Keith paused in the hall outside the kitchen, sniffing the air. Is that…?

The kitchen was almost always filled with interesting fragrances thanks to Hunk's cooking, although the paladins had usually never smelled most of them before. This time, however, Keith had been arrested on his way to the training deck by a scent that was tantalizingly familiar. There was no way the yellow paladin had managed to concoct such a beloved dish from space ingredients. No way. Absolutely.

Right?

Curiosity overcame logic, and Keith stepped into the kitchen. Hunk was in the act of pulling a tray from the oven, while two more were already cooling on one of the counters. Allura waved from her perch on another counter as the red paladin entered. "Hi Keith, Hunk was just introducing me to this earth dish. It is quite delicious!"

Keith looked from the princess, to the pizzas, to the grinning yellow paladin, and walked slowly up to stand directly in front of Hunk. The other boy's smile became slightly nervous as he approached. "Uh, Keith, what are you—"

Keith put his hands on Hunk's shoulders and gave him a light shake. "You. Are. Amazing."

"I mean, thanks, but I only cooked some pizza—"

"That's not cooking, that's sorcery." Keith released his friend to stare at the perfect, round, beautiful pizzas that covered the counter. "Hunk, we're in space, a billion miles from anything any normal person would use to make pizza. This—" He waved a hand at the edible glory in front of him. "I can't even… you're fantastic, you know that, right?"

"Uh, sure, buddy." Hunk looked a bit dazed by the praise but held out a plate with a hopeful grin. "You want some?"

"Oh yeah." Keith's mouth watered as he looked over the pizzas, trying to decide which to have first. Hunk had put different toppings on each, and while they looked a bit different from those on Earth that one was probably space pepperoni, and that one was mushrooms and onions, and that one—

He paused in the act of reaching for a slice and scowled down at one of the pizzas, from which a couple slices were already missing. "What is this?"

"He called it pineapple pizza," said Allura, and now that Keith was looking he saw that the slice she held came from the offending dish. "I quite like it!"

"You…" Keith swiveled toward Hunk. "You've tainted pizza for the rest of the universe by making pineapple pizza?"

"Hey, don't bash pineapple pizza!" the yellow paladin protested. "It's a unique dish with its own special qualities!"

"It's an abomination to the whole idea of pizza!" Keith swept a hand toward Allura, who looked mildly alarmed by this turn of events. "And now you've corrupted an innocent Altean, too!"

"I'm not corrupted!" the princess objected. "I'm just enjoying his cooking! What's so bad about pineapple pizza?"

"It—you—gah!" Keith turned and marched toward the door. Hunk stared after him.

"Hey, where are you going? I thought you wanted pizza!"

"Getting some backup!"

The red paladin's first thought was to find Shiro. After all, the older man had helped and supported him for years; they relied on each other implicitly. But when he finally located his friend on the bridge and told him what had transpired, Shiro only brightened. "He made pineapple pizza? That's amazing! I hope Allura leaves some for me!"

Keith gaped as the black paladin headed eagerly toward the kitchen. "But—you—that's—it's pineapple pizza!"

Shiro blinked at him, realization dawning. "Hang on, are you one of those pineapple pizza haters?"

"Yes!"

"Why? It's delicious!"

Keith stared at the other paladin, contemplated this utter betrayal, and turned on his heel. "Fine. Go enjoy your disgusting excuse for food. I'm gonna go find the others."

He came across Pidge next, but she proved almost as unhelpful. "I mean, I don't like it myself," she said with a shrug, "but that's just me. I'm not bothered if other people want to eat it. Hunk made pizza, though?" she grinned up at him. "That's awesome! Think there's enough for me?"

"Yeah, sure, go knock yourself out." Keith watched her disappear toward the kitchen and growled under his breath. Two potential allies, either a traitor to the cause or refusing to offer support. His was a lonely position, it seemed.

"Wow, Keith, you're making Grumpy Cat look cheerful."

The red paladin looked over his shoulder. Lance had popped his head out of his room and was staring at him, one eyebrow raised. "Aw, thanks, buddy, your just too considerate."

"Oh, I know, always. What's the problem?"

"Hunk made pizza."

"He did?" Lance grinned eagerly and set off in a trot down the hall. "Awesome! Let's go have some!" He hesitated, then, shooting Keith a puzzled look. "Wait, how come pizza has you all gloomy? Are you some kind of pizza-hating creepazoid?"

