Part II
Chapter 46
Kagura stared down in wonder at her mentor, Kurosawa-sensei sleeping peacefully in her bed now, her light breathing providing the only real sound in the apartment.
...yeah, at least this is ok. She does look a lot better.
Her coach had been easy to carry across the room, the woman being quite thin and light, and it was intriguing to Kagura as to how someone of her size could get so much athletic prowess from such a slender body. Today had been the first occasion in which she had ever really held her up in any sort of way, let alone lift in her arms, and it gave Kagura this new, visceral impression of the woman. She had always seen her as someone who had this large, imposing authority about her, but now, her old teacher just seemed far meeker than that ideal.
However, of course, that fresh perspective of how tenuous Kurosawa-sensei had become to her was formed by more than just her slight frame.
Kagura crossed her arms over her chest, a finger tapping against a bicep as she pondered.
Now what am I supposed to do with you, coach? ...ha, I keep saying 'coach', but...I dunno'. It just seems like...like that name just doesn't make me seem as close to you as it used to...
She turned around, heading towards the couch, picking up Kurosawa-sensei's discarded phone along the way. After sitting down, she then examined the item in her hand, turning it on. To her dismay though, a lock screen requesting a password popped up.
"Bleh."
With a grumble, she set the device down next to her.
...well, even if I did get Yukari's number, it probably isn't the best idea to just call her out of the blue. No idea how she'd react to one of her old students getting involved in any of this. Not sure what the hell I'd say to her anyway, but, argh, I just wanna' fix this...
Kagura shook her head, her eyes squaring back to her slumbering mentor.
Man...coach...what the heck did you get yourself into? I still don't get half of what you told me...
The whirlpool of a tale that was currently inside of her head began to swirl about with even more turbulence then. For around twenty or so minutes beforehand, Kagura had patiently listened to her coach's fractured disclosure of yesterday's events, after the woman had initially admitted that she was in love with her old friend, Yukari Tanizaki. And while she had tried to truly grasp onto every word that Kurosawa-sensei had spoken to her, the whole of it had still been so difficult to comprehend. Her speech had remained quite broken, disjointed in its explanations, solemn and quiet, and so attempting to make proper sense of it had greatly taxed Kagura's cognitive abilities.
There was one thing, however, that she had quite clearly understood: Minamo Kurosawa wasn't actually into men. She was a lesbian, and apparently had been harboring her affections for Yukari for what seemed like a very long while. But, even though that revelation had been a surprising one to Kagura, it had easily been the most digestible of everything that she had heard or experienced from this woman today. At the end of it all, Kagura didn't really care who her mentor loved, guy or gal, just so long as she was happy with her decision. Convincing Kurosawa-sensei of that fact had taken some real effort on her own part, but she believed that she had suppressed any fears the woman had in regards to exposing the reality of herself to her.
However, as to the matter of dealing with the nature of that anxiety...
...gotta' think.
She closed her eyes and laid her head back against the couch, suddenly finding herself strangely tired. Dealing with drama wasn't something that she was particularly good at, so there was a hefty amount of mental fatigue that she was now having to wrestle with. A mountain of questions still needed to be answered by her coach, and just as many details ironed out, before Kagura felt that she could begin to help this woman in any real way.
Has she just always been like this? Maybe she's...always really been kinda' nuts? I dunno'. I'm just gonna' have to wait it out for now. Dammit'...
At the end of her story, Kurosawa-sensei had begun to appear quite unbalanced, teetering back and forth upon the carpet. Kagura had then learned that the woman hadn't slept in a few days, supposedly due to severe nervousness about her upcoming confession at the time. That in itself had explained much about her haggard appearance, so Kagura had immediately picked her up and placed her into her bed. Within the span of a few seconds, her coach had gone out like a light.
Yeah, crap, dunno', dunno'. But, yeah, at least she's ok for now. She seems fine. Don't know when she'll wake up, but hopefully she can talk better when she does. But right now, I guess I can try and just think about my next move.
She blew out a frustrated breath, making herself comfortable upon the couch, and relaxed as her mind began the arduous task of untangling the mess that she had just been witness to.
...
Alright...I think...that I'm even more confused now than before she told me what happened yesterday.
I couldn't get most of it. She was just all over the frickin' place. But, let's think this through slowly...
...that's what coach always used to tell me to do, anyway, when I didn't get something.
...
Ok, so they went out to dinner. That's the first thing she said.
Something about keys, and then a movie.
