I probably should have expected this to get harder, the more competent the person.
Luckey, Lon'qu has an easily exploitable weakness!
"..."
Robin looked at the silent swordsman. "Lonny, do you know why I called you here?" he asked.
"...Do not call me that." Lon'qu said.
"Lon-bon," Robin said, ignoring him, "I'm afraid that I'm probably gonna have to let you go. You're sword skills are extremely impressive. You're probably the most badass person I know. You are also like the Batman of this group."
"Who?" Lon'qu said. "And also?"
"The problem," Robin said, ignoring him yet again, "is that your fear of women makes it extremely difficult to pair you off with the other Shepherds. I mean, what if a healer is coming up to you, and you run away in fear? With a broken leg?"
"That is wrong." Lon'qu said. "I will defend anybody on the battlefield, regardless of gender. Ever since I got married, I've gotten better with women."
Robin pulled out a few sheets from under his desk. "Alright, if what you say is true, how do these make you feel?" He asked, holding up one of the sheets.
Lon'qu's eye's widened. "W-Why do you have that?" He stuttered.
"I wanted to see if you built up a tolerance." Robin replied.
"Why would I need to see- What does that even have to do with battle?!" Lon'qu stammered, nearly falling out of his chair.
"You never know what's gonna happen on the battlefield…" Robin replied.
"Who did you even get to pose for this!?"
"Wouldn't you like to know." Robin replied. "Does this make you feel uncomfortable?"
"Yes." Lon'qu replied. "But I'm sure, given the situation, it would make anybody uncomfortable. What does this have to do with battle?"
"Well," Robin explained. "If seems that your fear of women is pretty common knowledge. In my opinion, that's not good. It's like how everybody knows that Superman's weakness is Kryptonite. If I were him, I would keep that shit under wraps. You know what I'm saying?"
Lon'qu glared at Robin.
"...Right. Anyways, say some warlord hears about you leading a small force against his stronghold. If he needed to, he could litter his army with armed, nude women. While this would be distracting to most soldiers, it would completely incapacitate you."
"That hardly sounds convenient." Lon'qu commented. "If they were not armed, they could easily be taken out by arrow fire."
"Yeah, but if he wanted to take out the one Shepherd in the group, he would only need one." Robin said.
"If somebody were to approach me in combat, nude or not, I would…" Lon'qu paused. "...You know."
"Yup." Robin replied. "I needed to know what caused you to be afraid of women, so I asked around."
"Who told you?" Lon'qu asked.
"Her parents." Robin replied.
"...I understand what you are trying to say." Lon'qu admitted. "It would be difficult to have a powerful soldier with an obvious weakness. I will work to get rid of it."
"Good." Robin said. "Now, I can recommend a few places that can help you get over that fear." He handed Lon'qu a list. "Now, they aren't what you would call 100% legal, but they get the job done."
"I-I don't think Cordelia would approve of this…" The swordsman stuttered.
"Sure she would. Just talk to her about it. She'll understand." Robin replied. "Now go out there and get some pussy! Let me know when you got over it, cause you really are a badass swordsman that this team needs!"
Lon'qu left the office, and Robin sighed.
"Well, pulled that outta my ass." He looked at the sheet he showed Lon'qu. "How can she bend like that…?"
Yup. Remember, not all good, but they will all be done.
My system has been to make the interviewee crazy if possible, or, if they are too reasonable of a Shepherd, have Robin be the crazy one. It works pretty well.
Up next: Maribelle