I don't really do anything fancy here.
"...Is your name really 'Fox?'" Robin asked the pilot in front of him.
"Yeah." Fox replied. "What's the matter with that?"
"It's a really stupid name, that's what's wrong." Robin replied. "Who in the hell would name their child 'Fox?' It's inane!"
"What's so unbelievable about it?" Fox asked, somewhat offended.
"Well, for starters, you're a Fox named 'Fox.'" Robin replied. "That would be like naming a human baby 'Human' or 'Baby' or 'Guy.'"
"I'm pretty sure there actually are people named 'Guy.'" Fox commented.
"Yeah? Well, they have a stupid name." Robin said. "Anyway, my second point is that this seems to only be a one time thing! Your dad's name was James! That's a real fucking name! And, for some reason, he decided to name his child 'Fox!' Was your dad stupid or something?"
"Don't talk about my father like that!" Fox exclaimed. "He's dead."
"Mine is too. High five." He extended a hand out to Fox, who simply glared at it. Robin retracted the hand. "Right. You might have actually liked your father. Odds are you didn't play a part in his death."
"You killed your father?" Fox asked, surprised.
"He started it!" Robin objected, before settling down. "Anyway, dumb name aside, I wanted to ask you about your stupid moves."
"Stupid moveset?" Fox asked. "People love my moves! They're, like, everyone's favorite moves!"
"They're also some of the least canon moves in the game." Robin replied.
"Well, obviously I couldn't fight in an Arwing." Fox countered. "My moves are based on my moves in the Arwing. I think it's pretty cool."
"That would be pretty cool, if it wasn't also bullshit." Robin said. "The gun I get. Your plain thing fires a gun, so you also have a gun. Clever. Creative. Inspired. It's all the other shit I don't get."
"What do you mean?" Fox asked.
"...Remind me when, in your universe, you lit yourself and fire and launched yourself at your enemies, dashed forward in a speedy flash of deadly light, and used that reflector thing."
"I told you, it was all based off of my Arwing skills!" Fox exclaimed.
"But you never did any of this shit in the Arwing!" Robin exclaimed. "Your moves are just all sort of half assed and weird."
"What about Falcon?" Fox asked. "Where do any of his moves come from?"
"A memorable scene from a forgotten anime." Robin replied. "However, I'll get to that asshole later. This meeting is all about you and you alone. Now, I've written up a few suggestions for a new moveset for you. It's based off the two canonical games we have of you outside your arwing." Robin said, taking out two pieces of paper and handing them to Fox.
Fox looked over the two pages. "...You wrote 'Star Fox Adventures' on this page and you appear to have just spat on it."
"Yeah, my brain kinda shut down trying to think of that game." Robin said. "For one thing, if we ever had to put what's her face in these games, we'd have to use that game as a resource...for another thing, it honestly wasn't your proudest game."
"That was the dinosaur planet, right?" Fox asked.
"Yeah, duh." Robin replied. "What, you don't remember it?"
"No." Fox replied. "I just don't refer to it as 'Star Fox Adventures.' I have a lot of adventures with my team. You'll have to be more specific."
"...Point of the matter is, it may have been an OK action-adventure game, but it wasn't an ideal Star Fox game." Robin said.
"Again, I have no idea what your base of reference is." Fox said. "I thought it was a great Star Fox adventure, mainly because we, well, did it."
"Yeah, well, I'm smarter than you, so shut it." Robin exclaimed. "Anyway, in order to avoid having you use that staff thing or have Trippy running around, we're going to use the other sheet."
Fox looked at the page. "... 'Star Fox Assault?' What was that one about?" He asked.
"The one with the robot things." Robin replied.
"The Aparoids?" Fox asked. "What does the word 'assault' have to do with them?"
"Nothing." Robin replied. "Anyway, I figured you could base your moves off of all the weapons from that game."
"...I'm flattered that you put this much thought into my moves, but I'll keep what I have." Fox said, tossing the paper away.
"But it's not canon!" Robin exclaimed.
"Whose complaining?" Fox asked.
"A lot of people!" Robin replied.
"But wouldn't more people complain about me changing my moveset. It's the main thing that's kept me popular in these tournaments." Fox commented.
"...Good point." Robin admitted. "I suppose you shouldn't mess with a good thing. You're good to go."
"Great. Thanks for this...waste of time." Fox said, standing up and leaving.
"Wait!" Robin said, noticing something. "Are both of your legs prosthetic?"
"What?" Fox said, looking down. "Yeah. I got them taken off to counteract the G-force while I'm flying-"
"You had your legs chopped off so you could be a BETTER PILOT!?" Robin exclaimed.
"...Yes?" Fox said.
"...That's one of the most metal things I've ever heard." Robin said.
"Thank you?" Fox said, confused, before leaving the office.
"...Well, I suppose if they all had their feet cut off, it would explain why all those Star Fox fighters have the same moveset." Robin said to himself.
...It is pretty metal. And a little horrifying.
No real announcements or explaining stuff today. Just a fun chapter.
Up next: Pikachu!