A/N: Hey everyone! Here's another chapter of Family Guy EG! Special thanks to Family Guy Fan writer 15 for helping with this chapter! I hope you like it! I do not own Family Guy or the OC, Emily Griffin. Emily Griffin belongs to Family Guy Fan writer 15. Enjoy!
Chapter 6: Christmas with the Griffins
It was a snowy morning on Spooner Street. In the Griffin house, the TV was on, showing Channel 5 News. Tom and Joyce were dressed festively for the holidays.
"Ho ho ho." Tom said. "This is Tom Tucker."
"And Joyce Kinney." Joyce said.
"Our top story, it's Christmas everybody!" Tom said.
"The time of the year has come, everything's gotten decorated for the whole month." Joyce said.
Just then, the TV turned off. Emily put down the remote and started to prance joyfully around the house.
"That time of the year is arriving once again..." Emily said with bliss.
She skipped into the kitchen where Lois was getting breakfast ready.
"Good morning, Emily. My, you look very happy today." Lois said.
"I know, right?" Emily said. "The holidays are coming, and it's the first time for me to spend with my new family."
"That's wonderful, honey. Do you think you can get your little brother? It's almost time for his breakfast." Lois said.
"Why sure." Emily replied. "I've already got a cute outfit for him to make him festive."
"I can't wait to see it." Lois said.
Emily came up to Stewie's room where he was still asleep.
"Stewie..." Emily said softly.
Stewie softly opened his eyes to see his sister looking at him.
"Good morning, Stewie." Emily said.
"Morning already?" Stewie asked as he yawned.
"And that's not all... it's Christmas time!" Emily said.
"Already?" Stewie asked.
Emily then sniffed something.
"Oh, smells like someone needs a change!" She said as she picked up Stewie and brought him to the changing table.
Emily unzipped Stewie's pajamas. She then unfastened the tapes on Stewie's diaper.
"Well, doesn't that look like a pleasant gift you offered." Emily teased.
"Says the girl who has it too." Stewie said with a smirk. Emily glared at Stewie for a brief moment. She then took off his old diaper and got a new one.
"And once I get this on, I bought this nice outfit that would suit you for the occasion." Emily said as she fastened a new diaper on Stewie.
"What outfit?" Stewie asked.
Emily brought in Stewie in the kitchen. Stewie is wearing shoes, his diaper, and a Christmas sweater.
"Oh! My God! He looks so adorable!" Lois shouted.
"But it's kind of itchy..." Stewie muttered.
Chris, Meg, and Peter came downstairs for breakfast.
"Morning Lois," Peter said. "Thinking about scrambling some eggnog?"
"Sure, I can make you some eggnog." Lois said.
"Hey, nice Christmas sweater." Peter said to Stewie.
"Thanks, Fatman." Stewie thanked.
Emily came up to Peter and hugged him.
"I gave him the sweater." Emily said.
"And it's still itchy." Stewie complained
Brian came in wearing a scarf and a World War I aviator cap.
"Morning, Brian." Emily said.
"Morning, everyone." Brian said.
He sat at the table as Lois gave everyone their breakfast. As the family was eating breakfast, Emily had an idea.
"Hey, I was thinking, we should throw a Christmas party at our house!" Emily said.
"That's a lovely idea Emily." Lois replied.
"So, who wants to take care of invitations?" Emily asked.
Everyone else just pondered. Then, Peter and Brian raised their hands to volunteer for the job of invitations.
"Me and Peter can take care of the invitations." Brian said.
"Are you sure?" Lois asked. "He'll most likely send them to the wrong places."
"Actually, Peter, maybe you can help with decorating the house. Me and Emily can do the invitations." Brian said.
"Sure, why not?" Emily asked.
After breakfast, Lois went upstairs to the attic to get the box of Christmas decorations.
"Let's see..." Lois said as she looked around. "Valentines... Easter... Independence Day... Ah. Here it is."
She came down the attic holding the box of Christmas decorations.
"Alright, here's the box of decorations." She said as she placed the box on the ground. She then felt the urge to start a musical number.
Lois: Come on now, show some cheer
Christmas time is coming here
Another day for the greatest time of year
Emily: Come on, show some care
Outside, there's snow everywhere
Everyone's got their love to spare
Stewie: Christmas can be great and all
Receiving presents short and tall
But the downside here is ugly sweaters
Can't you see they make me itch?!
