A/N: I had to split this once again, so this is Part I of... 2 or 3, I'm not sure. *sigh*

The PoV switches rather often in this/these chapters and we get to see a lot of smaller occurences.

As always, thank you so much for your reviews, every one of them! And have fun reading! :)

Both Sides I

Hiccup

Hiccup stood in the middle of the corridor and stared ahead without really seeing anything. This day got worse and worse and all he seemed to be able to do about it was watching helplessly. He had hoped that after reuniting Elisabeth with her mother, he would get a break, that they would get a break! He had hoped to get the chance to talk to Astrid even though he still wasn't sure what he wanted to tell her. He still couldn't believe that this girl should be his daughter, it just didn't make any sense. The more he thought about it the surer he was that if he really should be the father, Carina would have contacted him sooner. They had parted as friends and although he had no experiences of his own he figured it wasn't exactly easy to raise a child as a single parent. Gobber had always relied upon Astrid's mother as well but from what he knew by now, Elisabeth had no-one else who would care for her besides her mother. Why hadn't Carina contacted him earlier if not for the simple fact that she had no reason to contact him at all? No, he didn't believe to be a father, wouldn't believe it until he had any proof.

He had hoped to have some time until then. Heather had said she would need two days to get the results. Enough time to think about what he would do either way. How should he… could he proceed, whatever the outcome of Heather's test would be? In any case, he probably wouldn't be able to simply ignore what happened. Carina had been a friend, he couldn't deny this fact and if she needed help now, he wouldn't ignore her although her behavior had been more than dubious. Ignoring a friend in need… that just wasn't in him! Whatever happened though, he would need to talk to Carina as soon as she woke up, no matter how much he dreaded this conversation… She belonged to a part of his life he would rather forget and he'd hoped to be able to leave it all behind him after that episode a few weeks ago but now his stupidity had caught up with him once more. For in the end, only this conversation would bring any clarity into this mess.

For now, things had become only more confusing though. Astrid's offer to take Elisabeth in… Lissy! He reminded himself firmly. Accidentally calling her by her full name when he wasn't supposed to have heard it before… That would give away more than he was willing to. He would have to deal with her presence for some time now as he doubted Carina would be able to leave the hospital for a week or two at least. And apparently, the girl had no idea who he was. Or was supposed to be… Aside from the fact that he didn't want to bother Astrid with a problem, that probably wasn't even existing he wouldn't want to give Lissy any ideas or hopes as well.

Two days… he would only have to get through these two days and then, hopefully, he would know more, enough to know what to do. Two days! he thought with a humorless laughter. Well, he had been able to keep a secret for that long before…

"Mr. Haddock?" A voice suddenly startled him out of his contemplations and his eyes focused on the plump form of head nurse Margaret. The elderly woman looked at him in concern, though her fists rested impatiently on her hips.

"Yeah… Sorry, I'm coming" He mumbled and kept following her. She disappeared into her office again and when he entered it as well, she was searching the drawered of her desk, the receiver of her telephone stuck between her ear and shoulder. In a daze, Hiccup waited in the doorway while she talked to the person on the other side.

"Christy, dear, this is Margaret. How are you? – Ah, nice to hear that, and she's getting better? Fine, fine… - Listen, there's a man coming over to you in a few minutes to get the belongings of one… Carina Johnson. You had her in the ER a few hou- yeah, that's the one I'm talking about. You have her stuff ready? – Yes, I'll give him the correct documents, don't you worry! And just for your records, his name is Haddock, tall, brown hai- what? Yes, it's the Hiccup Haddock, dear Freya singing… - Oh, whatever, ask him yourself if you must… – Yeah, see you, bye" Disbelievingly, the elderly nurse shook her head and placed the receiver back in its place. Then she pulled out a sheet of paper and began to fill it out, mumbling incoherently to herself. Hiccup waited uncomfortably until she handed him the paper.

