Snowdin

Even at a brisk walking pace the rest of the tunnel passed by in an unremarkable silence that left me with plenty of time to think. Too much time, in fact.

I tried to busy myself by staying alert and aware of the surroundings, watching for ambushes that never came. There was a brief moment where I walked up to a grassy patch and tensed, feeling an acute sense of danger that the flower might come back and I should be ready to blow its head off.

But nothing happened. I walked over the grass, through a cracked stone arch, and threw a glance back to confirm that everything was just as empty as before. And it was. The only thing in the underground clearing was me, a spirit that wasn't in much of a mood to talk, and the kind of thoughts that only crop up whenever you kill someone who probably didn't deserve to die.

If you don't know what that's like, good. I hope you never have to make the kind of decisions I did.

I stepped in front of a pair of cracked and heavy purple doors that looked older than most Vaults, and I pushed. Despite its ancient appearance, it swung open noiselessly with little effort on my part and revealed two things, both of which set me on alert immediately. The first was a near-desolate, snowy landscape. A snowbank and sheer cliff was opposite a line of dead trees so withered and brown they wouldn't have looked out of place in some parts of the Mojave.

"What the hell," I muttered, blinking. Since when did caves have their own weather systems?

The second thing was-

"There's a camera hidden in that bush," Chara noticed.

I didn't look at it directly so as to avoid tipping off whoever was looking, but I spotted the lenses peeking out behind branches at about the same time as Chara. Just to test, I put on a brief show of looking around and pretended not to notice the fact that the camera followed my movements.

Great, we're being tracked and I can't even tell who's doing it.

And unlike the tunnels of the ruins the cavern ceiling here was high above everything, sporting a bright, but not blinding, yellow light at the top of the rocky ceiling that couldn't have led to the surface, couldn't have been the real sun. I didn't even bother to ask Chara about there being snow or the small artificial star in an underground chamber so big it had its own weather system. I'm sure the answer was just 'monster magic' anyways.

The kid shrugged, "I mean, you're not far off."

Yeah I don't even know why I ask questions anymore. I started walking on the path in front of me before-

Hey, do you hear that?

"Oh, you're hearing things again?" Chara asked, and it might be a little mocking but I was just glad they're talking again after what happened in the Ruins. Even if their voice sounded a little more distant, and I don't mean volume-wise.

By the way, I don't even think I heard anything just then. It just felt like there was something lurking around here, that 'someone's looking at you but you can't see them' feeling, and that's not a sense you want to make a habit of ignoring.

I looked forward. Snow and dead trees. A bridge of some sort was up ahead.

I looked behind me. Snow and dead trees. The door to the ruins, and a branch I'd walked by a few seconds ago. Nothing new.

"Don't take this the wrong way pal, but you might just be paranoid."

Maybe they were right. I turned away.

The branch behind me snapped loudly, and I fought not to whirl around and shoot whoever was there. Instead, I paused and turned slowly. Only enough to see the shattered twig in my peripheral vision and not enough to clue whoever was around that I was looking for them. My helmet flickered through vision modes, but the entire forest was a cold midnight blue devoid of any heat signatures on thermal, and I didn't bother trying nightvision. Even if the cavern's magical sun wasn't that bright, I'd just get blinded from all the light reflecting off the snow.

Speaking of snow, a chilling wind blew through the area, making me shiver and pull the longcoat closer. Years in the Mojave hadn't done wonders for my cold tolerance, and this climate was just about the opposite of a desert.

"You okay?" Chara asked as they appeared at my side, concerned.

I nodded. I'd been to Jacobstown and the Deep Creek Mountains in Utah. A little cold weather was nothing more than a discomfort. I'm more worried with whoever's stalking us.

"If you say so," they said, shrugging their shoulders as they-

Alright, I didn't ask earlier because I didn't care and it didn't seem important, especially now when someone is definitely watching us. But at this point it's getting kind of old to keep referring to you as 'they'. Are you a boy or a girl?

Of all the things I've said and done, I didn't expect that to garner such a hostile response. Chara's face dripped like spent oil and bloodied skin, glaring at me as if I just murdered their mother. "Why's that so important to you?" they growled out.

Jeez, fine. You don't want to tell me, I got it. I was just asking because like I said, it's a little annoying to keep thinking of you as 'kid' or 'they'.

"This coming from someone called 'Courier Six' or some variation of it," they shot back, but their face had normalized. Slightly.

Fine, point taken. We both have names that aren't very convenient to refer to mentally.

