Part I
Chapter 12
'...and when he had gotten up, he was so sure that he was going to be all ok. But that was not the case as such because if he had been more aware, possibly, then he would have heard the bullet shot that just flew through his skull! Yes, in the end, nothing was going well, after all, as much as he had thought otherwise, and those thoughts were now leaking out from his brains.
He grasped at his wound in much vain, but it was much too late. Everything started turning black and he could see lights flicker by from the cars on the streets. Their lights were flashing on the walls of the alley. But that didn't matter too him, what was around him in this case. What he could only ponder only at this moment was only one thing, before he was fully gone, was who the hell had killed him!
He looked up before he died. The alley street was cold but his skin was growing even colder. There was a shadow that was gone quickly, he saw it move. Who the hell was it? Would he ever know? No, because he was dying.
But, wait, maybe not.
Before he died he smelled it. That same damn smell. That was always being around him as a child and through out his life, it was there. Damn it damn it damn it, it was her! He should have known. What Honda said! If he had only listened to him, damn! Then he might have known, about the package, about what was in it! It made sense now, the bottle of perfume! He would have known who was behind it all, he would have!
He breathed his last breath then. His final breath took in the smell of that damn perfume one more time, the damn perfume of his own mother.
...THE END...NOT TO BE CONTINUED...'
Minamo closed the notebook, having finally gone through its contents in about an hour, and then set it down carefully as she picked up the next one.
She stole a quick glance over at Yukari, the woman playing her game still. "I just finished the first ones, about that detective and his mom killing him at the end. Man...I still can't believe that you wrote all this."
Her friend didn't look at her. "Ahh...yeah..."
"Why were you hiding these back there anyway?" She laughed. "Did you not want anyone to find them?"
"Ahh...I don't know...they're old, so, whatever..."
Minamo looked down at the pile of notebooks, brushing them with a hand. "Well...I'm glad that you didn't toss them. I actually thought that you did, since I haven't seen these in a few years..."
Yukari shrugged. "Yeah, well...it's silly ol' crap, so...I forgot about 'em, too."
Her laughter slowly subsided, noticing how drained her friend's voice had suddenly become, some scant trace of regret in it.
What's up with you?
She hadn't really noticed it before since she had been busy reading, but now that her focus had returned to her friend, Minamo could sense that something was different about her, like some part of Yukari's nature had changed. Her usual rambunctious aura seemed to have thinned out a bit, and it was hard to tell whether it was the on-screen drama of her game that had affected it, or if some unspoken personal matter had crept into her consciousness. Whatever it was, though, Minamo didn't want to make too much out of it at the moment, her interest still fully glued to her discoveries today.
Her eyes returned to the pages before her, plunging themselves back into another batch of Yukari's old works from their high school days. While the woman had always loved to devour a good story from very early on in her youth, her morbid specifications for them had made her quite the critic towards most published media that she had run across, always hating whenever a plot was too campy, a certain character blessed with too much love or happiness. Those positive aspects usually discouraged any chance of providing her with the tumultuous events and endings that she required, and so, in order to rectify those mistakes that she saw, she had simply begun writing her own edited versions of them, applying the grisly touches that she felt they had needed and getting a sense of satisfaction that the original source material couldn't provide her. After that, it was just a natural step to begin the process of writing her own original tales, ones in which she could fully unleash her demented desires to her heart's content.
The notebooks that Minamo had been going through then were the collections of all those old writings. Originally Yukari had kept them all to herself upon completion, but her boastful nature hadn't been able to tolerate that modest habit for very long, eventually coming to share them with Minamo, her classmates, even her teachers. Their initial glances at her creations however had given them all a bit of literary indigestion, Yukari's grammar having been quite rough at the time, and Minamo even remembered being told by someone that her friend's Japanese writing was somehow worse than her English.
But, once they had gotten past that...
Minamo smiled widely. "I still think that you really know how to tell a good murder story."
"Yeah…yeah."