"Here, give this to my college in the ER. She'll know what to do. And as you've probably heard you have a fan down there, Mr. Haddock." She winked at him and he grimaced. That was just what he needed today… "She'll ask you tons of questions but feel free to ignore her. And that was an order, by the way. You look like ignoring her would be healthier today. How is this thing with your leg working out anyway? I've never seen anything like that and I've seen a lot in my life. Oh, and congratulations on your engagement, by the way. I read about it, I'm so happy for…" Hiccup's grimace turned into an involuntary but honest smile as the nurse kept on babbling. She and her staff here had known and helped him long before he'd become famous and he knew her congratulations were heartfelt. He would never forget how she'd allowed Astrid to stay with him long past visiting hours and often even through the night as she'd seen how well her presence did him. Being here in the ICU again wasn't as bad as he would have thought, really. Many happy memories belonged to this place even though almost all of them contained physical pain as well. But that was something he was able to deal with by now. And the people here reminded him of an easier and simpler time. At least compared with today…

"Thank you, Margaret!" he interrupted the nurse gently with a smile. "For everything! But I'd better go now and get this stuff. There's still a lot to do today…" he trailed off and the nurse nodded.

"Of course! I heard you two are going to take care of that girl. That so charitable of you! I know she'll be in good hands and told the youth social worker so as well. Please, relay my best wishes for your fiancee. I haven't seen her yet or I would have told her myself." Hiccup smiled once more and waved before he turned around and left the office.

Under normal circumstances, he would have loved to chat with the elderly nurse but today was anything but normal… Talking to her had lightened his mood, though. It had reminded him of how even the most dreadful of days would end eventually. Only two days and then he would know for sure…

Astrid

Astrid looked down at the sorry remains in front of them and couldn't help but feel a little hopeless. This was all they had been able to save out of Carina Johnson's car? There was the woman's purse, highly singed but intact, a torn and partly burned bag with the remains of clothes and a colorful trunk in the same state of destruction. The only piece that seemed to have made it out mostly unscathed was a small, light green children's backpack with a nameplate that read 'Elisabeth Johnson'.

"That's all that was left?" she asked out loud, discouraged and Hiccup nodded, a similar expression on his face as well. He kneeled down and reached for the nameplate, hand shaking, and she threw him a worried glance before she, too, kneeled down and reached for the backpack. "This is probably the only thing that's still of any use and certainly the most important right now anyway."

"Huh" Hiccup started with an annoyed expression on his face and got up again. "What makes you think so? Wouldn't we rather need… I don't know… Clothes or something?" he asked sarcastically while offering her his hand to help her up as well. A completely superfluous gesture but a kind one nonetheless. She looked up at him for a moment though, hesitating before taking his hand and eyed him thoughtfully. Sarcasm had always been a weapon for him and one he wielded with perfection. For him to use it now and on her… But no, it hadn't been directed at her, not really, the offered hand had made that clear. But why was he lashing out then, and at whom? Or at what? Well, she had a suspicion...

She took his offered hand and, when back on her feet, stretched to give him a peck on the cheek to let him know she wasn't upset. Hiccup turned his head at the last moment though, met her lips with his and used his hold on her hand to draw her closer toward him. It was a strange kiss, chaste with lips only, and yet she could feel the longing and desperation in it as those feeling found their echo deep inside her as well. She leaned against him heavily, tried to relay all her love for him through this kiss and the assurance that somehow everything would work out. Because, despite both their calm demeanor, she knew neither of them was okay right now. He still hadn't told her what upset him so she couldn't help him there but then there still hadn't been time to talk really. And her own worries were enough for now anyway…

Hiccup's arms around her tightened once more before he ended their kiss and pressed his forehead against hers instead, eyes screwed shut and breathing heavily. "I love you!" He gasped out but he sounded desperate. The tone of his voice made her heart shrink and her next breath came in almost as a hiccoughing sob. What was it today that made him desperate like this? Why couldn't he just tell her and be done with it? Did he really still feared he could scare her away with anything he did? Ah, but yes, of course, he did! And he probably would never stop doing so...

She lifted her hand and let it rest on his cheek while putting in a lot of effort into keeping it from trembling thereby. "I know!" she breathed. "And I love you, too. Nothing will ever change that, remember?" He made a strangled grunt at that and Astrid bit her lip at his ongoing hopelessness. Why didn't he simply tell her…

"Mr. Haddock? Ms. Hofferson?" sounded a voice from the corridor toward them and she took a reluctant step back before the door to this currently unused room opened. One of the younger nurses poked in her head, a relieved smile on her face when she spotted them. "Ah, here you are!" she exclaimed and Astrid dropped her head to hide her anxiety. Why couldn't they have just a few minutes to themselves, dammit? "The girl, Lissy… She asked after the two of you. She said she'd be ready to go?"

