-x- Chapter Two -x-

Duffy finished writing up her patient's vital observations, and put the chart down at the side of the bed.

"I'll be back soon, try and relax, the fluids will help." She said, and smiled at her patient softly.

Duffy put her pen back into her top pocket, and looked over at Robyn and David. She needed to write up her patient's notes on the computer, but really didn't want to have to deal with them today. She just wanted to get on with her job, and leave. She knew the stone cold silences and harsh looks, she'd received over the passed few weeks from her colleagues were down to Charlie. And in her heart she couldn't blame him or them for it at all. Hearing him chastise them all earlier, she knew now why the staff were being more distant with her. They knew his new behaviour was down to her, and also how much his rage and annoyance was affecting the staff, as well as it affected him. She knew wanted nothing more than to speak to him, to explain everything to him. But she feared he wouldn't listen, his anger was his defence mechanism, and knew he'd take it out on everyone it was his way to cope with it all. She couldn't let him go on like this though, it was her fault he felt this way, not the staff. So she decided to bite the bullet and speak to him. She walked down the corridor and into reception towards his office.

She knocked on the door and heard him shout, "what?", she sighed and opened the door.

"I'm busy, can't it wait?" He said, as he didn't even acknowledge he knew who was in the room.

"I don't think so do you?" Duffy said to him softly, and folded her arms at him.

He took in a deep breath, upon hearing her voice.

"I'm busy Duffy." He replied sharply, not looking at her.

"We need to talk Charlie." She frowned at him.

"No, I don't think we do." He answered sarcastically.

"You can't go on like this Charlie. You're taking it out on everyone. It's my fault, not theirs."

He sighed at her, he knew she was right.

"Are you done?"

"No, I'm not done. I'm not going to stop trying to sort this out between us Charlie. I made a mistake. At least give me a chance to explain. You need to know the full story. The things that will be going through your head..."

"What like picturing you in bed with Bill. Believe me, when I saw him touch you that's all that went through my head. You have no idea how much it..." Charlie balled his hand into a fist.

"I'm sorry Charlie, please just let me explain. It was a stupid, stupid mistake. I love you. Please, you have to..."

Charlie turned to look at her.

"Just leave me alone! I can't bare to look at you!"

"Charlie please, don't."

"Just go!" He shouted at her.

Tears filled her eyes as she turned to open the door and ran out through reception.

David was walking down the corridor as he saw Duffy run out of the double doors into the car park.

He then looked over at Charlie's office, and saw him slam the door shut, his face full of rage.

David swallowed, this was going to be a lot harder than he thought. Maybe Charlie didn't need to know right now, that one of the x-ray machines was out of order, causing delays today.

David turned and looked at the double doors, and decided he could at least try and help Duffy, so he walked off in the direction of the car park.

He saw her sat in the far corner of the peace garden, her back to everyone, her head in her hands.

He walked up to her and coughed slightly.

Duffy paused, and turned to look up at him, she sighed, and looked away.

"Can I help?"

She sighed again.

"No." She replied sharply.

David sighed, and took a seat next to her.

"It just takes time." He said to her.

"I can't do this." She whispered at him.

"He just needs some space."

"He hates me. I deserve it." She finally said, as she looked at him, tears filled her eyes.

"He doesn't hate you. He's hurting that's all."

"I've caused him so much pain."

"It isn't easy, being that person who causes that pain."

She turned to look at him.

"We all make mistakes. That's life. But, you need to understand his pain. That's the only way you can get through this. Get him to listen."

"I know how much it hurts David. I just never thought I could do that to him."

"You love him don't you?"

"Of course I love him. I've loved him for so many years, even when I shouldn't have."

"What do you mean, 'when you shouldn't have'?"

"It's complicated."

"Oh, yes, your ex-husband."

"Oh, yes, yes. Ryan. Him too."

"What do you mean 'him too'?"

"You don't need to hear me go on like this do you? I should..." She tries to get up and leave.

"What do you mean Duffy? How long have you been in love with Charlie for?"

"Thirty years David, just over thirty years."

"Oh. But you were married before Ryan weren't you?"

Duffy looked at him sheepishly, and nodded.

"Does he know? That whole time you...?"

"How can I tell him that? He was married too." She replied, and walked off, away from David, from the conversation, from the reality of it all.

How could she tell him that? Whilst she was married to Andrew, and he was married to Baz, she was in love with him too? That would only upset him. As it upset her. And Charlie knowing that, whilst he struggled with his own marriage to Baz, poor Baz, he'd lost her then in their divorce. And then forever when she died a few years later. How could she tell him that she loved him for that long? Longer even. She couldn't do that to him. Dull the memories of Baz for him. It hurt her too, that memory of Andrew, for all his faults and flaws she loved Andrew. But, she loved Charlie too. So much more than she had ever loved Andrew, Ryan, Mike, all of her exes. How could she tell him that now she'd broken his heart. That heart that had told her that exact same thing. "I married the love of my life", oh God Charlie, "I married the love of my life too", I just wish I could tell you that!

A stray tear ran down her cheek once again, as she rubbed it from her cheek, as she then straightened her tunic, took a deep breath in and out. Then walked back into the E.D. to do her job. Later there would be time for regrets. She needed to do her job, take her mind off it all.

-x-