Sorry for the delay in updates, It's been a looonngg few days. Hopefully, we will be back to daily updates now. I leave in NINE days for my Cruise, and I hope to have this done before then. Much love to you all and thank you for the reviews/follows/faves.

CHAPTER ELEVEN

ROSE

It has been said that when you die, your life flashes before your eyes. I can attest to that. I had been dead only for a few minutes after the car crash but in that time, I saw every memory of my life play out before me. There was no rhyme or reason to images, just flashes of times past. Christmas's spent with Lissa and her family at Court. Mason and I running around the Academy during summer break. All the pranks I played on Stan. Even some of my mother, though, those were few and far between.

When the darkness took over tonight, I couldn't help but wait for another set of memories to flash. Knowing this time Dimitri would be in them- at least the last thing I see will be his face. His strong jaw with a hint of stubble when he forgets to shave. The bottomless brown of his eyes, how they crinkled when he gave me a full smile -which was far too rare for my liking. How his long hair framed his handsome face when he hovered over me in the cabin, the ends tickling my heated flesh as we joined together for the first time. The only time.

But they didn't come. There was no movie reel of pictures, no whisper of past conversations. Nothing but a faint echo with a Russian accent begging me to hold on.

As much as I wanted too, I wanted the pain to stop more. The burning, stabbing sensation in my stomach was enough to make me wish for death. But it wasn't just me I had to fight for, but for munchkin too. I felt warmth run over my skin, seeping into my flesh. It was like honey on a summer day, rich and sweet flooding my veins. Right then, I knew everything would be okay. I didn't need to fight it anymore, and I let go.

Rose.

Lissa called through the bond. Rolling my eyes, I tried to open them, much easier this time than earlier. Blinking a few times, I caught the Jade eyes of my best friend. "Hey, Liss," my voice throaty.

She let out a deep sob, wrapping her arms around my torso awkwardly as I laid on the bed. I brushed her hair back, unable to form words of my own just yet. There were many things I needed to tell her, but her thoughts bombarded my own. I gave up on trying to process the mountains of emotions and questions that flowed through the bond and resorted to comfort her. Running my fingers through her pale hair, I hummed the lullaby Rhea used to sing to us when we were little.

During the many holidays and summers that my mother wasn't around, Rhea treated me like another daughter. She clothed and fed me, held me when I was sad, and praised me when I did something well. That last one didn't happen often, but I remember those times like yesterday. Just like the song. Whenever Liss or I had a bad day, she used to sing to us while we laid in her lap. She may not have been my mother by blood, but she filled the shoes of Janine rather well.

Lissa sobs grew heavier at the sound of the music. 'I know, I miss them too', I whispered, still running my hands through her hair. 'Everything is going to be okay, I promise.' She nodded against my chest, before lifting her head to wipe away the tear tracks on her cheeks.

"Don't ever do that again, do you understand," she chastised.

"Which part?" I laughed roughly, followed with a horrid cough. "Water, please." Once the cup had been drained, I looked at her sullen face, "I'm sorry, Liss."

"What is going on, Rose, why have you been hiding things from me? I thought we were best friends."

"We are, Liss, it's just…"

"Complicated," she tilted her head, "Yeah, I figured that out." Her eyes drifted to my mid-section, then back to my face, "Adrian's?"

"No," I shook my head, "But before I tell you, I need you to promise me something," I waited for her nod, "You can't tell anyone, and you can't freak out."

"Okay," she drug out the word.

I shifted into a sitting position on the bed, crossing my legs Indian style, Lissa mirroring me on the other end. After half a dozen deep breaths, "I have been...dating I guess you can call it, Dimitri, and it's his."

"Guardian Belikov," she gasped, "But, you're both Dhampir, how?"

"We don't know, Adrian assumes it's because I'm shadow-kissed."

"Spirit is a powerful element," she mumbled, "This is insane. I don't know what part is harder to believe, that you are pregnant, or that you have been…"

"Sleeping with my Mentor?"

"I wasn't thinking of him like that, just as...Guardian Belikov," she giggled, "he's just so.."

"Untouchable, unapproachable, yeah, I know," I laughed.

The shock wore off quickly, and an ear to ear smile split her face, "Tell me everything!"

"He's amazing, Liss, absolutely amazing," I started, spilling all of the pent-up secrets I have held since we returned to the Academy. I told her about my first thoughts of him, the trip to the Badica house for my qualifier, our snow angels in the mountainside. The torn feelings during Christmas with Tasha around. The love and care he showed me after Spokane. All of the stolen kisses, heated sparring matches, all the way to the night in the cabin.