"Thank you, Maryse," Hiccup said and Astrid admired him once more for his ability to switch into this calm business mode in the blink of an eye. "We'll be there in a moment" The nurse nodded and disappeared into the corridor again.

Right… Lissy… Astrid thought with a grimace. Again, she'd almost forgotten the girl over Hiccup and his strange behavior today. She had to focus, it had been her idea to take care of her after all. Hiccup hadn't been all that happy about her offer, that much she'd noticed but now it was too late to take it back and he played along, grudgingly. So it was up to her now, to make this work and to keep up a tolerable good mood. Not the easiest task when all she wanted to do was to wrap herself in a blanket and hide in her bed…

Astrid took a deep breath and forced a smile on her face. "Well, clothes can be bought, or so I've heard," She said and tried to sound cheerful. She swung the small backpack over one shoulder and pulled Hiccup along toward the door. "Let's go and play mom and dad!" she added jokingly but Hiccup only grimaced.

Hiccup

Hiccup sighed, again, and followed Astrid and Elisabeth into yet another clothing store. If he was honest with himself it wasn't like they'd been in all that many already, only two, in fact, but it still felt like too much. But then, everything felt like too much for him right now…

Astrid had been right, in the end, the small green backpack seemed to be more important than most other things they could have retrieved of their belongings. Elisabeth had squealed when she'd spotted it in Astrid's hand, finally behaving like the child she was and had clutched it to her chest tightly.

"A bag like this contains all a child's treasures…" she'd explained, murmuring at his side while they'd both watched the girl. "The trunk was for her clothes and other things she needed. The backpack though? That's for the things she wanted to bring!" This was astonishingly logical and he'd thrown Astrid a surprised glance. She'd sounded dejected somehow, her happy front crumbling for a short time as she'd seemed to be caught is some memory or other. A moment later, she'd reached for his hand though, had interlaced her fingers with his and had forced the smile back on her face. He'd admired her for being able to do this, even though it had been painfully obvious to him that she, too, hadn't been as calm and happy as she tried to appear to be. It had taken him some time to get used to Elisabeth's… to Lissy's presence, to be able to function around her. The mere thought of who she might be was dizzying, to say the least, and he was still far from being able to act normal around her but at least he'd gotten accustomed enough to her presence that he'd begun to register other things besides his own thoughts again. Like Astrid's anxiety.

Something was bothering her as well but as with his own problem, there hadn't been time yet to talk about it. Gods, they needed to talk… But as it was, probably many hours would pass before they would get the chance to do so.

Luckily, Astrid wasn't that fond of clothes shopping under normal circumstances and although she showed far more enthusiasm now while they were sifting through the children's department, he hoped they wouldn't have to spend too much more time here. Because here meant the mall and a Monday afternoon wasn't exactly the best time to be in public for him. In fact, there was practically no good time for him to be in public these days anymore, but the afternoons surely were the worst… He registered the many curious looked they earned by other customers and the occasional salesgirl as well and groaned inwardly. But at least he seemed to look irritated enough so that for once no one had approached him. Yet.

He spotted Astrid between the clothes racks as she showed Lissy a few more shirts and the girl picked two of them, hesitantly. To him, Astrid's euphoria seemed off, too bright, too exaggerated, but then he knew her, knew that this was not her usual behavior. She tried too hard to be cheerful, for Lissy's sake probably but he saw how much it cost her.

He sat down near the fitting room and waited as he'd done in the other shops before. He wasn't really able to concentrate on anything trivial like clothes right now and had given up on trying to support their search for a few suitable outfits after the first attempts. Instead, he tried once more to sort through his thoughts and to reign in his mixed feeling.

It was a good thing that Lissy was so focused on Astrid. That way, he didn't need to interact directly with her all that much and could simply watch her for now. She obviously wasn't that fond of shopping either and only followed Astrid wherever she went. She was hesitant about the clothes as well, careful about how many she picked and he overheard more than once how Astrid reassured her it didn't matter how much they'd had to spend on them. This reminded him of Carina's demands, something he hadn't thought of all that much during the last hours. She'd wanted money, nothing more. It had angered him but now he wondered. Seeing how careful Lissy was… She probably wasn't used to buying more than was absolutely necessary.

