Chapter 3
Liza walked into the kitchen and poured herself a cup of coffee and sat on one of the barstools, watching Maggie paint. Trying to keep herself from being completely overwhelmed by thoughts of facing her new work environment and in particular facing Diana. Not even Maggie's excellent coffee was going to make her feel better. Sighing dramatically Liza laid her head on the kitchen island, praying for anything to put her out of her own misery.
"Liza you are really worrying too much," said Maggie as she switched paintbrushes. "I know this because I have been up since 4 am trying to paint, and I could feel the worry and stress coming out of your room. It's given me a headache and proven to be very distracting." Needing a break and not particularly liking what she saw on her canvas, Maggie put her paintbrushes down and sat next to Liza.
"Do you ever think you don't worry enough Maggie?"
Maggie could only shake her head and answer honestly, "I have never worried about not worrying enough. I don't need any new wrinkles from worrying. Besides there is nothing a good glass of red wine or really good sex won't fix. And that smile plastered on your face last when you got home after spending the weekend with Charles tells me that you are fully invested in option #2."
Liza couldn't help but smile, "I wish really good sex could solve all of my current problems. Maggie," Liza sighed, "I really need your great, outstanding, wonderful advice."
Maggie laughed, "It's the same as always, the same as it was 3 hours ago. Avoid Diana until you can get her drunk and then drop your truth bombs on her."
Liza rolled her eyes, "I can't avoid her, I have to help her find a new assistant… and navigate this whole new dynamic at work. Diana isn't the biggest fan of change."
Maggie shrugged, "Who really likes change?"
"I wish I could get her drunk first thing this morning, it would make my life so much easier, at least for today," Liza muttered under her breath.
"I heard that," Maggie smiled, "Maybe you should both get drunk this morning, it would probably make your day a hell of a lot easier and more enjoyable!"
"I wish I could say you were joking, but I know you too well." Avoiding her life wasn't going to work too much longer if she wanted to keep her job.
"Well at least you look amazing."
Liza hoped Maggie's words were true, the black sheath dress and black fitted jacket made her feel powerful, not to mention the 4 inch pink heels that added the perfect touch. Liza needed to have that armor today, it helped her feel strong.
"Thanks for your awful, insane, and terrible advice, but I am going to skip the public drunkenness at work and face my fears." Liza grabbed her purse and gave Maggie a hug. "If I wait any longer I'll be late and that will only make everything worse."
Contemplating Maggie's idea as she walked toward the door, "I will keep the drunk plan but only as a last, desperate, hopeless option."
"Good luck," Maggie yelled as Liza left the loft, "You'll need it."
Stepping off the elevator, Liza could feel the new energy and apprehension that had descended upon Millennial as she made her way to her desk. The quiet murmurs from her coworkers only increased Liza's already heightened awareness of how much change had actually transpired by Charles stepping down and Kelsey becoming publisher. Millennial would need to move forward in a united front with Quinn and a clear vision as to what they wanted to accomplish, to ease fears and establish their imprint as one of the leading publishing houses. Should be a piece of cake, Liza thought to herself, wishing it could be that easy.
"LIZA!"
Crap! The worry about Millennial had made Liza forget all about facing Diana. Unfortunately Liza's final hope at somehow avoiding Diana today hadn't worked, a last desperate plea that Diana would call in sick had fallen on deaf ears. Here we go, Liza thought to herself as she put her purse on her desk. Grabbing her phone and the 10 resumes that she had vetted late last night for Diana's new assistant she quickly walked into Diana's office.
"Good morning Dian-"
"Good?" Diana asked incredulously, "What's good about any of this Liza? Close the door and come sit down"
"Do you need some coffee before we start? Or a breakfast bagel, I saw some when I walked in, they looked delicious, there were some cinnamon, plain, blueberry…." Liza trailed off when she saw Diana silently staring at her like she had lost her mind. Liza started over, "Diana we have a lot to discuss-"
"Liza, would you sit down, your fidgeting is making me nervous."
