13
Azula feels sore in so many places. She never thought she could feel such aching pain everywhere. She wraps herself with a robe as she steps out from the tub. I don't feel dirty. It's just because I'm sore. Today was the most taxing training session she had with Father yet. It was alone, secluded. Not even the guards could witness what he decided to teach her today.
He called it a birthday present. It's the first present he ever gave her. Other nobles gave her gifts, trinkets and jewelry. They're piled in the corner of her room, all but a few unopened. None were as amazing as Zuzu's knife. Uncle gave her a doll, but she always was fascinated by the craftmanship of the barbarian's weapon.
He said I'm a woman now.
She stares in the mirror. It's not something she would do often. Her servants prettied her as fitting for a princess. Rubbing her hand down her pristine jawline, she wonders if this is why men… look at her differently now. All of them do. ALL.
Would Uncle give me a stare like them? Tales of his… exploits and even more numerous attempted exploits still echo in the palace halls even two years after his departure with Zuzu. Zuzu… You'd just see your sister, wouldn't you? I could've used one male underling I could count on. You'd do stupid things act like a blubbering savage, but you were an honest dum dum.
She focuses back on the mirror.
Stumbling backwards, she shoots flames at HER out of pure reflex. She shouldn't be here! There's no screaming. Azula hit her target. There's no smell of burnt flesh of melodic cries of pain.
She looks at her target… and laughs. Except in the fake, mocking laugh she uses for manipulation, she hasn't laughed in months.
The princess looks around and listens. No one noticed this. Her bedroom and washroom doors are closed. She stands and walks to the mirror. Scorch marks cover the once pristine surface. She raises her hand and touches the figure on the other side of the reflection.
"I look like Mother." Her voice trembles, a clear sign of weakness. Father can't hear her, so he won't be disappointing. Right now, she is weak.
The jawline, the curve of her forehead, her lips. They're the same as Mother's. The realization hits her harder than any pain she receives during training. She has her nose, her eyebrows, her hair. Everything is the same.
"How could you?" She imagines Mother standing in place of her reflection. Azula's voice turn venomous. "You gave me your… beauty. You must've known I looked like you in your youth. Could you not love yourself?" She slams her fist against the glass. It shakes but doesn't break. "I am from you! You carried me, birthed me, and were supposed to love me. I am Azula. I am the perfect prodigy. You threw away your life to protect Zuzu but couldn't bother even a moment to… to do anything for me?"
Azula clenches her fists. If not, fire would burn the walls. "Father loves me! He sees I'm worth training. Zuzu loves me because he's Zuzu. Everyone else fears me, respects me. You couldn't even show fear? Why was it just disapproval? I tried everything. I saved your son, twice now!"
Her voice becomes strained. "Should I conquer Ba Sing Se and become a hero? Should I become a better bender? What can I DO? Tell me, and I'll do it. I can do anything."
She hears silence.
To reply, she unclenches her fists. Fire burns the mirror until the blackness overtakes any ability to reflect. She stands in front of the mirror one more time before leaving. Now, it shows only darkness.
"I will become Fire Lord, but that won't make you love me either, will it? You killed my grandfather. You'd kill me too if it protected Zuzu. Well, I'll do that for you. I'll take your job when I become Fire Lord. I already took your looks. Zuzu will never be in danger again. Then, you will love me because you love Zuzu."
She leaves her washroom for a restless night of sleep. In the morning, she finds out her father will train her privately from now on. At least he loves her, right?
Azula avoids mirrors from then on.
14
Zuzu attacked her for the third time.
Looking back on it, she should've seen the first one coming. Father wanted her to capture the two of them alive. She wanted them alive… Well, Zuzu. She's apathetic towards Uncle only because her brother seems to like him. If not, she'd kill him.
It wasn't hard to find them. After surviving weeks alone on a raft, they were recovering on some small resort for nobles in their colonies. She couldn't blame them either. Zuzu had been chasing the recently re-emerged Avatar all the way from the farthest depths of the south to the cold fringes of the north. It took a toll on him.
I never thought Zuzu had it in him. She smiles.