Chara sighed, whether in sympathy or frustration, it was hard to tell. "I know. Look, everyone's got their issues, and I don't want to talk about mine right now. Maybe not ever. I doubt you want to talk about yours."

Ain't that the truth. I was halfway through working on an apology for the whole thing when I heard the distinct sound of a footstep scraping on snow, directly behind me.

I sneak up on entire packs of deathclaws, wipe out Legion encampments without ever being seen by anyone but the last man standing, and the first thing in here catches me by surprise. I was getting sloppy.

"You."

It was a low voice that was more felt than heard, like a subsonic rumble, and my hands twitched as I fought the urge to drive a knife through the ribs of whoever it was that decided to stand behind me.

"Why are you so tense? Just turn around and shake my hand. Come on, buddy…"

I turned around with one hand on my holster and the other on Blood-Nap's grip-

Wait, what the fuck?

"…It's rude to give a friend the cold shoulder."

Maybe I should reiterate, because once didn't really cut it; what the fuck.

It was about four feet tall, wearing a blue jacket, shorts, and what I recognized as… slippers? All of these details paled in comparison to the fact I was staring at a living- smiling bleach-white skeleton.

Hell, who knows if it could even be called that. I narrowed my eyes and stared into its own. I've seen more than a few corpses and skeletons, and none of them had a smile that came close to wrapping around the entire skull, or such big eye sockets with a pair of twinkling lights dancing in the center.

"aw c'mon, not even a chuckle? well anyways, sorry for spooking you. i'm sans. sans the skeleton."

I had no idea how to even respond to this. Judging by their speechlessness, neither did Chara.

We stared at each other for a while until he coughed and lowered his arm. "uh, you know buddy, that was supposed to be the part where you shook my hand."

…Fuck it, I already dealt with ghosts and monsters before, this one just happened to look like a skeleton.

"I'm The Courier." At a loss for what else to say, I added, "I'm a human."

Sans didn't so much as move a muscle on his smiling face in acknowledgement. Or a bone, I guess.

Christ. Don't get me wrong, I could accept what was happening in front of me as real. After everything I've been through, this wasn't even close to the strangest thing that ever happened to me.

Didn't make it any easier to process though.

"really?" Sans' voice broke me out of that thought. "because speaking of humans, i'm actually supposed to be on watch for them right now."

Was this a guard? If so, I wasn't too worried about my chances on getting out of here. Still kept a hand on my knife though, I was in no mood to underestimate a potential enemy and get killed for it.

"but having said that, i'm not too enthusiastic about the job. i hear it's a lot of hard work to capture a human, and hard work just isn't my style."

I didn't relax at all.

"but i'm not who you need to be worried about. see, my brother, papyrus, is a sentry out here too. and he's a human-hunting fanatic."

Then your brother was about to retire early, I didn't say.

"don't worry though, he's harmless, even if he tries not to be. say, i think i see him coming this way. come on, follow me. i have a great idea."

I threw a glance at Chara, who made a face as if to say 'might as well', which pretty much summed up how I felt towards this whole thing. I followed the skeleton over a rickety bridge lined with an oddly-spaced series of wooden beams before we stopped at a clearing.

"hm, think you can hide behind that inconveniently-shaped lamp?" Sans asked with a gesture to a lamp, lying in the middle of a clearing.

Truth is, I could hide behind a fucking flagpole and no one would notice. I've done it before.

"Wait, seriously?" Chara asked while I just nodded to the skeleton.

"awesome," the skeleton said, not noticing the spirit. "just stay hidden, act natural, and leave this to me."

Natural. Right, I thought as I crouched behind the lamp. Even staying low, my head was well above the lampshade, but I had a real knack for getting away with remaining undetected when it should have been impossible. And sure enough it wasn't a long wait before a tall figure came sprinting in the distance, rapidly approaching.

I frowned. Hang on, how the hell did Sans see him all the way from back at the bridge if we can barely see him from here?

"Beats me, he kind of creeps me out," Chara said. "And not like Flowey either. This guy's a different kind of weird."

Yeah, I hear you-

"SANS!"

Holy fucking Christ.

"THERE YOU ARE! I WAS JUST FINISHING UP MY PATROL THROUGH THE ENTIRETY OF THE UNDERGROUND WHEN I SAW YOU STILL. HADN'T. RECALIBRATED. YOUR PUZZLES!"

