Disclaimer: I do not own Marvel; only Rebecca and the world surrounding her.
I Wanna Be There - Blessid Union of Souls
Welcome to Lithe from the To Build A Home Series!
Thanks to Taylor Noelle Hood, MuffinHipsta, Kadence1, January Lilly,
and everyone that reviewed, favorited, and subscribed to this story so far!
This is a very emotional chapter overall so please read at your own pace. But I love this chapter and how the relationships have tied together to get here.
Also I just rewatched the first season of Agents of SHIELD for the first time probably since it came out, and it truly shaped where Becca will be heading forward and I'm very excited to for you to see her progression in the organization.
I Wanna Be There
Cause you got so much to give
But you throw it all away
And all you got to show for who you are is pain
And I've got so much to give
If you'd only let me in
I'm gonna take the time to show you I'm a friend
You'll believe in love again
Becca's eyes opened wide, her breath coming in and out with short bursts. Her heart was pounding against her chest and in her ears, almost, just almost blocking out the noise that woke her in the first place. But she could still hear it. She took in her surroundings, unusual at first but starting to put all the pieces back together. She was in the room Tony had designed for her in the Tower and by the clock on the wall she had either slept 24 hours or possibly more.
After the battle, the Avengers had taken Loki to a holding cell at SHIELD, this time with shackles and a muzzle, with no way for him to be sent free unless it as one of them of Fury to do the freeing. They weren't going to play that game again. The guards understanding that thoroughly with the threat of the Hulk beating their heads in from Natasha. The redhead alone was terrifying and the mention of the big guy, that was the cherry on top.
They had moved Eric Selvig as well, the man a mumbling mess at that point and no one discouraging it. He was handed off to the doctors almost immediately with the hope of helping his mental health process. That healing process was quickly turned on the team as well. Doctors swarming the seven on Fury's order, each taken for a checkup. That's when things began to go fuzzy for Becca. They had given her a strong dose of pain medication for her leg and other injuries. At some point, Tony had convinced, or rather told her he was taking her back to the tower. And now walking up there.
The loud bang that woke her happened again, the fear of what was happening on the other side of the door bubbling in her stomach. Her hand out of instinct tried to grab a knife but none were on her or close by. She pulled her body finally into a sitting position with much struggle. Becca pushed through the pain and exhaustion to stumble to her suit and gear lying on the chair next to her bed. Pulling out the one clean knife she had left, Becca limped to the door. The door easily pulled away from the frame and allowed the spy to hesitantly look around, knife poised at her side. Even with the limp, she had managed to get to the end of the hallway soundlessly. Her body deflated in ease at the sight in the kitchen, the man walking back and forth from the counter to the stove to the fridge. His movements halting at seeing the girl peeking around the corner.
"Hey kid." Rhodey smiled softly at the sight of his niece in one piece.
Becca nearly broke down right there. She held it together enough to limp her way to him, the knife clattering on the countertop before falling in her uncle's arms. He held her tightly, feeling her body give out from exhaustion.
"When'd you get here?" Her voice hoarse from using it for the first time in a longtime.
"Yesterday. Your dad called for backup, but it seemed like I missed the fight." Rhodey gently pulled back, but still kept a hold of her shoulders to get a good look at her. There were cuts and bruises still littering her body that even her shower the previous day couldn't wipe away. But the sore spot was the giant white ace bandage securely wrapped around her thigh. "Are you okay, Bec?"
Was she okay? That was such a loaded question. She hadn't had time yet to make sense of the events that had played out the past several days. Her body simply shut off once the fighting was done and the proper orders were put in place. Now she was standing in the aftermath, literally.
"Check back with me in a few."
He nodded, giving her a kiss on the forehead before helping her to take a seat at the counter. She took time to look around to see the damage. There wasn't much thankfully in this part of the apartment, but she was sure a level down where much of the fight took place was a different story.
"Where's my dad?" She took a deep drink from the water battle that was placed in front of her.
"He went to take care of a few things with Pepper and Happy."
She perked up significantly at the names. Everyone was there, her whole family. Their ears must have been ringing, because not long after the elevator opened and loud talking echoed off the walls.
"What can I say, you're right."
"Boy, if only JARVIS was recording at that second to have that on replay forever." Tony's voice was light at the comment, as he walked towards the two with Pepper and Happy on his heels. The trio stopped at seeing the two set up in the kitchen. "You're awake." Tony smiled at his daughter.
Before anything else could be said, Pepper was rushing over and pulling the daughter to her. The warmth enveloped Becca immediately, the older women's rich perfume swelling through her nose that she recognized with safety over the many years now. The brunette dug her face into the other's shoulder as her eyes were again welled up with tears. She wasn't even sure why she was crying at this point. Just overly emotional from exhaustion.
"I was so worried, so worried about you." Pepper's strong grip not letting go. Say what you wanted, look at the birth certificate, but Pepper Potts was her mother and she had been since day one. "I'm never letting you two out of my sight again."
"Exaggeration." Tony commented, setting some items down on the counter. Obviously playing off the whole event.