She looked over at Yukari with a puzzled expression, her friend's words coming out with that deflated tone again. Minamo had expected the compliment to get more of an upbeat reaction from her, any sort of praise usually such a rarity for her to receive nowadays, but Yukari appeared as if she were just too busy with her game to really care.
Minamo turned her head back to the notebook, a little disappointed that her words hadn't had the effect she desired. She really had meant what she said about the woman's ability to tell a tale, as even though the dreary themes of them weren't exactly palatable to Minamo's usual tastes, they were still incredibly engaging and fun to read. Everyone that Yukari had shown her notebooks to had always been genuinely impressed by the captivating twists and turns that she placed into the plots, the intriguing personalities of the characters that she built, the shocking endings. She just had a natural talent for being able to capture the minds of her readers as they went through her lurid stories, the sheer magnitude of her imagination more than enough to overcome the juvenile grammar that she had constructed them with, which in itself had dissipated as she had gotten older. The stories that she had written in her final year of high school had been crafted with a much higher level of maturity, and while Minamo herself had never been much of the creative type, not able to really fathom anything that required artistic prowess, she had still been able to tell that her friend's writing skills had reached a point in which they were on par, or sometimes even better, than actual published books that she had read.
She peeked over at her friend again, watching her sit lazily as she continued on with her game.
So I still just don't understand...
She got up, walking over to Yukari with the notebook in hand and then sat down next to her. "Hey, Yukari."
"Whaaaaaat?"
"Pause it for a sec."
Yukari grimaced.
She lightly hit her friend's head with the book. "Come on, look at me. I want to talk to you."
The woman grunted, a frustrated look on her face now.
Minamo sighed. "I just want to know something. How come you stopped writing anyways? You never really explained that to me."
Yukari shrugged.
"Come on, I just want to know. I remember that you used to always be so pumped up about all this back in high school. Did you just get tired of it, or what?"
Her friend didn't respond, but Minamo saw her mouth morph into the slightest of frowns, a listless one that triggered the revival of a memory.
Now that I think about it...didn't this happen the last time I asked her about this?
She sat back, looking down at the book in her hands as she recalled Yukari's reactions to her previous interrogation of her forgotten talent, something that had happened during the start of their college days. In the years before that, Yukari had always been so excited about showing off her completed works to everyone, to hear what they all thought about them, if they could guess who'd be killing who, if the overall story was ghastly enough, and her passion for her art had even made her consider incorporating it into her future life at the time. 'Kickass author' was what Minamo remembered being at the top of the list from Yukari's career paper back in school, her friend's ecstatic face when she had wrote it down still quite vivid in her mind.
But after they had graduated and started their college adventures, that overwhelming desire to create had just disappeared from her for some reason, the woman having changed her original plans as she declared that she was becoming an English teacher instead. Her new choice in occupation had baffled Minamo completely, Yukari not having been the sort of person who had ever enjoyed being around kids, let alone instructing them, and so when she had inquired about the reason for that change of heart, her friend had acted in the same obstinate way as she was now. At most, she had simply stated that she was finished with her former calling, her works just a childish distraction from her past that she didn't need anymore, and had made it clear to Minamo that neither it or her notebooks mattered to her at all anymore.
So if that was true, then why do have them still?
A thought came to her, one that advised her to apply a kindness to her next words. "Hey Yukari...are you disappointed that some things didn't work ou-"
"I told you to put 'em back."
Her friend's voice was razor sharp, Minamo becoming a bit taken aback by them, but their instilled anger had made it more than obvious that she had struck at a nerve.
That's what it is, then...
She let Yukari be for a minute, just watching her, not wanting to bother her again until the woman's mood softened from what it had just hardened to. "Sorry...I was just curious."
Her friend didn't answer her, a stoic look on her face now.