I thought we'd filled our 'what the fuck' quota for the day (and the rest of the week) but apparently I had vastly underestimated the Underground's capacity for being incomprehensibly zany. It was another skeleton monster, and in hindsight, I should have expected that when Sans mentioned a brother. It wore armor that almost resembled the Y-17 trauma harnesses from Big Mountain, but with disproportionately tall and narrow snow-white bones, and more decorative garb, including a red scarf that billowed behind it theatrically. Like something out of a Pre-War comic book.

And it had a voice that… honestly, I don't know how to describe. In stark contrast to Sans' ability to speak without moving at all, this one's teeth chattered like some weird cross between a machinegun and a typewriter.

"WHAT ARE YOU EVEN DOING HERE? BY ALL APPEARANCES YOU'RE JUST STANDING AROUND OUTSIDE YOUR STATION!" the skeleton, that I could only assume was Papyrus, chattered.

"What the shit," Chara muttered softly. I was half tempted to echo that statement because out of all the horrors I'd faced, nothing prepared me for this. I don't think anything could have prepared me. I was almost reminded of when I met the Think Tank, but at least 'brains in a robotic casing', insane as they were, still made sense in some small way.

Sans was completely unfazed.

"oh you know me bro, i'm just chilling out in the snow."

Sans winked right at me, and I wondered how his bones could do that before reminding myself it was either magic or I was going insane, and questioning wouldn't help in either case.

Meanwhile, Papyrus crossed his arms and fumed.

"SANS! THIS IS NO TIME FOR YOUR SILLY PUNS. A HUMAN COULD BE HERE ANY MINUTE! HOW WOULD WE POSSIBLY DETECT AND CAPTURE THEM IF YOU'RE TOO BUSY MAKING JOKES?"

"i dunno, have you tried looking at this lamp? might help."

My confusion gave way to wariness in an instant, and stopped wondering if I was losing my mind and started thinking about how many rounds it would take to kill Sans.

"SANS DON'T BE RIDICULOUS, HOW COULD A LAMP POSSIBLY BE GERMANE TO THE TOPIC AT HAND?" Papyrus asked in exasperation, voice loud enough to mask the 'click' as I pulled the hammer back on the Ranger Sequoia.

Please, Sans. Sell me out. I dare you.

Instead, the short skeleton smiled wider, as if everything was some kind of joke, and leaned forward. "no really, you should take a look at this lamp. it's no ordinary run-of-the-mail light fixture."

"…You've got to be kidding me," Chara said flatly. I lowered the revolver, too stumped to keep aiming.

Papyrus just crossed his arms and glared silently like the pun was a personal offense. Which it was.

"c'mon pap, that one was good. at this rate, i could make a killing from my stand-up courier."

"SANS!"

"relax bro, there's no need to cry over spilled mail.

"SANS!"

"yeah, you're right. if i make one more mail pun, i'll go postal."

"AUGH!" Papyrus stamped a foot down and shouted, even louder than his normal volume. "WHY IS IT THAT A NOBLE AND HEROIC SOON-TO-BE ROYAL GUARD SUCH AS THE GREAT PAPYRUS HAS TO DEAL WITH SUCH A LAZYBONES BROTHER?"

"maybe the lamp will enlighten you."

The taller skeleton huffed- wait, did it even have lungs -and then shook his head. "YOU! ARE! INCORRIGIBLE! I'M GOING TO PREPARE MY RANDOMLY-GENERATED PUZZLES FOR THE DAY, AND YOU HAD BETTER BE THERE SOON TO HELP. THEN ALL MY HOPES AND DREAMS OF BEING A ROYAL GUARD WILL FINALLY BE REALIZED! TODAY'S GOING TO BE THE DAY WE FIND A HUMAN! I CAN FEEL IT…"

Papyrus leaned forward and Sans showed visible activity for the first time in the conversation, looking up to meet his brother's eyes.

"…IN MY BONES. NYEHEHEHEHEH!"

Then he disappeared behind a tree before showing up again with one last "HEH," and ran away.

…What the hell did I just witness?

"he's gone. you can come up now- hey, where'd you go?" Sans asked, looking around.

You know what, never mind. This is just more stuff I can deal with later. There are bigger things to think about right now. I stood up from behind the lamp, slipping the pistol back in its holster before I cleared my throat.

You would think he teleported, the way the skeleton snapped his head back to me. "huh, you're pretty skilled at sneaking."

So I've been told. I just shrugged in reply.