"I'm okay, Pep." Becca slowly untangled herself.
"You know I love you," the women smoothed down her wavy hair, looking over her face for pain, "but I hate your job."
She sniffed, a small smile falling on her lips. "Duly noted."
Pepper gave her one last squeeze before pulling herself together to get back to the task at hand. "You making dinner?" She asked the Colonel.
"Trying to if I stop getting sidetracked." Rhodey nearly slapped Tony with the poon from stealing veggies off the cutting board. It was honestly like watching children and they were when they were in an easy environment.
Happy rolled his eyes at the two before taking his turn to approach Becca with a kiss on the cheek. "Good to see you, kid."
"You too, Hap." She squeezed his arm in love.
"Picked up your stuff from SHIELD." Tony pushed the bundle of items across the counter to her. His voice was soft at the mention of the organization, trying to gauge her reaction.
'Thanks." Becca whispered, fingers trapped in the denim of her clothes to bring them closer. Her phone sat on the top, blinking to notify her of missed texts and calls. The second she turned the screen on she would have to be pulled back, and she hadn't even looked out her own windows yet.
She did however take notice to her father's actions. He was the best at pushing his problems away and pretending everything was okay. But she could see the tired and bloodshot eyes along with stress still held in his shoulders. He had all but surrendered himself for the greater good and that was something that would have to be addressed eventually. But as she watched her family interact, the dread that still sat inside her was calmed. That was until a person who had done something so very similar to Tony was out there and she had no idea where he was.
"Where is everyone else?"
Her voice was louder than it had been yet, taking the four adults by surprise. But the question was directed towards her father since he's the only one to know that answer.
"I believe everyone was staying at the office the last I heard." He came to rest on the counter across from her. "They were taking up some rooms there."
She nodded, chipping at her nails that were destroyed from the battle. "And…outside?"
Rhodey, Pepper, and Happy were trying to keep themselves busy to give the father and daughter their space, but the cloud was over all of them. They had watched the events unfold, but the two Starks were in the legit middle of it.
"Clean up is starting." Tony said matter of factly.
"Damage Control?" Becca asked, wondering if SHIELD was on top of it.
"For the moment. I'm looking to take it over."
"Meaning?" She rose an eyebrow at him.
He rolled his shoulders letting the pressure off them. "Meaning to buy it out."
"With the help of the government." Rhodey spoke up now, this was his involvement now too.
"How's that going?" She asked the two.
"It's a process." Tony explained. "If SHIELD is still going to be quiet about the organization, we need to get the Damage Control out so that it will be able to help easier and faster."
It made sense. And it gave SHIELD some leeway.
"There is something else though." The elder Stark's voice uneasy this time as he pulled out a rolled-up newspaper.
Becca cautiously took the offering and unrolled her fate. The front page was splashes of the battle. The portal open in the sky, Chitauri and more. But what truly struck her eyes was the obvious image of her father as Iron Man, but then her own face next to it with the caption 'Superhero Runs in the Family'.
"Nothing has been confirmed or denied yet." Pepper's CEO voice taking over." We're keeping the press at bay."
It was official. The thing that Nick Fury and herself had been working against and preparing for was finally here. This was it. The world was a step away from knowing the new Rebecca 'Lithe' Stark.
"How do you want to handle this?"
Her hazel eyes left the page to see everyone staring at her now. She would say that she no longer was able to be told what to do in a situation as a kid, but she has honestly always been in control of her own life and choices.
"I have to talk to my Director." She explained to all of them. "We've been working on what to do in this situation and I have to be smart about it." Becca pushed the newspaper away, no longer able to look at it. "I've been a spy for the past four years, so when my identity gets revealed, I'm likely to have a lot of enemies on my back waiting to hunt me down."
"Well, that's not going to happen-"
"-But it might." She cut off her father. "I've got enemies too. I've done some questionable things to get my job done when I needed to. The difference is I've been more secluded about it."
The chilled air-condition was almost a blessing as she walked through the doors of SHIELD. Guards were placed at each door and the overall feel was anxiety. Everyone in the vicinity was on edge, as if they were waiting for the next shoe to drop. She honestly was the same ever since she stepped foot outside only a few minutes ago. Happy had drove, assisting that was the safest for herself and she barely had a choice in the matter. That and a bum leg, she was slightly out of options.
Becca stopped off at the medic floor first to check out said injury before heading up to her own office. They changed the bandage and gave her a bottle of pain medication that she should be taking. They said all-in-all it wasn't to badly damaged, but she was officially on medical leave for the time being. She honestly couldn't tell if it was from her physical or mental state at the moment.
She wasn't surprised to find the office already occupied upon entering, and was almost hoping to find someone there. Especially for it to be Clint. She stayed quiet upon seeing he was talking on the phone, but he did however give her a smile in greeting as she took her spot at her own desk.
"I swear Laur, I'm fine. Everyone is just fine." Clint spoke, sounding like this had been the same thing he has been saying for quite awhile now from the sigh that followed. "Nat and Becca are fine...why don't believe me?"