They understood her intent when an idiotic soldier called them captives. I would've transported them like royalty back home. Uncle could've gotten a lavish cell and Zuzu… I would've drafted him as my servant. Chasing the Avatar with Mai, Ty Lee, and Zuzu would've been grand.
Oh well. After a brief fight where Zuzu showed off his lack of fighting skills, the two of them escaped. She expected them to keep a low profile like anyone with common sense. That's where she was wrong. Zuzu and common sense don't mix.
He ended up attacking her when she was battling the Avatar. Was he tracking her, the boyish Avatar, or was it the result of some bored Spirits? It doesn't matter. He fought her and the Avatar, an interesting three-way duel.
Then, more showed up. Mai and Ty Lee were apparently indisposed at the moment and failed at stopping the Avatar's traveling companions. I was merciful in not punishing them. I brought Mai away from her parents and their boring governor position. Ty Lee… She did want to stay at the circus, but she's a Chi blocker. She should've been able to capture those two Water Tribe barbarians without trouble.
It became six versus one. Uncle showed up. Together the sudden alliance, the enemy of my enemy is my friend, seemed intent on stopping her. She fought more opponents at once before, but the Avatar, Zuzu, Uncle, the avatar's earthbending teacher, the avatar's waterbending teacher, and some idiot with a boomerang would be far too much of a challenge.
It was a time for a tactical retreat, and hurting Zuzu wasn't high on her priorities. Then she noticed his eyes. Azula prides herself in reading other people. She expected to see regret over fighting his sister. She saw that. She also saw hate. HATE. He didn't trust her.
What changed? She ran through all the possibilities. It was obvious. She saved his life twice but never told him. Mother never bothered to tell Zuzu. It seems that Uncle neglected to tell Zuzu who procured the boat, sailors, and supplies. I didn't know the old man had that kind of manipulation in him. Zuzu probably assumed it was all him.
She blasted the old man in the chest before making a tactical retreat. It was most likely not fatal. If her brother had any brains, he could ask the waterbender to heal him. Rumors suggest she had that ability.
There was no way Zuzu would run into her again, not until the war was over. Azula focused on beating the Avatar. Along the way, she happened to conquer Ba Sing Se. Well, she's about to. Instead of the old men's tactics of bloodshed, she used infiltration and manipulation. Using the uniforms of an all-female squad of soldiers they captured, Azula and her friends infiltrated the city. It was easy after that. It was apparently a police-state. She took over the police, recently undermined from the Avatar's meddling. The police seemed to believe the enemy of my enemy is my friend as well. She took over the police, so it's just a matter of waiting for the right moment before taking the city. Not a drop of blood will be spilt. She'll be done under a week.
The Earth Kingdom will fall. That isn't what excites Azula. Instead, it was that waterbender's news. While the Avatar and his other friends left for… somewhere, she stayed behind and decided to visit a tea shop. She came running back to the palace screaming moments before their coup.
"The Fire Nation has infiltrated the city, I just saw Prince Zuko and his uncle!" she screamed to the first people she saw. Those people happened to be "friends and warriors" who were Azula and her infiltrators. She captured the girl. The waterbender looked to be her age. Ty Lee was happy to see torturing the girl wouldn't be done this time. Azula was too busy scheming ways to get her brother back.
She came up with a simple plan. She would give a rousing speech to the traitorous police. Why are they called Dai Li anyway? All she then had to do was organize a simultaneous coup where all five Earth Kingdom generals were captured, use the police to break down the wall with Earthbending, and request Zuzu and Uncle's presence for some believable reason. To anyone but Azula, this would be too difficult, but she's the perfect princess of the Fire Nation. She couldn't… can't fail.
She couldn't stop laughing when she learned what her brother and uncle were up to. They were small business owners. They owned a tea shop! The "great" general Iroh and the prince of the Fire Nation were serving tea to the snobbish high-born barbarians of the Earth Kingdom. In that case, she sent them a letter claiming the Earth King, who was nothing but the police's moronic and unsuspecting puppet, wanted them to serve tea just before sundown. Zuzu is more gullible than a toddler and Uncle would be glad to have such a "powerful" person request his tea.
