She stared at the pregnacy test in her hand, the feeling of wanting to throw up hitting her hard. It was a blur for her as she flushed the tolilet, sliding down the wall as her back came in contact with it. She didn't know how long she stayed there on the floor of her bathroom just staring at the test. Her body on autopilot just like that day her world came crashing down.
She wanted to stay in bed, curl up underneath the covers, and never have to speak to anyone again. But she knew her family would be worried if they don't hear from her. Her dad will probably think she drank herself into a coma. Alcohol was the first thing she needed to do any with if she really is expecting.
Alcohol her constant compain through her pain, & lonliness for the past 11 years. A void that she tries to fill, a void that will never be abel to fill. She wrapped her arms around her middle maybe this blessing as she's sure geena will call it will be abel to give her some sense of self again. But there's that nagging feeling at the back of her mind, that there should be someone else with her.
That Mark should be here with her, that the baby she's expecting should be theirs, and not some random co-worker's she slept with. That Mark would pratically be over the moon if he was still alive. That they would be planning everything out, thinking of names ahead of time, that he would have been watching her every move, never letting her out of his sight.
She stopped thinking of the what ifs, and sat up in her her palms against her eyes, breathing in, and out to control her breathing. Because barely know she noticed that her breathing was starting to become erratic. Her nerves getting to her, she felt joy that she will probably finally be able to be a mother, but the other feelings of longing for him to be here holding her. Whispering into her ear that he loves her, that they would be the great parents.
Becky got up from her bed, brushed her teeth, grabbed her jacket & keys. Not bothering to change out of her work uniform, she made up her mind, taking one last look at the test to confirm it. It was probably for the best to tell her family now.