The latter of said girls giggled as the phone was directed in her direction now, with a pleading look from Clint. "We're doing good, Laura!" Becca said loud enough for the woman on the line to hear, but no one outside of the office to question.
"See, just like I said."
He returned to the phone call, while Becca began sorting the papers on her desk. It was a mess of things that she hadn't looked at since the night before everything had happen. Oh how she in some way wished it would return back to before that. Before their entire world got turned upside down.
"I'll see you soon. I love you." Clint finished the call and let the phone drop to his desk. Arms coming to rest on the top of it, crossed against his chest. He looked over at his partner, seeing her fumbling through the items. "You're a mess."
"You're one to talk." She continued to organize, not looking at him. "You left crap everywhere before you left for New Mexico, ya know? I cleaned up your shit...you're welcome."
"Oh, is that why I couldn't find anything." He joked back, but could see the tension she was holding in her shoulders. "You get some rest?"
She looked up at him with a nod, before setting some papers in the bin that needed to be shredded. "I guess I first slept for like 24 hours and last night I was constantly waking up with every little noise. Things are just randomly falling off the tower. Like it's settling."
Clint shook his head, eyebrows nearly in his hairline. "I can't believe you're actually staying at the place of the battle. That's some kind of insane, even for you Bec."
"If it means I get to be near my father than I'll deal with it." She shrugged, knowing it was stockholm like. But being away from her father right now just didn't feel right for her. And the thought of being alone in her apartment after it all was almost suffocating. She needed to be with her family, which made her think of his conversation. "You going home soon?"
"Yeah." He cleared his throat, his conversation with his wife on his mind and also the one he had with Fury the day before. "I'll be officially going on leave for awhile."
Becca, being the emotional reader of the group, heard the hiccup in his voice immediately. "This is more than just few months, isn't it?" He stayed silent at her question, eyes not looking up from the metal he was resting on. "Clint? What happen?"
"You know very well what happen, Bec." His voice was low. "Up close and personal."
In the years that she has known Clint, worked with him, been trained by him, she had never seen this look on his face. It was more than exhaustion, something deeper than that. Becca pulled herself from her own desk to move to his, sitting on the top next to his shoulder. Even though they were alone in the office, this seemed like something that needed close quarters. "Talk to me." Her voice a sweet whisper to lay over his overworked brain.
"I had a talk with Fury yesterday." He leaned back in the chair now but still didn't look at her. "It might've been the longest conversation I've ever had with the man. Coulson had been our C.O. for so long it was odd to be in a different chair for debriefing." The mention of their friend was a fog in the room.
"What did he have to say?"
"You want the plain and simple?"
"Always."
"I've got a target on my back from the World Council." Clint looked up at her this time, dead in the eye. "They're looking into what I did with Loki and who was in the target range-"
"-But you had no control! You were literally under mind control." Becca's anger flaring back through her body. "That is unbelievable!"
"Nothing's happening yet-"
"Yet. What about the next time you go on a mission and something out of your control happens? What then? They get to do whatever they please!"
"Bec," he rested a hand on her knee, "they are scared I could turn again, so Fury wants me out of the limelight of the events until they can move onto the next problem. It's just a precaution."
"Or next time the nuclear warhead could hit their intended target." Her once outburst turned back into a under her breath comment. But he heard it loud and clear.
Clint could still hear her desperate screams that ran through the comms when Tony sent the nuc through the portal. It was a type of terror that he had never heard in her voice before. And he understood both sides of that situation. He would have done the same thing Tony did to save his kids, but he also knew he wouldn't want them to see him do it. Becca had thought she lost her father in those few moments that seemed to last longer than they should have.
Even if the Avengers were thrown together only a few days prior, she was the one person that had the most emotional value riding in the group. Of course with Tony, but also with himself and Natasha who weren't just her teammates but so much more. Then there was Steve. He had absolutely no idea what that relationship was since he hadn't been around for it the past few months, but it was very easy to see that comradery and trust that had settled between the two. Thor and her had quickly linked together since it looked like they shared the same type of internal worth. While Bruce had been engaged by her for what she did best, her overall niceness. The fact that she didn't overact with him and who he was had him easily rounding in her corner.
Becca was the soul of the Avengers.
"Where's your head at?"
She contemplated the question for a second before just letting it out. "That I'm having a hard time right now trusting the people in charge." The words had been on the tip of her tongue for a while now, but this was the first time in the open. "I know I've had doubts in the past with my family and the secrets that were being kept, but now this is something very different."
"You think you want to leave?" Leave it to Clint to ask the hard question.
"No." It was true, but there was more than just that. "But things are going to have to change. Even if it's just with me. After everything that has happened and the unknown of where SHIELD was going before with the tesseract in play, I'm going to be pushing to get my higher clearance. And to find out where this organization is going."
"Good for you, kid."
"Is that crazy?"
Clint shook his head, a small grin actually on his face for the first time. "Not at all. Since the beginning I knew getting you involved and training, you would want more. And I was hoping we would have this discussion one day." He knew she had a different work ethic and mindset than many that have came into this organization before and after her. It was almost the main reason he trained her instead of sending her through the academy.
