"We're throwing a party!"

What?!

I thought that the set up this morning was crazy enough. The club wanted to have the club room decorated like a tropical paradise, with costumes and birds and everything you could imagine. They even had a costume for me, which I had to wear, since I still desperately wanted to play the piano at the end of the day.

Once it was noon, we had to take down all the decorations and catch all the animals. Though I had to do most of the work while Kyoya ominously watched. By the time we were done, it was way past lunch and I had to skip.

How much more of this can I take?

"Come on, Mallory. Your helping plan too."

I dragged my feet as I walked to me chair and sat down. I was the newest "member", so I was at the end.

"So, lets first start with Mallory learning how to dance."

Dammit!!

I--I

"Great work, Mallory. You almost have it."

Why do I have to dance?!

I was holding hands with Tamaki, and he was helping me learn how to waltz. Apparently, dancing was essential for every member to know, including me, so I had to be taught first and foremost.

I watched my feet as I moved with him, nervous with his hand on my waist. I was used to someone having the intent to hurt me if they touched me. I had my guard up on instinct, so I was a little stiff as I danced.

Suddenly, he tripped over my leg, and before I knew it, my back was on the floor, and Tamaki was on top of me.

"S-sorry! I didn't mean to! I just tripped, and I ..."

I wasn't listening anymore.

He said sorry?

I haven't heard that word in years. Even after years of bullying and adults judging me because my mother was dead, none of them said sorry. They just left my life without another word. But this boy who had brought me into this ridiculous club had said sorry to me. Those words poked at the boundaries around my heart, daring to enter. I kept my defenses up. I wasn't going to be heartbroken again.

He got off of me, and I followed getting up.

"Are you okay? That looked like it hurt." He asked, concerned.

I nodded, though my back stung a little from the impact and the bruises that had suffered as well. At least it wasn't as bad as what I have experienced in the past.

"Let's continue, shall we?"

I rested a hand on his shoulder, and we continued.

I--I

The party started off pretty well. Unfortunately, I was assigned to pass around drinks and treats instead of play the piano as the music. And here I was, wearing a male's uniform and holding a tray with drinks and sweets.

One of the girls partying took a glass, while another grabbed a piece of candy. Each tray was emptied quickly, since the snack bar was small and everyone was excited and had to skip dinner to get outfits for the occasion.

At least I have something to do besides homework on a Sunday.

As the hours passed by, the clock struck nine, and the tray I held stayed full when I walked around. When I found out I was holding a full tray for half an hour, I knew that my duty was done.

Perhaps I can change into my dress now.

I quickly set down the tray at the snack bar and went to the changing rooms. On a nearby table just outside of them, was a large paper bag.

For just one night, I would like to be someone else.

In one of the changing rooms, I got out of the uniform and got into the dress I had bought earlier. It was navy blue with sapphires encrusted near the hem. It had long sleeves, and a neckline that nearly started to creep up my neck. My shoes were pitch-black heels, and my hair was brushed until it shone like gold. I had some makeup that I bought earlier, and I applied some to make my face look somewhat decent. In the end, I couldn't recognize myself.

I looked in the mirror, and smiled. I looked much different, I looked pretty. At least my waist was small, and the long dress hid my hideous legs. With the makeup, no one would be able to recognize me.

For once, I can be someone that isn't hiding behind a mask of failure and disease.

I exited the changing room, and entered the dance hall. I could see some of the club members dancing with other girls, but I couldn't find any of them that weren't dancing.

It's fine. I should just go and walk around a bit.

But as I tried to jump into conversations with other groups, I could feel fear start to build up. What if I made a fool of myself? What if they thought I was weird?

I can't let SAD control me. I came here to try and start fresh, to cure myself of this.

I knew that there was a medication you were supposed to take for this disorder, but He always refused to let me get treatment. So I've had to try and deal with it, and most of the time it resulted in my attempts of suicide.

This party should help me, at least so I can try to overcome this.

In a corner of the hall, there was a large group of girls who appeared to be around my age. The awkwardness and fear that always followed me was now going to be pushed aside. If I was going to attend this school, I had to try and make friends.

I tried to enter the small circle in a gap between two girls, and I started with a simple introduction.

"H-hi, I'm Mallory, and I'm a new student here. Would it be okay if I hung out with you all?" I asked, nervous.

I repeated what I said in my brain, making sure that I didn't make any mistakes or said anything stupid.

But one of the girls stood high above them all, and I immediately trembled in fright.

"I thought I told you to go die already, Noir. Go die like your stupid mother and do us the favor, won't you?"

Seika...

"I-I..."

Everyone else in the group began to whisper to each other, and none came to my aid.

"Are you gonna cry?" She spat, her smirk forming on her lips.

Why... this is... how can she... I can't take this anymore!

I ran from the group and down one of the hallways, up the stairs, and to one of the empty classrooms. I went into a random one, and leaned against the large window that showed the night sky and the courtyard.

I really am worthless...

My hand was pressed against the glass. I knew that one of the rooms had a balcony, and I just needed to jump.

Is this really what I want? To jump and get it over with?

In the past, I would slit my wrist. But before I would bleed out one of the servants would always find me and I would be taken to a hospital. If I jumped, and right now, it would decrease the chances of me being saved.

With a heavy sigh, I walked out of the classroom and to one of the other rooms down the hall. I eventually found one with a balcony, and I entered.

"Don't think that you can fool me."

