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"EVERYTHING"

Chapter XI - Conversations & Missions

"She is finally asleep", Ziva whispered as she looked over her shoulder to see Tony exit the bathroom. "I cannot believe she stays up so late now."

"Yeah, well", Tony chuckled nervously as he scratched his head, "We didn't really figure out a sleep schedule with everything going on. Most nights she crashes late then wakes up in the middle of the night looking for ..." He let the sentence die there when Ziva gave a sad knowing nod.

She wiped a stray tear and looked back at Tali. "I should not have left her behind."

"You did what you thought was right", Tony offered.

"And now it has cost me missing an entire year of her life, including her birthday", she said in a defeated tone. "She has grown so much. I have missed a lot."

"It's better than missing two years and not knowing about her at all." He didn't mean for it to come out so harsh, but it did.

Ziva's head snapped up to meet his gaze, "Tony ... I ..."

"I know, you're sorry. It's fine."

"It is not fine, I should have told you about Tali but ..."

"There are no buts, Ziva", he interrupted rudely. "Just drop it, okay? You're back now. Tali has her Ima back. Everything is back to normal."

Ziva swallowed the knot in her throat and tried to keep an even temper as she realized Tony was about to get angry. She knew this conversation was necessary, but she didn't want things to get too heated. Not with their sleeping daughter in the room. Calmly she asked, "What exactly is 'back to normal'?"

"Don't know", he shrugged, "Guess it means you taking Tali back to Israel and raising her like you wanted. Cutting me out again. Pretending I don't exist."

"Tony, that is not what I want."

"Could've fooled me", he stated sarcastically as he sat in a chair on the other side of the room.

Ziva tried to fight back her tears. "Why would you assume that I want that?"

"Maybe because you had to 'die' in order for me to even know I had a daughter. Where you EVER planning on telling me?!" Tony's chest heaved as his emotions started spiraling out of his control. This isn't how he wanted the conversation to go but his deep emotions about the entire situation beat his better, more civilized, judgement. Standing from his seat, he started pacing the floor. He needed to vent, so he did. "Two years Ziva! I missed TWO YEARS of my daughter's life, and for what? I talked to Orli after she brought Tali to DC. She told me you found out you were pregnant a couple months after I left you in Tel Aviv. I was STILL trying to keep contact with you during that time! You had EVERY opportunity to tell me about her before she was even born! You cheated me out of being a father! Out of being in her life!"

"It was not easy." Ziva's eyes pleaded for understanding but Tony was too caught up in his hurt.

"How?! How was it NOT easy?!" Tony stopped pacing and threw his hand up in frustration as he looked at Ziva, "All you had to do was say two words, 'I'm pregnant'! That's ALL you had to say! I would have been there to help and be the father my daughter needed! Now I've been stuck trying to play catch-up because you wanted to what? Prove, once again, that you don't need a man? We get it, okay!? The ENTIRE world gets it! The almighty Ziva David is Ms. Independent! But what about me? What about my feelings? What about what I needed?"

"I did think about your feelings Tony! And that is why I did not tell you!" She paused as the tears broke free. "I knew you would have given up everything you loved to do the honorable thing and come back to Israel for us! I could not let you do that! I did not want you to give up your life!"

Tony scoffed, "Newsflash! I gave up everything I loved when I left you on that tarmac almost four years ago! YOUwhere everything I loved and you forced me to leave! I gave up my life when you told me to get on that plane and never look back!"

The increased elevation in his voice, and the tension in the room, caused Tali to stir in her sleep. The small whimper that escaped the now three year old brought Tony back to a level head. He sighed and picked her up just as she started to cry, "Shhh. I'm sorry Talikins. Abba didn't mean to wake you. It's okay, sleep princess." Within moments the toddler was back to sleep.

Ziva watched as he laid Tali back on the bed and tucked her in sweetly. "You may have missed two years", she whispered softly, "but you are extremely good with her. As if you have been there the entire time."

Tony looked up but didn't say anything, the hurt in his eyes said enough.

"I know what I did was probably selfish ..."

"Probably?"

Ziva sighed, "Okay, I was very selfish. I just did not know how to tell you. Then time kept moving and it got ..."

"Harder? Yeah, I know... Orli told me that too."

"Tony", she grabbed his wrist lightly to stop him from putting distance between them again. "I want to fix this. To fix... us."

"What us?" He shook his head, "You stopped any chance of 'us' a long time ago."

Ziva stood and stared in his eyes, "I want to try now. We deserve that chance again. Tali deserves both her parents ... And if it was really over, you would have never came to find me. You would have never kissed me the way you did earlier." Tony rolled his eyes and turned his face but she gently turned it back to meet his gaze again. "Please, I know I have not made the best decisions in the past, and I do not deserve your forgiveness ... but ... I am asking you to forgive me. I am begging you to find it in your heart to give US one more chance. The worst mistake of my life was letting you go. I do not want to lose you again. And Tali needs you more than ever. We BOTH need you. I truly am sorry, Tony."

"You broke my heart ... again", he whispered as his forehead touched hers.

"I know", she said breathlessly as her heartbeat sped up. "But I have always been good at putting it back together. I swear, the last time was the very last time. Let me mend it again. I promise, I will cherish it the way I should have a long time ago. Let me prove it, please ..."

Silence fell between them. There was nothing left for either to say. Time seemed to stand still as Tony closed his eyes and closed the distance between them. Their lips met in a sweet kiss that spoke his full forgiveness and her full appreciation.

When they finally pulled apart, Tony spoke, "We have a lot of work to do, but I'm willing to try. If not for us, then for our daughter. I can't take another setback, so I need you to be sure that this is what you want before I invest my heart into you again."

"I am sure ... this is all I have wanted since the day Tali was born ... my family."

"Zi, I love you."

"I love you too."

"Tali loves too!"

They both burst into laughter as they turned to look at a fully awake Tali. The toddler giggled and reached to be picked up and brought into the hug. Ziva shook her head as she went to the bed and picked her up, "You really need to get back to a normal sleep schedule when we get home, motek." When she brought Tali over to Tony, Ziva looked up at him pensively, "Where is home now exactly?"

"Well", he chuckled, "We have a few, but lately we have been in DC. I guess we can talk about what you want to do when we get back. The place in Tel Aviv that Senior got us is pretty sweet, but I really liked being back in DC and Talikins likes being close to Grampa Gibbs and company."

"I still cannot believe you left NCIS."

"Didn't have a choice."

"Yes, you did."

"No, I didn't. You were gone and I was all Tali had left. I was her everything, and she became mine. I couldn't put myself in danger every day and leave her with no one. Plus, we had a new mission to find Ima, right Talikins?"

The toddler giggled as Tony tickled her, "Mish-on! Mish-on!"

Ziva chuckled, "Well, now we have a new mission."

"What's that", he asked, intrigued by her tone.

"Being a family. Being each other's everything."

I know. I know. This was LOONNNGGGGGG overdue.

I swear, life got in the way. Between school and wedding planning and traveling out of the country.

My bad peeps. BUT, here's my promise:

I'm starting another story. Hopefully within the next few days. That is, if my peeps want me to.

It's totally up to you guys. Anyhooooo ... Thanks for reading!

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Later peeps!

- Chide