"I'm sorry..." Alex whispered to nobody.

A chilly breeze blew into him. A few lights were on inside the mansion, but otherwise it was dark. It was 1:00 am, and everyone else had gone to bed a long time ago. He was glad he was alone now. He needed some time to himself after the events that had just occurred. Just a few hours before had been Meghan's funeral.

The whole time, he had felt dead, not really feeling much. He didn't cry. He had been trying to be strong then, and he was trying to be strong now. When he gave a long speech about her, everyone teared up. Alex feared he was tear up too. But he didn't. When Artimeans came up to him and said things like "I'm sorry for your loss" he didn't cry. He might've looked strong on the outside, but on the inside he was breaking into a million pieces. He could only take so much breaking down before he let it all out. But he needed to stay strong for his people.

Despite all the horrible events, he was glad he still had his two other best friends, Lani Haluki and Samheed Burkesh. They had always stood by him. He might've had fights with them, but they always made up eventually. And then there was Sky. He needed her too, and he found he really couldn't live without her. She had Ben with him through so much. They were part of his lifeline. If he lost anyone else...he would fall apart. He needed them, now more than ever. And this included all of the people and creatures who had shaped him and helped him become a better person. They had all made a huge impact on his life, and all of them were alive and well. Except one person: Meghan. His third best friend wasn't with him anymore.

And he hated that.

He missed her. He missed having her to talk to whenever he had a problem. He missed hearing her sing and watching her dance. He missed fighting in battles with her. And hanging out with her at any random time of the day. She was his first friend in Artime, and she had been his neighbor in Quill. Her red hair and piercing green eyes were still engraved in his head. He tried not to forget what she looked like, but every day his image of her faded a little. Soon, she would only be a memory. But the memories from the past still haunted him.

He remembered the day it had happened. She had jumped in front of Samheed, and Alex was too slow. He had picked her up and carried her inside the mansion, screaming for someone to help. But, by the time the doctors came around, she was gone. It had been too late. And he blamed himself. He felt selfish, since Meghan had sacrificed herself and all, but he really felt it should've been him.

It was the thoughts like these that were the ones he kept to himself. He would never tell anyone he wished he would've been killed instead of Meghan. Not even Lani or Samheed. They would say he was being extremely selfish, since he had the people of Artime counting on him. Not only that, but he was a mage. He needed to be selfless, but it was hard sometimes.

It was hard not to break down when he thought of her. He missed his best friend. He missed her so much it hurt.

Another chilly breeze blew into Alex, his red mage robe flying in front of him. He looked around one last time to make sure to coast was clear. Seeing no one, he sunk to his knees in front of the emotionless gravestone, her gravestone. He took a shaking breath as he read the caption on it.

'Meghan Ranger', it said, 'a very much loved and amazing Unwanted who had a beautiful singing voice and was an amazing dancer. We will never forget her.'

Just reading those words, Alex started to tear up for once. "I'm sorry..." he whispered again. "I'm sorry I couldn't save you. Look, I.."

He began to choke up but forced himself to hold himself together.

"I should've been there...I could've saved you. I know I could've..maybe if i had gotten there sooner and we had gotten the right things.."

His lips started to quiver and he blinked a few times. He inhaled sharply and stared down at her grave once more. Don't cry, he thought.

"Don't cry," he repeated vocally.

"Don't. Don't.." a few tears escaped from his eyes. He sighed and shook his head, running his hands through his hair. His entire body began to shake with sobs.

"I've been-I've been talking to myself constantly...of ways I could've saved you. I've been thinking- t-thinking you could r-respond.." he choked out. He rubbed his eyes in an attempt to stop crying. "I-this never should've happened!" he screamed, but no one was there to answer. No one ever was. She wouldn't ever answer him. Why not?

"You didn't have to jump in front of Sam! Why didn't you just pull him out of the way? Why did you push him out of the way?! Why did you have to die, Meghan?"

"T-this wasn't supposed to happen! Why did you have to be a hero?! That's my job! I'm the hero, and I should've been killed. It should've been me! Not you! I can't believe you..." he sobbed, still shouting.

He furiously dug his hands into the grass and leaned closer to her gravestone. "A-and I've been looking everywhere. Anywhere I c-could to find a cure for d-death. Why did you have to?" he yelled, a little quieter now. He looked down at the grass and watched his tears fall to the ground.

"Why..did you have to?"

He was whispering again now. But no one answered. His best friend was gone. Meghan Ranger was gone. But he didn't want to believe that. He had a tiny twinge of hope left in his heart…that maybe he could still save her. But as powerful as he was, he knew no one could bring back the dead.

"I think about y-you every day. You were…you are my b-best friend," he continued to whisper. He blinked a few times, fresh tears running down his face and hitting the ground. "I m-miss you."

"D-do you miss me? Do you forgive me?"

But no one answered, and no one ever did.

He sat back and hugged his knees. He tried to imagine her cold, dead body lying underneath the earth right now. He wondered if she could even hear him. He stared at her grave, but no one responded. The sound of the ocean and jungle were the only things that made noise. He sighed and rubbed his eyes, tears still streaming down his cheeks. Another breeze swept through the air. He slowly stood up, still staring at her grave. He would give anything to see her again.

He backed away slowly towards the mansion. He didn't want to go inside, but he knew he had to. He had to continue on with his life. He had to continue being a Mage and continue guiding the people of Artime. It was his duty, even if it was a duty he never signed up for.

He turned around and walked up to the mansion's entrance. He put his hand on the doorknob and turned it, opening the door slightly. Right before he entered, he turned, half expecting to see her standing there. But she wasn't. She wouldn't ever be standing again. That's the cost of being a hero, Alex thought. Sometimes, you fall down and never get back up.

Someday, he might see her again. When he died, he might. And he was looking forward to it. But, for now, he was alive. He was alive, and she wouldn't ever be. Now she was just a memory. She was a brave, fallen warrior of Artime. Deep in his heart, he knew he could never truly let her go.

He wiped at his tired, red eyes and refrained himself from crying again. It was hard not to. It was extremely hard.

He looked up into the star-filled sky, listening to the peaceful sounds of the jungle and the splashing of the waves against the shore. "I miss you," he whispered.

She didn't answer.

Meghan Ranger was dead, and he had to accept it.