Meg: Making cookies
Ain't it sweet?
Gingerbread to chocolate chip
Would be a real treat
Chris: And all the gifts we get
It's just so darn great!
For Christmas time
I just hate to wait
Peter: I always enjoy the time of life
Whenever we see the snow delight.
Brian: Bring it up to trim the lights.
Emily: What are you waiting for? A snowball fight?
Emily opened the door and she, Meg, Chris, and Stewie ran outside. Brian took out some Christmas lights from the decoration box.
Stewie: Have you ever try to write you name
Right into the deep white snow
Emily: Why would you do that?
You should take this as a no
Peter: And look over there, it's our pal Joe
"Merry Christmas, Peter!" Joe called out.
"Merry Christmas! Wanna come to our Christmas party tomorrow?" Peter asked.
"Love to, but we can't," Joe said. "We're spending the holiday in Alaska."
"Okay. Hope you have fun in Alaska!" Peter said.
Lois: Bringing down our Christmas tree
Brian: I should mark it with my pee
"Not in the house, you don't." Lois said sternly.
Chris: I would like to ride my sled
Down the hill to the iced bed
Meg: Go ahead
Chris sledded down the snowy hill.
"Not my rosebud!" Emily shouted.
Peter: Roasting chestnuts by the open fire
And by roasting, I mean by telling jokes
Lois hung the stockings while Brian put some Christmas lights on the tree.
Stewie: Ham and turkey to our feast,
Enough to fit an entire beast
Emily: Couldn't be enough to say the least
Emily wrote down some invitations for the Christmas party as Chris and Meg put some ornaments on the tree.
Chris: Are we hanging apples on our tree?
Meg: Those are ornaments, can't you see
Chris: But they sure look like apples to me
Chris took a bite and screamed in pain.
Chris: Ow! Now, I see! I'm sorry!
Emily: Sending invites to our family
Such as my grandparents and yours
Lois: Almost done with our Christmas chores
Stewie, would you like put the star on the tree?
Stewie: Yes, I would!
Stewie ran to Lois and grabbed the star ornament. Lois picked him up and held him high. Stewie placed the star on the tree.
Everyone: Seems that we're set when Christmas is on its wayyyy
Emily was finished with the invitations.
"Come on, Brian. Let's go mail these." She said.
Emily and Brian walked to the post office.
"Oh, hey Emily." Cleveland said. "Merry Christmas."
"Merry Christmas to you too. Hey, do you think you can mail these?" Emily said.
"Why sure." Cleveland said. "I was just on the last day of mailing before the holidays."
"Thank you. See you, Cleveland!" Emily said.
"See you too." Cleveland said.
Cleveland put the invitations in his mail bag and left the post office to mail them.
"Invitations all set." Emily said as she was looking forward to a huge family reunion.
"Let's go back home." Brian said.
At the Griffin house, Peter, Lois and Stewie were watching TV.
"We now return to 'The Polar Express 2" The TV announcer said.
TV CUTAWAY
The Polar Express train was riding on its tracks.
"Off to the North Pole again!" The conductor said to the kids who are now adults.
"Sir, we're full grown adults. Why are you bringing us to the North Pole?" One of the 'kids' asked.
The conductor tried to think of a reason.
"To experience the magic again?" He answered in question.
"We've experienced the magic many times before!" One of the 'kids' shouted.
The conductor realized that the kid had a point.
"I miss the good ol' days..." The conductor said.
TV CUTAWAY ENDS
Emily and Brian opened the door.
"We took care of the invitations." Brian said.
"That's wonderful." Lois said.
"So who did you invite?" Peter asked
"I invited Quagmire, Cleveland, Joyce Kinney, and some other members of this family." Emily replied.
"Wait a minute..." Lois said. "You invited Joyce Kinney?"
"Why yes, why- oh..." Emily said in realization.
Lois crossed her arms.
"Mom, I'm sorry. But she's my aunt. I really would like it for her to be at this Christmas party." Emily said. "I forgot you didn't get along with her ever since the stuff you told me about."
"But maybe you can try to make amends with her. After all, that was the past." Emily suggested.
"She's got a point there." Brian said.