After they'd choose the pieces they wanted to take, Hiccup went to wait in the huge line at the register while Astrid took Lissy to a shoe store. That would be the last point on their list, so soon they would finally be able to leave.

"What a cute girl," the saleswoman said casually when it was his turn and Hiccup suppressed a groan. He knew that tone by now. It could have been just polite small talk with a customer but there was this slightly nervous edge, indicating how excited she was. Because of him. And she was referring to Lissy, with whom he hadn't interacted at all while in this shop. He decided to not answer her.

"Was she your niece or something?" the woman tried anew and this time Hiccup couldn't hold back the grimace. Obviously, she knew who he was and that they weren't just another normal family so she probably also knew that neither he nor Astrid had any relatives to speak of. How on Midgard should she be his niece… But he also noticed the barely hidden, curious glances he got from the surrounding customers as well and decided to do some damage limitation. He so not wanted to read tomorrow's newspaper…

"She's the daughter of a friend." He said truthfully, loud enough for everyone around him to hear as well. Maybe that would keep the gossip at a minimum… The saleswoman blushed in embarrassment though which alone made it worth to have answered. Without another word, she packed the clothes into a plastic bag and soon thereafter, he left the shop and went to look for Astrid and Lissy.

He met them as planned near the big fountain at the mall's center and Astrid got up instantly to greet him with a quick kiss while the girl stared disbelievingly at her new sneakers. "Hey, you made it out there unscathed," she said cheerfully and winked at him. He looked at her for a moment, searched and found the traces of her anxiety but played along and made an effort to sound equally light.

"Yeah, but it was a hard fight. You should see the other ones, though." She rewarded him with a grateful smile and then turned to grab a shoebox that stood aside Lissy on the bench.

"Here, does this fit into one of these bags?" she asked and stepped toward him again, maybe even a little closer than was necessary, and he pulled open the biggest bag for her to stash the box inside it as well. "I'd like to go to the pharmacy to buy the painkillers Dr. C. advised us to get for her" Astrid said then in a low voice so that Lissy couldn't hear her. "Maybe you two could get us something for dinner and we meet at the car later?" she suggested and Hiccup tensed up inwardly. He had successfully avoided being alone with the girl so far but of course, he couldn't do so forever.

"Alright…" he agreed reluctantly. "Any preferences?". The question had been rhetorical, really, as he knew very well what she'd like best and so it actually surprised him when she shook her head, biting her lip thereby.

"I think Lissy should decide." She said reluctantly and he nodded. That actually was a good suggestion but he could see that she had something else on her mind as well. His gaze lingered on her for a moment longer, scrutinizing her and he frowned when she averted her eyes and began to fidget. But it was like a curse today, this was not a good time or place to talk. Again!

"Alright!" he said again and took a deep breath to prepare himself. He hadn't talked much to Lissy up until now and surely hadn't approached her on his own before. Answering her questions had been hard enough, really, but now he wouldn't be able to avoid it any longer. He felt Astrid's gaze upon him as he stepped past her and crouched down in front of the blond girl.

"Hey, Lissy!" he began, voice shaking slightly, and she looked up at him apprehensively. "So, Astrid has to run another errand, how about we go and fetch something to eat while she's busy? What would you like to have for dinner? You can choose whatever you want today" It felt so odd to casually talk to her. This morning he never would have dreamed of this situation, during the day the mere thought of her existence had haunted him and now… Now, her gaze wandered from him to Astrid behind him, came to rest on him again and she grinned, light eyes shining brightly.

"Can I have Pizza?" she asked hopefully and he chuckled. So Astrid would get what she wanted after all.

"Of course!" Hiccup answered with a small smile. "And I know exactly where we'll get it."

Astrid

Astrid watched Hiccup and Lissy as they made their way through the crowd toward the exit of the mall. Carlo's Pizzeria was just outside on the other side of the street, near to where they'd parked the car anyway. She had hoped, Lissy would ask after something else, something that would take them longer, something that would give her more time… Well, it had to be enough now. She just hoped there wouldn't be all that many people at the pharmacy. Because she would need all the privacy she could get, having them back early to check on her just wouldn't do…

Relief washed through her when she entered the pharmacy a few minutes later and found it almost empty. An old woman was about to pack her medicines into the bag on her walking frame and in a corner, two younger women were talking in front of the rack for dietary supplements. Astrid eyed them worriedly but decided she probably wouldn't have a choice. They didn't look like they would leave soon. The pharmacist that had served the older woman looked up at her and smiled.