They were watching it together, but she didn't get her chance to tell her that she liked her. Why not? I didn't get it. She said she felt sick.
And that Yukari wanted people to die? Ok, whatever...then Yukari fell asleep from drinking.
That's when coach said that 'one thing led to another', whatever the heck that means.
I was really lost there...but somehow it ended up with her trying to kiss her.
But why did she even try? I thought she was scared enough by just trying to tell Yukari her feelings, and then she tries something like that?
...
I dunno'. Maybe she was desperate. I don't get love. Maybe that's just how it is.
Oh, but she kept saying that's what Yukari 'wanted' her to do.
Ugh, that didn't make any sense. She was rambling. It seriously almost sounded like she was blaming Yukari for everything.
And somehow Yukari wasn't asleep, or she was, or not...argh, I dunno'. That part really hurt my head.
Then she left because she was super pissed, because coach tried to kiss her, I guess.
Does Yukari not like gay people? I guess that could be part of it.
But if coach never told her about herself, and then tried to make a move...I guess I'd be kinda' freaked out if someone I knew tried that, too.
I wouldn't be angry, though. Maybe she was just wierded out?
Just feels like coach isn't telling me everything yet.
That's all that I really got for now, anyway, before she went to sleep.
...
Man...
Yeah, I'm still in the dark about a lot of things here. Maybe I'm just not a good listener...but...
...it was so hard to get what she was sayin'. She just sounded plain nuts.
Well...not as nuts as before she got 'that' out, though...
...when she said that she was in love with Yukari.
I think just getting that out made her feel better...
...which is actually the thing that confuses me the most.
I mean, ok, I always thought she liked guys. That's what she made it seem like anyway.
Then again...every time the topic about boyfriends and stuff came up, she seemed to act pretty strangely.
So, after what she just told me though, she's a lesbian. So, she likes women.
But...
...see...
...that's what I don't get.
Ok, so she's gay. Why does that make her freak out like this so much?
It's not like she's doing something illegal, right? Pretty sure it's not illegal in our country. I mean, seriously, she's acting like she's been keeping a murder under wraps or somethin'.
That's what I really don't get: why she's acting so damn scared about all this?
She also said I'm the first person that she's ever told that she was gay, but how can that be?
There must have been someone else she could have talked to before, especially if this was all driving her crazy. Does she just not want anyone, that she knows really well, to find out about her? I guess that makes sense.
I mean, I've always felt close to coach, but I'm not like her family or some old friend or whatever.
...ok, yeah, maybe she's scared of them knowing. Maybe they'll think she's weird or whatever and she can't deal with that.
Actually...I don't know if the school would tolerate her that well either, if they found out. Not just the kids but the faculty and stuff...I guess that could be scary.
But man, to be this friggin' terrified about it all? No way. I don't think anyone who's that scared would act like she just did.
Like...just flat out insane, and saying crazy stuff, like she was on drugs. It's just bizarre, and completely different from the sensei I know.
Screamin' and just acting plain nuts. That's...ha, that's really more like Yukari.
Why the hell do you like her anyway, coach? That's another mystery. How could anyone fall in love with that screwball...
...
...ok, wait, just focus. What really matters here right now is why coach is acting insane. I still think there's more to this than her just being afraid of being found out.
She just always seemed so strong, so you would figure that she'd have no problem admitting she was gay.
Or...I just didn't know her as well as I thought I did.
And the only person who I could talk to, to learn more about my 'real' coach, is, ugh...Yukari.
That's probably not going to work out, especially since I remember the teachers saying she was pissed off yesterday for some reason.
Probably going to be pretty hard to talk to, if she's mad at coach.
But she's the only one who can really solve this, right? If they make up or something? I dunno'.
Hey...what if Yukari did something bad to her? What if she's threatening her or something with her secret now?
Dude, that would make a lot more sense! Yukari's always been kinda' mean...
...but not all the time. She's still nice, but...argh...
...
Ugh.
I don't really know what to do.
I don't get coach or Yukari, or really what's goin' on between them.
But, at least coach looks fine for right now...at least.
She's totally out cold. She must have been exhausted. That in itself would explain a lot of things.
She just freakin' tired.
Especially if she's been worried about all this stuff as well...
...
...ok.
I'll just watch her for now then, and if she starts acting crazy in her sleep or somethin', then I'll call a doctor no matter what she says.
She made me promise not to get one, but...that's another thing I don't get. She was so scared when I mentioned getting one.