"What? No!" Keith rolled his eyes. Seriously, Lance? "He made pineapple pizza."

The blue paladin halted completely. "He did what."

"Yeah. And guess what? It's Allura's favorite."

"He gave that quiznaking excuse for pizza to—" Lance made a face that bore striking resemblance to a tea kettle about to boil over. "Ooh, when I get my hands on him—"

"And Shiro likes it too."

"Well, that's it, then. We're deposing him as black paladin."

The two boys marched back into the kitchen side by side, glowering at the pizza party now in full swing around the counter. Lance headed straight for Hunk, arms akimbo. "Hey, dude, what were you thinking? Pineapple pizza, seriously?"

"Not you too," groaned the yellow paladin. "Look, just 'cause you don't like it doesn't mean I can't make it!"

"It's a disgrace to the name of pizza!" Lance flung up his hands. "It's disgusting, and an abomination, and you shouldn't have inflicted it upon poor, innocent Altean taste buds!"

"Well, I don't like pizza at all, so it doesn't bother me." Coran twirled his mustache, watching the proceedings with interest. "The sauce doesn't agree with me."

"Then you're just weird," Pidge grinned at him. "Really though, Lance, chill. It's not a big deal. Just get your own pizza."

"No, I won't chill," Lance huffed right back. "You shouldn't put fruit on pizza!"

Hunk bridled at that. "It's a complex combination of flavors, and it's very unique and lots of people enjoy it."

"Yeah, I've always liked how the sweet and savory combine." Shiro took a bite of his own slice and continued talking around it, provoking an amused twitch of the lips from Allura. "Especially when you've got lots of cheese, and maybe some ham. It's kinda like cranberry sauce with turkey."

Their cook waved his arms toward their leader. "Thank you, Shiro! See? He likes it!"

Keith smirked and folded his arms. "Hey, nobody's perfect."

"Come on, guys," Shiro protested with a heaven-help-me look upward, "I think you're taking this a bit too seriously. Lance, Keith, why don't you just get your own pizza and let us enjoy ours?"

"You don't understand, Shiro!" Lance mimicked Keith's posture, sticking out his chin belligerently. "Food is morale, and having such morale-destroying stuff around the Castle will tear the team apart!"

The black paladin blinked at him with an expression that said in exactly what reality does that even make sense? Allura stiffened in alarm. "Wait, is pineapple pizza dangerous? Can it really—"

"No, it can't hurt you, or team bonds, or anything else." Pidge narrowed her eyes at Lance. "Somebody is just being a drama queen."

"See, normally, I'd be the first one to agree with that," Keith said with a shrug. "But this time I kinda have to agree. Pineapple pizza should not be a thing. It takes two perfectly appetizing foods and mashes them together in some sort of violation of the laws of nature."

"There, see?" Lance waved an arm toward the red paladin. "Keith's agreeing with me, and you guys know how often that happens. So we must be right!"

Hunk groaned and thumped his head on the counter. "There are so many things wrong with that logic, I don't even know where to start."

"Guys." Shiro looked between the boys with a mild frown. "This is getting a little ridiculous."

"Well, that's because pineapple pizza is ridiculous!" Lance fired back. "We should just put the stuff out the airlock and be done with it!"

Keith shook his head. "No, that would contaminate space. We should incinerate it first."

"Nuh-uh!" Hunk snatched up a spatula and brandished it at them. "You are not spacing my pizza! Or incinerating it!"

"Oh really?" Lance smirked and reached for a mixing spoon, flourishing it dramatically. "En garde!"

He jumped at the yellow paladin, who yelped in surprise and flung up his hands to defend himself. The two chased each other around the counter, thwacking away with their respective utensils as Pidge cackled and Shiro put his head down on the counter with a resigned groan. Allura blinked at the dueling boys' antics. "Is this sort of thing normal when humans argue about food?"

"Not really," Shiro mumbled into the countertop. "Keith, why did you have to encourage this?"

"This is a matter of truth, justice, and the American way, Shiro," the red paladin answered seriously. "If a battle to the death is necessary to resolve it, then so be it."

The older man lifted his head enough to shoot Keith a glare. Keith smirked back, and with a resigned sigh Shiro hauled himself to his feet and headed for the squabbling pair. "Come on, now, guys, knock it off, that's enough…"

Lance and Hunk ignored him, and as Shiro continued to try to break up the fight Keith's eyes lit on a dishtowel left to dry beside the sink. He glanced over at his leader's exposed back, and grinned.

