WARNING : This chapter contains some unpleasant sexual mentions (no rape though)

SVU-SVU-SVU-SVU-SVU-SVU-SVU-SVU-SVU-SVU-SVU-SVU-SVU-SVU-SVU-SVU-SVU-SVU-SVU-SVU-SVU-SVU-SVU-SVU-SVU-SVU-SVU-SVU-SVU-SVU-SVU-SVU-SVU

Wednesday, November 3 – Jeff's office, Medford, Oregon

Relax. A few hours to go, and this is all over. Olivia told herself one hour before the big final.

"You know Pers" Jeff almost whispered, his hands on her waist "after all this is over, I'm gonna miss you".

Olivia smiled at him. "I'm gonna miss you too" she lied to her teeth. Her only wish was to get away from here, as fast as possible.

Jeff placed a gentle kiss on her cheek and Olivia fought the urge to step back. She had enough of playing this game. Seducing Jeff to get information, let him kiss her every once in a while to let him think she was all his. Somehow, she felt tonight was different. Jeff was as charming as always, but Olivia saw something in his eyes that made her want to run away. But tonight amongst every nights, she couldn't.

"Yeah" Jeff chuckled stepping back and sitting at the edge of his desk. "Don't tell your boyfriend though".

Olivia swallowed, and offered him a shy smile "I better not".

"You know who's not gonna miss you?" Jeff asked, crossing his arms, a grin on his face.

"Who?"

"Dereck". Olivia rolled her eyes, which didn't go unnoticed by Jeff. "I know, I know… he keeps saying I shouldn't trust you. He thinks I shouldn't bring you tonight".

"And what do you think?" Olivia asks, walking toward him, and offering a seducing smile to chase away any doubt he could have.

Jeff shook his head and laughed. "I think you're a seductress" he answered before pulling her towards him and crashing his lips on hers. Olivia clenched her fist and relaxed immediately. Relax. A few hours to go, and this is all over. "But I told him you were dedicated to our cause" he continued. He removed a tangle from her face to place it behind her ear. "Just because you kept your boyfriend secret doesn't mean you're gonna screw up the operation, right?"

Olivia had to admit she was impressed by Jeff's ability to always be charming and threatening at the same time. "Of course not" she answered as confident as possible. Her heart was pounding in her chest, dreading what would come next.

Jeff adjusted himself on his desk and pulled Olivia towards him again, her body flushed against him. "You know" he whispered in her ear before gently biting her lobe "I'm really gonna miss you". Olivia swallowed hard. She was sure he could feel her heart pounding against his chest, and prayed her nervousness would be mistaken with arousal, as his fingers were toying at the hem of her shirt. She knew what he wanted now. What he was asking for. Before she had time to react, Jeff's lips were on hers again, his tongue seeking for entrance, and his cold right hand was massaging her ass under her panties.

Olivia freaked out and jumped back. "I have a boyfriend" she said firmly, trying to hide the shaking of her voice.

"Whatever happens between these walls, doesn't get out of here, right?". She knew what he was implying. Secrets. Plots. Even sex. He was testing her loyalty. She was trapped. If she stepped back now, he wouldn't trust her for the big final. Sadly, she couldn't afford to give up now. She went too far, sacrificed too much to put an end to this operation. But she couldn't sleep with this criminal. This was against the rules, and she didn't want it anyway. She couldn't let him dispose of her like that. She had to say something, find a way out, but as those past weeks took away most of her energy, she was running out of options and stamina. She had to make a quick decision…

She slowly walked to him, kissed him, and placed her shaking hands on his belt. There was no turning back. Relax. A few hours to go, and this is all over.

SVU-SVU-SVU-SVU-SVU-SVU-SVU-SVU-SVU-SVU-SVU-SVU-SVU-SVU-SVU-SVU-SVU-SVU-SVU-SVU-SVU-SVU-SVU-SVU-SVU-SVU-SVU-SVU-SVU-SVU-SVU-SVU-SVU

Jeff threw the condom away, a huge grin on his face as Olivia got dressed. He gave her one last kiss before heading to the door. "You should get ready. We leave in half an hour".

Olivia forced a smile but couldn't utter a word, the enormity of what just happened hitting her. She suddenly felt sick and wanted to crawl out of her skin. She left Jeff's office and met Dereck in the corridor. She ran past him, locked herself in the bathroom, and threw up in the sink. She opened the tap and let the water flow as much to clean her mess as to cover her muffled sobs. But even after emptying the content of her stomach, she still felt nauseous. She took a depp breath and gave her heart some time to slow its pace. She then wiped her mouth with the back of her shaking hand, looked up and gave a furious look at this sick, dirty, useless, disgusting, weak woman staring back at her. She turned her back as she couldn't stand the sight of her reflection anymore. She couldn't believe she had let it happen… She, Olivia Benson, special victims unit detective, slept with a criminal. It would probably cost her her job. She ruined her career over one undercover operation. But she had no time to cry on her own misery. She poured fresh water on her face, arranged her clothes, and left the bathroom to join the others on the dormitory. She packed the few items she carried with her, lost in her thoughts and jumped when she felt a hand on her shoulder.

"Hey Persephone" Hope greeted her. Olivia smiled at her but said nothing as she picked an outfit in her bag and closed it. "Is everything alright? I haven't seen you in a while. Where have you been?" her friend inquired.

"I'm not feeling well" Olivia answered more coldly than she intended. "Bad time of the month" she lied.

"Oh…" Hope gave her a compassionate smile. "I have an herbal infusion that can help you if you want" she offered.

"Nah, thanks. I need to get ready, we're leaving soon… I guess I'm just a little nervous".

"Yeah, me too. I can't believe this is our last action". Hope eyes were glittering with emotion. "This is our last night together…" her voice broke.

"Yeah…" Olivia looked into Hope's eyes and she felt a pinch on her chest. There was so many things she wanted to tell her. During the past weeks, Hope grew on her and she was now very attached to the young woman. She felt like she owed her the truth. She also wanted to tell her to run as fast and as far away as possible. She knew many people would be arrested tonight and she felt like she was betraying her friend. She opened her mouth but stopped on her track. She already screwed up once tonight. Instead, she hugged her tight and whispered "Take care of you…". Then she left the room, holding back tears. She went back to the bathroom, changed her outfit, threw away the one she was wearing while Jeff was on her, and looked at her pale reflection. "It's time".