Becca was touched by his words. He has had her back since day one and she knew very well from experience not to question it. But having her back and telling her to go, almost infiltrate the system was new. It wasn't that she wanted to spy inside of SHIELD, she wanted to understand why her grandfather wanted her there and as what role.
"So," she cleared her throat and walked back to her own desk, trying to get back to the original topic, "when are you heading home?"
"Tomorrow." He gained his own strength again to keep up. "Thor is planning on taking Loki back to Asgard and...and Coulson's service is tonight."
Her movements stopped again, rigged at best. "Tonight?"
"I guess they already took care of the grave and what not. Fury thought it would be best if we all went tonight so we wouldn't be noticed."
She nodded, not really knowing what else to say. It had happen in front of her, but she had pushed the event down and away with the war that had happen. Now it was time to mourn and let their friend and mentor rest in peace.
It was almost appropriate that the group surrounded the grave at sunset. It was a beautiful grave sight, sitting in between two low hanging trees that made it look like something you would only see in a movie setting. And now with the sun spilling in between the trees, everything had a orange and red glow in the bright green area. Phil Coulson would have loved this spot.
No one said anything. They all just seemed to meet up around the same time and took their place in a semi-circle around the newly dug dirt. Becca, Clint, and Natasha were the first ones there and not long after Tony and Pepper, then followed Steve, Thor, and Bruce all together. Coulson didn't want a grand funeral, he never wanted anything overly publicized, the same way he lived his life. So for them, this was the perfect way to celebrate his life.
The stone was simple, military like. It read 'Phillip Coulson' with July 8, 1964 - May 4, 2012 written underneath it. Flowers had already been placed, beautiful and bright. The group stood there for who knew how long, each silently giving their respect.
Not wanting to break the silence, Natasha was the first one to step forward. It was few and far between to see the russian emotional or letting her emotions interfere with her day to to day life. She held her own flower. A single yellow rose. It was out of place against her entire black outfit. She knelt down, allowing her fingers to trace the engravings. If you weren't looking close enough you would miss the single tear that ran down her cheek.
But Clint did. He took that as his time to kneel next to her, his hand resting against the stone. His head sunk low, giving his due for the man who had his back from the beginning. It had all started with Coulson and Clint, than Natasha was brought in, and finally Becca. They had been Delta for so long, their own team. Now they were all going in their own directions. With an arm around Natasha's shoulders, Clint pulled the both of them up and back over to where all the cars were parked.
Bruce was next. He was awkward at best, but that seemed to be his overall persona. He stood in front with his hands clasped, his head down, eyes closed. Paying his respect. He had been surprisingly around Natasha the past few days more than he ever assumed from their first meeting. Like a revolving door, as he walked away Thor was next. This was obviously different than what he was use to when dealing with a death, he quickly understood that meaning. And he desperately wanted to give the respect and honor.
"You will be forever honored, Son of Coul." Thor's words the first one's spoken in the air. He squeezed Becca's shoulder before also going to the opposite group that was starting to form.
Becca barely felt his hand though. Her gaze hadn't left the plot since her arrival, and at seeing it there right in front of her, she had gone numb. Steve had been watching her though. At first just relieved to see her in one piece since the end of the battle. She had been on his mind constantly, wanting that normal comfort he found when he was with her, but didn't want to push their current up in the air situation. He instead seemed to find an almost friendship or same energy with Thor. And while his mind wanted to shut down and constantly battling with nightmares and more, the Asgardian did quite well at keeping his mind off of the bad.
Steve went next, paying his respects at standing above the stone. What no one did know was the trading cards that sat in his pocket that his fingers had been tracing. He wished he would have gotten to know the man so much more from all the stories Becca had told of him. Between that and the short time he was able to spend with him, it was easy to see that he was a good man that deserved more time than was given to him. Steve turned around, hoping to get Becca's eye, but they were still glazed over.
Tony and Pepper were next. Pepper knelt down, placing her own flowers next to the rest. A bouquet of daffodils resting against the brown and green earth. Tony helped her back up before wrapping his arm around her waist, the two leaning against each other. Pepper was crying and she wasn't afraid to show it. Coulson basically saved her so many years ago against Obadiah and was just there ever since. Same with Tony, he might of acted like Phil got on his nerves for always showing up when the problems started, but he deeply valued how the man seemed to always be on his side in the long run.
With one last goodbye, the couple gave way to the plot but didn't go as far as the rest had. They stayed only a few steps behind, now there main concern on the young girl who was left standing. What she didn't know was that everyone was keeping a careful eye on her.
Taking a few limp steps forward, Becca slowly lowered her body down to kneel in front of the headstone. She had the last of the flowers. A bouquet of daisies and forget-me-nots that she had been holding so tightly the stems had imprinted against her hand. The brunette delicately placed them in the aray of the rest. Then she simply sat there and stared. The smell of the dirt easily coming through her nose, while the sun shined in her eyes, and the wind slowly started to pick up bringing the warm spring day to a cold close.