"heh. that's cool. listen though, i hate to ask a favor of someone i just met, especially for putting up with that whole thing just now, but i've been thinking. see, my brother's feeling a little down lately, and i know seeing a human would really cheer him up. so do you think you could just play along with whatever he comes up with? don't worry, it's nothing harmful," he quickly assured me before I had a chance to respond. "just play pretend. thanks a bunch, i'll meet ya up ahead."

Then he walked off in the opposite direction Papyrus had gone, without waiting to see me nod stiffly. The instant he was out of sight, Chara appeared.

So, what do you think?

"I don't trust that guy, if that's what you're asking," they answered. "If you're asking whether or not it might be a trap, I'd go with 'maybe', but I doubt it. Those monsters were… a little more eccentric than the ones I remember, but they aren't really the violent type. Just proceed with caution for now."

Eccentric. Sure, let's go with that. But they have a point, and for all the… I still don't know how the hell to describe Papyrus, but for all his oddities, he didn't seem like a bad sort. I lapsed back into silence and thought, which Chara took as a cue to keep explaining things as my guide.

"There's a small town up ahead, I think," they offered. "It's not too far from here, you could easily make it in a few hours, tops. Just follow the path."

Well, I'm always a fan of good news. My boots crunched on snow as I-

(*Knowing you are ever closer to the exit of the Underground, you are filled with determination.)

I stilled, fighting the urge to take off my helmet and run a hand over my head. It wouldn't be worth letting in the cold air. Chara hovered close and arched a ghostly eyebrow. "What is it?"

Nothing, just the cold. Come on, I don't feel like staying out here for long.

Sans walked towards the door to the Ruins, slightly faster than he normally did.

That 'Courier' human was more than just a little creepy for several reasons, not the least of which was from their refusal to shake his hand, or apparent ability to hide from him in plain sight. No, what was really unsettling was the sheer amount of anger that hung about them, kept in check by who knew what. It was a feeling he could sense whenever he stood next to the human, or looked into those glowing red eyes. A great and terrible mix of fury and control. He had always considered himself a good judge of character, which only made it that much more surprising when apart from acting strangely, the human seemed almost amicable.

The doors loomed ahead, and Sans slowed his pace. Maybe he was just overthinking things, he'd been wrong before. And anyone who could sit through his hilarious jokes and still agree to help with Papyrus couldn't possibly be that bad of a person. He pushed his misgivings about the Courier to the side for the moment. It would take a while for the Courier to catch up with his brother, and besides, he reasoned, if they had gone through the ruins, they had probably met the old lady. And he could always ask for her opinion before making any snap judgements about the human.

After all, he made a promise.

Sans stopped himself at the door, not bothering to check the time to know he was only a few seconds early to a meeting neither he nor the old lady had ever missed.

"i ever tell you how cold it is out here?" he started, pacing in front of the door, "don't worry though, i'm staying warm thanks to all the fur trees out here."

Silence. Not even a chuckle. It was unusual, so completely uncharacteristic that the only possibility was that the old lady just wasn't there. Sans felt a twinge of nervousness run down his spine before glancing at his watch. He was right on time, and while there had been a few occasions where both of them had been running late, they were never more than a minute off.

Trying to ignore the sensation of worry, the skeleton tried again.

"do you ever wonder why butterflies only seem to like black and white movies? it's because they can only see in monarch-chrome."

The Ruins were as silent as a tomb.

Sans suddenly felt like his chest was constricting in on himself as he tried one last time.

"knock knock."

No response. He rapped his knuckles against the stone again.

"knock knock?"

The only sound was the wind, blowing softly. Sans raised his fist to try again, more out of desperation than anything else.

"knock-"

The door swung open before the second knock, almost making the skeleton stumble at the lack of resistance. It wasn't locked.

The door had always been locked.

Sans stared as the purple stone opened to reveal a darkened hallway. He had never given much thought into what lay on the other side, besides the old lady. But he never expected his first trip into the stone tunnels to be like this. And he definitely didn't expect to be filled with so much dread.

It didn't keep him from rushing through the long corridor before coming to another set of purple gates. He didn't bother to push them open, taking a shortcut a few feet into the next area.

There, in the middle of the room, was a pile of dust and two small yellow tubes. It took him only a second to realize just who the dust belonged to, and where the bullet casings on the ground had come from.

Sans walked away from the door to the Ruins, knowing what he had to do.

"SO AS I WAS SAYING ABOUT UNDYNE…"

Chara and I exchanged confused glances.

