Hey everyone! Oh my godddd I'm so sorry for not updating in 2-3 months! Don't worry, I'm still continuing this awesome Unwanteds fic :) Just know that writing a story can take from a few days to two weeks depending on how long I want the story to be and how focused I am at it. I'm definitely going to get all your requests in ASAP! Please keep reviewing and following and favoriting, and tell me how you like each story I do! Once again I'm sooo sorry for not updating in a while. Thank you for being such rad fans! Enjoyyyyyyy

(PS, I love writing angst so BE WARNED)

College, it seemed, wasn't all Lani Haluki had hoped for.

It all started just a month ago. That was when things went, well, downhill. Very downhill. She was three months in her freshman year of college, adjusting between making new friends and just trying to remember her schedule. The first thing shouldn't have even been a problem.

She had a nice enough roommate, an international student all the way from China, who was fairly quiet and hardly had stopped to talk to Lani...not even to say "hello." And as far as she knew, "hello" was a word all learners of the English language should know. Lani knew something they did have in common, which was they both liked to read. She always saw her roommate huddled under her blanket at night, a bright nightlight only slightly dimmed by the covers as she read. And despite all that, Lani either had forgotten the girl's name, or had never learned it.

Outside her room, she often talked to her dorm-mates, including others she had classes with. By talking and doing her best to hang out with them during meals, she met even more from those people. But she soon realized the obvious- this wasn't high school. There was a huge shift in the amount of students attending her college compared to high school and even middle school. Sure, it was a lot of people, but it wasn't anything Lani couldn't handle! At least, that was what she told herself every morning. Gradually, the people she met turned from strangers to acquaintances. But none had made it to being her friend. No one seemed to invite her to parties or invite her to lunch. But she would do the same for them. She only wanted to make friends, but it almost seemed like they didn't want to do anything with her. It was strange. A lot of times, she just didn't feel like she was making any progress in making friends- no matter how hard she tried. After three months, a girl like her should've already made at least five friends, right?

Majority of the young adults at her college seemed just too out of her league and intelligence to even be friends with her at all. Sure, Lani had gotten into a great school, all because she was smart, including the fact that she wanted to be a best-selling author someday, but ever since she started going to this school she hadn't seemed to fit in. She felt her doubts and worries build up everyday someone invited their group of friends to lunch. She wasn't often included in those groups. She felt as if people were judging her if she got an answer wrong. And she knew that wasn't right, because everyone she had come across had been friendly and welcoming. But this just wasn't the same as high school.

Lani had had high expectations. And when she figured college would be an awful lot like high school, she meant it. She found herself missing high school-if not the meaning and great experiences of it- everyday. She'd made a lot friends since freshman to senior year. High school had gone by in a flash, and after graduation, after all the parties and promises to see each other again, everyone got ready for college. Lani found herself hanging out with the people who had always been there for her: Alex Stowe, Meghan Ranger, and Samheed Burkesh.

Before college started, everything seemed easier. They were out of high school, and had grown into young adults. The fun that they had in high school had grown into fond memories. They started hanging out less with the friends they weren't as close to. It didn't take long for reality to set in. The friends started to talk more about what the future would hold.

Theories arose, like where they would end up ten years from now, what career would they pursue once college was over, and would they ever get married? Would they have kids? What kind of path would they take…and how long would each if them live? Lani had thought a lot about this before she even graduated, but once the realization set in, she had to admit to herself...she was scared. All her friends were off to different colleges than her. All of them would probably have a different future. And maybe they'd never even have time for each other anymore. Maybe they'd never see each other again.

For Samheed, colleges had noticed him in sophomore year. Being the best actor out of the entire theatre club, it wasn't a surprise to anyone he was going to have a big future. Skip ahead a few years, high school was over, and Samheed had high hopes-much higher than everyone could've had. He'd been told he would take a theatre camp in the summer before attending college. And since he such a talented young actor and director, the future of even becoming famous was possible for him. Which meant there would be almost no time for him to hang out with his friends...including Lani, who HAD just started dating him senior year.

When high school was over, Alex and Meghan had different stories.