Minamo sighed, regretting the bluntness of her question since the flow of their conversation hadn't really called for it, but the desire for an answer had been too hard to ignore. She just wanted to know why Yukari looked a little run down now, of why her old notebooks had instigated a change of moods, because she was concerned as to how she was feeling. However, going about it in the way that she had wasn't looking so smart in hindsight now, her friend's demeanor having turned for the worse because of it. Geez, why did I do that...
She watched the television screen for a few moments, not really paying attention to what was happening on it, but just using it as a distraction as she wondered over her actions. Back in the day, that specific question had never occurred to her because the nature of it was such that it could only be asked in the present time and place, after they had both established their lives down to a certain degree, and it had just now entered her mind. Minamo had gotten the notion that Yukari might have kept her notebooks for some sentimental reasons, and her brash behavior over them gave off the impression that she might not have been able to really let go of one of her old high school dreams. Considering the woman's usual preference for avoiding personal topics, discussing them always risking a chance for her to be seen as 'weak', it did make sense to Minamo. Yukari's usual response to such situations were always of the childish variety, only knowing how to show apathy or anger towards any such attempts to understand her better, just as she had done both now and back in college when the topic of her abandoned hobby had been first presented.
I guess she just doesn't want to deal with any of sort of past failures, since she's stuck being an English teacher instead of writing books. But...
Minamo looked back at her friend, furrowing her brow.
...you didn't fail at it. You just quit. You never even tried, and that's what I don't understand. You could have easily just kept on writing, but you just stopped completely for no reason.
What Minamo wanted to do at that moment was to engage in a good chat with her friend, to try and find out why exactly she had let go of her high school passion, but the urge to do so quickly left her. She didn't want to prod at her friend any more than she already had, Yukari possessed with a brooding appearance now, but in addition to that, she just didn't feel like she had any real right to do so. Her friend had undoubtedly been carrying this issue with her for years, keeping it within herself, and the fact that Minamo didn't know about it, being her best friend and all, made her feel awful. Even though the woman was acting a bit juvenile about it, she still felt as if she had let her down somehow, like she was always supposed to know what was on her friend's mind since she of all people understood her the best.
Minamo frowned, on the verge of just letting the whole thing go. What was making her feel worse now, on top of not knowing about her friend's internal troubles, was that she had probably skewed Yukari's whole day as well. All the woman had wanted to do was just relax and play her games in peace, and being reminded about a trashed dream hadn't exactly given her that.
Geez, I even made her do some chores today...
She looked around the room then, taking in how sparkling everything looked now, all because she had just told Yukari to organize and clean it all.
But...she did listen to me still, even if she didn't want to do it. So, maybe...
A streak of hope went through her then, convincing her of something.
…maybe I should just approach this from a different angle, instead of just asking her why she stopped writing. I should try anyways...I just won't push it too much.
"Hey..." She waved the notebook around in her hand. "So...I kind of have a fun idea. Want to hear it?"
Yukari ignored her.
"I was thinking…um, why don't you try writing something again? You know, like with your time off, you could. There's nothing wrong with you gaming like this, but it's just...I mean…you never advise a club or anything, so you could put all that free time towards something that's kinda' both fun and productive…?"
The woman watched something on the screen for a minute before answering. "Why you gotta' come over here and bug me today? I didn't ask you to."
"I'm not trying to bug you. It's j-"
"Yeah you are, so leave me alone or go the hell home already."
Minamo bit her lip, bracing herself against Yukari's yelling and feeling genuinely hurt from it. "Hey...I..."
She stopped short with her words, Yukari appearing as if she really didn't want to talk any more, and then gazed down at the book in her hands. She didn't think her friend would be this angry about it all, but apparently there was a lot more to this whole issue that wasn't being brought up to the surface, Minamo now realizing that these notebooks were of a much bigger deal to the woman than she had initially thought. Her friend's giant shift in emotions today made that quite clear, and even though that was somewhat of a normal thing to happen to Yukari, Minamo could feel that something was different about this particular occasion. Her anger this time felt more like a wall than an attack, sheltering something behind it in much the same way as her entertainment stand had, hiding those notebooks for however long they had been back there.
