10
Azula stares at the smoldering corpse. Her offspring fuss around her body, fearful at their mother's sudden lack of response. The girl knows Mother would've yelled at her, called her a monster. Mother isn't here anymore. Ty Lee and Mai don't criticize her. Father would praise her for having the guts to take a life. He killed every man who faced him in an Agni Kai, all twelve of them. Zuzu... What would her brother do?
As if Agni wanted to answer her question, Zuzu suddenly sat beside her. Azula squints, since Zuzu's head lines up with the setting red sun, Agni's presence in their world. She notices her heartrate increases. Why? The realization dawns on her. Mother saw me as a monster after I killed that baby turtle-duck. Now, Zuzu sees this.
"Why'd you do it, Azula?" He sounds calm for the situation, far too calm than what she'd expect.
She shifts on the cold earth beneath her. "I wanted to see if they'll make it." She points to the seven turtle-ducklings.
"You know they're too young to live without their mother." There's pain in his voice. She always hears it whenever he speaks about Mother.
"What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger."
She rubs her shoulder. Father had increased Azula's training to more intense levels ever since his ascension to the throne. School drags by during the day. Firebending training comes at evening. She falls asleep every night reading scrolls about strategy and the human mind. Every morning, she practices her aim and agility. It hasn't killed me yet, and there were so many chances during the firebending. I'm not dead, just stronger.
Zuzu picks up the dead turtle-duck mother from the pond and places it at Azula feet. "What are you doing?" she hisses.
"We're Fire Nation. We don't let corpses rot or throw them to sea like the Water Tribe or burry them like the Earth Kingdom. This animal was Fire Nation."
She tilts her head. You always had a fondness for animals. Maybe you would've fit better as the son of a farmer. Once again, Azula burns the animal, but this time she doesn't stop until even the bones turned to ash.
His shoulders slouch. "I miss her too."
"I don't. There's a reason why no one talks about her. A good Fire Lord would never let personal loss cloud her judgment."
She clenches her fists. The remaining turtle-ducklings won't stop fussing. They continuously call out their high-pitched squeaks for a mother that will never come back to them. Their mother abandoned them. She wasn't strong enough to stay. She never loved most of them anyway. She gave all her love to just one child. She…
Azula shakes her head. I DON'T MISS, MOTHER!
Her palms open to make blue flame. It's time to end the noise.
He places his hand on her shoulder. "Azula, let me take care of them."
She douses her flames. "Fine."
"I have one question."
"Fire away."
"Do you feel bad for killing?"
"Not at all." She crosses her arms. "I'm a monster after all."
"Remember this, Azula. No matter how things may seem to change, never forget who you are." His words echo Mother's final words to her beloved son.
"I haven't forgotten who I am."
"You're my sister."
He stands up and walks away.
Azula never did tell him, but she kept track of Zuzu and his attempt at saving seven hopeless, motherless lives. All year, she checked… hoped… to find them dead. They never died. In one year's time, they all grew up. It was just in time for Zuzu to leave them too. Like Mother, it wasn't by choice.
11
Azula smiles in utter glee as Zuzu screams in agony. In front of nearly two-hundred generals and nobles, Father burns off part of his son's face.
Zuzu is going to live!
He didn't see any of this coming either. Unlike last time, there wasn't anything Azula could do. Uncle, who finally returned from his desertion almost a year ago, let her buffoon of her older brother into a war meeting. I been attending them for over a year, but I've always been smart enough to not speak a word. Her brother, on the other hand, almost immediately protested a general's strategy. To make it worse, he protested due to morality and not strategy.
Of course, the strategy was idiotic. Send a battalion of new recruits as a distraction to get killed? We already fully integrated women into our military because of a shortage of manpower. A war that lasts over a hundred years tends to whittle down a population, even to the winning side. Throwing away new blood instead of keeping them alive long enough to be veterans… Old men like to use old strategies.
Due to her brother's blatant lack of disrespect, he was challenged to an Agni Kai which he accepted without hesitation. Oh brother with your newfound testosterone, you turn thirteen, so you accept the first honor duel that you're able to legally accept. You thought you'd fight against an old man.
He screams again.
That war meeting, like all war meetings, took place in Father's throne room. He would be the one to duel you.
"Prince Zuko." Father's voice seemed to calm and collected compared to the convulsion and shrieks of her brother. "You are banished from the Fire Nation from this day forward. Leave tomorrow or be executed. If you wish to return, you must capture the Avatar and bring him to me. Go."
Uncle rushes onto the dueling grounds faster than she ever seen the man move. He carries her brother away. At least my brother won't be alone.
When Zuzu saw that our father was the one he'd have to duel, he refused to fight. He fell on his knees and begged for mercy. It probably saved his life. If he fought, Father would kill him, but it would be far too aggressive to kill a begging child. I should've advised him to do that, but it looks like his idiocy pays off occasionally.