All she then had to do was wait. She'd convince her brother to join her, the city will fall, and the two of them will wait for the Avatar to return. He doesn't seem like the kind of boy who'd leave behind a member of his entourage.
That's when things went wrong. If someone surrounded Azula with the police force and started talking to her, she'd stall and see what they want. Zuzu and Uncle ran before her brother's honor got in the way. He stopped an challenged her to an Agni Kai. Since she didn't feel like burning and embarrassing him, she told her Dai Li to capture him. They placed him with the waterbender in an underground cave. An odd place for a prison cell, but these people are barbarians.
Now, she waits for the Avatar. She can reason with Zuzu once he calms down. Who knows? Maybe he and the waterbender could get to know each other. No Fire Lord could ever have a waterbender as a wife or concubine, and that'd guarantee Azula's status as the next Fire Lord. Father will be so proud.
They do the coup. Everyone gets captured as planned. The leader of the police tried to double-cross her, but the police had more sense than their leader. Would execution or life imprisonment be better? She smiles. Maybe I could let the peasants of this city decide. I get rid of him and gain loyalty.
Oh, the earthbending teacher and the boomerang idiot also showed up during the coup. They're in a cell with the Earth King now.
That means only Iroh and the Avatar are unaccounted for. Azula sighs. Knowing Uncle's lack of patriotism these days and the Avatar's boyish gullibility, I'd suspect they're looking for Zuzu and that waterbender together.
She and her police head down to the underground prison. She left Ty Lee and Mai behind. Things could get ugly, so she wanted only expendable minions this time. As she suspected, she finds all four of them talking to each other. Zuzu at least looks like he wants to bite off the Avatar's head. She waits until the Avatar and the girl walk away. Perhaps those two are romantically involved?
"Capture Iroh," she whispers to the agents.
They nod.
As she comes into their view, Uncle becomes encased in the cave's rock.
"I expected this kind of treachery from Uncle, but Zuzu, Prince Zuko, you're a lot of things, but you're not a traitor, are you?" You said you're my brother. You said you don't think I'm a monster. Prove it, Zuzu. This's your chance.
"Release him immediately!" You have a one-minded devotion that'd be wonderful if directed correctly. Just give me that devotion.
"It's not too late for you. You can still redeem yourself." The Avatar is walking away from you this moment, Dum Dum. Just capture him. Well, I would, but you can have the credit for all I care.
Uncle speaks up. Her agents didn't muzzle the old man. "The kind of redemption she offers is not for you." For the past three years, what lies have you been weaving in his head? Zuzu, I shouldn't have let him come with you.
"Why don't you let him decide, Uncle?" Shut up!
She sighs. Her shoulders slouch. "I need you, Zuko." THERE. I said it. I missed you. You're an idiot, but you're my idiot. "I've plotted every move of this day, this glorious day in Fire Nation history. We can win is together. You will have your honor back. You will have Father's love. You will have everything you want." I will have what I want. I'd have my family again. My real family, not Mother.
"I am begging you." Uncle does sound like he's begging. "Look into your heart and what it is you truly want?" Ug, did you find that line out of a fairy tale? I'm getting your nephew's life back together out of the kindness of my heart. I could execute him for treason, but I'm offering him exactly what he wanted for the past three years.
"You are free to choose."
Azula walks away to confront her two enemies. She knows… she trusts Zuzu will be close behind.
She lets herself slip into her battle mentality. In some ways, it is like a dance. She moves. The Avatar moves. That waterbender moves. It's a state of equilibrium through actions and responses. The Avatar has power. The waterbender has rage. Why is she so angry anyway? Azula has perfection.
A blast of fire flies between her opponents and herself. She doesn't have to turn to know who's here. She smiles as she gains her dancing partner. It's great to have you back, brother.
They work well together, not perfectly. No one can match Azula's perfection, but their cooperation exceeds all others. Even Mai and Ty Lee can't compare to her brother. He doesn't have her power or intelligence, but he has her trust. On a battlefield, trust is more important than anything else for Azula's allies.
