While I was writing this, I had the song "Cynthia's Work Out" kinda stuck in my head. You can blame ichallengemyfate on tumblr for that. Fantastic writer, by the way.
Anyway, this chapter is kinda long, which is funny, considering how long Sumia's chapter was. On the plus side, you get a good number of Robin rants.
Robin sat in his office, sipping a cup of tea.
"Wait for it…" He muttered to himself.
The door to his office suddenly burst open in an explosion of flower petals. A pegasus swept into the room, with Cynthia, Robin's sister-in-law, standing on top of it.
"HELLO, WISE TACTITIO-AH!" She shouted, before falling off of the pegasus.
"...Quite an entrance." Robin commented. "I assume all of these petals came from the royal garden?"
"...Maybe…" She muttered, picking herself up.
"I think you may be abusing your powers as a princess." Robin said.
"I gotta do what I gotta do to be a hero!" Cynthia exclaimed.
"Yeah, but you aren't about to fight me." Robin responded. "At least, I hope not."
"So what's this about, anyway?" Cynthia asked.
"I'm afraid I'm going to have to fire you." Robin said.
"What?!" Cynthia exclaimed.
"Let me explain." Robin said. "You are insanely reckless in combat. I've had to take into consideration the fact that you will inevitably try to pull of a grand gesture in the beginning or middle of the battle, which is unacceptable. Do you have any idea how close we came to dying that time you showered Chrom with petals? Our archers were useless, some people couldn't see a foot in front of them, and some of our mounts couldn't go into the air! Thank Naga for the Minervas! Also, for some reason, the petels were flammable, so we had to deal with that!"
"I don't remember any of those things!" Cynthia exclaimed.
"That's because you managed to knock yourself out at the beginning!" Robin exclaimed. "It was hellish!"
"Well...Wait." Cynthia thought for a second. "Do I even work for you?"
"Well, yeah!" Robin said. "I'm in charge of the Shepherds! I know who works for me!"
"But I'm a princess!" Cynthia exclaimed. "I looked into it, and none of us kids from the future are actually on the payroll!"
"...Look, you guys just came out of nowhere, so we didn't have any time to enlist you." Robin said. "The Shepherds are basically an élite neighborhood watch. Most of it is volunteer work. However, for some reason, people began to think that people got paid to do it, since it was run by the prince. Chrom decided to start paying people to keep up the illusion, which was pretty stupid of him. You kids were so focused on your mission that you didn't notice that you weren't getting paid. We don't have that money in the budget. That's one of the main reasons I'm firing everyone. That way, none of you will realize that you were never employed."
"...Why are you telling me all of this?" Cynthia asked.
"Because you already know." Robin said.
"No, I just kinda looked at the payroll!" Cynthia exclaimed. "I didn't realize that this was all an elaborate scam!"
"You seem to fall for those a lot." Robin commented.
"I'm never gonna live that down, am I?" Cynthia asked.
"Nope. It was pretty stupid of you." Robin said. "It wasn't even that elaborate."
"I never met Daddy in the future!" Cynthia said in her defense.
"I would assume that you would have checked for a mark or something." Robin said. "At the very least, you would have realized where you got your blue hair."
"Look, you just told me that you were basically pulling one over on all of us kids!" Cynthia exclaimed. "Why did you tell me all of that?"
"I kinda thought you already knew." Robin admitted. "Since you didn't, I'm afraid I'm going to have to do something drastic." Robin sighed. "Name your price."
"Hmm…"Cynthia said, appearing to think. Suddenly, she pointed at Robin. "YOU!"
"...I'm flattered, but you do realize that Lucina would kill both of us." Robin said. "Well, she would kill you, castrate me, and Gerome would feed whatever was left of me to Minerva."
"He wouldn't do anything to me?" Cynthia asked.
"I suspect he would just eat a few tubs of ice cream with Minerva." Robin said.
"Anyway, I didn't mean it like that!" Cynthia exclaimed. "I meant that I want you to join the Justice Cabal!"
"What, you mean you, Owain and Morgan's little club?" Robin said. "Why?"
"Because Morgan is always going on about how awesome you are!" Cynthia exclaimed. "She's always talking about how she wants to be a great tactician just like you!"
"Yeah, she says that a lot, doesn't she?" Robin commented. "Don't you know about Owain's little 'journey?'"
"Yeah!" Cynthia exclaimed. "Originally we were going to go with him-"
"That's unlikely." Robin said. "For one thing, there is no way I would let Morgan go on that wild goose chase. I doubt Yarne would be willing to go along with it, either. And how in Naga's name do you expect to get Gerome to go with you?"
"Oh, don't worry about Gerome." Cynthia said, leaning on the table and twirling a pigtail. "I can be pretty...persuasive, if you know what I mean." She wiggled her eyebrows.
"...You're trying to be sexual, but you're just coming off as adorable." Robin said. "Although, given the fact that I am a good friend of your father, as well as married to your older sister, it's possible that I might just always see you as a younger sister." Robin paused. "Also, let's just say that you definitely defend your position as the loudest Shepherd some nights."
Cynthia's face turned beet red. "I-I-I guess I might overdo it a little…"
"Believe me, at least he's better off than his mom." Robin said. "Anyway, do you want me as a permanent member or is this just a temporary deal?"
"Probably just one outing." Cynthia said. "It's mainly for Morgan, so try to at least pretend you're into it."
Robin smiled a bit. "Fine. For her." He frowned. "Now, if anyone asks about this meeting-"
"I beat you up for being an ungrateful brother-in-law!" Cynthia exclaimed. "Thanks, Robin! See you later!" She exclaimed, skipping through the pile of petals.
"Wait!" Robin exclaimed. "You forgot your pegasus!"
"COME ON, PEGGY!"
The pegasus looked at Robin, took a shit on the floor, and followed after his rider.
"...Maybe I should invest in some renovations…" Robin muttered to himself.
Yup. You are probably gonna see that later, in the epilogue part. How could I not?
Up next: Inigo!