The next day, the family was getting the party ready. Peter, Meg, Lois, and Brian were preparing the food at the house and Emily, Chris, and Stewie were at the Quahog Mall looking for gifts to give to their family and friends.
"Oh my gosh." Chris said. "This stand is selling churros."
"Chris, we're here to buy gifts, not churros." Emily said.
"Awww..." Chris said in disappointment.
"Why couldn't I just wear my usual clothes instead of this torturing sweater?" Stewie asked while scratching.
He is still wearing his ugly sweater, boots, and a diaper.
"Seriously, it feels like I'm getting chicken pox again." Stewie added.
"Mom and I think you look so cute in that sweater." Emily said.
"And what the deuce is this sweater even made of? Poison oak?" Stewie asked.
"It's made out of wool and fabric." Emily answered.
"Oh... Why can't it be cotton or silk?" Stewie complained. "It feels like small trimmings left in someone's hair after a haircut!"
"Stewie, stop complaining. We need to find some gifts for our family and friends." Emily said.
"Easy for you to say." Stewie said. "You're not wearing an ugly sweater."
Emily was busy looking for what gifts to give.
"Now let's see now..." Emily said to herself while looking. "What should I give?"
Chris entered a shop looking for something. Suddenly, there was a bell ringing as a two men and a woman came up to Chris.
"Congratulations!" The first man exclaimed. "You're today's 100th contestant!"
"And because of this, you win a grand prize." The woman in the group said.
"Really? What do I win?" Chris asked excitedly.
"A box containing 12 fruitcakes!" The second man said.
"Yay!" Chris cheered as the woman handed him the box.
"Wait what?" Chris asked as he now realized what he won. Chris's arms fell down as he held the box.
"Why the fruitcakes?" Chris asked.
"This is a fruitcake shop!" One of the guys said.
"Oh no." Chris whispered.
Chris was now struggling with the box. As Emily and Stewie were walking, Emily noticed Chris holding the box.
"Chris? What's with the box?" Emily asked.
"I became the 100th customer at a fruitcake shop..." Chris replied.
"Well, how many fruitcakes are in the box?" Emily asked.
"Twelve." Chris answered.
"Oh my goodness..." Emily whispered.
"Can I just give it to someone who would be stupid enough to take it?" Chris asked.
"That could be easier said than done since it's hard to find someone who likes fruitcake." Emily said.
"Can we please find some gifts so we can go home?" Chris asked. "And maybe someone who can carry this box?"
Emily looked around for some gifts.
"What if I could buy them some nice Christmas sweaters for gifts?" Emily asked herself out loud.
"Please don't..." Stewie said as they walked into a clothing store.
They walked into the aisle where Christmas sweaters were on sale.
"Ooh..." Emily said. "How about this one?"
She showed one of the sweaters to Stewie.
"It better not be an itchy type." Stewie said. "If it's not itchy, I want to wear it."
"Sorry Stewie, but it's not for you." Emily said.
"Awwww..." Stewie whined.
"Can we please go to a toy store so I can buy a wagon for this box?" Chris complained.
"I guess so..." Emily said as they left the clothing store.
They come out of the toy store with the box on a wagon. However, Chris is struggling to pull the wagon.
"It's still heavy even with the wagon!" Chris said.
Back at the Griffin house, the dinner table is set with many chairs and plates. Lois and Meg were placing the food on the table.
"So, where should I place the pudding?" Meg asked.
"Place it in the kitchen. That's one of the desserts. We'll get the desserts later." Lois said.
"And what about the cookies?" Meg asked
"Cookies!" Cookie Monster said as he appeared behind Meg.
Meg screamed and grabbed a frying pan. She hit Cookie Monster on the head, knocking him unconscious.
"How did he get in here?" Meg asked.
"Doesn't matter. Just get him out of the house." Lois said.
Meg opened the door and dragged Cookie Monster's body outside. Meg walked back inside and closed the door, leaving Cookie Monster outside in the snow. After she closed the door, he woke up. Meg quickly locked the door.
"Hey, let me in!" Cookie Monster said. "Me just want cookies."
"Too bad! You can't have any!" Meg shouted.
"Awww..." Cookie Monster whined as he left.
"Whew. That was close." Meg said.
"What was all that about?" Peter asked.
"Cookie Monster was about to steal some cookies that we made." Meg answered.