Their enemies are overwhelmed. The Avatar mostly dodges. For some, it would wear down his attackers, but Azula could do this for hours while Zuzu seems determined enough to press through well past the Avatar's strength. The waterbender puts up a noble fight, but the girl is a minute away from defeat. Exhaustion will take her.
The Avatar proceeds to bend then hide inside a dome of rocks and crystal. The waterbender fights out of desperation. Why would he abandon her? The Avatar State… No!
Azula runs to where she'd expect to see the back of the Avatar when he comes out. He's entering the Avatar State. I could probably survive, but Zuzu… She narrows her eyes. You aren't going to take Zuzu from me.
She swirls her hands around and clears any feelings from her mind. Electricity cackles from her fingertips.
The Avatar rises from his earthen shelter with his eyes glowing white. He's about to unleash death and destruction on his enemies. Azula points and fires. The lightning strikes his back, and he falls to the ground. The waterbender screams and unleashes a wave of water sweeping up his body.
Zuzu and Azula step towards her. Just give us the body, girl.
A blast of fire forces them to jump back. "You've got to get out of here! I'll hold them off as long as I can!" Uncle's words seem to tear through Zuzu's heart. The police, Zuzu, and Azula all fight Uncle, but he is one of two firebenders Azula couldn't easily destroy in combat. The moment the waterbender leaves, the old man stops fighting and holds out his hands in surrender. The police take him away without a word.
Azula takes Zuzu away from the cave. It seems to be killing him on the inside. She leads him to the Earth King's throne, and not once does he ask her to stop. Azula smiles as she sits on the throne. Zuzu looks broody. It's time to cheer him up.
"Zuzu, we've done it. The war is over. The Avatar is defeated. You can go home, with me."
"I betrayed Uncle."
She stand and walks to him. She pokes him in the chest forcibly. "You. Did. Not. Were you the one to throw fire at him first? Were you the one who wanted to help the Avatar, the very person who'd rip down everting we and our ancestors worked for? Uncle betrayed you. I didn't. I won't."
"But I don't have the Avatar. What if Father doesn't accept it? What if he doesn't restore my honor?"
She puts her hand on his shoulder. "He doesn't need to, Zuzu. Today, you restored your own honor."
She looks at him for a moment longer. Then, she does something she never did before. She wraps her arms around him and pulls him into a hug.
"Welcome home, Zuzu."
15
part 2
"Zuzu."
After everything that happened to her in those fifteen years, it all comes down to this moment.
There he stands. Behind him, there's the waterbending girl. The Avatar didn't die. He attacked the capital during an eclipse. They couldn't bend. Only a dishonorable enemy would do that, but the Fire Nation repelled their attack.
Why! Why did Zuzu chose to leave them? He betrayed her! They were getting along! Even he and Mai were getting all lovey-dovey. Ew. He left. Why? She knows why. MOTHER. It's her fault! She was the one who poisoned his mind ever since his birth. After she had to leave, Uncle continued. They turned Zuzu away. He even became the Avatar's firebending teacher! WHY!
Then, Mai betrayed her. She did it so Zuzu could've escaped. He was in her clutches! Azula was going to subdue her, then Ty Lee attacked her. WHY! It doesn't make sense. It doesn't compute. The world… the world doesn't work this way. She's Azula. She doesn't fail.
Then, Father left her behind to kill a bunch of Earth Kingdom civilians. He didn't see her as useful anymore. Why would? Everyone betrays her, so he discarded her like a used concubine. Why must everyone betray her!
She knows why. Mother was right. This entire time, she was right. I'm a monster. It simply took Zuzu longer to realize it.
"Sorry, but you're not gonna become Fire Lord today." He lights his hands on fire. "I am. I challenge you to an Agni Kai."
"I accept."
For the first time in her life, she tries to injure her brother. He fights backs using forms she never saw before, but the girl hardly recognizes anything. She focuses on trying to burn him, hurt him.
Why it all be better, when we were young? It was nice then. He didn't think I was a monster.