"Yes, of course," Liza immediately sat down, dropping the resumes and her phone. Struggling to pick all of the resumes up Liza could feel Diana's silent judgement, as she crawled on her hands and knees to retrieve each resume. Flustered, Liza hurriedly collected all of papers and laid them on Diana's desk. She sat down, red cheeked with embarrassment and immediately started tapping her foot nervously.
Diana's eyes widened, somewhat in shock and even a little bit of concern, "Liza what is wrong, are you having some sort of medical emergency?"
"Oh, no, no… I just, ummm…"
"Liza, will you just spit it out? We have too much going on to waste time with small talk," exasperated, Diana threw her hands up in the air, as if that would help Liza spill her secrets.
Liza took a deep breath and started to explain, "Diana you have no idea how grateful I am to have worked for you the past 2 years. I have learned so much from you and I deeply admire your hard work ethic, your-"
"Liza are you trying to tell me that you are quitting again? Really that would just be a colossal mistake on your part. Even though I know it will be difficult working for Kelsey…"
"What? No," Liza laughed, Diana was not going to hide how she felt about Kelsey being in charge for very long. "It's just that I have to admit something to you about myself, and I feel just awful that I have lied to you about who I really am for so long." Taking a deep breath, Liza felt the words just tumble out of her mouth, "I pretended to be 26 years old when you hired me, but I am actually 42 years old. I'm a divorced housewife from New Jersey who use to work in publishing but had to quit to raise my daughter who is now 21 years old and in college."
Dumbfounded, Diana's mouth dropped open, "What? Wait, Hold on…" Liza watched as Diana stood up and walked over to where Liza was sitting, Diana grabbed Liza's arm and pinched it, hard.
"Ouch! What in the hell did you do that for?" Liza asked as she gingerly rubbed her arm.
"I was making sure I wasn't dreaming, although lately my dreams usually involve Enzo, and some sort of whip cream and choc-"
"NOPE, nope, not a dream," Liza interrupted, not wanting to hear any more explicit details about Diana's sex dreams with Enzo.
"OH THANK GOD!" Diana exclaimed, "This means you didn't actually want to wear any of those horrendous outfits, you just wanted to make yourself look younger. Really Liza, some of your fashion choices were just awful," shaking her head, Diana also rolled her eyes. "Okay, so is that it?"
Liza could not believe what she was hearing, "Wait, aren't you mad that I've been lying to you?"
"No Liza, I'm not mad. I understand how hard it is for any woman to make a career for herself, especially in a male dominated publishing industry. It's difficult for women to succeed in any corporate setting, I can honestly say that I admire your tenacity and your drive. Figuring out a way to get back into an ultra competitive publishing world was no easy feat. You deserve credit for that. You lasted as my assistant and moved up because you work hard and deserve it."
Liza couldn't speak, she was afraid she would make a fool of herself trying to keep the tears from escaping her eyes. Grateful she looked at Diana and could only mutter a small but deeply sincere, "Thank you Diana."
"Now is there anything else that you needed to talk about?"
"Well, yes, actually there is-"
Interrupting, Kelsey knocked on Diana's door and immediately opened it, not bothering to wait for Diana's response. "Meeting in 10 minutes, and Diana you really will need to pick out a new assistant soon, you can't continue to monopolize all of Liza's time anymore." Kelsey smiled sweetly in Diana's direction.
"Oh, don't worry I'm going to help Diana find a new assistant this week Kelsey," Liza replied, trying to ease the silent tension and navigate this new power struggle between Diana and Kelsey.
"We'll be there in 10 minutes Kelsey." Diana tried to smile, but it ended up looking more like grimace.
Kelsey tilted her head at Liza, silently assessing both her and Diana. "Okay, see you then. Don't be late."
Diana started pacing behind her desk, "How could this happen? What was Quinn thinking, putting that spoiled, young, unexperienced girl in charge?" Trying to remain calm, Diana told herself to take 10 deep breaths. When that didn't work she sat down and closed her eyes, trying to make sense of her new world.