Alex was off to a professional art school, which was positioned closest to Lani's college, only being five hours away. He had gotten much praise for his work from many other artists and teachers. He was as excited as Samheed, but possibly a little more sad to see his friends off. He didn't have as promising as a future of becoming famous as Samheed did, but he would at least have as much free time as Lani would. Although he denied it, everyone believed his art could end up in a popular museum, hanging among the other famous artists from centuries before.

As for the red-haired dancer with a beautiful singing voice, Meghan was off to a college that specialized in those arts. She hoped to work somewhere in New York when she was older, so she could star in big musicals or have a dance studio of her own someday. She was excited, possibly as excited as Samheed. Her talents had caught the eye of many influential people in the music industry. If that wasn't enough praise, her music teacher, Ms. Morning, had told her many times that her voice was the best in the entire school. While Meghan tried not to let this get to her head, even she couldn't help bragging to Lani and Alex (who would only respond by staring at each other in silence as if they were on The Office)

But then it happened. First Samheed went off to professional theatre camp for that summer, only sometimes coming back on the weekends to stop by and see them. As the three waited for college to start, Lani, Alex, and Meghan saw their best friend less and less. Lani found herself growing more disappointed each time he was forced to leave her in the middle of a date to practice for shows. After a month, he started to skip their hang-outs and small parties more often than not. At first, he'd said it was because of a show he couldn't afford to miss. But the other times had simply "slipped his mind." This didn't seem to bother Alex and Meghan too much, though. They adjusted quickly, and often ended up inviting Sky, Aaron, and Kaylee to have small parties as the summer sped by. Lani wasn't sure why they weren't as effected by Samheed's absence. Maybe it was because Lani was the one dating him and he kept rescheduling? She tried to be more like her friends-going on crazy late-night adventures and simply enjoying every moment.

It was finally beginning.

Things were changing, and as exciting as it seemed for her friends, Lani Haluki didn't like any bit of it.

Things got worse. College practically slapped her in the face with its arrival. Three months into her freshman year was when things went crazy. She'd gotten a part-time job on the weekends as a cashier at the bookstore down the block from her school. Every few weeks, she and Alex would meet up halfway at a cafe or park to catch up on things face to face. She tended to see Meghan less, so they did their best to make room around their busy schedules to FaceTime or send each other postcards. As for some of her less close friends, like Sky, Kaylee, or Aaron, she managed to call them every once in a while and see how their lives were going. She'd finally begun to adjust to her lonelier life, and was now regaining her strength to make it through life and find new friends.

She was sitting at the register, lazily reading a book as she waited for people to buy something. Her phone buzzed beside her. She grabbed for it and checked the caller.

It was Samheed.

She hadn't heard a call from him in over a week, which was uncommon for her since they usually called each other every night to see how the other was doing.

Lani briefly wondered if anything was wrong. She just shook it off. "No," she'd said to herself. "Just answer the phone. He's probably calling to apologize for not reaching you in over a week."

She put the phone to her ear. "Hello?"

"Lani! Something amazing happened!" On the other end, his voice sounded almost on the verge of tears, but it wasn't from being upset. He was happiest than she'd ever heard him all semester. That didn't surprise her, but it said a lot. He was happy every day at the huge acting college he went to.

She gripped the phone harder. She had a bad feeling about this. Something big had obviously happened to him. And while it was obviously good, but she had a feeling she wouldn't like she was hearing.

"What?" she asked excitedly, forcing all the happiness she could muster into her voice.

"IGOTAHUGEACTINGROLEINAMOVIEANDIWASCHOSENOUTOFFIFTYGUYSFORTHEPART!"

"What?" Lani repeated louder. "Talk slower! I can hardly even understand you that fast, Sam!"

"I got a huge acting role in a movie and I was chosen out of fifty guys for the part!" Samheed repeated, much slower this time, but even more excited. She could practically see him grinning like crazy; happiness exploding through him as he found out he got to star in a movie. Not even thinking twice about any of his friends. And movies took long to film. Weeks. Months. Maybe even an entire year.

An actual movie.