The door opened and Emily, Stewie, and Chris walked in.
"You're back already?" Peter asked. "And what with that huge box?"
"Oh no..." Lois said. "Don't tell me you became today's 100th contestant at the fruitcake shop."
"I did..." Chris said nervously. "Sorry..."
"There's 12 fruitcakes in the box." Emily pointed out.
"Well, what are we going to do about these fruitcakes?" Meg asked.
"Maybe we should eat them." Peter said.
He opened the box, grabbed a fruitcake and took a bite. After a few seconds, Peter spitted out the cake.
"This tastes terrible!" Peter shouted. "Who invented this trash?!"
"What are we going to do? The people that we invited will be here any minute!" Emily said.
"But what about me?" Stewie asked complaining while scratching. "Couldn't someone get this ghastly sweater off of me?!"
Emily looked at Stewie.
"Alright, Stewie. I got something better for you to wear." Emily said.
"Yes! Finally!" Stewie yelled happily.
Then, Stewie felt something on his head. Emily just put a headband with antlers on his head. She then got a small red ball and placed it on Stewie's nose.
"DAMMIT DR. SEUSS!" Stewie shouted.
"Oh, Stewie! You look so adorable as Rudolph!" Lois said as Stewie made an angry face.
"Hey, Lois! Can you come here for a few seconds?" Peter asked.
Lois walked to the doorway where Peter was standing.
"What is it, Peter?" She asked.
"Look up." Peter said.
Lois lifted her head to find some mistletoe. Lois giggled as she knew what this meant. Lois and Peter leaned in for a kiss. Stewie pointed to inside of his mouth to show disgust. Emily just smiled at the romantic moment.
"I hate this so much..." Stewie muttered to himself.
He swiped the red ball off his nose.
Brian ran for it, picked it up with his mouth and brought it back to Stewie.
"I wasn't playing fetch." Stewie said.
Emily noticed the red ball and put it back on Stewie's nose.
"Oh no, Emily don't put it back!" Stewie said panicking as she put it back on his nose. "Oh, it's got dog slobber!"
Just then, the doorbell rang. Peter and Lois broke their kiss.
"I'll get it." Emily said.
She opened the door to reveal the Pewterschmidts.
"Who the hell are you?" Carter asked. "Are we at the wrong house?"
"Mom! Dad!" Lois said as she walked up to the door and gave her parents a hug.
"Hello Lois." Barbara said. "Happy holidays."
"Don't say like that, Babs..." Carter said grumpily. "We're not a Jewish family."
"Who is this with you, Lois?" Barbara asked.
"Oh, this is my new daughter Emily." Lois said.
"You didn't tell me you've got another daughter." Carter said.
"Well, she's technically my step-daughter Peter had when he was drunk 15 years ago." Lois explained.
"Then, why is she here?" Carter asked.
"Her real mother died in a car crash months ago." Lois replied.
"Oh my goodness!" Barbara said in shock.
"Like if I care." Carter replied.
"Well, that's rude..." Emily muttered.
"Come inside." Lois said as she allowed her parents to come inside the house.
"Aww..." Carter said as he looked at Stewie. "Who let the reindeer in the house?"
Emily giggled at Carter's comment.
"I didn't asked to be treated like Max." Stewie said. "I'd rather be in just a diaper than this..."
"By the way grandson," Barbara said. "I've got an early Christmas present for you."
"What is it?" Stewie asked excitedly. "Is it Christmas cookies?"
"I hope it's not fruitcake..." Chris muttered.
"Close your eyes and wait and see." Barbera said.
Stewie closed his eyes. Barbara pulled out a present and placed it on Stewie's hands. Stewie opened his eyes to find another ugly sweater.
"You've gotta be f***ing kidding me..." Stewie grumbled.
"Oh my God, doesn't that look cute!" Lois said excitedly.
"Oh no, not again!" Stewie exclaimed.
Brian snickered. Stewie glared coldly at Brian.
"Anyway," Carter said. "I also got you something for you, Griffin."
He handed Peter a box which felt very heavy.
"What the hell is in this box?" Peter asked.
Peter opened the box to find fruitcake inside.
"Oh no!" Peter groaned in agony.
"Ha ha!" Carter said tauntingly. "I knew you would be disappointed."