"Is he… talking to himself?" they asked, looking just as confused as I felt.

Papyrus stood a dozen yards away, still clad in that white and orange armor that looked more decorative than practical. More to the point, he was completely alone, trying to converse with the trees, and was in my way.

I coughed politely and held up a hand to wave. Sans asked me to 'play along' with the guy, and as far as I could tell, it was a harmless request. His brother didn't seem like a malicious sort, and I could definitely sneak by him if he wasn't, so why wouldn't I?

To be honest, I was starting to rethink that decision.

Papyrus's head whipped around the micro-instant I coughed, and he gasped.

"OH MY GOD," the skeleton managed. "ARE YOU… A HUMAN?"

I followed his gaze—which was about twenty degrees away from me—and staring directly at a rock off to the side.

"That's… a rock," I said evenly.

"OH," he said, not even acknowledging me in favor of looking crestfallen at the answer.

I shifted uncomfortably. Somewhere, in the mess of filters, pumps, and circuitry that had replaced my heart, I felt bad. God dammit. I didn't know how old Papyrus was, or how monsters measured age, but there was no denying he was just a kid. And even if knowing I was a human was going to lift his spirits in a few seconds, I still felt like I had spat on his dreams for a moment. It wasn't a pleasant feeling.

"Uh, hey," I tried again. "What's that thing next to the rock?"

Papyrus barely lifted his head, but as soon as I came into view his eye sockets widened. "WAIT… THAT THING IS TOO ODDLY-SHAPED TO BE A ROCK, SO IT MUST BE A LIVING CREATURE. I RECOGNIZE ALL THE MONSTERS IN SNOWDIN AND IT ISN'T ANY OF THEM, SO BY DEDUCTIVE REASONING, IT CAN ONLY BE…"

Papyrus looked in every direction before leaning forward to speak in a tone that wasn't nearly as secretive was he was trying to make it.

"THING-NEXT-TO-THE-ROCK, ARE YOU... A HUMAN?" he asked at last, trying and failing to contain his excitement.

I nodded.

"WOWIE!" He said, grinning wildly. It was hard not to do the same on my part. "I FINALLY- I- I'M GONNA BE SO... SO... POPULAR! UNDYNE WILL- SANS WILL-"

He paused at that, glaring back at the tree he'd been talking to before I announced myself.

"WELL ACTUALLY, HE'LL PROBABLY BE JUST AS LAZY AS EVER. FIRST HE DOESN'T SHOW UP TO GOSSIP ABOUT THE ROYAL GUARD AND FORCES ME TO MAKE DO WITH TALKING TO MYSELF, NEXT HE ISN'T HERE FOR WHEN I CAPTURE MY FIRST HUMAN."

I stopped smiling. Not that he ever noticed.

"OH! SPEAKING OF… HUMAN!" he suddenly shouted, striking a pose and reinforcing the idea that he was born straight from a comic book. "BY ROYAL DECREE FROM KING ASGORE, I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, AM ORDERING YOU…"

I really, really didn't want to kill this guy.

"…TO PROCEED UNIMPEDED THROUGH THE FOREST!"

Refusing to give me any time to respond, he continued. "DO NOT MISTAKE MY CARE FOR COMPLICITY, HOWEVER. THE ROAD AHEAD IS A DANGEROUS ONE, FULL OF JAPES! JOKES! AND PUZZLES! ALSO, I AM GOING TO STOP YOU AT AN INDETERMINATE POINT IN THE FUTURE, JUST YOU WAIT! NYEHEHEHEHEH!"

He ran down the path ahead, and I walked after him.

Not two seconds later, the misty form of Chara appeared in front of me. "If you want, we could probably leave him behind. I don't remember much of this area, but I remember that it doesn't take that long to traverse."

We could, but I'd feel bad about it. Besides, you know I prefer being thorough.

Chara sighed. "You know, for someone trying to get home, you sure don't act like you're in a rush."

Whatever response I was preparing died when I rounded a corner and almost shot the short skeleton waiting there out of surprise.

"hey," he greeted me with a smile that I'm not sure he ever dropped. "that went well. so, what do you think about my brother?"

Call me crazy, but despite the fact he's holding the exact same pose and tone of voice as before, I have the strangest feeling there's something about Sans now that seems a little bit off from a few minutes ago.

"That's because there is," Chara said warily.

Glad that for once, it wasn't just my imagination, I focused back on Sans. "He's nice. Kind of like a child, but not in a bad way," I answered honestly.