And as all her senses ran together her eyes teared and her throat burned. She was trying so hard, so damn hard, to think of anything besides his final breath. There were so many memories to choose from but all she could feel was the grip he held on her hand right before. She knew she shouldn't but she couldn't stop it. It was only a few days ago. How could that haunting memory erase from her brain so quickly.
Each time she tried to take a deep breath, it got stuck in her throat and the tears were falling without her even trying. She didn't remember much for her grandparents funeral. She was so young and so naive. That had been the last time she had truly lost someone close to her. Sure there had been casualties in SHIELD, that was the job. But you don't think it's going to happen to anyone around you until your in the middle of it. She had thought she lost her father three times now in three different ways, but he always recovers and she is beyond thankful for that. But what if the next time he doesn't? Or what if the next time it was someone else on the line? Again, it was in the description of the job and that was that.
But now she mourned for Phil Coulson. The man that she didn't save.
"I'm so sorry." Her words were a mumbled mess. Becca's fingers now gripping deep into the soil, almost wishing it was a joke and he would walk around the tree. She would be mad, but she would be thankful. Yet that didn't happen and all she was left with was her own misery that she needed to piece back together. "I should have done better."
Someone had fallen down next to her as the crying had shaken her body. She could smell the familiar cologne of her father, but did nothing more than that. He was the one to wrap his arm around her body, pulling her tightly against him, trying to soothe his baby girl. Tony left gentle kisses against her temple in hopes to hush her tears.
"It's not your fault." He whispered for the father and daughter to only hear. "He adored you. Do you know that?" She only shrugged, wiping away at her nose, trying to pull herself together. "He did. He was very proud of you and loved you very much. That's what you should remember and hold on to."
Becca nodded this time, she knew that. But it was easier said than done. She gave herself a few more seconds before rubbing her face clean the best she could of tears. She wasn't the only one who lost him, and she felt selfish for taking their time away from him. Tony pulled the both of them back into a standing position before joining the group, Pepper a step behind.
"I will be returning to Asgard with Loki tomorrow." Thor explained to the group, deciding to break the awkward silence around them.
"We have a place designated for tomorrow." Natasha explained, arms back to being crossed over her chest. "It will be secured."
"I appreciate that."
"And the cube?" Bruce asked, a question that was on everyone's mind.
"I will be taking the Tesseract back with me, in exchange I have agreed to allow the scepter to remain here on earth in SHIELD's custody.
Clint snorted. "You think that to be a good idea after what has happen this time?"
Thor shook his head in a contemplation. "It was the deal I came to with Fury. Since Loki will not be here to pay for his actions, he needed to show the Council something in good faith of my actions."
"And who would be smart enough to put up a fight against a god." Tony smirked, knowing from personal experience.
"What time tomorrow?" Steve inquired, hands still deep in his pockets.
"Everything is set for 8." Natasha informed him.
The group agreed on meeting at that time the next morning before starting to split off their own way. The whole time Becca staying silent. Listening to the conversation, but not finding herself able to contribute. That was until she realized it was over and the one person she desperately wanted to talk to was starting to walk away. Before her mind caught up with what her body was doing, she was gently grabbing the brown leather jacket arm of the soldier.
Steve turned back to her with wide eyes, not expecting her to try to contact others yet. "Rebecca, you okay?"
Between the warm leather on her fingers and a worried glance from him, she was falling quickly back into herself. "I was going to ask you the same thing." Her fingers trailing down his arm until it was back at her own side. "Sorry I haven't been in contact with you-"
"-That's not something you have to apologize for."
She nodded, looking down at her shoes before glancing up. Something behind him taking her off guard. "Is that yours?"
Steve turned to see where she was pointing. There sat a Harley-Davidson motorcycle, looking brand new. "Yeah, I found out about it only a few days ago."
Becca rose an eyebrow at the words. "Where'd you get it?"
He hesitated for a second, not knowing how the next words would affect her. "Coulson had gotten it for me to use."
The words had her heart beating in her ears, and the rush of tears stinging the back of her eyes. He truly had done everything he could for Steve. With putting a uniform together, to the compass, and now this. Who knew what else he had worked on.
"He's still finding ways to surprise me." She coughed out, keeping the waterworks at bay for the moment. "You going back to your apartment?"
"Was planning on it." He took his keys out, the ringing find its way around his finger.
That's when she saw the spaceship she had given him back when they went to the NASA exhibit. He still had it and specifically put it on his keys. "Do want to come back to the tower?"
He was surprised by the question. "Really?"
"Yeah, I thought we could talk, or not talk, like always. We were going to do dinner and if you wanted to stay over, there's extra rooms." She had now started rambling, overly anxious. "Or you don't have to. It's completely up to you..."
He smirked at her dropping the end of the sentence off. "I'll be there."
It was just past midnight and Becca was going on her third shower of the day. This one was different though, because she hadn't been able to stop the crying since she stepped under the stream of water. In the bedroom, in the bathroom, in the shower stall she could sob out loud. A painful, chest squeezing cry that she was needing for days now.