"Good day!" She greeted her. "What can I do for you, Miss...? Ms. Hofferson is it, right?" Astrid held back a grimace and smiled instead. It was so odd to be recognized by strangers… But the woman on the other side of the counter seemed to be genuinely kind and not as nosy as many others. Astrid stepped closer and searched her purse for the small piece of paper Dr. C. had given her.

"Good day! I need some pills…" She trailed off until she finally found the paper. "Ah, here it is. Some painkillers, the doctor wrote down the name," she added and handed the paper to the pharmacist. She seemed confused, though, and gave her a strange look.

"Are you sure, this is the right one?" She asked puzzled. "These are for children under 12…?"

"I should hope so, they are for a nine-year-old girl" Astrid explained indignantly. Gods, having people know too much about her could be so annoying! She began to question her plan, considering to call it off but knew she couldn't do that. She needed…

"Oh!" the other woman made and Astrid tried to stay calm. Her patience for this day was about to run out, really… "Just a moment then, Ms. Hofferson. I'll get them." She disappeared into the backroom and Astrid sighed. Normally, this new attention she got didn't bothered her as much, but today was not a normal day. And this was not a normal shopping trip… She noticed how quiet it had become then. Had the other two woman left after all? Astrid turned slightly, not really looking at where they'd stood but it was enough. Out of the corner of her eye, she could still see them standing there. They'd just stopped talking. Great!

The pharmacist returned, a small box in her hand, and handed it to her. " Here it is. Do you need instructions on how to take them?"

"No, thanks," Astrid said. "We already got instructions in the hospital."

The other woman nodded. "Was that all you needed?" She asked and Astrid bit her lip. Now or never! There was something else she needed! But did she dare to ask for it? Once again, the utter silence in this room disturbed her. She knew the pharmacist would be bound to professional discretion but that didn't apply to those customers over there in their corner.

"Uhm…" Astrid hummed uncomfortably and discreetly indicated toward those other women, moving her eyes only. The pharmacist seemed to understand though and nodded slightly. With a "Wait a moment, please" she disappeared into the backroom again. A minute later, another, far older pharmacist appeared, walked past her with a slight nod and approached the two women, asking them if they needed any assistance and engaging them effectively into a conversation.

A relieved sigh escaped her and she even smiled a little to herself when shortly thereafter, the women excused themselves and left the pharmacy. Finally, she was alone with the pharmacists. Maybe she acted a little paranoid but if she'd learned one thing during the last year then I'd was that curious eyes and ears were everywhere! And this surely was one thing for once she did not want to be spread out in tomorrow's gossip columns!

"Works every time!" the elderly pharmacist said with a sigh. "Nothing scares away customers like the offer of a friendly consolation... So, Ms. Hofferson, what is it then you don't want anyone to know you need it?"

Fifteen minutes later, Astrid left the pharmacy and made her way through the mall toward the exit and Carlo's Pizzeria. Instead of two small boxes, there were now three in her purse, thanks to the old pharmacist consultation but she didn't dare to think too much about those. Not today anymore, at least.

Hiccup

"Ah, Hiccup, my boy!" thundered a deep voice through the restaurant and Hiccup turned toward its source, a bulky man with an almost bald head and a mustache.

"Carlo!" Hiccup greeted him with a grin and the two men clasped hands. It was impossible not to like him. On many occasions, Hiccup silently laughed about how much Carlo looked like the cliché of a pizza baker though today was not one of them.

"I thought I would find you here." Carlo continued. "Pizza con prosciutto e tonno? There is only one person who would order this. Where is my beautiful Astrid anyway?" It was a routine, an in-joke of theirs. Carlo would call Astrid his beautiful and Hiccup would remind the bulky man, that she was his. But today was different. Today, he didn't dare to lay claim on her in any way.

"She's still running an errant" Hiccup explained and wondered, not for the first time, what Astrid had had in mind. Why wouldn't she want to take Lissy to the pharmacy? They both had seen how well-versed the girl had been in the hospital, surely a pharmacy wouldn't scare her in the least. No, that had been just a pretense, he was sure of it. But what could it be she wanted to do instead? Well, he trusted her. She would tell him eventually, he was sure of that. "She'll come here when she's done" he added and wanted to scold himself for the gloomy tone of his voice.