Lissa ate up every word, hanging on for dear life as I laid out the events of our love story. I could see the tears clouding her eyes as I poured my heart to her. They weren't tears of sorrow, or anything negative, but joy. Much like when I accepted she was happy with Christian, she was happy for me.

"So, what's the deal with Adrian?"

"I need to talk to him," I sighed, "he has been amazing since I found out. He was with me when I took the test, but I think Dimitri and I need to figure this out together."

"That would be the right thing to do, Guardian Belikov deserves his chance to be a part of this," she nodded.

"Will you ever learn to call him, Dimitri," I laughed.

"The day he learns to call me Lissa, or anything other than Princess," she joined me.

"Touche."

We chatted for a while longer, her asking dozens of questions, and me answering as many as I could. After the healing, she had fed, but her coloring was still a bit paler than I would have liked. With a promise to continue our conversation, and a request to send Adrian back, she headed out.

By the clock on the wall, over half the day had passed. I was exhausted and haven't eaten since the half sandwich I stole from the Guardian Lounge before I found Dimitri gone. And the effects of the healing were starting to take their toll. Spirit may be great for many things, say like saving me from dying, again, but the double edge sword of the element left me cloaked in darkness.

Pushing my index and middle fingers into my temple, I tried to rub away some of the strain. I needed a clear mind for my upcoming talk with Adrian. As much as I love him and everything he has done for me, it was time to put things into their proper place. Which means I need him to understand that Dimitri and I will be making the decisions from here on out. It's our child, our lives, we need to call the shots.

"Little Dhampir."

"Hey," I smiled weakly.

"How are you feeling?" He came to sit on the edge of the bed, crossing one leg over the other.

"Okay," I shrugged. Lissa had been able to repair the damage done, but she couldn't fix the matters of my heart. Though Dimitri was ready to run away and leave me to deal with everything alone, he was still the one I wanted by my side. If he so chooses to still leave, I wouldn't stop him, but he wouldn't be replaced.

Besides, I can't give Adrian the love he needs, nor can he fill the void of Dimitri. We are playing a game neither of us has a chance at winning. It was better to fold now and lose a small hand, then go all in and wind up broken. How does the song go, -know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em, know when to walk away', or something like that.

My fingers fiddled with the thick blanket, stalling for time. I wasn't sure how to tell him exactly what I was thinking. So in the end, "Adrian," he turned to face me, the emerald of his eyes drawing me in. Breathing in deeply, "You know I love you, but.."

"Don't give me a break-up line, Rose," he scoffed, cutting me off. "Just say what you want, don't sugar coat it."

My eyes widened at his brash tone, he has never had such a harsh attitude toward me before. I didn't like it, but I also wasn't going to give into it."You've become to invested in this Adrian, and it's not your place. You need to step back, let me and Dimitri figure things out."

"You're kidding, right?" pushing off the bed, he moved to stand a few feet away. Shock rolled over his face, his eyes scanning mine trying to see the truth in my words. "You're serious," he laughed, "I should have known."

"What?"

His hand gripped the back of his neck, leaning his head back he stared at the ceiling, "It's always going to be him, no matter what, you will always choose him." Sighing, he shook his head, spinning on his heel and started toward the door. His next words sent a pang through my chest, "next time he breaks your heart, don't look to me to fix it."

"Adrian," I yelled but he was already gone.

With a groan, I laid back, staring at the stark white ceiling. I doubt there really could have been an easier way to do that, still, I was uneasy with the way he walked out. No doubt he will go find a bottle of something dark to take his mind off of things. Knowing that only fueled the guilt inside of me. I should have put up barriers from the beginning. I knew his feelings for me were far more than what I held for him, but I guess without Dimitri around, I became selfish for the attention. It's no excuse by any means, and I hate that I let it get this far.

Dr. Olendzki came by to check on me a half hour later. With a quick ultrasound, she deemed me and baby perfectly fine. Again, spirit is an amazing element, without it, munchkin and I wouldn't have made it through the day. Alberta, Stan, and Abe came to visit for a few minutes each, all telling me to go to sleep but I was waiting on one more person. None of them had said whether or not Dimitri was still here, but I had a feeling he wouldn't leave again. At least not yet.

I tried to stay awake to see him, but in the end, my exhaustion wore out. Curling up on my side, I rested a hand over my stomach, the other under my head, falling asleep in seconds.

I'm not sure how much time had passed, but when the scent of pine washed over me, I knew I was no longer alone in the room. I tried not to move, not wanting him to know the sound of the door and his scent had woken me. The sound of metal on metal on the bedside table almost made me jump. And I did when the bed dipped behind me.

Dimitri's large hand covered my small one on my stomach, his lips pressing to my ear, "Я люблю тебя, Роза."

"I love you, too, Comrade."