Grab, step, shove.

"Gaah!"

Shiro arched his back with a yelp as the wet towel went down the back of his shirt. He managed to extract it after a moment of frenzied scrabbling and narrowed his eyes after Keith, who grinned as he backpedaled toward the door. The black paladin smirked at him, and pounced.

They crashed to the floor in a tangle of arms and legs, each one trying to gain the upper hand. Shiro had the advantages of height and weight, but Keith was wiry, and they'd sparred plenty of times in younger years and since coming the Castle and had a good measure of each other's strengths and tactics. The towel seesawed between them as they mostly tried to grind it into each other's faces. Keith scored particularly well when Shiro's laughter got the better of him and Keith managed to cram part of the towel into his mouth. The older man sputtered and spat, wrinkling his nose at the feel of terrycloth on his tongue, and tried to put Keith in a headlock. "You're gonna pay for that!"

Keith squirmed away and hooked a leg around his friend's knee, trapping it against the ground. "Not if I pin you first."

"Pin me, huh?" Shiro snorted. But his eyes were narrowed with humor as much as challenge as he twisted and grabbed at the red paladin's shoulders. The pair vied for position, each fighting to drive the other to the floor. Both were breathing hard and grinning like maniacs, almost nose to nose as they tried to wrestle each other's shoulders to the ground.

"Never mind, guys, I actually do like pizza!"

Coran's announcement might not have attracted their attention by itself. It was, however, accompanied by a rather spectacular gagging noise. That more than anything caused Shiro and Keith to pause in their contest to look for the noise's cause. Out of the corner of his eye Keith saw that Lance and Hunk had also hesitated in their duel, the blue paladin now wielding a pot lid as a shield in addition to his spoon.

Pidge gagged again, her hand clamped over her mouth and nose. Even Allura looked mildly disgusted as Coran happily munched on a piece of pizza covered in—

"Coran." Hunk sounded like he was either utterly horrified or in actual pain. Maybe both. "What did you put on that?"

"Oh, I added some gubberlabs!" The Altean waved his concoction in Hunk's direction. "You had a good start, I will admit, but it was missing something. The gubberlabs did the trick—just the right bit of flavor!"

The paladins gaped at Coran's pizza, now liberally sprinkled with the worms he'd tried to feed them shortly after they'd arrived at the Castle, and exchanged looks. Keith turned to Shiro and held out his hand. "A truce on pineapple pizza."

The black paladin returned the shake, grip firm. "Agreed. I think we have more important things to focus on."

Five pairs of eyes swiveled toward Coran, who blinked at them and inched backward against the counter. "Uh, guys, what are you doing?"

"Defending the universe." Hunk brandished his spatula as he advanced on the hapless Altean. "We're the paladins of Voltron. That's what we do."

"Er, no, I'm no threat, just a fellow enjoying his meal… Princess, make them stop!"

"I don't know, Coran." Allura folded her arms, tilting her head to regard him with a slight smirk. "I think I have to agree with the paladins on this one."

"But… but… that's not fair!"

Lance leaped onto the counter, stabbing the air with his mixing spoon. "Let's get him!"

Coran yelped and fled down the hall with the five paladins hot on his heels, the laughing princess trailing behind them all.

In the end, Lance and Pidge sat on the Altean advisor while Shiro and Allura looked on in amusement and Keith deposited the offending pizza in the airlock. The red paladin then swept a mock bow to Hunk. "Will you do the honors?"

"With pleasure."

Coran let out a wail as their resident chef gleefully opened the airlock doors. "No, my beautiful creation!"

The others ignored him. Pidge clambered off the ginger to watch the pizza float away into space. "Good riddance. That stuff was disgusting."

"I'll say." Hunk wiped his hands on his pants, eying the disappearing pizza with vengeful satisfaction. "Still, I think all that running around has made me hungry. Anyone want some more pizza? Normal pizza?"

"You're always hungry, buddy." Lance allowed Coran to get off the floor. "But yeah, I could go for some."

Keith grinned. "Just so long as it's not pineapple pizza."

"Hey, more for me, man," Hunk shrugged. "I've got this one with this kinda ham thing that you've just gotta try."

"No worms, right?"

"No worms, I swear to Voltron."

While it was not the original inspiration for this scene, I used The Fake Redhead's writing prompt #416, "That's not cooking, that's sorcery." She's got a whole bunch of fantastic dialogue prompts; I highly recommend you check her out!

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