Liza watched as Diana started to rub her temples. Not wanting to interrupt or make her more upset, Liza just sat there almost holding her breath, silently waiting for Diana to speak.
"So you were saying Liza?"
Liza couldn't take it anymore, looked down and blurted out, "Charles and I are dating!"
For a moment it seemed that Diana had not heard Liza, until she looked up and saw the quiet shock and momentary devastation in Diana's eyes. Almost simultaneously she felt Diana's instant awareness at how long she had been the fool, unaware of Liza's real age and now how close Charles and Liza had become right in front of her. Liza could see the moment that Diana shuttered away her feelings and hid behind an emotionless expression. The bond that Liza had meticulously built with Diana, based on mutual trust and respect was slowly crumbling right before her eyes.
Silently Diana started stacking folders on her desk, not wanting to look at Liza anymore. Diana wasn't naïve, she knew that she and Charles were never truly a match, but this…. Charles and Liza? Her assistant? Diana didn't want to deal with any of this right now so she turned to her computer and began pulling up the marketing plan that she was currently working on. Not wanting to feel anything she forced all of it out of her mind.
"Diana, I-"
"You can leave now Liza."
"Oh, okay… Do you want me to-"
"No, close the door on your way out." Diana didn't even look in Liza's direction as she got up to leave.
Quietly Liza left Diana's office, feeling lost and broken. She had hurt Diana deeply, too many secrets kept hurting the people she cared most about. She had to somehow fix the hurt that she had caused. Deeply upset Liza sat at her desk and pulled out her phone, hoping for some words of comfort she started to text Charles. I told Diana… Liza couldn't stop the tears from falling.
"Finally, why were you in her office so long?" Kelsey interrupted, as Liza put her phone down and grabbed a tissue.
"Not now Kels," Liza blinked and wiped away her tears.
"What happened? Are you okay?" Kelsey sincerely asked.
Shaking her head, all Liza could say was "I can't talk about it right now. Just tell me what you need from me for the meeting?" Liza desperately wanted to bury herself in work right now. Anything to keep her distracted from thinking about Diana and her reaction to finding out about her and Charles.
"I just need to know that you are behind me 100% Liza."
Liza smiled softly, "I am here for you Kelsey, trust me."
Making their way to the conference room together, Liza could feel Kelsey's nerves. It was a good reminder that today wasn't all about Liza, that it was a new beginning for everybody here that worked for Empirical and now Millennial.
Kelsey took the seat at the head of the table, this was now her position, figuratively and literally. Liza had to admit she didn't know how much it would hurt, to not see Charles in that spot. Today was beginning to be much more than she could handle.
Kelsey was the face of Millennial, every decision would ultimately be up to Kelsey. Suddenly all of Liza's reassurances about Kelsey's abilities popped into her head, hoping and praying that she had been right to feel that way. Kelsey needed to be prepared for all of the difficulties that awaited her, and Liza hoped that Kelsey's stubborn pride wouldn't become a hindrance to her ability to successfully run Millennial. Liza would do whatever was necessary to help Millennial succeed and help carry on the wonderful legacy that Charles' family had built.
"So many exciting changes are happening here at Millennial," Kelsey began. "We want you to know how much we appreciate you sticking with us. There are new exciting possibilities for all of us, we are essentially starting over. New ideas, fresh concepts, and a complete focus on Millennial readers." Kelsey was bubbling with the joy she felt, she was ready to take this on. She had grown tired of the limitations Charles had put on her and Millennial. Now she could do things her way.
Waiting for Diana to come to the meeting, Liza tried to concentrate on what Kelsey was saying but her mind kept wandering, thinking of Diana and of Charles. She could hear Kelsey saying her name, "Isn't that right Liza?" Completely unaware that the meeting was ending, Liza guessed about what Kelsey was asking her.
"Umm, yes, of course. We are all going to help Millennial."