Lani felt all the air leave her chest. Her hope deflated. The only sound was of her ears ringing. Her heart pounded as she slumped further in her chair. Her book had somehow slipped from her hand and slammed into the ground, but she hardly heard the noise it made. She wasn't listening to Samheed anymore, who -ignorant as ever - continued talking about his new movie and all the details on it. She heard only bits of every sentence, like "a full year and a half," "a country away," "no time off." She muttered a few false words of encouragement, the last of the boy she was in love with slipping away from her…

Right.

Under.

Her.

Nose.

After she hung up, she packed her bag and drove home-back to freshman dorm. Both good and bad news, her untalkatative international roommate had been asleep when she got there. Good news? She didn't want any questions. Not that she'd be able to understand a question in Chinese. Nonetheless, she could've used someone to talk to. Even if they didn't understand a word she said.

She hated herself for crying that night.

It was the kind of crying that only meant self-pity and only guaranteed guilt. She did her best to muffle her sobs into her many thick pillows and blankets, all so she wouldn't wake up her sleeping roommate. But it didn't seem to do a thing. The girl woke up eventually, and when she saw Lani there, tears streaming down her face and her hair an unbrushed mess, her pajamas carelessly fitted around her and a bowl of ice cream on her nightstand, and she did what any person would do, English-speaking or not.

She walked over and hugged her.

It was a week before Christmas, and Lani was studying hard for her next big exam. She wasn't very hungry from cramming in endless amounts of studying the night before. It wasn't like she hadn't studied earlier, but she needed to make time for her other classes. So any free time she wasn't doing work for other things, she was studying hard for her upcoming exam. She found it easy to focus on work rather than the fact that Samheed was hardly unable to talk to her anymore. Unlike most of her classmates who preferred hanging out with friends on the weekends and daytime, Lani wisely chose the off-time to study in the 3rd floor of the library, where silence was a must. Besides all this studying, she made sure to talk to her professors about any and all information she should know. Hard work was making things appear a little less gray.

A month has passed since she'd heard the news that Samheed was now acting in a movie. Work began to eat up even more of his time, not even allowing her to call him as much as she used to. She had started to accept the shift of their dynamic by simply focusing on her studies. Even so, she found herself missing him...especially him. Everytime she got the chance to hear his voice, she would break into a uncontrollable stammer as she went through any events in her life he had missed (which wasn't much compared to him). Whenever they hung up, promising to call each other soon, she was unable to not feel flushed at their short, quick, and rare phone calls. Her heart ached for him, Alex, and Meghan, and she found herself staring at their countless pictures together-hung on her side of her room-with a longing hope and an empty, endless void that stayed put in her stomach and didn't seem to go away.

But this was just like anything in life. What happened before things got better? Things got worse.

And a month later, during her endless amounts of studying, just a week before Christmas, she heard graver news...much, much graver news. Christmas time was supposed to be about happiness and fun, right? Not in her case. It never seemed to be in her case anymore. The world was relentless and cruel-as if she'd done something to deserve this. She didn't know things could shatter any more. She didn't know the already broken pieces of her heart could become even more cracked and desolate than it'd been when the boy she loved officially slipped away from her like a balloon floating towards the sky and never returning.

That Sunday morning, the phone call was from Alex. He normally would prefer texting her if he wanted to talk. This wasn't common unless he really felt in the mood to talk to her and hear her voice for a change.

He never called.

It was an early morning on Sunday and Lani hadn't gotten any sleep, which was mostly from the hours upon hours of studying and reviewing material last night. But something different was bothering her, bugging her-making her restless. For some reason that morning, she'd felt uneasy and tense. And when she got that phone call, she knew why.

She remembered the immediate "Something just happened," that followed the second she answered the phone. Alex's voice was strained and cracked as he struggled to form sentences. But it was enough for her to hear. That morning she'd heard "Meghan" and "dead" in the same sentence. She hardly remembered demanding Alex question after question through her cries and pleads. What had happened? Why it had happened? Who killed her? What kind of person would even do that?

