Olivia's apartment

When Olivia heard the knock at her door, she already knew who this could be. She was back in New York for less than 2 hours and saw no one yet, except him. When she opened the door, she found Elliot, as confused as when she saw him earlier in the bullpen.

"Hey" she simply said.

Elliot didn't answer straight back. He stared at her a few seconds and stated "You're really here".

"I'm here" Olivia nodded. She opened the door a little more and stepped aside to let him in. "Have a seat. You look like you just saw a ghost."

But Elliot didn't move from her threshold. "I thought you were dead" he said, his voice threatening to break.

"What?" Olivia blinked, confused.

"I thought you were dead" Elliot repeated, louder. "I heard it on the news".

Olivia couldn't believe him. She had no idea. She felt guilty for not calling right after her mission was over. She wanted to but still had to help the feds booking the people she had lived with for more than two months. The people who did so much damage. Who killed other people, including some of their own. The people who killed her friend. Olivia chased that thought away as she started to feel a pressure in her chest. She cleared her throat, said "Come in" and made her way back to her apartment. Elliot followed her inside, closed the door behind him and rested against it. Olivia stood there, not knowing what to say so she crossed her arms and waited for Elliot to say something.

"What happened to you?" Elliot asked, gesturing at her injuries.

Olivia sighed, walked to her kitchen and grabbed a glass. "Long story" she said as she poured herself a glass of whiskey.

"I bet it is" Elliot retorted, not hiding his annoyance.

Olivia shrugged, took a sip and asked "You want some?"

Elliot couldn't believe her. No apologies. No explanation. No nothing. « I got the traitor! I killed the fucking cop » Elliot quoted.

"What was that?" Olivia asked.

"After I got your letter I kept the news on 24/7. It drove Munch crazy but I did it anyway. I saw on the breaking news there was an explosion and 29 people died. Then this man shows up and shouts that he killed a cop! What did you expect me to think?!" Elliot yelled, not able to keep his calm anymore.

"I didn't know he said that…" Olivia said, putting her glass down. "It was Dereck" she added, rolling her eyes. "We despise each other, but he didn't kill me as you can see. Actually, I didn't know, but there was another undercover cop there. Well, not exactly a cop, he was a fed. I don't know how his cover blew up, but Dereck found out and killed him. That night…" Olivia paused as she felt her chest tighten again. "It was like a nightmare. Everything went so wrong. The smoke, the blood… and Hope". Olivia was now overwhelmed by the painful memories. She felt a single tear rolling down her cheek, and bit her lip.

One second, and Elliot was right in front of her. He was so close that his feet were touching hers. "Hey" he said, wiping her tear away. "You're here now. And you're ok." He gave another look at her injuries and added "almost".

Olivia's eyes met Elliot's and she saw it. Relief. Tenderness. Pure care. Lo…, no. She stepped back as Elliot's hand was still on her cheek and went back to her whiskey.

"Olivia what happened there?" Olivia shook her head, not wanting to talk about it. But Elliot was as stubborn as Olivia – if not more – and would not let her shut him out. "Olivia, I spent the last 61 days worrying about you. I had no idea where you were or if you were safe. When I found the bills, I knew that somehow, somewhere, you were in danger and there wasn't a damn thing I could do about it! Ever since I saw the news last week, I couldn't close my eyes without seeing your dead body bleeding out. I have not been able to do my job correctly because I was too busy beating myself for what happened to you. I kept telling me that if I hadn't been such an asshole to you, you wouldn't have left. And you, you think you can just come back, offer a whiskey and not talk about it? Don't you think I deserve some explanation? You left me! Without a damn goodbye!" Elliot let it all out. It was easier to be angry with Olivia than admitting he missed her so much.

"Come on Elliot, you got over it. I'm pretty sure that blond little thing helped you to move on". Olivia walked passed him to her living room, and looked through the window. She couldn't believe she just said that.

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about her hands on you like you're her damn property. I'm talking about her swaggering around, seating at my desk and looking down on me."

Elliot's mouth fell open. "What the hell does it have to do with anything?"

"It doesn't!" Olivia shouted. She was making non-sense and she knew it.

"You're just avoiding the subject" Elliot accused her, narrowing his eyes.

Olivia was absolutely note ready to have this conversation. She would rather flight back to Oregon and face the EDG than having this conversation with Elliot. "Why are you here Elliot? It's the middle of the day, your shift is not over, you should be working right now" Olivia accused him.

"Don't do that Olivia" Elliot warned her, feeling more and more angry every time Olivia opened her mouth. He deserved explanations, apologies. And Olivia kept pushing him away. She came to him in the first place, right? She obviously wanted to talk to him. So why was she shutting him out now?

"Elliot" Olivia pleaded walking past him again. She didn't want to face him anymore. "I'm tired right now. I was in a plane not later than 2 hours ago. I just… I just can't do it right now" she said, her voice threatening to break. She busied herself with the mails that were still on her coffee table, turning her back to Elliot.

"You came to me" Elliot pointed out. "Earlier. You came in the precinct. Obviously, you were ready to talk back then."

"Yes!" Olivia shouted. She threw the envelops with anger and turned around to face Elliot. "But that was before-"

"Before what?" Elliot cut her off. But Olivia couldn't answer that of course. "Before what?" Elliot asked again, louder this time. Olivia froze, not knowing how she could get away with it.

Shit.

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I'm sorry it took me so long to publish this one. I have a lot going on lately and I don't know how long it will take for me to publish again but hopefully you'll have the next chapter by wednesday