An update.

A flickering light comes on in a dark, windowless hallway, illuminating a door. Taped to the door is a white sheet of paper with "Smash Cut" sloppily scribbled onto it. The paper falls off as the door creeks open, revealing a darkened room, save for one light, illuminating one man.

"Hey gang," says Robin. "It's been a spell. Have a seat. I know it's a big day tomorrow, but let's dish. This could be an author's note, directly from White Patch, but he was honestly kind of a bit much in the author's notes in the past, so we're just gonna talk like this. As you can see, things haven't really been active on this account for a few years now. That's because the author was in school, and his creative writing was put in much more of a spotlight then it used to be."

"But now things have slowed down, and he's at that age where he can reflect on his works, and he's realized 'Ah! I haven't actually written anything in months! But I have so many ideas! I'm such a big, strong, fancy writer! The next great American playwright, but I can only outline vaguely dumb ideas!"

"It was around the time he wrote an outline for a Waluigi musical when he realized that it might help to go back to his roots. Get that goofy vibe back. So he looked through the old tombs and found his way back to Fanfiction, home to all of his failed projects. I can confidently say that anything that hasn't been updated has been canceled. Although he'll probably come back to Teaching of the Bard. That one was going somewhere."

"Do you want to know what happened to Smash Cut? It got too complicated. He had this whole plan where I would do the interview and then have a second part of the chapter showcasing life in Smash-whatever. Now that we're talking about it, I've never seen that kind of story fully work. It's difficult to have a story with eighty characters that you feel obligated to represent as soon as possible. The ones that have worked well worked because they built up to it. Usually, they wind up focusing on specific characters, and it's usually the anime crowd. I'm allowed to complain because I'm one of them."

"Anyway, it was going to have this big plot about me going against the female Robin, who was literally an exact gender-swap of me, so of course I'd hate her. And there was this whole thing about cut characters and Chrom was gonna show up and it was just…a lot. Then the DLC characters happened and there was a lot to keep up with and...Well, Patchy got overwhelmed and ghosted."

"Honestly, that was probably for the best. Have you read Smash Cut? It's a mess. The only recoverable chapter is the DK one. So Smash Cut has been canceled because they haven't cut anyone this time."

"Now, you're probably wondering why this update even exists. It's because we're doing a full reboot of the Smash Cut premise, as well as a very soft reboot of some of the Decruited canon. It's nothing major. Lucina and I are still together, largely because that would just throw all of Fixer Upper out the window, and that still holds up, folks. I think the only major changes are stuff like Morgan not being married and the dead kids not being dead, plus none of whatever the hell Failed a Spot Pass was about. We're just gonna keep all of this simple and accessible to newcomers. If you see something that doesn't add up, just let it be, Danial."

"So! Starting next Friday, after the new Smash has been out for a week, you're gonna see a new story pop up. We're going back to basics. Just me and another character going at each other. There will be new chapters about the characters that have already been written about. There are no planned out bigger plotlines or anything. If there's anything connected, it'll be bits and whatever. Let it flow naturally. There'll be at least one update a week and each will at most be around 1k."

"I'm trying to think of a natural way to end this, but to be completely honest, at the moment I'm just kind of a mouthpiece for this update. It's getting late and there isn't really anything left to say. It's at the point where even though White Patch has become better at the whole proofreading thing, things are probably gonna slip through the cracks to get this one out in time"

"...There is one thing. We need a new name for this."

"Nobody was cut. Smash Cut doesn't work as a name. There are a few ideas, but leave a review or message about which ones you like or if you've got a suggestion. We're gonna keep the Author Note talk minimum from now on, because yikes. Those old updates are rough. I'll leave you with a few suggestions as I struggle to find a natural exit."

Robin stands silent. After a moment's hesitation, the view begins to pull out, and the door is pulled closed. Before it could close all the way, Robin pokes his head out the door.

"Oh, by the way, we're looking into cross-posting on AOO, so look forward to that if you're interested."

The door closes, and a new list appears.

You, Me, and A Little Under Eighty Of Our Closest Friends

Smashing Evaluations

Robin's New Recruits

Smashed

Decruited but Smash Brothers

Your Main is Trash

Your Main Sucks

Main Shaming

Smooshed