"Inigo," Robin said to the man sitting across from him. "I have a bone to pick with you, so let's get the official stuff out-of-the-way first. You're fired."
"How could you fire me?!" Inigo exclaimed. "Think of how much the morale will drop if I were to go! Specifically among the ladies!"
"The way you act around women is a PR nightmare just waiting to happen." Robin explained. "I figure it would be better to relieve responsibility of you before you get yourself in too much trouble."
"Am...am I allowed to at least hang out with the others?" Inigo asked.
"...I don't see why not." Robin said. "They're your friends, so I'd assume you spent time with one another anyway."
"Right." Inigo said.
Robin looked at him. "Actually, that thinly disguised expression of loneliness is one of the things I wanted to talk to you about." Robin said. "I'm going to help you pick up women!"
"Really?" Inigo asked, although it was more of a disbelieving tone then a grateful one. "You? What would you know about picking up ladies? I mean, good job with Lucina. She's a catch, but I don't think your methods would work so well the way I intend to use them…"
"Ah, but you didn't know me after the Plegian War!" Robin exclaimed. "I was a bit of a ladies man, back in my day...Which was a few years ago. The way I worded that made me sound pretty old. The thing is, you have so much potential, young padawan. You just have to learn how to use it. And then the pussy will flow!"
"...Ok. Fine." Inigo said. "What's your advice?"
"First, you have a pretty tragic past. Your mother died before she could finish teaching you a dance move. Naga, that sounds like a Disney movie." Robin said. "Also, you dedicated yourself and your personal comfort to making the army happy, which shows that you are caring. Use that."
"I...I don't know how comfortable I would be using my mother's death to pick up chicks" Inigo said.
"Come on!" Robin exclaimed. "I never knew my mother, but you don't hear me bitching about it! When you have an opportunity like that, you should use it! Do you know how many times I used the amnesia pick-up line? 'Hey, girl. I lost my memories. Want help me make some new ones?'"
"...Did that ever work?" Inigo asked.
"As far as I'll let you know, no." Robin said. "I don't know what you might tell Lucina, so I should probably be vague with the success."
"If you're not gonna tell me how successful you were, why should I take your advice?" Inigo asked.
"Because I assume you can jump to your own conclusions!" Robin exclaimed. "Speaking of jumping, dancing. If you show off those dance moves to dancers, and you tell them that you're straight, you will be swimming in it! Believe me!"
"I actually thought of that one." Inigo said. "Here's the problem with that: How do you know that modern dancers are attractive?"
"Well, I assume they're as hot as Olivi-" Robin stopped himself. "Oh."
"Yup. I kinda shocked when I made that connection." Inigo sighed.
"They aren't all your mother, though." Robin said.
"Yeah, but that doesn't stop my mind from making that connection between them." Inigo said.
"You're complaining about mind assumptions?" Robin asked. "My wife is the child of my best friend and exists as a baby in this timeline! I still make passionate love to my wife, regardless of those associations!"
"...Eww." Inigo said. "That might say more about you than it does me."
"...Aren't you married?" Robin realized.
"Yeah. Why?" Inigo asked.
"Why are you taking my advice then?!" Robin exclaimed. "I think both of our wives will kill us if they found out!"
"Well, I was just curious about what advice the 'master tactician' would give me in regard to picking up women!" Inigo exclaimed, defending himself. "Apparently, he has no idea what he's doing!"
"I knew what I was doing!" Robin exclaimed. "All of those other women just didn't know how great of a catch I was!"
"...I don't work for you, right?" Inigo asked. "I think I'm gonna go."
"Ok." Robin said, as the man left his office. "If you ever find yourself single again, remember my advice!" Robin shouted after the man. "DANCER! NO PARENTS!"
I kinda want to try to write a different courting from the game for Robin and Lucina. I kinda doubt this Robin has it in him to be that romantic and tactful.
If you didn't figure it out before, Inigo is married to the surviving child of the two that could be dead. The way she is mentioned could refer to either of the two.
In other news, we have a contest winner! Tifer correctly guessed that the reference was from The Thrilling Adventure Hour! In case you were wondering, it's a comedy podcast featuring different radio shows. One of the show is Sparks Nevada: Marshal on Mars, which is a western. His sidekick is Croach the Tracker, who often finds himself under onus to people. Nathan Fillion, from Firefly, often appears on the show as Cactoid Jim.
They've already told me about their Avatar, and I already have a bit of an idea of how the chapter will go.
Anyway, thank you to everybody who guessed.
Up next: Gerome!