She didn't remember if he answered her, but next thing she knew she was standing in front of the TV, her eyes glued to the News. A reporter stood in front of an apartment building-Meghan's apartment building-delivering the grim details. "Yes, she was a professional dancer and singer," the reporter was saying. "What we know so far is she and her boyfriend and co-worker-Cole Wickett, were walking home from the theater on Saturday night. When they got inside her apartment, he got very drunk. A witness and fellow neighbor of Ranger's from across the hall heard a gunshot and immediately called the police. By the time police got there, security was already handcuffing Wickett and had his firearm taken away. Meghan Ranger was found dead on the floor-"

Lani switched off the TV abruptly, her mind a swirling, uncontrollable mass. Meghan was dead.

She was dead.

Everything happened very quickly. Her head spun. Her hands began to shake, the way they always did when she was having a breakdown. She screamed for her best friend, screamed at the TV, screamed at the world for being so cruel. She couldn't get the image out of her head-Meghan lying lifelessly on the floor of her apartment-a bullet hole embedded in her chest, her green eyes growing more distant with each second.

She fell to her knees. Everything was over. It was all over. The frustration…the pain…everything hurt so badly. She couldn't have done anything to save her. One of her best friends was dead. Just like that. She wanted to cry. She wanted to scream more. She wanted to stomp and yell and hear something besides the ringing of her ears. She wanted to run all the way over to Hollywood and slap Samheed for not even supporting her and Alex. He probably didn't even know what happened to Meghan. She wanted to feel something besides loneliness and exhaustion and sorrow again.

She staggered back into a ball, making herself as small as possible. I've always been small, came an unnecessary thought in the back of her mind. Instead of pushing the thought away, she embraced it. Yes, she'd always been small. And small was for the weak. Was that was she was, now? Weak? Her fingers tangled in her hair as she tried to take deep, calming breaths. Her shoulders shook as she shielded her face from the cruel world, her head buried in her knees. She repeated a constant string of "no's" over and over again. She wished with all her heart to turn back time and do everything over again. She wanted to do a rerun. Redo all the mistakes she's done. Could she even forgive herself for not being there to save Meghan? But she forced herself to think the logical way-the way she always used to. She wasn't a time traveler. She wasn't a warrior. She wasn't a savior or a hero. She was a girl. And she couldn't scream anymore...not even if she wanted to.

After a while she looked up into the tall, wall length mirror in front of her.

She studied herself for a moment. With her blue irises red from crying, her unbrushed dark hair in her hands, and her exhausted expression, all she wanted to do was jump in one of her favorite books and stay there forever, never to return to the real world again.

Slow.

That was the way things were now. The way they seemed...all the time. Slow to get out of bed in the morning. Slow to tune into what the professors were saying during classes. Slow to walk. Slow to fall asleep.

Within the past week, everything seemed sluggish to Lani. Studying took more time than usual, but she'd convinced herself it was only because she was tired, not because of grief. Even still, it took effort to move. Every day felt like drowning, and she was struggling to rise back to the surface.

On the outside, she remained to act as normal as she could, faking a smile now and then when someone would talk to her. She wasn't sure anyone else had heard about Meghan's death. Although it was on the news, she had a feeling no one knew she was friends with her. But that wouldn't help her. She didn't want all that sympathy directed towards her. She'd already dealt with her mother dying when she was thirteen years old. That had been enough.

Lani exited the stairway, running her hand along the rail as another held her backpack. She'd just finished another exhausting day of classes, and while she could've always stayed in her dorm room and worked from there, she preferred asking her professors any questions directly. She hurried to the main entrance of the building she was in. After opening the heavy wooden door with some difficulty, she wasn't surprised at all to see a fresh snowfall littering the campus. It had been snowing constantly for nearly two days straight.

She decided to take a walk. After all, she had nowhere to be. That would help her clear her head and simply walking around campus would feel nice. The snowflakes falling on her face was almost refreshing after staying inside the warm, almost stuffy buildings.

She shivered as the cold hit her exposed face and ears. She was bundled up in her college hoodie, jeans, tall brown combat boots, and a gray beanie. She hastily pulled her hat farther down her face to shield it any better.

Lani wandered around, lost in her own thoughts, when an unexpected ringing noise blared from her backpack. She jumped a little, as the silence was broken. She quickly took her bag off her shoulders and tore open the zipper. She dug around and finally found her phone in between two of the books she was reading. There was no time to close her backpack up yet. She tapped the answer button without checking the caller and held it to her ear.