Why do I keep on pushing things like this...?
Her eyes drifted down, Minamo wondering why she had always tried so hard to know whatever was eating at her friend. She wasn't sure if she was overdoing things or not, but, to Minamo, it just always felt as if it were her own responsibility to personally attend to Yukari's dilemmas, no matter how big or small that they might be. Even if they were best friends, she had never really been under any true obligation to deal with them all, but had always continued to do so anyways, because if she didn't...
The resoluteness that had filled her a minute ago raced back in.
…then no one else would.
Minamo looked up at her friend again, moving closer to her as she toned her voice to sound as kind as it could be. "Hey, I'm sorry for prying. I'll leave it alone now. But Yukari, it's just...sometimes when I see you just sitting here, I sort of wonder what else you could be doing, you know?" She sighed. "Yukari...do you know why I'm always telling you to get your act together? Because I really think that you could make a lot more out of yourself if you just took life a bit more seriously. Like with these." She tapped the notebook. "When I see things like this, I just think that, if you really applied yourself, you could really do some amazing stuff. I mean, you can write a good story, you learned another language, and that's with you not even trying that hard."
No answer.
"…I mean, that's why I always fight with you when it comes to just taking care of simple things like cleaning your room." She waved an arm around. "I know you don't like doing it, but see how nice everything looks now? It just starts with things like that, becoming more professional about things I mean. Now imagine how good it would feel if you applied all that ethic into something like…writing a book. Yeah! Think about that! I mean, who knows where it would go off to? Even if you just do it as a hobby, who knows, don't a lot of writers start out like that? You never know, someone out there could really like it and then you could even sell something! Maybe even become famous! Wouldn't that be awesome? Yeah?"
It was barely noticeable, but she saw her friend's posture soften just a bit.
Minamo smiled, gently pushing her friend's shoulder. "Yeah! See, it would be, wouldn't it? That's what I think! So...anyways, Yukari, I just figure that, if you can just get the rest of your life together, just stuff like even doing some cleaning, then you'll feel a bit more confident and happy about everything, you know?" Her hand pointed towards the notebook. "And you'll get some pride back in yourself, so you can start doing things like this again."
Some extra inflection had been placed in her last words, but her efforts seemed for naught, Minamo feeling like she was losing her friend's attention again since that previous rock-like expression of hers had returned.
What is wrong with you? You're usually so crazy about hearing people say nice things about you...
"Alright, alright. Look, I'll stop bothering you about it. It's just...I really mean this when I say it, Yukari. I'm not trying to patronize you or anything, but I really feel..." She paused for a few moments, thinking of how to word what she wanted to say next. "I really do think that you write well, and I think that you could really make something more out of yourself if you picked it up again. I mean...I know my opinion might not mean much since I'm not an expert on this stuff or anything, and, yeah, you know me, sad endings aren't really my thing. But..."
She took one last look at the notebook in her hands.
"...it's just...I don't know. It's like...when you're the one who writes it, like, the way that you do, then, I don't know...I just find that I can fall in love with it somehow anyways."
A set of screams suddenly came from the television, Minamo flinging her head towards it.
"Ah, shit. I gotta' reload from the last town now."
Her friend's break of silence surprised her, Minamo returning her attention back to Yukari, and, upon looking at her once more, felt the biggest of grins spread across her face.
Whoa!
Minamo hadn't seen it when it had actually happened, but the stoic, rigid face that Yukari had put on for the last while had finally cracked. Her lips were set about in this crooked sort of fashion now, the pupils of her eyes quivering just a touch as they tried to stay focused on the screen in front them.
Oh my gosh...she's actually embarrassed!
It was a rare sight to see, Yukari actually looking genuinely abashed, but Minamo's encouraging words had accomplished the feat. The stubborn, uncaring demeanor that the woman had been putting up had finally been broken through, and the skittishness that had now taken a hold of her was filling Minamo with glee. There was just this certain kind of joy to be experienced when seeing someone of Yukari's make fidget around as she was doing now, looking downright adorable as she attempted to remain in control of herself, to try and keep her pride in its usual lofty place.
