use that same move, so I knew exactly how to counter it. Smaller fighters, women, in particular, could always use their flexibility to their advantage. But when you spend every day for months training with someone like her. Well, needless to say, it has its advantages.

Withdrawing my stake, I turned to face the others. I was focused, poised and ready to send them back to the hell they came from. Until I saw Rose standing twenty feet away. I had hoped that she wouldn't be able to get out of the gates, or I would be long gone by the time she talked her way through. But she was here, unarmed no doubt, and I couldn't let them get to her. I wouldn't let them hurt her.

My momentary lapse of focus allowed the two Strigoi to get me on the ground. Tackling me like a set of linebackers straight into the packed dirt. I barely caught a flash of brown, taking one of them with it. With a right hook, I knocked the remaining one off of me, scrambling back to my feet. He was Moroi, and young, making him an easy kill.

Swinging toward my head, I lowered my body, kicking my leg out to connect with his hip. As soon as he stumbled to the ground, I was on top of him, driving my stake into his cold undead heart. Before I pulled it back out, I heard a sickening laugh, followed by a yelp from Roza.

Her opponent sent a kick straight to her stomach, launching her backward onto the road. "ROZA!"

I didn't think, just reacted. With brute force, I took him to the ground, staking him in the same movement.

I begged her to open her eyes, but she wouldn't. Or couldn't. Neither boded well for her right now. I could feel the sticky liquid on the back of her head. I needed her to stay awake until I could get her checked out. Thankfully, Alberta showed up making the trip back that much faster.

When she asked where I was going, I had no answer. But I felt I had to give her something when she asked about my decision to leave. I really couldn't see any other way to make everything work. For all of us to have a happily ever after. Well, at least her, I knew I would never get one no matter which way it went. But if she could, it would be worth it.

"Comrade, call Lissa," Roza mumbled, her head falling back onto my shoulder.

"Rose?" I shook her in my arms, "Roza!"

"What's happening?" Alberta looked back at my raised voice.

"Drive faster, and get the Princess to the clinic," I barked. "Hang on, Roza, please baby, hang on."

Alberta brought the SUV to a squealing halt in front of the clinic doors. Alto, who had been up front, opened my door. I ran as quickly as I could, trying not to move her too much, inside and laid her on the gurney Dr. Olendzki had waiting. Several nurses rushed to her side and took her off to one of the rooms. Lissa came running through the door less than a minute later. Without being told, she went in search of Rose.

"Come and sit down, Belikov," Alto placed a hand on my shoulder, steering me to the waiting area. "Now, what happened?" I gave him a brief rundown of the details. Alberta who had been listening stepped away to speak with one of the nurses.

"Is she going to be okay?" I looked up to Petrov.

"We shall see, she has suffered worse injuries, but it's the baby I'm worried about."

"Me too," I nodded, "me too." Placing my face in my hands, I let the tears I willed away earlier fall.

I have cried a handful of times in my life. When I was a young boy and saw what Randall had done to my Mama. Wishing I was bigger and could help her. The day we laid Ivan to rest, knowing I would never see my best friend again. And when Rose had been found in Spokane. I can't begin to explain the emotions that ran through me that day. I had always been alone when I let my sorrow take over. But I couldn't hold back now.

I may have been willing to walk away from the love of my life and child to give them prospects at a better life, but I would never do anything to put them in danger. Seeing Rose on the road, I knew I had to protect her. But she saved me. She threw herself into the fray without thinking. And both of our actions very well may cost us a miracle. Who knows if this was a one-off thing. If she loses the baby, and can not conceive again, it will kill her. And me.

"Why were you outside of the wards?" Abe asked. I hadn't heard him come in, his voice was not a welcoming sound.

"She followed me," clearing my throat, I met his eyes, "I...I was heading back home."

"Why?" the question coming from Alberta.

"So she could have a good life," releasing a heavy sigh, I explained my reasoning.

Not that any of them would really understand my mindset. I did my best to explain to everyone exactly what I thought of the whole situation. How I pictured her life playing out without me in it.

"You're a fucking idiot, you know that," Adrian yelled. I stood, ready to deck the royal prick, "You have the whole fucking world in your hands, and you were going to throw it away!"

"I did what I thought was best," I growled. "You wouldn't know anything about that, Ivashkov."

"Really?" he laughed, "God you are so dense!"

"Пошел ты, Адриан," I spit.

"иди в ад, димитрий," he threw back.

"Cut it out," Abe bellowed. Both Adrian and I winced at his booming voice, "You two are worse than children. My daughter is possibly dying and you" he waved his finger between us, "want to measure who's dick is bigger. Both of you shut the hell up or leave."

Adrian sulked off to the far corner, while I slumped down against the wall. My knees pushed into my chest, arms wrapping around my legs to hold what little composure I had left. How did so much go wrong so fast? I thought I was doing the right thing, she has to see that, right? Rose will know I only had her best interest at heart. Without me around, she wouldn't have to fake her life every day. She could have everything she ever wanted, with him. I would fade away in time, she would forget about me. Even if I won't forget her.

Minutes or hours could have passed, time meant nothing at the moment. Finally, Lissa came back out to the waiting area, her face paler than normal. I jumped to my feet, moving toward her, "How is she?"

"She is going to be fine, the…" she swallowed deeply, "the baby will be fine."

Relief washed over my body, my shoulders loosened and my heart started to beat again. "Thank you, Princess," I squeezed her shoulder and headed toward Roza.

"Guardian Belikov," Lissa called, I paused to look at her. "She doesn't want to see you, she wants Adrian."