After the gathering, Steve had ran back to his apartment to grab some things before making his way to the tower. She had waited in the garage downstairs for him to easily park his bike and then showed him what was left of the building, which there still was many good parts between the office spaces and the science departments. She took her time, stalling to get up to the apartment where her family was waiting.
She was trying to find a gage of how Steve and Tony were going communicate. This setting was out of the heavy commotion where they had met, so she was hoping the conversation would be more civil. And she was pleasantly surprised. The evening was enjoyable around the dinner table, Pepper and Rhodey always the talkers of the bunch. Especially now that they had a new face in the mix.
She was finally in a better headspace until she woke up in a thick coat of sweat, nightmares plaguing her sleep. Which led her to another shower. Where she was now letting everything she had been holding in out, a mess on the tile floor. The water was a steady hot beat on her back, reminding her that she was still alive and still breathing. At this point she was crying just because it felt better than anything else at the moment.
It had to have been close to an hour before the water officially was going cold and the sobs had turned to just water-filled eyes again. But when she turned that water off the silence filled the small room again. Filled her overactive brain. She toweled off, carefully fixing up her leg plus the other cuts and bruises that littered her body. More reminders of what had happen. The wounds would heal eventually and she hoped as they started to fade so would her mental wounds.
But after pulling on a pair of soft shorts and an oversized shirt, she desperately wanted to rip the clothes back off and sink back into the shower. She didn't though. She went about her routine. Brushing her hair and teeth, moisturizing her skin, and rubbing chapstick on her busted lips. All the while not able to look at herself in the mirror.
If she couldn't even look at herself in the mirror, maybe she wasn't as strong as she thought she was.
She took one last deep breath of the humid air that surrounded her before opening the bathroom door, allowing the cold from the air condition to swirl in with her. Becca barely made it through the doorway before she saw the figure sitting on her bed. If she hadn't recognized the blonde hair and broad shoulders, she had no doubt she would have screamed right there. But he looked up at her and she was more embarrassed if anything.
"Hey." Her voice was hoarse from the guttural cry she just had.
"Hey." Steve stood up from the bed, hands wiping against his plaid pants. "Sorry, I didn't mean to barge in here."
"It's okay." She limped to the corner where she had a hoodie waiting for her, trying to avoid his worried eyes. "Everything okay?"
"I was going to ask you the same question." His words mirroring hers from their earlier conversation.
"I'm fine. Sorry if the shower woke you." Becca pulled her hair out of the collar. She was very thankful that the only light in the room was what was peaking between the blinds form the window.
"That's not what woke me." His words were soft but proding. He didn't know where to stop the questioning, but he also knew she would do the same for him. She had since day one. But he heard the cries, and at first he thought she was in pain and came rushing in. But that quickly changed the more he listened. He didn't want to barge in on her in the bathroom, but he didn't want to leave her alone. So he had sat and waited, his heart tearing apart at listening her through the door. "Becca...you're not fine."
She sniffed with a laugh, trying to play it off. "That's very forward of you, Rogers. Kinda out of character."
"So is you not smiling." Steve took a few steps forward to start to get closer to her.
Her mouth opened a few time to reply, but nothing came out. Because nothing she could say right now would fix the situation. The lump in her throat had returned, getting harder to swallow down her tears. "I don't know how to move forward."
He nodded, understanding completely what she was saying. "That's okay. It'll take some time."
"And the guilt," Becca finally let herself look him in the eye as he was only a few steps away at this point, "how long does that take?"
Steve's jaw clenched, if he understood where she was going with that question, the answer was simple at the overplayed scene that ran in his head of the last moments of his best friend. "I still don't know."
She nodded, looking away as tears fell again. There was no stopping them from coming at this point. But as the pain exploded in her chest, warmth surrounded her body. Steve was surrounding her, pulling her close to his chest with his arms wrapped so tight around her she didn't have to worry about keeping herself standing.
Becca gathered the strength to push her arms around his waist, a new territory neither of them had gone past before. But he was warm and strong and familiar. And past all that she knew he was trying in a way he hadn't done before. With anyone. Her fingers found the soft shirt on his back and held on for dear life.
Steve was working on pure emotion at this point, the overthinking of the situation wasn't catching up to his brain just yet. He didn't think hugging her was the start of breaking down the walls not just around her, but around himself. Possibly allowing himself to let her in more than he had with anyone before. Because he held her close, arms cradling her back as his head rested against her own. Her floral and mint shampoo swarming his senses and letting him release the tension in his shoulders. But as he felt her dig deeper into his chest, her face resting against his collarbone, an ache inside was screaming out for more. He could say the hug was to comfort her, but he knew it was for himself as well.
The tears were slowing down, just being sniffles again, but neither let go too quickly. The darkened room gave them the free will to live this moment in secret and let it play out for as long as they wanted. But Becca didn't want to push Steve anymore than he already done to himself.
"Sorry." She pulled away softly, seeing the tear stains she made on his shirt. "I'm a mess." She tried to wipe them away.