"Yes?" she asked, partly out of breath. With her free hand, she closed her bag up and threw it over her shoulder.

"Lani!" the voice said. It sounded like Alex. "I haven't talked to you since..."

Lani nodded and started up on walking again. She'd missed hearing his voice, even if it was only over the phone. It was something Samheed never did anymore.

"I know," she said.

"It isn't okay what happened," he said. "It's been hard getting over this...especially so soon to Christmas."

Lani took a straggling breath. "Yeah. I actually might've forgotten it was going to be Christmas in two days."

"Might've? How can you forget about Christmas of all things?"

Despite her mood, Lani felt a tiny smile form on her face. "I guess I haven't been thinking lately."

"I get what you mean. Do you think Samheed heard?"

She swallowed hard. "No. I don't know. H-he hasn't talked to me. He hasn't called in ages. I need-"

"He hasn't been calling me either-"

She turned a corner and walked down to the center of campus: always a nice place to sit around. It had a water fountain that was always running when it wasn't cold out, a few benches, and a large garden surrounding it. More people were walking around this part of campus.

"He doesn't even make time to talk to me anymore! All he cares about now is his movie! Not his friends. Not me!"

With every word, Lani felt her thoughts and worries pouring out. They'd been bottled up for so long. Once she let them out, she couldn't stop.

"Are you-" Alex tried to ask, but Lani cut him off again.

"He's so obsessed with his movie he doesn't even care about the outside world! He's going to be famous, and he won't even know Meghan is dead. Our best friend!"

"I-"

"No," she said bitterly, hot tears forming in her eyes. "Sam doesn't even know. And even if he did, I don't think he'd have time to call."

"But-"

"It's like every best friend I've had has left me! First Samheed with his acting career, t-then Meghan."

She sniffled and peered up into the gray sky, allowing snowflakes to fall softly on her face. Tears began to fall across her cheeks, but she didn't wipe them away. It felt good to cry and let her emotions out for a change. She didn't care anymore if people gave her weird or concerned looks as they passed. She might've been the type of person to wear her heart on her sleeve, but she didn't often cry in public.

"And next," she continued, gasping through her words. "And n-next..you. Something will happen and you'll leave me, and all my best friends will be gone."

"That's not true!" Alex cried. "No, Lani, you can't believe-"

"It's true-!"

This time, he cut her off completely. "I understand what your feeling! I'm going through all this too. But you have to know I'm not leaving you. I'm right here."

"No you're not!" Lani said, her voice rising as she became more distressed. "It's already been two of our closest friends that we've lost! Now you!"

"LANI!" he practically shouted in her ear. She finally stopped talking altogether, taking deep breaths and trying to calm her straying emotions.

"What?" she said quietly.

"I'm won't ever leave you," he said calmly. "I'm right here."

"But..." she muttered.

"Tell me the truth. Are you okay?"

Lani stared into the white hills of snow all over campus. She thought about everything that had happened. Her roommate who could hardly speak English, the months of feeling neglected, the feeling of having no friends, being so far away from home, Samheed starring in a movie, and finally, Meghan's death. She'd been lying every time she'd said she was okay. The first few months of college had been hard. Life hadn't been fun in a while. She had to face the facts.

"No," she answered finally, choking to speak through her sobs. "I'm not. I'm not okay. I'm pretty sure you've known this by now. I'm so lonely, Alex. I need you."

She heard something that resembled a sigh and a small laugh from Alex. "And you don't have to need me any longer. I'm here."

Lani blinked. "What do you mean?"

"Turn around."

She whipped around. Surrounding the fountain and gardens were many people walking around and talking. Her eyes scanned the area, until she caught sight of someone waving from a bench next to a large tree. Her heart jumped in her throat as a huge grin spread across the young man's face. He jumped up as soon as her eyes locked with his, and he stuffed his phone in his coat pocket. Tears stung her eyes as she found herself walking, and then running, then full on sprinting towards her remaining best friend. She ran as fast as her short legs could carry her, and she was grateful when he ran towards her as well. A grin was on her face now, her hair flying after her. He spread his arms wide open as she raced towards him, her heart racing a mile a minute.

