Sorry for the long wait, folks. It's been a busy few weeks, between school, acting stuff, and general life. I also thought, with four different stories in the burner, I might as well start a fifth! It's finals week, and I only have one final left, so I figures, since I have some free time, I'd write a bit. So here this is.
It's kinda short, but I think it gets the joke enough.
"Yoshi, I'm glad you could make it." Robin said to the… Yoshi in front of him.
"Yoshi!" Yoshi exclaimed.
"Look, I went through this bullshit with DK." Robin sighed. "I know you can talk, so drop the act."
"Yoshi!"
"It's not funny, Yoshi." Robin said. "My job is to talk to you, but you're not making it easy."
"Yoshi!"
"Dammit, Yoshi!" Robin exclaimed. "If you don't talk straight to me I'll…" He paused. "...You actually can't talk, can you?"
"Yoshi!" Yoshi exclaimed positively.
"...Well, this was bound to happen." Robin sighed. "I'm literally working with animals now. Great. I guess I'll have to carry most of the weight for this conversation. I thought you would be smarter."
"Yoshi?" Yoshi exclaimed, tilting his head at the tactician.
"Well, I mean, you raised Mario." Robin replied. "I've met Mario, and you did a...decent job, all things considered. I think you raised Mario. You sure had to deal with him a lot as a baby. Why were storks always carrying him and Luigi around? Were their parents constantly giving them away?"
"Yoshi!" Yoshi exclaimed, nodding.
"Wait, really?" Robin asked. The dinosaur nodded again. "So you just kept returning these unwanted children to parents that didn't want them?" Another nod. "That's actually kinda dark. The Mario Brothers might not have had a great childhood."
"Yoshi!" Yoshi exclaimed, waving at Robin.
"What are you...what are you doing?" Robin asked, confused. "Nevermind. Anyway, we've been getting complaints about you leaving eggs all over the place. That's a problem by itself, but there have also been complaints about them emitting a horrible stench. Now, I'm not an expert of the biology of Yoshi, but I have been inside of your eggs before. It's not a pleasant experience. However, I know for a fact that the eggs don't smell like...that."
"Yoshi?" Yoshi tilted his head.
"Well, seeing as you only have one...hole, I figured there was not polite way to ask this." Robin said. "Are you pooping in your eggs?"
Silence.
"Yoshi!" Yoshi exclaimed.
"That's not a fucking answer, Yoshi!" Robin exclaimed. "That's just your name! You're not a fucking Pokémon! You're some weird dinosaur-lizard-frog-horse-thing that's apparently responsible enough to care for a human child but not above leaving your shit all over the place!"
"Yoshi!" Yoshi exclaimed happily.
"I'm sorry." Robin said. "I might be a bit stressed. I'm used to having a bit of a banter with the other person, so this is pretty different for me."
"Yoshi!" Yoshi exclaimed.
"I used to run an army." Robin sighed. "This is what I've been reduced to. I'm asking you about poop. I never had to deal with these kind of problems. Worse thing I ever had to deal with was the idea that the woman I fell in love with was my best friend's time traveling daughter."
"Yoshi!" Yoshi exclaimed.
"Yeah, I guess the Grima thing was pretty bad, too." Robin admitted. "And the random daughter appearing out of nowhere. You know, this was actually a little therapeutic. Thanks, Yoshi."
"Yoshi!" Yoshi exclaimed with a smile, as he began to leave the office.
"Oh, and stop pooping on everything!" Robin called after him.
"No promises!" Yoshi exclaimed, leaving.
Robin leaned back in his chair with a smile. "What a nice guy."
Beat.
"...That little shit."
Up next: Kirby!