Lois heard a knock on the door and opened it to reveal Carol.
"Hey Carol." Lois said.
"Hi Lois." Carol replied.
Carol walked in the house and saw Emily.
"Hello, I haven't seen you before." Carol said.
"Hi, I'm Emily." Emily introduced.
"Nice to meet you." Carol said.
"Emily is my new daughter." Lois explained.
"New daughter?" Carol asked in surprise.
"It's a long story that'll waste so much minutes on this episode." Emily said.
"Emily, this is Carol, my sister." Lois said. "Well, actually more like your step-aunt."
Emily smiled at Carol.
"Well, pleasure to see you." Emily said.
"And she wears adult diapers 24/7." Stewie said as he scratched himself.
"Stewie!" Emily scolded.
"Come on," Stewie said. "She has to know because she's your aunt."
"Is that true?" Carol asked.
"Yes, it's true." Emily answered.
"Emily has a condition where she can't control her urinary and fecal movement." Lois said.
"That's terrible!" Carol said.
"I know." Emily said as she lifted her skirt exposing her undergarment. "That's the exact reason I had to wear these."
Carol had a sympathetic look on her face.
"So, yeah." Emily said. "I won't be getting out of these."
Carol gave Emily a comforting hug.
"So sorry to hear that." Carol whispered.
Emily hugged Carol back.
The doorbell rang again.
"Excuse me..." Emily said as Carol let go of Emily.
Emily walked up to the door and answered it to find Quagmire.
"Hey Emily." Quagmire said. "Merry Christmas."
"Merry Christmas to you too, Quagmire." Emily said as she let Quagmire in.
"Well, look at you." Quagmire said to Stewie. "Don't you look cozy in that sweater."
"I'm not feeling cozy!" Stewie snapped. "I'm itchy! I hate Christmas sweaters."
Quagmire walked up to Peter and gave him a box in wrapping paper.
"Merry Christmas, Peter." Quagmire said.
"I hope it's not fruitcakes..." Peter said. "This house has already too much."
Peter opens the present to reveal a Sega Genesis.
"Oh my God..." Peter said in amazement. "A Sega Genesis!"
"Thanks, Quagmire!" Peter thanked.
"I haven't had one since I got one in 1992." Peter said
CUTAWAY
In 1992, a young Peter is at the video game store. He is excited to get a Sega Genesis.
"Oh my God! A Sega Genesis!" Peter exclaimed. "I wonder if it could play games with my peanut butter and jelly."
We cut to him at home with the Sega Genesis.
"Now to play PB&J." Peter said.
Peter poured peanut butter and strawberry jelly into the console. The console shot some sparks and turned off. Peter cried in disappointment.
CUTAWAY ENDS
The doorbell rang again. Emily answered the door to see Cleveland and his family.
"Hey y'all!" Cleveland exclaimed. "Merry Christmas!"
"Merry Christmas! Come on in!" Emily said.
Rallo noticed Stewie in just a sweater, a diaper and a headband with antlers.
"What's with the getup?" Rallo asked.
"My half-sister and mother had me wear these." Stewie answered.
"Oh... That makes sense." Rallo said. "At least my sweaters are made of cotton."
"Lucky." Stewie mumbled.
"Cleveland! Glad that you could make it!" Peter said.
"Merry Christmas, Peter." Cleveland said.
"I got you something by the way." Peter said as he handed Cleveland a present.
Cleveland opened it to reveal an old fashioned beer mug.
"Sweet! Thanks, Peter!" Cleveland shouted.
"No problem buddy." Peter said.
The doorbell rang again, Peter answers it to find Joyce Kinney.
"Oh, hey Joyce." Peter greeted.
"Hello Peter," Joyce said. "How's my niece doing here living with her real father?"
"She's doing great! She loves it here." Peter replied. "Come inside."
"Hey Emmy." Joyce said.
"Hey Aunt Joyce." Emily said as she hugged Joyce.
"How was it living here so far?" Joyce asked.
"It's wonderful. I love living with my new family." Emily answered.
"Hey Emily, I just got the dinner preparations ready and-" Lois said.
She gasped as soon as she saw Joyce.
"Oh, hello Lois." Joyce said blankly.
"Hello Joyce." Lois said through gritted teeth.
"Still proud of your dignity?" Joyce asked.
