Sorry for the delay. I just discovered Half-Life 2 and that's kinda been distracting me. Also, I just started my work at a service site with my school.
"Man, my head hurts…" Robin muttered to himself. He had invited Chrom over to his office after his meeting with Yarne. They got drunk together, relating stories and feelings about their friends hooking up with their daughters. It didn't didn't matter that Robin happened to be the friend that hooked up with Chrom's daughter. They still had their fun.
That said, apparently the royal family can hold their booze better than those with the blood of the Fell Dragon. One has to wonder what that says about Naga…
"I probably shouldn't have pre-gamed before I met up with Chrom…" Robin groaned.
"Yeah." The armored woman sitting across from him agreed. "I try not to get too drunk when I drink. You never know when you need to be aware."
Robin slowly glared at the woman.
"...Who the fuck are you?" Robin asked, an annoyed expression on his face.
"Kjelle, sir." Kjelle said.
"Am I suppose to know who that is?" Robin asked.
"I'm Sully's daughter?" Kjelle said, trying to jog his memory.
"Sully had a daughter?" Robin asked. "I thought she was like that ninja chick or Anna, not having future children. That would mean you're Valke's daughter, given the fact they're married and you have his hair. Have you ever noticed how you kids always have your father's hair? Genetics are very specific like that. The only exceptions is Morgan, my girl…" Robin groaned. "My engaged girl. I need another drink…" He grabbed his head in pain. "No, I don't…"
"Ahem." Kjelle coughed, getting Robin's attention.
"Oh, right." Robin said plainly. "Still don't remember you."
"I'm a great fighter, even for a woman." Kjelle said.
"Yeah, so are Sully, Miriel, Panne, Anna, Cordelia, Now I, Tharja, Cherche, Lucina, Say-say or whatever her name was, and countless others. Need I go on?" Robin asked. "It's great that you're a powerful woman and all, but around these parts, that doesn't exactly make you unique. Being strong isn't a characteristic. If you weren't strong, you wouldn't be here, would you?"
"I don't really know what you're getting at…" Kjelle said.
"Oh, that has nothing to do with you." Robin said. "Well, it kinda does. It's more of the author having a problem with your characterization in the game, but we'll get to that in a second. What's your unique thing?"
"What do you mean?" Kjelle asked.
"You're a member of Lucina's Sexy, Dysfunctional Time Travel Squad." Robin said. "Owain has a crazy hand, Norie...no...Noire…well, she has a messed up mind, Gerome's Batman, etc. What's your thing?"
"Umm…" Kjelle thought. "Well, I like to fight, and I really like armor."
"Oh, really?" Robin asked sarcastically. "You like armor. As opposed to…?" He thought for a second. "Well, actually, as opposed to your father. And a lot of the army, really, including the fucking Exalt. One covered shoulder isn't going to change much. Congratulations, that one sholder is going to be safe from attack. But I digress. We'll get to the good king when we get to him."
"Why did you call this meeting if you forgot about me?" Kjelle asked.
"That's a really good question." Robin replied. "I honestly thought I was done with all you kids after Yarne. I thought I was doing the Khans next. I really honestly forgot about you. Are you sure you aren't Kellem's kid? He's pretty sneaky, so you never know. I mean, really, if Kellem and Say-whatever had a kid, that kid would be you, because of how forgettable you are."
"No offence sir," Kjelle said annoyed. " but did you only want to meet with me to bitch at me, or are we actually going to talk about something important? Sir." She added.
"Kelly-"
"Kjelle, asshole." Kjelle corrected. "Sorry. Asshole, sir."
"Ok then, Kjelle," Robin said carefully, smirking a bit. "If you were this edgy during the war, I might have remembered you a bit more. I mean, one of your main characteristics is that you like to fight. Do you understand how unoriginal that is? You're a soldier, no shit you like to fight. Otherwise, we would know about how much you hate it."
Kjelle glared at him.
"Sorry." Robin admitted. "I just wanted to add that in there. Anyway, we no longer need your services, so get out."
"Happily!" Kjelle exclaimed, storming out of the office.
"...Ouch…" Robin grabbed his head. "Why did she have to shout so loud…Could be worse: Severa could have been the one that survived." Robin grinned. "Yeah, send all your complaints to the player. I'll just stay here and laugh."
So not only is Robin a dick, but he's also a troll.
A bit more on the monologue/fourth wall side here, as well as a surprising amount of foreshadowing. I didn't really think there was much I could do with Kjelle. I think she was probably the character they ran out of ideas with when they were making the kids.
Also, I'm done with the second-gen characters. Party! Some of the following chapters are grouped together characters, mainly because they revolve around the same joke and it would be better to have these characters play off each other as opposed to just Robin.
Up next: The Khans!