Guess she doesn't want anyone else to find out about her, not even a damn doctor.
...
Ok, ok.
Coach said she wasn't on drugs or anything, so just trust her for now. I think that's all she really wants. Just someone to trust and talk to.
And that someone ended up being me...
But...
...I think in the long run, I might have to get someone else to help out here anyway, since she said she's not leaving the apartment or going to work.
She's that damn scared about seeing Yukari, and whether anyone else knows about her now. She doesn't want to go outside because of that.
I mean, she wanted me to practically kidnap Yukari and bring her back here so that she couldn't spill the beans. Come on...
...
...anyway, yeah, she can't just stay here. And there's no way I'm leaving her alone like this.
Some of the stuff she was saying earlier really freaked me out... I didn't like that at all.
...I think it's best, yeah.
Not like I'm super busy now, anyway. I mean, even if I was, I'd still ditch it all for coach.
I'll stick around. Yeah...
...that's all I can do for now.
Then, I'll think of what to do next while I'm here.
"...whoa..."
Kagura let out a large yawn, stretching her arms over her head. Her eyes were tingling, and she realized that she had just dozed off for a few moments.
She pushed herself off the couch, glancing towards the bed. Kurosawa-sensei was still fast asleep, and upon closer inspection, Kagura saw that her breathing was still perfectly fine. There really didn't appear to be anything physically wrong with her, besides how exhausted she looked, and that notion brought her some relief.
Yeah, she's ok. Don't worry. But, now, if I'm gonna' be staying here...
Kagaru pulled out her phone, dialing a number as she began to pace about the apartment.
"...yeah, Mom? It's me..."
It wasn't a long chat, Kagura simply informing her parent that she would be spending the night at a friend's house, requiring the car while she stayed over. Her mother explained that she didn't need the vehicle until tomorrow evening, so her daughter was free to use it for now.
Ok, that was easy. Next, I bette-
Her grumbling stomach finished the thought for her.
...guess I should get the address from outside. Oh, wait, nevermind!
Kagura went over to the dining table, some of Kurosawa-sensei's mail upon it. After gleaning the woman's address from one of the letters, she looked up a nearby ramen restaurant on her phone and then called them up, ordering a massive amount of takeout to be delivered to the apartment; she would humbly admit to anyone that her appetite was fairly insane, given her athletic lifestyle, and she knew full well that she'd destroy her coach's fridge if she let herself into it.
Yeah...would totally feel guilty if I cleaned her out, especially since I'm the one who's choosing to stay here. Plus, I didn't really eat anything after practice today, and hey, I haven't had take out in awhile, either! Anyway, ok...so how about clothes and stuff, then?
After another look at her mentor, Kagura decided that she could make due without any supplies from home. She really didn't want to leave the woman alone for now if she could help it, and if it came down to it, she could probably borrow something from her wardrobe to wear if she really needed.
She's a lot skinnier than me though, so that might not be so great. Eh, it's just one night. I can wear what I got on. Oh, hey, what if...?
The intention quickly left her as she recalled her promise to Kurosawa-sensei. For a second, Kagura had the idea of calling up one of her friends to bring some clothes over for her, but figured she'd then have to explain what she was doing at their former sensei's apartment. She could make up a reason of course, but realized that it might be better to keep anyone else out of the situation for now, especially if her coach happened to be awake at the time.
She went over to the woman's bed then, frowning down at her.
...maybe I'll talk to her about that when she gets up. If I can get some others to help out with this, like other kids she liked, then that'd make this whole thing a lot easier to deal with. 'cause, right now...what can I do? If she freaks out again or stays here all day, that's not gonna' be good for anyone. I gotta' get her back on her feet somehow, and ugh, the tournament! I completely forgot about that. I'm gonna' have to set things up for tomorrow quick, maybe even the rest of the week...
She sighed to herself.
Whatever...just take it easy for now, coach. We'll take care of it all, don't worry.
Her skin was cool, Kagura touching the woman's bare arm with a hand now.
And somehow...I'll get you feelin' good again, too. I'll stick with you all the way here, just you like you always do for everyone else, and we'll get this whole crazy mess solved together.
Kagura watched the woman rest for the better part of a minute then, coming to remember all the occasions in which her coach had helped light the way through her own darkest hours. But as she reminisced about the past, recalling how wonderful she felt when her role model had taken interest in her problems, that old, sparkling image of Kurosawa-sensei now began to make her feel so oddly sad.