She banged straight into Alex at full force, laughing and sobbing as he threw his arms around her. She unpinned her arms from her sides and hugged him back tighter than she'd ever hugged anyone. As she clung to him, she felt her resolve strengthening. They'd both been through a lot. She gasped in surprise as she felt herself being lifted into the air, and soon he was swinging her around in their embrace. She closed her eyes, her remaining tears fading into his chest. All at once, the gray world turned colorful. Her best friend was here.

Alex Stowe was here.

Finally, he set her down. His hands rested gently on her arms, the grin still on his face. "I told you I was here!"

Lani couldn't help smacking his arm. She also couldn't help the joyous smile that wouldn't go away. He was actually here! "You are a dolt."

Alex laughed and patted her on the head. He was still a good head taller than her, maybe even taller due to her boots. His hair was cut shorter than the last time she'd seen it, but those warm brown eyes of his never changed. Besides his winter coat, he wore paint-stained corduroy pants and a colorful scarf around his neck.

"I know. You've told me that a lot. I've also noticed that girls cry a lot."

Lani snorted. She could see his eyes watering too. "Girls are allowed to cry, boys are just too stubborn to."

Alex rolled his eyes, the bright smile not fading. "Hey, now that I'm here and all, I think it'd be fun if we celebrated Christmas together. Me and Aaron are renting a house together and you can stay with us!"

Lani grinned. Her eyes were still filled with tears that threatened to spill. But this time, they weren't tears of distress. "You don't even know how amazing that sounds. Of course I want to! But I can't believe you're actually even here!"

Alex put his arm around her in a side hug. "I'm here because I'm your best friend, that's why. Nobody is leaving you. From now on, you won't be sad, okay? Because if you're sad and you start crying again, Samheed will decide I'm abusive or something."

Lani laughed. "I don't cry!"

To make even more of a point, a few tears rolled down her cheeks. She wiped them away once she noticed Alex watching with an amused expression.

"Obviously," Alex joked. "Think positive. I'm going to force you to have so much fun and we're going to bake stuff together and go out singing Christmas carols even though Sky, of all people, says my voice sounds like a dying whale."

Lani tried very hard not to laugh at that. She wiped her face again. "That's a lot of optimism."

"I'm optimistic like that."

She sniffled and stared into the large and frosted water fountain, which had formed long, thin icicles at the bottom. "Sorry for crying all over you. I don't know what came over me."

"Don't apologize! You're under a lot of stress." He was staring into the water fountain too. "Plus," he added with a growing sly smile she couldn't quite see. "Alexander Stowe does have a way with the ladies."

This time, Lani couldn't hold back her laughter. She lightly punched his arm and decided to change to topic to their Christmas plans. For the first time in a long while, excitement and happiness took away her bad thoughts. It was hard to be crying anymore. "Sooooo, what kind of cookies do you want to bake?"

He looked at her and beamed. He seemed glad she was focusing on better things than heartbreak and grief. "Every kind! Chocolate chip, sugar, m&m, exedra."

"And we have to make cake! And I'll force you to have a dance party with me to make the neighbors jealous."

Alex smiled, his eyes as warm and happy as hers. He linked his arm with hers and pulled her along the garden pathway. "Look at you being optimistic."

Lani finally felt at peace again. The past few months had been hard, but she had to heal. So did Alex. And there was a lot of time to recover and grow. Every moment shouldn't be wasted sulking. She'd done enough of that. But with him, she had more strength to get better. Her best friend was with her, and that was all that mattered. Things might change later on, and Samheed might open up more time to see them, but for now, it was best to look up. She had Alex, and with him, she couldn't feel sad. All that mattered was the present, just having fun and living out this rocky adventure. Things had been tough, and even now she wasn't fully recovered from the scars of the last few months. She wasn't certain of anything anymore except her strong bond with her remaining best friend. She didn't have to face this alone. Neither did he. They could be mended.

They could mend from this.

She shrugged and gave him a side smile, the cracks in her heart finally starting to put themselves back together. "It beats crying everyday, that's for sure."