"It's okay." Steve laid his hand over her own, halting her movements.
Becca only nodded, watching the way her hand disappeared under his. The city lights from the window playing against the white of his shirt and all she wanted to do was stay in this moment. "Are you tired?"
"No."
"Come on."
Their hands stayed connected as she pulled them from her room to the living room that was set up. There was a long couch set up against the windows, that she knew Tony did just for her. She sat them down, the quiet surrounding them. But with the floor to ceiling windows, she could breath just a bit easier at staring out at the skyline.
"This may sound really weird, but I love looking out windows." She whispered, digging her body deep into the hoodie. "I could go all day by just sitting behind a pane of glass and just watching the world go by."
Steve had taken notice of this quickly when spending time with her. It was all too often she got engrossed with the outside world. And he did as well with her. "You know I never in a million years would have guessed I would be here, in this spot." His eyesight looking down at the destruction of the city. But making out the cafe he had sat at many months ago where Becca had found him sketching the very tower.
"I'm sorry." Becca's voice was thick, the tears still very evident. "I don't know if I've said that yet."
Steve glanced over at her from the city landscape in front of them. She was already watching him, almost worried that if she didn't have an eye on him he would disappear from her sight. "Sorry that you never told me your last name was Stark and that you were hiding it from me?"
Her shoulders dropped at his words. His face was deadpanned and she couldn't read him, which worried her. She thought they were a step past this, but clearly that was just in the heat of the battle. "I'm sorry, Steve." Her words became rushed, trying to explain. "I just thought that if you knew you would think I was only trying to help because of it and-"
"-Becca." His body turned fully toward hers now, knees brushing against one another as he leaned down to be right next to her. "You shouldn't have to be sorry for being who you are or not wanting people to know immediately." Steve watched Becca's eyes drop from him now, tears returning easily. He understand she was living on a thread right now and he was trying to hold it tight for her, just like she had done for him. "I shouldn't have reacted the way I did."
"It was deserved. I never wanted to hurt you and I broke that trust we formed."
And with that, his whole perception of Becca became ultimately clear. She was the most selfless person Steve had ever met, but she was a fighter. She was sweet and humble, but wasn't afraid to get her hands dirty. And knowing the pieces of her he had picked up on over the past few months and now knowing who her family was, he wanted to know everything. Every little detail. Every little scar. Every life changing moment she has had.
Steve Rogers was infatuated with Rebecca Stark.
"You can't get rid of me that easily."
She looked up at him, seeing the softness in his eyes and the small smile that played on his lips. She couldn't help but actually return it, feeling safety in this moment for the first time in a long time.
What the two of them didn't know was they had a person in the shadows watching them. Tony hadn't been able to sleep, so he decided to do what he had been doing each night now since the battle; work on something. He didn't expect to find the two of them up that late, talking in close quarters.
"Tony?" Pepper whispered in the dark, coming up behind him, sleep still filling her eyes. "Is everything okay?"
He didn't reply automatically, just stayed silent watching as they continued talking, but more importantly, a laugh falling from his daughter's mouth for the first time in a long time. And he was at a fork in which way to take this road. "Do you think she likes him?"
Pepper stood next to him now so they could whisper without disturbing Becca and Steve. "I think they have a very close bond." She answered honestly. Pepper had been watching the two of them since Steve entered the apartment. His eyes were constantly following Becca, as if he was scared she was going to vanish away from him while Becca was trying her hardest to keep him at ease. It was easy to see they had a relationship of some type, even if that was only as a companion. But they moved as if they knew each other so well, and those past few months had clearly tuned them into the same frequency. "Are you worried?"
Was he worried? Tony didn't know if that was the right way to put it. "I guess just being the protective dad."
Like they agreed, the Avengers had met in Central Park at 8am sharp. SHIELD had set up agents for security so that no one would interfere with the happenings. But as Thor walked forward with Loki in tow, Becca automatically gripped the knife on her belt. Instinct still in play. Seemingly in a better headspace, Erik Selvig had joined them as well and was currently helping Bruce place the tesseract in the contraption for Thor to take it back to Asgard. Her eyes watched carefully of what was happening, but also taking note to the way Steve stared the cube down. Officially wanting the problem out of his life for good.
"You know, I'm going to miss being here on Midgard again." Thor came to stand next to Becca, giving the two some time to say goodbye.
"I'm going to miss you calling Earth something so enchanting." She smiled up at him, taking in his full outfit. "I'll also miss you as well and Mjolnir."
The god was taken back by her correct pronunciation of his hammer. "I think you may be the first person here to get that correct."
"I told you I did my homework." She pointed out.
"It has truly been an honor to fight with you, Lady Bex."
"Same to you, but my friends call me Becca. I expect you to do the same."
He smiled, almost bowing to her at the statement. "Until next time, Becca."
She crossed her arms, one thing unsure of. "How will I know when that'll be. I have no way to contact you. Should I shout into the sky."
Thor genuinely laughed at that one. "Trust me, I'll know."