Kelsey looked at Liza and shook her head, "Thank you Liza, for your inspiring words. Anyways if you have any concerns please come to me. Thank you for all of your support. We can't wait to get started on these new projects."
Liza looked at her phone, the meeting had been over 30 minutes and she didn't think she had listened to anything Kelsey had said. Apologetically Liza whispered to Kelsey, "I am so sorry, I have a lot on my mind. Do you know where Diana is?"
"That's what you are worried about right now Liza? Did you even hear anything I just said in our important meeting?" Kelsey couldn't believe it. "Diana text me as we were walking in the meeting that she was leaving early because she was sick." Kelsey rolled her eyes. "I really don't have time for this today Liza. But I do need you to come to my office, we need to talk."
Liza followed Kelsey to Charles' old office, it was like a punch to the gut. Seeing it empty of all of his personal belongings, books, pictures of Nicole and Bianca, even the baseball that had sat on his desk was just too much. God, how much more could she take today?
"Look Liza, I can see how hard this is for you." Kelsey said as she shut the office door behind her. Liza sat in one of the chairs in front of what was now Kelsey's desk. "But I need to know that you are on MY side. That you and I are working together, I can't be worried that it will be you, Charles and me running Millennial. I need to be able to trust you, that you aren't constantly sharing private work information with Charles."
Liza could barely control the anger that was rising in her chest, the sadness was quickly being replaced. "Kels, he is still part of this company."
Shaking her head, Kelsey stubbornly said, "But he is NOT the Publisher anymore of this publishing house."
"You are right Kelsey, he isn't the publisher of his own family's legacy. The company that has been a part of his family for more than 60 years. Part of that is my fault, Quinn found out about us, and Charles stepped down to save the company, to save Millennial, and to save the jobs of the people that worked for him" Liza could barely even look at Kelsey.
"But, I… I thought that Quinn just wanted some new leadership. That Charles wasn't getting the job done and she thought it would be best to go in a new direction?" Kelsey couldn't believe that Charles had willingly stepped down.
Liza closed her eyes, she knew she had to stay calm. She wanted to reassure Kelsey and make her understand how big the sacrifice was for Charles. "Kelsey, you are an amazing editor, you have incredible instincts about what projects to pick and focus on. I believe that you are capable of running Millennial, and I will help you every step of the way. But you can't start off believing that Charles was terrible at his job, or that he is now your enemy. He isn't.
"No I don't think that… Okay maybe I do. I just want Millennial to thrive." The vulnerability that Kelsey hid so well was finally starting to show.
"It will, WE will create that. But you have to trust me, trust Quinn, and rely on the people around you. You have to be honest and be a clear communicator." Liza knew it was difficult for Kelsey to take any criticism, but this was important. "Our friendship is one of the most important parts of my life, but I can't let it affect our work dynamic. We have to be equals, trusting that we each want the best for not only each other but Millennial." Liza knew that she couldn't let Kelsey's pride stand in the way of Millennial succeeding.
Begrudgingly Kelsey agreed, "I know I have some serious trust issues, I am going to try and do better. This is incredibly important to me Liza, I don't want to fail."
Liza smiled, "Okay boss, what can I do to help you right now?"
Kelsey smiled, grateful that Liza could easily forgive and forget. "Move your stuff into my old office, and for the next week your only job is to find Diana a new assistant. I will need you as my full time #1 editor."
"I can do that." Liza felt her stomach drop, yes she would find a way to fix her and Diana's relationship and find her a new assistant. The former probably being easier than the latter.
Before Kelsey forgot she told Liza about the upcoming meeting, "Friday is our first meeting with Quinn, she wants to start planning out how we are going to expose your secret, helping sell her book, and putting Millennial in the spotlight."
"Oh, that soon?" The secret that had controlled Liza's life for the better part of 2 years had almost unraveled all of the way, was Liza really ready for all of the consequences?
"Yes, that soon, so you really do need to tell Diana. She is going to hate being the last one to know. Plus we are going to need her to come up with one hell of a marketing plan to help people understand why you lied about your age for so long."