Carlo studied him for a moment and as so often he saw more than Hiccup would want anyone to see. "Trouble, eh? Ah, but I'm sure it's nothing a romantic dinner can't fix. I'll tell the girls to prepare your usual table in the back and you can talk it over. How does that sound?"

"Huh… That sounds perfect…" Hiccup mumbled with a grimace. He would love to do just that, to have a quiet hour with her, without any distractions! Carlo and his employees would make sure that no one would bother them… But of course, that was impossible… "But not today!" He added reluctantly. "I'm here for takeaways only. We have a guest." With these words, he gestured toward Lissy, who sat on one of the tables near the entrance. Soon after they'd arrived at Carlo's, she had settled there, had taken out a worn out pencil case and a sketch-pad out of her backpack and had begun to doodle. On their way here, he'd felt obliged to do some small talk but had soon ended up too self-conscious to ask any more questions when she clearly wasn't that talkative herself. And asking after her school, her friends, her hobbies or even her birthday had seemed wrong to him. Of course, those might be harmless questions but to him, they tasted too much like an interrogation of some sort. The rest of their way they'd spend in mutual silence and he'd actually been glad when she'd retreated to that table and had seemed genuinely content with her scribbling. Because this at least was something he could relate to all too well. He knew how calming and satisfying it could be to concentrate on one's drawings only and forget everything else.

"Now, that's a surprise!" Carlo muttered and stepped toward Lissy's table. "And who are you, signorina?" he addressed the girl with the most gentle voice Hiccup had ever heard him use. Lissy, however, flinched nonetheless and turned toward the bulky man abruptly. She blinked at him in confusion and then looked around the room as if she'd forgotten where she was. When her gaze landed on him, Hiccup gave her an encouraging smile which she returned a moment later. He walked over to her table as well, while Lissy turned to Carlo again.

"I'm Lissy" she stated calmly though Hiccup noticed how she almost by chance placed her small hand on the paper and pushed it aside. "Astrid's taking care of me while my mom is in the hospital." She explained matter-of-factly and once again Hiccup was surprised by her levelheadedness. Shouldn't a situation like this disturb her more? But she just sat there and talked about her injured mother and about how complete strangers were taking her in like it was nothing out of the ordinary.

He wasn't really following their conversation thereafter as his mind began to wander again. Not for the first time, he wondered about how unlike a child of her age she acted, really. She was too calm, too sober with everything that had happened to her today. He hadn't seen or thought about Carina in ten years but her letter had stirred up his emotions in so many ways and seeing her lying on that hospital bed, it had been a shock to him! But Lissy hadn't been disturbed at all. Or if so, then she'd been very good at hiding her emotions. Her sober, almost clinical behavior… Somehow it reminde-

"You really are one fascination girl, signorina Lissy." Carlo's voice suddenly distracted him from his thoughts and Hiccup let them slip. He hadn't liked the direction they went anyway. "But you have to excuse me now, your pizza won't bake itself. Until the next time" He waved over his shoulder and disappeared into the kitchen again. Lissy looked after him for a moment, and although Hiccup couldn't see her face, she seemed thoughtful.

"He's a nice man!" she stated a moment later and turned her attention back to her sketch-pad. Hiccup smirked slightly but decided to not comment on her estimation. It was a right one, of course, but she'd barely talked to him for more than two minutes. Instead, he let his gaze drop over her shoulder and onto the paper in front of her – and stopped short. He wasn't really sure what he'd expected to see. He wasn't experienced with the usual drawing skill of a nine-year-old girl, but he had thought of flowers or other forms, of imprecise sketches of animals or maybe some comic characters. But he surely hadn't expected a precise image of the flower vase and the condiments that stood in front of her in the middle of the table. Her drawing lacked a certain know-how, her technique was imprecise and callow but her talent was undeniable. The proportions and angles were almost perfect and although she'd only began to add shadows and other details he already could tell that she had a good eye for these things. And he could tell because he had a good eye for these things as well.

Hiccup turned away, biting his lip and took a deep breath. Surely, that was just a coincident. Hadn't Carina been good at drawing as well? He wasn't sure anymore, didn't remember as much about her, really. But this didn't mean anything, it couldn't… He sat down at one of the high chairs at the counter and wished more than ever before he could order a drink, some alcohol to calm down his thoughts. He had never been that fond of drinking but he'd appreciated its ability to numb his sometimes overactive mind for a while. He wished he could just stop thinking, just for a while, could stop the same thoughts from turning around and around in circles inside his head.