He nodded. "yep. lots of people say that too. but i wasn't just asking to get your opinion. i just wanted to tell you that if you were thinking of doing something to the monsters here…"

And suddenly it's like the whole world takes the backseat to everything except Sans' eye sockets. The little lights that seemed to dance from side to side were gone. Replaced by an inky blackness that doesn't seem to end. It's like staring into somewhere as cold as the dark side of the moon, into something that never knew life or warmth.

"You would have a bad time."

I blinked.

Sans was gone.

"What the fuck was that?" Chara asked, suddenly at my side and staring where Sans used to be.

Dunno what you expect from me, I thought you were the expert on the Underground.

"I am," they said defensively, oily lines of ink blurring their face. "I know a lot about the Underground as a whole. That doesn't translate to being omniscient. I certainly wasn't aware of any spooky skeletons."

I sighed and started to move. Well, Sans' apparent ability to teleport aside, this wasn't all that worrying. I wasn't planning on killing anyone here. Actually, considering that was all he really said, there's not much need to change the plan of 'search everywhere and leave', is there?

"Please?" the kid begged, and this time I paused to look at them. The way they spoke, with curls of smoke drifting all around them, it was somehow the most emotional the spirit had ever gotten. "I really don't like being around that guy. Can we just go?"

A few seconds passed where I considered telling them off, then I nodded.

Alright, fine. I don't know how much use it'll be considering the guy can literally teleport, but I'll try to hurry out of here. We'll do Papyrus's puzzles or whatever, then leave.

I may as well have promised to bring them the moon judging by the relieved and genuinely happy smile on Chara's face. "Thank you," they breathed out.

No problem. Besides, I've never been a fan of the cold.

Chara laughed a little, but not unkindly. "Don't worry, Waterfall is right past this area, and it's not nearly as cold. A little wet, though."

I kind of guessed from the name. Ruins, Snowdin, Waterfall, they don't sound like they were named by a particularly creative man.

The kid's smile wavered, then it returned. "He'd have agreed with you," they whispered. Probably didn't mean for me to hear it judging by the volume, but I was more perceptive than most.

Well, in any case I didn't want to press issues they didn't want to discuss. Learned that lesson the hard way once, and once was enough.

The snow crunched underfoot, and true to my word, I chose not to investigate the surroundings and kept to a brisk walking pace. Not that there was much to see. The paths were lined with a few small structures that looked like pre-war dog houses, and of course, Papyrus's puzzles.

"WOWIE! I SEE YOU TOO ARE A FELLOW PUZZLE LOVER, FOR THERE IS NO OTHER WAY YOU COULD HAVE SOLVED THIS COMPLICATED PRESSURE-PLATE PUZZLE SO QUICKLY," the skeleton enthused as I solved another… really easy puzzle. Much like the ones in the Ruins, these didn't do much more than slow me down. And they wouldn't have even done that much if I decided to just step over the spikes that might have halted me if I was three feet shorter.

But it made Papyrus beam with happiness, and it was hard not to smile at the monster as I journeyed onwards.

That's not a sentence I ever thought I'd think up, by the way.

"Mhm, you get used to it," Chara said, floating alongside me, but turning to face the way we came. "Hey, Courier?"

You can just call me Six, it's way shorter to say.

They waved a hand dismissively, but acknowledged it anyway. "Six, we haven't run into any monsters. Besides those two, I mean, and we haven't seen Sans in a while."

You're not disappointed by that, are you? I thought you wanted to move things along and get out of here.

The ghost frowned, their face a storm of smoke on oil. "There were never that many monsters at… at any point in history. But the Underground isn't that big. We should have run into a lot more than just two by now."

Three, I thought, considering the Froggit. I almost brought up Toriel, and decided against it.

"And if there's a town nearby, we definitely should have seen a few of its residents on the outskirts. The point I'm trying to make is, where is everyone?" they asked.

Maybe they're afraid of us, I suggested sarcastically. Really though, why was the kid getting so worked up over this? It's not like we were about to be attacked or anything.

But they take what I said seriously, and narrow their eyes in concentration. "Maybe so. I just don't-"

"Stop right there!"

"-like being interrupted like that, but whatever," the ghost muttered as I quickly began to reevaluate the idea we weren't about to be attacked.

Two figures in black cloaks moved towards us, humanoid with bleach-white bodies, each wielding a gleaming battle axe. If there was just one of them and it was a scythe, I would have thought I was seeing the grim reaper.