But more than that, it was the fact of knowing that her little speech had meant something to Yukari, that the woman might actually even be considering the advice of taking up her old hobby again, that was truly delighting Minamo now.
She always listens to me...she always does.
She put a hand on her friend's head, messing with her hair as she playfully petted it. Yukari never really liked people coming into close physical contact with her, so the gesture was essentially their form of a hug, Minamo just letting the woman know that there was never any bad blood between them, no matter how upset that they could get at each other. To some degree, it was almost the same way in which someone might show affection towards a pet animal, rubbing them with a hand to show their approval or affection for them.
An animal...
Minamo took in her friend for a moment, examining what that thought meant to her.
What's this remind of me? It's kind of like...
Her musing went on, Minamo trying to figure out the context between herself and Yukari at the moment. Whenever she considered the dynamics of their relationship as a whole, she would often place her friend into the role of some kind of wild beast, Yukari's unpredictable nature and ferocious personality having the ability to frighten just about anyone out there. Her face really could become so savage at times, so fiery whenever she got worked up, and even her hair itself added to that primal image, her brown waves flowing about as if they were attached to the proud head of a lion.
Minamo smirked.
That's what it is! Exactly like that! That's what you always remind me of...
She held in some laughter, not wanting to perturb her friend. At the end of everything, that's really what Yukari Tanizaki was to her, an indomitable lion that roared and fought with whoever and whatever in order to get her way, her arrogance and volatility able to tear through even the most patient of defenses. And much like any wild beast, she was incredibly tough to coexist with on any level, people around her always wary of what idiotic thing she would say next, how angry she could become, how bad she could snap. There was just always this sense of terror that one would experience from being near her, Yukari's mood docile and calm at one moment and then, in an instant, becoming turbulent for almost no reason as she lashed out at her nearest prey.
Yet, despite all that, of how feral the woman could be, Minamo was still right there next to her, sitting down in the middle of her den with no real fear of what she could do. She had been scratched before of course, suffered some minor injuries during the time that she had known her, but a little spilt blood here and there was to be expected when trying to tame someone of Yukari's breed.
Tame...
Her smile widened, an idea coming to her.
Let's see...let's see if she'll bite...
Minamo moved closer to Yukari, sitting right beside her now. While her hand was still messing with her friend's hair, her fingers began to slightly pull on long bunches of it, wrapping the smooth brown strands around them. She played with it all then, running her fingers softly through it, straightening all the giant tangles out since it looked as if Yukari hadn't attended to it for a few days.
All the while she watched her friend closely, waiting for a reaction, to see if she would overstep some hidden boundary, waiting, waiting...
...and...nothing.
Minamo relaxed herself down on the floor, continuing on with her coy little game. If Yukari didn't even enjoy being hugged by others, then she figured that the woman would absolutely kill anyone who ever touched her hair in the way that she was doing so now, Minamo never having attempted anything like this with her before. But her friend just didn't seem to care about her personal space being violated, her attention glued to the screen as her flustered expression melted back into its regular state.
It's true...it really is true. I'm the only one who you'll ever listen to, that can do something like this with you...
With every twist of Yukari's hair, Minamo felt a palpation go through her chest, an old excitement that was tingling to life once again as she began to feel so connected to her friend, so in tune with her. Not even Yukari's old boyfriends had managed to pull off a stunt like she was doing at the moment, and for some reason, the knowledge of that fact sent chills racing up her spine.
...you'd never really hurt me. You'd never bite my hand for real, maybe others, but never mine, because I'm the only one that you trust. Only me, only me...
Her breathing picked up, and without realizing what she was doing, she brought a thick strand of Yukari's hair towards her face.
And I trust you...because I know you. I can tame you. No one else can, only me, only me...because you're...
She smelled it.
...my lion.