Azula leaves the crowd behind and walks back to her quarters. Father wants Zuzu dead. There's no way he could leave our nation by himself or with our tea-guzzling Uncle carrying him out. After she closes the door, she lets out a painful sigh. At least I'll be able to help him now.
He needs to get out of her nation and to travel the world. That means he'll need a boat, and since her brother has no navel experience, he'll need a small crew. Of course, Father would ensure the crew would have someone who would "accidentally" burn my brother to death during some sparring match. Regardless of his reasons, when the Fire Lord wanted someone dead, that person ended up dead. Right now, that person is her wounded brother.
Since I'd rather not have Father find out about my involvement… Azula waits patiently in her room. Today is Tuesday after all, a single blessing on what may be the worst day of her life.
Mai was the first one to arrive, prompt like any well-trained lady. Ty Lee was late as always. Since Mai seemed broody enough to kill someone and Ty Lee wouldn't stop crying, Azula assumed she didn't have to explain how her brother won't be seeing them any time soon.
"Have you finished your crying yet, Ty Lee?" Azula glances at the door. Ever since starting these weekly get-togethers, she convinced the guards not to listen in. All the Royal Guards are still men. The young lady simply ensured her first meeting with her fellow females would've made any man very… uncomfortable to overhear. It worked. The simplest plans are often the most effective.
"No." The girl continues to cry.
"Too bad. We have work to do. Mai, are you even listening?"
The girl blinks. Her eyes focus on the princess. "Sorry."
Normally, that lack of respect would've angered Azula. She'll give the girl a free pass this time. Her pre-arranged marriage to Zuzu will be called off by the end of the week. And that one would've been an instance where the couple actually liked each other. It would've made her sixteenth birthday more interesting to share it with a recently married sister-in-law. Oh well, it could happen anyway. Who knows what'll happen in five years between now and then? Also, marriage… Ew.
"Mai, your parents have enough political connections. Find as many soldiers as you can who are loyal to Uncle Iroh. I want them with navel experience on a small vessel. About thirty. Be sure to have a good captain, cook, engineer, and several firebenders. Oh, try to have at least a few women in there too. I wouldn't want a whole bunch of men to carelessly get themselves killed."
Even Mai couldn't hide the look of surprise on her face. Ty Lee stopped crying.
"As for you." She points to her acrobatic friend. "You parents work on the docks with their merchant trading. Find a ship that no one will miss. Be sure it'll be well-stocked." She takes a pouch of gold coins and drops in in the girl's hands. In any situation other than this one, she'd never trust Ty Lee with half that much. "Maybe get some Komodo-Rhinos too. I want both of you done and to report everything back to me before morning. Go!"
Without a word, they leave her bedroom.
Azula walks to her dresser and pulls out a small chest. Ty Lee always wondered why I horded my allowance away instead of wasting it on momentary pleasures. She looks at the currency. Even if it's Fire Nation, our colonies would accept it. I think they'd be more lenient with the banishment rules. Maybe he could trade the rest for Earth Kingdom coins.
Until the sun sets, Azula meditates. She'd explode in frustration if she didn't. It's like being in a cage. She has no opportunity to do anything herself. Father can't ever find out how she's ensuring her brother's survival, but relying on others to do that work is hard even if they're her two most loyal assistants.
Ty Lee arrives not long after the sun set. The girl looked exhausted and not a coin was left in the bag. Even in the candlelight, Azula sees a smile on Ty Lee's face when she hands her a piece of paper.
"They should have enough supplies to last them until next month," the girl whispers. Her brow scrunches. "That's the name of the boat, the list of stuff I bought, you know… But, um, why are you doing this?"
"You'd prefer to see my brother dead?"
"No!" She shakes her head faster than what's healthy for most people. "It's great and amazing, but you always wanted the throne. Now, you're the only option left so… Why?"
"The Avatar hasn't been seen since Avatar Roku died. The next incarnation probably died in the Avatar State during the Air Nomad genocide. Zuzu's not coming back until I rescind that banishment after I become Fire Lord." She'll buy that.
"Okay!" Her shoulders slouch. "I'm tired though and my parents might finally notice I'm missing. If you see him, tell Zuko I wish him good luck. Also, um…"
"Spit it out."
"I think you'll make a great Fire Lord."
Ty Lee leaves the room. She was going to say something different. What? It's Ty Lee, probably something incidental.
The moon rises in the sky and starts to make its descent when Mai slinks into her bedroom. If Ty Lee was exhausted, then Mai must be moments away from collapsing.
"It took a while. They'll be looking for Prince Iroh and Zuko at the docks tomorrow morning." Mai hands her a piece of paper with thirty names on it, in alphabetical order. "Thank Agni my parents never found out what I was doing."
"Get some sleep."
Mai turns around, but Azula takes her by the wrist.
"Use my bed."
"But-"
"I won't be sleeping tonight. Tell your parents you spent all night ensuring you had the favor of the future Fire Lord."