"Yes. But I'm still mad at you for almost ruining my reputation at church!" Lois said.
"I had to get back at you somehow." Joyce said. "You did humiliate me at high school."
"You should at least get over it." Emily said. "It was all in the past. My real mom kept telling you that before you heard that she died in a car accident caused by drunk frat boys which left me incontinent."
Emily gasped as she realized that she revealed her secret in front of her aunt.
"Oh my God...Emily...is that true?" Joyce asked in complete shock. "You're incontinent?"
"Yes..." Emily confessed as she lifted her skirt to reveal her undergarment.
"Why didn't you tell me about this?" Joyce asked.
"I wasn't sure how you would take it." Emily said.
"Though the situation isn't about me." Emily stated.
"If it's about Lois, I can't say that Lois didn't deserve my payback." Joyce said.
"She had enough payback already." Emily said.
Joyce and Lois glared at each other. Emily rubbed her eye bridge. "This is getting harder than it looks..." she said to herself.
"Not as hard as taking off this itchy sweater." Stewie said. "Can you get this off already?!"
"Not now, Stewie." Emily said back.
Joyce and Lois were still angry at each other and Emily was trying to think of a way for them to make amends.
"Oh, what to do? What to do?" Emily asked herself as she tried to think of a solution.
"Perhaps I could help." Brian said as he walked up to Emily.
"How?" Emily asked.
"Maybe you should focus on their positive vibes." Brian suggested.
"Positive vibes..." Emily said as she started brainstorming.
Inside Emily's brain, an office board meeting was going on.
"Alright," The head executive said. "We're getting a brain storm here, anyone got any 'positive vibe' suggestions?"
The executives all looked in their files. They opened their folders to look for any 'positive vibes'.
"Can each of you tell me your suggestions?" The head executive asked.
"What about how Lois raised Emily?" One executive asked.
"Or maybe how Joyce Kinney does her report to bring awareness for the poor kids?" Another executive asked.
"Those are good ones." The head executive said. "Do either of you have any more?"
"What about having her film herself for porn like Lois did?" The third executive asked.
"NO!" The head executive shouted. "We're not doing that, Need I remind you about the condition? It wasn't the same since we lost the employees for the urinary and fecal shift."
"Yeah? What is wrong with you, Phil?" The executive who sat next to the third one asked.
"Sorry." Phil said as he looked down in shame.
"Try and think of something else." The head executive said. "Those other two are good though. Let's go with those ones."
Then, Emily thought of something and turned to Brian.
"I think I got it, Brian." Emily said. "It just might work..."
Emily turned to Joyce and Lois.
"Aunt Joyce, didn't you do your report to bring awareness for the poor kids?" Emily asked.
"I did." Joyce replied. "I spread the awareness to gain support for those poor unfortunate souls..."
"And I did get involved by donating..." Lois said.
"Not that we need it from you..." Joyce muttered to Lois.
Lois felt offended by Joyce's comment.
"I was trying to be generous so the negative side of me can be forever forgotten." Lois retorted. "And you couldn't let go of the past reminding everyone who I was, and you should've seen the perspectives of my life."
"Plus, ever since Emily arrived here, I have done a good job raising her." Lois added.
"And how so?" Joyce asked. "Treating her like Cinderella's step-mother?"
"She never does that to me." Emily said.
"I treat her like she's my own daughter." Lois stated.
"And she couldn't help what she did." Emily added. "She may have valid reasons for her behavior, I mean, everyone does. But from what I've experienced by living with her and learning though her past times, was that she used to live with a snooty father who only cares about the pleasures of being rich."
"I resent that." Carter said.
"Lois did those things because she wanted to know how it felt to be free and happy." Emily said. "And I'm sure she did those because she wanted to rebel her life as a Pewterschmidt. Plus, she has a daughter named Meg, and she has been treated like you when you were back in high school. I'm making sure that my sister won't end up becoming the next you who won't let go of her past."
"I know Lois Griffin isn't my real mother," Emily added. "But she treats me like a great mom, and don't you forget it. She has helped me with the situations I've been through."
Joyce took a few moments to think about what Emily said.
'Maybe Emily is right...' Joyce thought.
"This is what I've been going through over the years..." Lois said.
Joyce looked at Lois with a sympathetic look on her face.