Becca truly was in awestruck of him still to this day. The group found themselves in a circle around Thor and Loki, Selvig handing the vessel off to Thor with a final goodbye. With one last nod to them all, the brothers both took an end of the device. With a simple turn, blue light entrapped them and they were sent off back to Asgard. It went almost too quick to actually believe it was real.
"And just like that we're all a bunch of bumbling monkeys again." Tony spoke up, looking up to the sky. The group back to going about their business.
Becca followed Clint and Natasha over to the SHIELD car the two had drove in on, leaning against the trunk. "So, what now?"
"We're going to head out." Clint explained, raising his sunglasses on top of his head.
"We're?" She questioned, looking over at the redhead.
"Do you know what rest and relaxation is?" Natasha leaned on the trunk as well. "Because I'm supposed to go find out for at least, and I quote, a month."
Clint and Becca both pursed their lips, looking at each other in thought before she spoke up first. "I give it a week."
"A week?" Clint said flabbergasted. "I'm thinking three days max before she goes off on an adventure."
"Where are you going?" Becca asked, only getting a reply of her pointing at Clint. "Oh, farm life. Make her cut the grass with a push mower! Or better yet make her clean the kids clothes by hand."
Natasha narrowed her eyes at the man who was actually contemplating the ideas. "You do that and so help me God, Barton, you'll wish I would have hit your head harder."
"So violent." Clint stuck his hands deep in his jacket pockets. "No wonder Fury put you on a vacation."
"What are you up to, Bec?" The older women decided to move on from her own problems.
She shrugged, no knowing what the following months that she is on leave have to offer her. "I don't know. Maybe travel a little. Get back to dancing."
"Go on a cute 40s style date with your super soldier boyfriend." Clint batted his eyelashes at her in a teasing way.
Becca however wasn't standing for it. "Excuse me."
"Oh, come on. I'm just counting down the days until you fall in love. And when it happens all I have to say is 'told ya so'."
"You're right, Tasha. You clearly didn't hit him hard enough."
"Stop being a absurd, Clint. You know they're already in love." Natasha now in on the games.
Becca groaned, letting her head fall back. "Okay, goodbye. Go live on a farm now and never come back."
"Oh, you know we're just kidding." Natasha bumped her hip before turning to give her a hug. "Stay safe and if you need anything I'm a call away."
"Same to you." Becca gave her one last squeeze before moving away and doing the same to Clint. "Thank you."
"For what?" He mumbled into her hair.
"Everything."
He gave her one last squeeze before kissing her hair and letting her go. "If you want to come out for a few days just let me know."
"I'll probably take you up on that."
"Bruce! Your bag!" Natasha called over to where the three men were standing next to Tony's car.
As said man came over to grab his stuff, Becca watched from afar at her father and Steve's interaction. It seemed to be going well, even past civil at this point and she truly hoped it could grow past that. They were two men that meant a lot to her.
"Safe travels guys." Becca gave her two teammates one last goodbye, along with the rest of them before the duo headed out. "So, you staying at the tower for awhile?" She asked Bruce as they made their way back over.
"Yeah, until I figure out what to do next."
"Well if you need anything, feel free to ask. I've got plenty of time on my hands right now."
Bruce gave her a sincere smile, always taken back by her graciousness. "Thank you, Becca. Means a lot."
She nodded watching him finish the walk to Tony and the car from where she had stopped a few feet away from Steve. He was sitting on his bike waiting to see what to do next. "So." She meandered over to him, still slightly shy about the night before.
"So." He mimicked, having to look up at her now that she was directly in front of him.
"Bruce is going to back to the tower. Looks like my father has wrangled him in to some tech talk."
"Looks to be that way."
"Yep, and since I drove in with my dad and Bruce is leaving with my dad, I seem to be vehicleless and someone should take pity on the poor girl who still has an injured leg." Becca gave him the overly big puppy dog eyes and pouty lip.
"Huh." He looked around her, staring at the two seater. "Are you sure there's not a trunk on that thing?"
"Steve!"
He laughed, watching her get upset. "Hey Becca, you want a ride?"
"Well I thought you'd never ask." She gave him a big smile, one that he had truly missed seeing.
Steve smiled back but with an eye roll right along with it. "Alright, let's go." He pulled his leg over the seat, to allow her to get on with him.
She watched Tony and Bruce pull out of the park, using the speed in their advantage. Holding onto Steve's shoulders, Becca threw her uninjured leg over and settled on the back of the motorcycle.
"You ever been on one before?" He asked over his shoulder, feeling her try to situate herself.
"Only ever drove."
Steve reached back, carefully pulling behind her knees so that her chest was tight against his back and legs parallel with his own. Finally making sure her arms were grasped against his sides. "Don't let go."
She didn't want to. Because just like last night, she felt safe right here with him. "I won't."
He lifted the bike off the kickstand and started the engine. The rumbling coursing through each of their bodies. "You sure you're good?" He asked one last time, right over his shoulder where her head was pressed against.
She nodded, the fabric of the leather jacket against her cheek. "I trust you."
Up Next: Becca has a well needed to talk with Fury while her and Steve are finally reconnecting.
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