She raises an eyebrow. "I was ensuring your favor."
"Precisely."
"Thanks for doing all of this, Azula. Was… was the Agni Kai as bad as I heard?"
"Probably."
Azula picks up the bag of coins, small enough to be hidden from the guard but large enough to fund Zuzu's expedition for a while. She leaves Mai behind.
She takes the back passageways of the palace to the infirmary. It wasn't hard to find Zuzu. He's the only one in there.
Azula approaches him. The room has only one lamp as a dim light, but she sees the bandages wrapping the left side of his face. I wonder if he'll be blind in that eye. He sleeps, though it looks anything but restless.
"Have you come to gloat, my niece?" Uncle slouches in a chair opposite of the bed. Azula forces herself not to shake her head. I should've realized he was the reason Ty Lee purchased so much tea in the supplies. He could've acquired all this himself, but someone had to watch over Zuzu. Maybe I should've told Mai to do that. Then, Uncle could've gone through this hassle himself.
Instead of arguing, she hands her uncle the bag of coins and her two lists. "Here."
"What is this?" He squints, trying to read the symbols without adequate lighting.
She shrugs. "There's a small ship, some of your former soldiers with seafaring experience, supplies, and a bag of money. The crew will meet you at the dock tomorrow morning."
"Why are you doing this?"
"Despite popular opinion, I don't agree with the Fire Lord on every decision." She glances at Zuzu. "Ty Lee and Mai wish the dum-dum good luck. He'll be broodier than normal and have more angst than anyone should experience. I wouldn't like that. Goodbye, Uncle."
Azula takes one more look at her brother and memorizes the sight. She sears it into her memory. Will she even recognize him next time they meet?
The princess leaves the infirmary and slips back into her room. The first rays of sunlight rise as she closes her door. Mai sleeps in her bed, so she sleeps in a chair.
When they wake up, Zuzu was on the open seas.
12
Azula didn't bother to waive goodbye as the ship sailed away. Ty Lee would've been crying, but the airhead joined the circus. That's… that's for runaways and inconsequential people. Ty Lee could've been so much more if she stayed. Instead, her talents will be used to entertain the peasants of the Earth Kingdom and Fire Nation like some uninteresting vagabond.
The princess clenches her fists. Of course, Father would "gift" Mai's parents with the governorship of a colony. Her parents jumped at the opportunity and were gone by the end of the week. She wonders if Mai stands on the stern and stares back. The distance is already too great. She can't see her anymore.
I don't feel lonely. I don't FEEL.
She sits in a palanquin. No princess could dream about walking like a normal human being… or a warrior. On either side, she and her bearers are flanked by her royal guards. The citizens back away from the procession as Azula peeks outside. Children stop playing. Mothers gather their toddlers close by. Men step between their families and her.
Only the footsteps of her procession break the silence.
It's not that she misses Ty Lee's eternally positive attitude or Mai's steadfast dedication. She doesn't miss bickering with Zuzu and annoying him in the most childish manners. She doesn't long for her sparring matches against her two friends nor plotting various ways to take the throne from Zuzu without killing him. She doesn't miss Mother. Not at all.
After arriving at the palace, she rushes to the training grounds. Everything burns that can be. The grass, the targets, anything. She throws fire at it all. I am not lonely. She focuses on a metal pole. With a continuous whirlwind of blue flame, she watches the gray metal become red with heat. I am not lonely! The pole tilts to the left as the heat destroys the foundation. I FEEL NOTHING!
The blue flame in her hands become something else entirely. It's still blue, but it cackles and arches. Surprised, she stops bending.
Her insides feel as though they were torn apart and sewn back together. That was power. That was… Recalling what she read in ancient, royal's only scrolls, she swings her arms in a circular motion and embraces the feeling of… Nothingness.
Electricity dances around her fingertips as Azula's mind and body tremble from the power. She points at the pole. The lightning soars through the air and strike the pole. A roll of thunder follows in its wake.
Feeling exhausted, Azula sits down on the scorched grass. She holds the position for a moment before lying down. The sun beams down on her, and it seems to be warming her. I feel so cold, so empty.
She doesn't know how long she lies there. Minutes? Hours? Either way, it ends when a figure steps between her and the sun.
"Azula, get up."
"Yes, Father." She stands though her legs wobble.
"You generated lightning." He doesn't sound impressed. "It is time for you to improve. You'd die on the battlefield because this helplessness."
She represses a wince. "Yes, Father."
Up until today, a Crown Prince over three hundred years ago was the youngest to generate lightning. He was twenty. Azula is twelve.
At least Zuzu would've been impressed. She readies into her combat forms, ignoring the pain and her headache. It's too bad perfection won't allow for praise or rest. Such is the life of a future Fire Lord. All she needs to do is try harder, think cannier, and never show weakness. Then, I will get Father's approval forever.