"I'm starting to think you had more reason than I thought." Joyce said.
"Well, that's what I've been saying to you when I found out that we've known each other at high school." Lois replied.
Emily smelt something coming from the kitchen.
"I hate to break the conversation," Emily said. "But isn't there something important that you must do in the kitchen?"
"Oh my God!" Lois yelled as she ran into the kitchen.
Lois opened the oven and smoke shot out.
"Oh God..." Lois said. "I hope our ham is alright."
Lois covered her hand with the oven mitt and pulled the ham out of the oven. The ham looked just fine. Just then, the water sprinkler turned on.
"Oh no! Someone, turn the water sprinkler off!" Lois shouted.
"Oh boy! A huge shower!" Stewie shouted excitedly. "Hope this soothes the itches."
Unfortunately, Meg turned off the water sprinkler.
"No no no!" Stewie yelled.
Lois walked back to the living room.
"Now, where were we?" Lois asked.
"Helping me get this sweater off of me?" Stewie said.
Lois looked at Joyce.
"Joyce, I know that I was mean to you in high school, but I think that we should put the past behind us." Lois said.
Lois formed a small smile on her face.
"So, what do you say, Joyce?" Lois asked as she extended her hand. "Friends?"
Joyce took Lois's hand and shook it.
"Friends." Joyce said as she smiled.
She turned her head to see her step-nephew, Stewie in a Christmas sweater while wearing a reindeer headband and a red ball on his nose.
"Do you suppose I could get out of this ridiculous sweater now?" Stewie asked.
Just then, his diaper started to sag due to the water from the sprinklers.
"Oh my God, he's so cute!" Joyce exclaimed.
"And itchy." Stewie added.
"That's Stewie, your step-nephew." Emily said.
"I've seen him before." Joyce said. "He was there when I met Lois years before you moved in."
"Fancy that you remembered." Stewie said. "But you're ignoring the fact I'm itchy here! Seriously Emily, why are you not listening?"
"Mom, Stewie sounds a little cranky. I'm going to see what the problem is." Emily said as she took Stewie and walked upstairs.
"Stewie, why do you always complain about the sweaters?" Emily asked. "You know you look cute in it."
"Do I even care about being cute?" Stewie asked sternly.
"Alright Stewie, if the sweater really bothers you, I'll give you something more comfortable to wear." Emily said.
"Finally..." Stewie said. "Also, that sprinkler system downstairs got me soaked and my diaper's sagging down."
"Oh, don't worry. I can fix that." Emily said as they entered Stewie's room.
Emily placed Stewie on the changing table and removed the sweater. Emily gasped. There were a bunch of red marks on Stewie's chest and stomach.
"Wow..." Emily said. "I never seen so much rug burns on you."
"These aren't rug burns! These are rashes I developed from that poison ivy cursed sweater!" Stewie shouted.
"It's actually made of wool." Emily said as she walked to a closet and took out some ointment.
She walked up to Stewie and squirted some ointment into her hand.
"Now, hold still." Emily advised.
"It itches so much..." Stewie murmured.
"Don't worry, Stewie. The rashes will go away soon." Emily assured as she rubbed the ointment on Stewie's chest.
"Man, I hate itchy sweaters..." Stewie said. "Worse than scorpions in my pants."
Emily was finished putting some ointment on Stewie's chest and stomach.
"Done! Now, let's get that diaper changed as we wait for the ointment to sink into your skin." Emily said.
"At least I didn't use it… yet." Stewie said.
Emily took off the diaper that Stewie was wearing and got a new one.
"Let's get this on you now." Emily said before putting the new diaper on Stewie.
"There we go. Now, let me go get something for you to wear." Emily said.
"Please let it be not itchy." Stewie said as he closed his eyes.
Emily got a shirt from the closet and slipped the shirt onto Stewie. Stewie opened his eyes to find himself in an elf shirt. Stewie sighed in relief.
"That's more like it..." Stewie said.
Back downstairs, everyone was conversing with each other. Meg noticed Cookie Monster at the window. Meg drew the curtains at the window.
"Aw, come on!" Cookie Monster complained behind the blinds.
Lois saw Emily coming downstairs with Stewie.
"Emily, can you help with me something in the kitchen?" Lois asked.
"Sure, mom." Emily said.