"I will tell Diana…"
'Thanks Liza, I really do appreciate you keeping me level headed. I am obviously going to need it. Just keep believing in me okay?"
"I do believe in you Kelsey, I think we are going to do great things together." Liza smiled and walked out of what was now Kelsey's office. Heading to her desk she started to box up her stuff to move to her very own office. Was all of this really happening?
Liza's entire life was about to be exposed. The secrecy and lies that had dictated so much of who she was pretending to be were finally going to be gone. The undoubtable relief that settled itself on Liza was reassurance that she was finally ready to let the comfort of hiding behind this huge secret go. Liza was ready to show her true self. Real, successful, unapologetic, and authentic, she loved the person that she had become.
It was 8 when Liza finally walked into the loft and collapsed onto the comfortable blue couch.
"Ouch, you look like a person in desperate need of a stiff drink!"
"Yes, I am that person Maggie." Liza moaned, still face down on the couch. Liza finally turned over when Maggie brought her a glass of wine and a plate of chocolate chip cookies.
"Wine and cookies were the best I could do, although I do have my emergency stash of weed. If you're interested?"
"Ha, wine and cookies will be enough." Liza took a big gulp of wine and stuffed half a cookie in her mouth. "I told Diana," Liza mumbled over a mouthful of cookie.
"I take it, that it didn't go as well as you hoped?"
"She took finding out about my real age pretty good, but then I told her about me and Charles. It was awful Maggie." Liza was so tired of thinking about it, but she had to talk to someone. When she had tried calling Charles earlier it just went to voicemail.
"Oh Liza, I'm sorry but Diana will get over it. She's a grown woman for heaven sakes. Besides isn't she getting laid regularly by that plumber? What's the big deal?" Only Maggie could make her feel better about this ridiculous situation.
"I wish it was that simple. I think it was more the realization of the two secrets together. I lied to her for 2 years Maggie. Diana isn't the must trustful person, and she doesn't let many people in. But she did with me and I really hurt her." Finishing the wine made Liza feel slightly better. "Diana left work after I told her everything, and I can't stop thinking about how I need to try and fix everything."
"Liza, why don't you go over to Diana's right now? She has had her time to sulk."
"But, Oh I don't know Maggie…. Is that really a good idea?"
Maggie smiled, "Yes because you are going to bring her an expensive bottle of wine and you are both going to get drunk until you work this out. I know you Liza Miller, you won't stop worrying about her until it's all straightened out. And I can't take any more of your nervous energy in this loft, go now or I will have to smother you in your sleep. You can even take my stash of weed if you think that will help!"
"You could never smother me, you love me too much," laughing Liza knew that Maggie was right. "Okay I will have to stop and get a nice bottle of vodka, I'll pass on the weed. Drunk Diana is already more than I can handle. Thanks Maggie."
Liza's palms were sweaty as she knocked on Diana's door. She had bought the most expensive brand of vodka, hoping the more expensive brand would help Diana forgive her quicker.
"Oh, it's youuu," Diana slurred as she opened her door, wearing silk pajamas and an emerald green robe. Liza could smell the alcohol, Diana was already three sheets to the wind. Liza wished she was drunk too right about now, she could have used some liquid courage.
"Diana," Liza began, "I am so sor-"
"Don't just stand there, come in," Diana waved her arms and pulled Liza in by her arm. "Sorry for what exactly?"
"Umm, well first for not being completely truthful with you."
"Is that it?" Diana replied, she certainly wasn't going to let Liza off the hook that easy.
"Well not exactly, I didn't want to hurt you Diana. I didn't tell you about my age because I thought you wouldn't be able to trust me and then you would fire me. I didn't tell you about my relationship with Charles partly because of my lie and I know how you previously felt about Charles." Liza tried to keep eye contact with Diana, trying to see if her words had any impact but it was difficult. Diana was so inebriated, she was currently using all of her brain function just to stand. "But no, I'm not sorry about dating Charles." Liza finished.