Instead, the figures approached enough for me to make out… paws? And a nose? I wasn't even startled at this point, just a little perplexed. Even being covered in a cloak, it was pretty obvious I was looking at a pair of bipedal dogs. With axes.

And I thought the robot scorpions of Big Mountain were a little weird.

"The what?" Chara asked, but I was too busy trying to gauge the dogs' reactions.

"What's that smell?"

"(Who's that smell?)"

"We've been told to keep a lookout…"

"(While Snowdin gets evacuated…)"

Chara's eyes widened, and my hand brushed against the familiar weight of the Ranger Sequoia even as the dogs kept on taking turns speaking.

"And now a strange smell shows up? Highly suspicious."

"(What is that smell, anyways?)"

"Smells like…"

"(Smells like blood and rust!)"

"So if you're that smell…"

"IDENTIFY YOUR-SMELF!" they both yelled in perfect synchronization.

It would have been hilarious if they didn't immediately punctuate it by swinging their axes directly at me.

Fortunately, I was by no means a stranger to melee combat.

One squeeze to an activator hooked up to my Pip Boy, and just as I felt the familiar sensation of GRX flooding into my nervous system, the dogs' axes slowed to a crawl. The one on the left seemed to pause with his axe frozen in mid-air for an overhead strike, while the other attempted a sweeping attack at my legs that moved at glacial speeds. Even the smoke that coiled around Chara moved in slow motion.

It's times like these that it's great to be a cyborg with a drug dispenser built into my brain.

I sidestepped the one on the left and appeared at his side, kicking up snow that glittered in the sunlight even as it drifted lazily into the air. Dodging his attack and firmly out of range of the other, I raised a fist up to head-level, and it may have looked like it was moving at the speed of NCR's bureaucratic process, but I had crushed the skulls of enough Fiends to know that it was going a lot faster than that. The hooded dog didn't even have enough time to turn all the way around before-

Woosh

-disappearing entirely and sending me spiraling to the ground as my fist connected with nothing but empty air, completely unbalancing me.

No, I didn't say 'the fuck?' or try and pointlessly ask what happened like they do in those dime novels or holofilms. I scrambled to my feet, and-

Woosh

-shook my head, trying to clear the sudden bout of nausea that threatened to overwhelm me.

"heya."

The last traces of Implant GRX's slowdown effect wore off. A thick fog gently rolled through… wherever we were, obscuring everything around me.

But I had quite a few cybernetics in my eyes as well, and a helmet with functioning vision modes. It didn't take much effort from either to see the short skeleton that had been curiously absent for the past few puzzles.

"Sans," I said.

Just like before, he didn't move an inch.

"i saw whatcha did. what you were going to do. killing dogs? man, that's a little low, don't you think?"

My fists clenched. "They attacked me first, without warning or provocation. It was self-defense."

"and the old lady?"

I stilled.

"yeah, i wouldn't know how to respond to that either," Sans said nonchalantly. "and you know, i tried to give you a chance. thought maybe you just needed… i don't know. a few puzzles. some funny friends and fried food. but you?"

He moved for the first time in the conversation, taking a step forward. My fingers twitched.

"heh. anyone else and i wouldn't have given the order to evacuate. but then again, you're not 'anyone' are you? you're not from around here, anomaly."

The last word was a deviation from his normal speech, a low cutting sound that was somewhere between the roar of an engine and a growl.

"you thought i wouldn't notice? time's been turned on its side, starting and stopping at seemingly random points. but you know what all the timelines all have in common? something is causing them to end. a full stop. heh. it's you, isn't it?"

I didn't know what the hell he was talking about, and I couldn't even ask Chara because the spirit didn't seem to be subjected to the same rules of teleportation as the rest of us. Wherever they were, it wasn't here.

"i don't know how you got here. i don't know what you are, but i know what happens next if you keep doing what you did to everyone else. and seeing that… i can't afford not to care," said Sans.

The wind picked up, and as luck would have it, it was just breezy enough to shift the overcoat off my holster.

"sorry old lady," he sighed. "this-"

BANG

Sans' sternum exploded.

Or it would have, but monsters being monsters, he stumbled backwards, once, twice. On the third he fell to his knees, clutching at the television-static hole dead center in his chest. The Ranger Sequoia was in my hands faster than I could blink, and smoke wafted off its barrel, joining the fog.

"how…?" he asked, before a red liquid seeped out of the wound. I paused at that. Of all things, skeleton monsters are the ones that have blood? I wouldn't have thought.