She walked up to Joyce and gave Stewie to her.
"What happened to your sweater?" Joyce asked.
"It was too itchy for me, so Emily put me in this shirt." Stewie answered.
Emily walked into the kitchen.
"What is it, Mom?" Emily asked.
"Could you help me put the food on the dining table? The Christmas dinner is almost ready." Lois said.
"Sure." Emily said.
She saw that Peter was about to take one of the cookies.
"Dad! No! You know the rules! Dinner, then dessert!" Emily scolded.
"Aww... you're no fun." Peter pouted.
"Could you please tell everyone to sit at the dining room table? It's almost time for Christmas dinner." Emily said.
"Fine..." Peter said.
He grabbed a large drumstick and banged a gong. Everyone heard it and walked to the dining room.
"Where did you get that gong?" Brian asked.
"I stole it from a Chinese restaurant." Peter answered.
CUTAWAY
At the Chinese restaurant, the cook walked up to the cooking table and found that the gong was gone.
"Where the hell is my gong?!" The cook shouted with rage.
CUTAWAY ENDS
At the Griffin house, everyone was sitting at the dining room table.
"I'm glad everyone's here." Lois stated.
"Me too, mom." Emily said.
"So, who wants to carve the turkey?" Peter asked.
"I will!" Chris said.
However, Chris grabbed the knife by holding the blade.
"Ow!" Chris shouted in pain.
"Chris, I warned you to hold the handle." Lois said sternly.
"It hurts so much!" Chris whined.
Lois sighed and looked at the knife.
"Ugh... there's blood on the knife." Lois said with worry and disgust.
"Don't worry, I'll wash it off." Brian said.
Brian took the knife and walked to the kitchen. He washed the blood off the knife in the sink. Brian came back with the knife all clean. After he gave it back to Lois, Lois carved the turkey. Then, she put a piece of turkey on everyone's plate.
"This looks delicious." Cleveland commented.
"Thanks, Cleveland." Lois thanked.
"Pity Joe won't be joining us..." Quagmire said.
"I wonder how he's doing there." Peter said.
CUTAWAY
At Alaska, Joe is spending the holiday with his family. However, Joe and his family are trapped in a cabin due to a massive snowstorm.
"So this is what the Alaskan frontier is like." Joe said.
CUTAWAY ENDS
Back at the Griffin house where everyone is eating.
"Everyone enjoying the dinner so far?" Peter asked.
"Absolutely." Quagmire answered.
"Delicious." Joyce commented.
"I'll say." Cleveland said.
Everyone else agreed.
"Anyone ready for dessert?" Lois asked.
"I am!" Peter answered.
Lois brought the desserts to the table. Everyone began feasting on the desserts.
A few hours later, the Christmas party was over. The Griffins were saying goodbye to their friends and family.
"Thank you for coming." Lois said as she hugged her parents.
"No problem." Barbara said as she and Carter left.
"Thanks for coming, Glenn." Lois said to Quagmire.
"No problem." Quagmire said. "And thanks for letting me take some leftovers."
"You're welcome." Lois said as Quagmire walked over to his house.
"Thank you so much for coming, Cleveland." Peter thanked.
"No problem, Peter." Cleveland said before walking back to his house with his family.
Joyce walked up to Lois.
"Joyce," Lois said. "I am truly very sorry for my actions, why don't we just forget all about it and call it a truce?"
"Sure." Joyce said.
Joyce and Lois hugged each other.
"Glad you finally got along." Emily stated.
Joyce left and Lois closed the door.
"That was a fun Christmas party!" Emily commented.
"Even though it felt way too early." Brian said.
"Why do you say that?" Stewie asked.
"It's mid-December." Brian answered.
"So? It's still Christmas time." Emily said.
"That is true." Brian said.
Emily turned to the readers.
"Well, Merry Christmas everybody!" Emily said joyfully.
"I hope you viewers are enjoying the holidays, whichever one you celebrate, Christmas, Kwanza, Hanukkah." Emily added.
Emily started singing 'We Wish You a Merry Christmas'. Soon, the whole family joined her. As they sang, the camera slowly zoomed out of the house though the window.
A/N: That was Episode 6 of Family Guy EG! Hope you liked this chapter! See you next chapter! Merry Christmas! Please review!