She wasn't his daughter. She couldn't be his daughter. Oh, please, Freya, don't let her be his daughter! Because if she really was… What would that mean? He couldn't see himself with Carina again, couldn't imagine acting out being a family. That would do neither of them justice anyway. And what about Astrid? She had never judged him, not once although she knew of all his guilt and failures. She even knew about Carina, although he'd never mentioned her name. But having a history was one thing, they'd both accepted each other's past. They both had done things they weren't proud of but those belonged to days long gone and didn't affect them anymore. Lissy though? If she really was his daughter than she would affect his life, nothing could change that. He loved Astrid more than his life and she had assured him that she felt the same. But could she accept the sudden appearance of one or maybe even two other persons in their lives? Their ways had been connected right from the beginning but only now were they about to begin their shared journey through life. They hadn't made any big plans yet, life was unpredictable anyway, but surely this was not what she'd bargained for. Of course, it happened that people accepted their partner's kids into their lives as well but in those cases, these people normally knew about those kids before they made any commitments. Astrid was strong, the strongest person he knew but even she couldn't endure everything. Maybe he should call their engagement off, set her free to choose without any ties. Maybe she would choose him again, even with this caught up past. But he knew, he wouldn't have the strength to do that. Astrid was his strength, his light, his home. Without her… No, he couldn't even think about it. Those thoughts only led down a dark, dark road in his heart and he wasn't sure he would ever have the strength to leave this street once more if he ever were to set a foot on it again. Oh, please, Freya, don't let her be his daughter!

Astrid

When Astrid reached Carlo's Pizzeria, she paused before she opened the door to compose herself. She was afraid. It didn't happen often that she felt that way and it was even rarer for her to admit it to herself. But now, she was afraid. She was afraid of the future, of how their lives would continue after the next few days.

But those were problems she wouldn't be able to solve now. Maybe there weren't even any problem, maybe she was wrong. Maybe she worried for nothing.

She wrapped her arms around herself and kept telling herself this until she had calmed down enough to function again. She put a smile on her lips and tried to banish the anxiety out of her eyes before she opened the heavy wooden door and entered. The scent of freshly made pizza waved over her and instantly, her mood lightened. It was a scent she connected with so many happy memories, with laughter and fun. And with Hiccup. Always with Hiccup. He was all she needed, he was home. Somehow, everything would work out…

When she entered the main room a moment later, the scene in front of her confused her for a moment. Three white boxes lay on the counter and the familiar face of Carlo Cesario greeted her as the man approached her, arms open for one of his bear hugs. He said something but his words didn't register in her mind while she returned his friendly affection reflexively. Her eyes wandered through the room, though, and soon found what they were looking for.

Hiccup sat at the counter, something he usually never did and stared down at the polished surface. He seemed to be lost in his thoughts again and not in a good way, tensed up all over. Seeing him like this hurt, but first, she needed… Her gaze wandered on and she found Lissy at the table to her right, scribbling contently and humming to herself. She seemed to be alright for now.

Astrid freed herself out of Carlo's arms and, with an apologetic smile, walked past him toward the counter. Without a moment's hesitation, she wrapped her arms around Hiccup's torso and pressed her cheek against his back, inhaling deeply. He was all she needed…

She felt him relax beneath her touch and heard him exhale before he stirred and turned around. A moment later, his arms were around her, too, and Astrid relaxed as well. Everything would work out… somehow…

They stood like this for several seconds but then Carlo cleared his throat and they parted reluctantly. "Glad to see you're not really fighting." The bulky man muttered grinning and nodded toward Lissy. "But in case you've forgotten…" Right… Astrid reprimanded herself once again. Lissy…

"Right…" Hiccup exhaled. "Did you get what you needed?" He asked and she saw in his eyes that he suspected something. Well, it wasn't like she was keeping something from him on purpose… She just needed a little more time…

"Yeah, I got everything. Let go home!" She felt so tired. This had been such a strange and long day but she knew they would still have several hours in front of them as it wasn't really that late yet.

Hiccup's eyes softened and he gave her a strange look, full of longing and sadness.

"Yeah" he breathed. "Home…"

To L: Thank you, for everything! ;)