Sans made a sound, a rattling sigh that usually preceded death. "what…" he tried again, more pseudo-blood staining his undershirt.

I stepped closer, holstering the revolver and replacing it with Blood-Nap. Never waste a bullet if you can avoid it.

He took a breath, steadied himself, and looked into my helmet. Was it wrong that unlike with Toriel, I felt a lot less guilt this time around? Hell if I know.

"what are you?" Sans managed at last.

The knife flipped into a reverse grip, and I answered.

"I'm The Courier."

One slash, and it was over. A blue jacket collapsed to the ground, and a pile of dust scattered itself on the wind.

Still that damn fog though. And without the kid to help me navigate, I could only see ten feet ahead of me with any clarity. But even with the weather hampering my vision, it wasn't long before I could see lights in one direction, and hear the churning of water in the other. Well, the next area was called 'Waterfall', and it didn't take a genius to figure out where to go to proceed. Hopefully the kid would realize I wasn't here and catch up, would be a shame to backtrack and lose all that progress.

I followed the sound of rushing water, and left the abandoned town behind.

Papyrus's first reaction upon finding the discarded jacket that Sans was never seen without was not an amused one.

"THIS ISN'T FUNNY, BROTHER," Papyrus said, more exasperated than anything. "I HIGHLY DOUBT YOUR NUDITY WILL BE AS ENDEARING AS YOUR LAZINESS. NOW HURRY AND GET DRESSED, OR WE WON'T CATCH THE HUMAN."

There was no response but the howling wind.

"SANS?" he asked, holding the blue jacket by the collar. Papyrus looked around, but couldn't see anyone. He rolled his eyes and walked back into town. The lights were off at their house and Sans didn't often visit the librarby these days, which left only one possibility.

"GRILLBY? I DISLIKE BOTHERING YOU, BUT HAVE YOU SEEN MY LAZYBONES BROTHER… AROUND…" he started, trailing off as soon as the door to the pub swung open. Cards lay flat on the table, fizzy drinks and unhealthily greasy food had been abandoned, and the eponymous owner was nowhere in sight. Neither was anyone else.

Papyrus sighed.

"SANS, I APPRECIATE THE EFFORT YOU MUST HAVE GONE THROUGH TO GET EVERYONE TO DISAPPEAR, BUT YOU WILL FIND THE GREAT PAPYRUS IS NOT SO EASILY BAMBOOZLED. NOW COME BACK HERE, I DOUBT YOU INTENDED TO LEAVE YOUR JACKET IN THE SNOW."

There was no response but the crackling of the fire exit.

For the first time, Papyrus felt a chill settle over his bones and found the warm atmosphere that normally permeated Grillby's was completely absent.

"HELLO?! ANYONE?!" he called, placing one foot outside and looking around. Snowdin was deserted. While he could normally admire the dedication that went into a joke like this, especially considering the level of humor he normally dealt with, this was going a bit far. Even for Sans.

If this was a prank, it would have ended long ago.

"SANS?" Papyrus asked again, and this time he couldn't keep the worry from seeping into his voice when nothing happened. He called out again.

There was no response at all.

"...SANS?"

But nobody came.

You gained ? EXP

EXP to LV 51: ? / 193,750

A/N: That's right motherfuckers, I'm still here, still writing. There's not much else to say so I'm going to take the opportunity to address some of the reviews, in my own way.

Let's just get this out of the way. Every time someone asks me a question about this story regarding its plot, either in a PM or a review, the answer is either

A) I will write it in the author's notes or it will come up as part of the story in a future chapter, or

B) It isn't relevant to what I have planned next.

Now having said that, I assure you that the questions some of you have raised in regards the Courier's ability to SAVE/RESET or whether this is a neutral run or not will be answered in future chapters. Have patience.

Oh, and if you didn't get it because it was kind of a stretch, pronounce 'courier' as 'career' to experience the full power of the puns in the first meeting with the skeleton brothers.

Anyways, that concludes this chapter as well as our little quality time segment. Don't take what I said the wrong way though, I do appreciate and read every review on here, especially the ones that focus on what I did right and wrong and go into detail. And I'm not trying to discourage you from speculating, sorry if I came off that way. All I'm sayin' is, if you ask a question about the plot, the main reason I won't directly answer it is because it kind of feels like telling you what's going to happen without any of the buildup or actual writing to give the answer any drama. I'm out of things to say right now, so take care and have a good day.