I was startled by the voice, but realized that it was only Tamaki. He was inside the room, just outside the balcony. He was adorned in a white tuxedo with a white rose in the cloth by his shoulder. His hair was cropped neatly, and his purple eyes seemed to shine in the nocturne setting.

"Wh-what do you mean? I've never seen you before." I lied, trying to decisive him.

If he finds out I snuck out and joined the dance instead of doing my duty as one of the members, I'll get in trouble! Then I might not be able to play the piano!

"Don't try to fool me, Mallory. I knew that you would eventually try to join the party, and I don't blame you. It's quite a beautiful night, isn't it?"

Why isn't he mad? How is he so calm about this?

I walked inside the room, suddenly drawn by his presence. Was I falling for him because he was different than what I thought he would be?

I nodded in agreement, and we both walked out onto the balcony, and gazed at the stars.

"Hey, Senpai?"

"You don't need to call me Senpai here, Tamaki is fine."

"Er, Tamaki... have you ever thought... that death might be better?"

He looked startled from the question, but his eyes didn't lose their shine.

"Don't do it."

I grasped the railing. I wanted to do it so badly, but he would easily be able to catch me.

"I want to so badly, I can't find anything else to depend on for happiness."

If you do it now, you can get it over with.

Slowly, I brought up my knee and tried to get up. He was unsure how to react at first, but he grabbed my hand, and refused to let me go any further.

"Don't do it, Mallory! What about the piano? What about the club? You don't need to end it!"

I looked down at the ground far below us, and then Tamaki. Why would this boy, who barely even knew me, be concerned if I killed myself or not?

"But... you don't know me! You don't know the struggles I have to deal with every day! I'm always reminded of what I am, and why I need to die! I would be better off doing that than trying to be like everyone else!"

Suddenly, he yanked me off the railing, and we both toppled backward. His arms were holding onto my body tight, refusing to let go. I desperately tried to get away.

"Let go of me! Let go!"

His arms, despite being used to wrap around the shoulders of girls and hold teapots, were able to hold my body and try to suppress my suicidal intentions.

"Please! Just let me die! I can't take this anymore!"

He held on tighter, my face pressed against his chest. He didn't speak a word to me as I screamed and tried to get out of his grasp.

"Please... I can't... just... let me..."

Out of breath, I finally relaxed, and I clenched his shirt as my emotions were turned into the form of tears. But I knew the massive dam of my deep sorrow from my early years and pain were yet to be released. How will I react when that happens? Will I be able to handle it?

"Are you okay now?" He asked, his chin resting on the top of my head.

I nodded. I was too exhausted to speak.

He slowly let me get off him, but my struggle left me tired, and he helped me get up, and we realized how much of a mess I was. My makeup was messy and my hair was slightly tangled.

"Oh god, we're both a mess."

Unfortunately, his tux was white, and my mascara stuck out like a sore thumb, along with the rest of the makeup.

"I can't really do anything, but we should wipe off that makeup." He suggested.

We walked to the restrooms, but I walked into the girls room by myself, for obvious reasons. He stood outside and waited for me as I walked inside, and stood at the sink.

What just happened?

I could still feel his warm body embracing me. That warm kindness that I haven't felt in years was incredible. I wanted it so badly. It would be the one thing keeping me from killing myself.

What if I asked him out? Would he say yes?

I never dated anyone before, so I had no idea what it was like. I just hoped that it was better than what I had to go through with Him.

It's worth a shot. I need to try to tackle SAD if I'm ever going to move on.

I used a towel to wipe off all the makeup, and my face was now the same as it was before. My cheeks were slightly sunken, but I didn't care. I didn't know how, but I got a great amount of confidence that told me that who I was is who I should be.

I walked out of the restroom, and the two of us walked back to the dance hall, but no one was there.

"Where is everyone?" He asked, his voice echoing.

I knew that the party didn't end until midnight, and it was only around nine thirty.

If you listened very carefully, you could hear a quiet cheer. The doors to the courtyard were shut, but I realized that on the other side of the yard was all the girls and the rest of the club.

I pointed to it, and we both walked out into the chilly night air.

All the other members were standing together in front and center of the crowd, Kyoya holding a microphone.

"I would like to give this night's Grand Waltz to this couple, Tamaki Suoh and Mallory Noir." He announced, as the band on the left began to play Spring Waltz by Chopin.

We were given the Grand Waltz?

As discussed, we wanted to have a Grand Waltz at some point in the party to let the star couple dance alone. But I never thought I would get it.

Tamaki held out his hand to me, and I nervously looked at him, waiting for him to speak. I was in complete shock, unsure how to handle this. Normally, my SAD would've made me run away and never come back, but now I wanted to have a chance to forget that.

"Mallory, may I have this dance?" He asked.

Nervously, I took his hand as a light breeze wafted through the air, blowing the petals of the cherry blossoms.

Just like practice, he placed a hand on my waist, and I placed my own on his shoulder. Our free hands met and our fingers intertwined, gripping tightly.

I followed his lead as we danced in the courtyard, petals getting stuck in my hair, and his smile remaining gentle and kind.

This has to be the happiest I've been in a long time. I would normally not be interested in doing these kinds of things, but I'm actually enjoying it.

As the song ended, everyone else started to fill the courtyard and continue the party. I leaned forward so that Tamaki would be able to hear me, and I prepared the question I wanted to ask.

"Tamaki, will you, um... go out with me?"

Even though his tuxedo was smeared in my makeup, and he was slightly sweaty from the excitement of the night, he still smiled.

And he nodded.