She did so much for him. He said she was his sister. LIER! He knows she's a monster. Monsters don't have brothers. Monsters don't have joy. They don't have friends or happy ending. Monsters have pain, and they give pain. That's it.
Why is everything on fire? Oh, I forgot. Today is Sozin's Comet! That's why Daddy's killing people and babies. Last time this came, my great-grandfather killed every airbender except the Avatar. Daddy's just gonna use this to kill more people! Why'd I forget that?
Some part of her mind tells her something inside is wrong. She's breaking, slipping. She ignores that voice.
Their flames are more like tornadoes. The palace, the courtyard, everything. There's fire everywhere. It's so hot. She uses her flames to propel her. Maneuverability is… good? Tactical. It's tactical for fights. Daddy says so.
Then, Zuzu throws a really big fireball at her. She keeps it from burning her, but she falls on the ground. That hurt. Zuzu hurt me!
"No lightning today? What's the matter? Afraid I'll redirect it?" He sounds angry. Why is Zuzu angry with me?
Two little voices in the back of her head tell her not to fire. One says he's her big brother, and she shouldn't hurt her big brother. Mommy wouldn't want that. The other one, one that has been getting quieter and quieter, tells her there'd be no tactical advantage. Her brother can redirect lightning, so he'd fire it back at her.
She ignores both. She tries to clear all feelings, but she can't. The lightning comes anyway, not because she's amazing or perfect. She isn't amazing; she isn't perfect. The comet merely provides her with enough power. The lightning seems to be burning through her body, her mind, and her soul. Pain. So much pain.
Then, she sees the waterbender. She's close enough to be in the courtyard. Agni Kai's are for two fighters, but that girl stepped into the courtyard. It's a technicality but a victory. Azula won by default because Zuzu had an ally step into the dueling grounds.
I don't want to hurt Zuzu now.
She fires at the girl instead.
"No!" Zuzu dives in front of the lightning bolt. He must've realized she was firing at his friend. No fair. He gets all the friends.
The lightning hits him in the chest. He redirects some of it, but not all. He convulses on the floor dying before her eyes. It's just like that moment four years ago when Daddy burnt off part of Zuzu's face.
I killed Zuzu! I KILLED ZUZU! I'm a monster! I killed him!
Witch! Water witch! You tricked me into killing Zuzu!
She chases the girl. She throws fire. She says… things. She doesn't know what the words are, only her mouth moves and sound comes out. Nothing else matters. The waterbender must die because Zuzu will die.
I'm so sorry, Zuzu! Mommy was right. I'm a monster, and I killed you!
The enemy hides behind pillars and slides on her ramps of ice. Azula chases. She won't fail. The girl stops moving under a covered walkway. Every tactical part of Azula's mind tells her to stop. That girl must be planning something. She doesn't listen. Zuzu needs to be avenged.
"There you are, filthy peasant!" She raises her hand to burn off the witch's pretty face. Then, everything becomes ice cold. She can't move.
Looking down, she sees the water below them, a small canal running under their feet. They're standing on a grated covering. The waterbender lifted the water up and froze it.
The witch melts the water around herself. She takes a chain and wraps it around Azula's hands. Then, she ties it to the floor. She chained her like a wild animal, like a monster. She melts all the ice. Azula drops to the floor.
She's alone. Zuzu's dead. Father doesn't love her. She doesn't have any friends.
Azula breathes out fire trying to burn everything like the monster she is. She tugs at the chains to free herself. It won't budge. She falls on her back. Her head smack against the stone floor, but it doesn't matter. No one loves her. I killed Zuzu.
She cries. She wails like a little girl. Mommy! Mommy! Come back! Save Zuzu! You love him, so save him. Give… Give him a kiss! That would make it feel all better. Mommy, please. Save Zuzu from me.
Through her tears, she sees two figures standing, staring at her. Zuzu? She blinks a few times. The figures come into focus.
"Zuzu!" she screams. "You're all better!"
The wound on his chest is gone! Why hasn't her tears stopped?
"Stay away from me, Zuzu! Stay away! Mommy was right. I'll hurt you again. I'm a monster!"