Diana, in her current state heard everything that Liza was saying but couldn't concentrate because there were 2 Liza's in front of her. She closed one eye and left the other open. There, that's better, Diana thought to herself. Sighing she grabbed Liza in a tight hug. Liza could barely breathe, wondering if Diana had finally lost it and was trying to suffocate her. "I guess it really is for the best, I mean I'm not single anymore and I really wouldn't want Charles to be alone forever, just waiting for love. The timing really was just never there for us."
"Uh, I guess it wasn't," said Liza, not really knowing how to respond.
"Here come sit," Diana finally let Liza out of the death grip she had on her and led her to the couch. "I was upset today, I have to admit." Diana still had one eye closed and was extremely close to Liza's face. "I was still thinking of you as some 26 year old assistant, and well Charles will always have a special place in my heart."
"Of course," Liza couldn't help but smile at Diana's rationale.
"But sitting here in my apartment drinking, I realized how incredibly happy I am right now, in this moment with a PLUMBER! Who would have guessed that? And what does that say about me?" Diana asked, laying her head back against the couch and closing her eyes.
Liza wasn't sure if Diana actually wanted an answer or not, "It says that you are open to the possibility of love, that it doesn't matter what he does for a living. Enzo loves you Diana and I think you love him."
"That's really beautiful Liza…. But I think I am going to be sick." Diana leapt up and stumbled over her expensive rug, knocking over a lamp and barely making it to her bathroom.
Liza hesitantly followed Diana, concerned and somewhat relieved that she had made it to the bathroom. "Diana?" Liza slowly opened the door, "Are you okay?" She could see the outline of Diana in her beautiful robe sprawled out on the bathroom floor next to the toilet.
Diana moaned and muttered to herself, "What in the hell was in that vodka, the devil himself?"
Silently chuckling, Liza helped Diana off the bathroom floor, praying that Diana would have no memories of being drunk and sick on her bathroom floor. Helping Diana get into bed, Liza pulled up the covers to Diana's chin and tucked her in, like a child. "Let me get you some water and aspirin, you are going to need it."
Liza found some medicine above the bathroom sink and helped Diana take it, holding the glass of water to Diana's lips. Grabbing Liza's hand Diana whispered, "Thank you Liza. You are one of my only real friends."
Liza smiled, grateful for Diana's admission, "You are one of my real friends too Diana."
Letting Liza's hand go, Diana offered one more piece of advice to Liza, "If you tell anyone about any of this, I will make sure that you stay my assistant forever."
Laughing, Liza promised Diana that it would stay just between them.
On her way out of Diana's apartment Liza ran into Enzo. "Liza, what are you doing here? Is Diana okay?"
"Umm, everything is okay, but Diana had a little too much to drink. But everything is fine and I got her to bed." Liza gave Enzo a reassuring smile.
"Diana had too much to drink? I haven't seen her like that." Enzo smiled. "Ahh, now the voicemail makes sense."
"Voicemail?" Liza asked.
"Ya, she left me a 2 minute voicemail that was extremely confusing and really dirty."
Liza's eyes widened, "I'm going to give you some advice Enzo, delete the voicemail and never mention it to Diana."
Enzo laughed, "I think you're right, thanks for taking care of her Liza. You are really important to her."
"She's important to me too, Good night Enzo."
Liza walked to Diana's elevator, feeling much better and grateful for the strong women in her life. Feeling her phone start to buzz in her pocket, she pulled it out and saw that Charles was calling. Now this was the best way to end her night. "Hello?"
"Hi, I've been thinking about you all day. How did it all go?"
"So much to tell, are you sitting down, do you have the next 2 hours free?"
"That bad huh? I just put the girls to bed and I am all yours for as long as you need me. And to tell you how much I missed you today."
Smiling, Liza began to tell Charles all about her day, grateful that she was talking to him. Her own little world finally was starting to regain its balance.