For this chapter, I would recommend pulling up a list of the original 150 Pokemon, so you can follow along at home.

"...Why are you even here?" Robin asked the puffball sitting across from him.

"Puff?" Jigglypuff asked, confused.

"Yeah, I know I called you, but I mean in general." Robin replied. He had no idea what it was saying, but he had done so many of these things that he could simply tell by the tone. "Why, out of all the first generation Pokemon, were you the one they chose to put in this tournament?"

"Jigglypuff!" Jigglypuff exclaimed, puffing up it's cheeks.

"I can prove it too, you know!" Robin exclaimed, pulling out a list. "Let's go through all the first-gen Pokemon and see who would have been a better choice! That's right, we're pulling an Honest Trailers!"

"We had at least one version of the original three starters in Brawl, which got simplified to Charizard in this tournament. My only question is why they didn't use one of them for your spot? I mean, they're probably more iconic, and people would have loved to play as Charizard earlier."

"So you were a better choice than Caterpie through Beedrill. You could make an argument for Beedrill, but they're all just bugs. So congratulations. You beat out some bugs. I hope you feel good about yourself."

"Let's see...I would say you also beat out all the pest pokemon. I know that's not a word, but how else would you describe Pidgey, Rattata, Spearow, and all their evolutions? It'd be impractical to play as any of them, which could also be said about Ekans. Ekans and Arbok, by the way, have impressively stupid names."

"Pikachu got in, so he doesn't count. I would say that Raichu wouldn't get in since Pikachu got in, but then again, Pichu."

"Sandshrew's stupid, but here's something I didn't know: There are male and female versions of Nidoran? That seems excessive, unless they had already planned on the breeding thing, which is pretty disturbing. I mean, what kind of game would encourage strategic forced relationships between playable units to create powerful offspring?"

"Clefairy is like a pointy-er version of you, so I would say it's more combat ready. Granted, I'm not really sure what exactly it does, but you're only really known for the singing thing, so they could fill out the rest."

"Vulpix: no. Ninetales: Maybe."

"I would say Wigglytuff has you beat out right away. I mean, it's literally you, but tougher. ...You know, because the name. Get it? Eh? Eh?"

"Jiggly." Jigglypuff raised up one of its stubby hands.

"...Shut up. I'm a dad. I can make dad jokes if I want to." Robin defended himself.

"Let's see…No on the bat. No on the plant. No on the crab. No on whatever the hell that fluffball/demon thing is supposed to be. Diglett would just be impractical."

"Meowth. Meowth would have been a stellar choice for this tournament, especially if would could get the talking one from the show. That would have been great! A Pokemon I could talk to! I mean, Lucario can talk, but I already know know Lon'qu, so it's basically the same thing, without the whole thing with girls."

"Psyduck...might have worked. I mean, it's iconic and stuff, but, from what I understand, it's generally confused all the time. The monkey thing would fit better, but I think you're more recognizable."

"The lion thing could have worked, but it did take them a while to figure out the four-legged thing. They just only figured it out with four legged thing with Ivysaur and the dog, so I guess there might have been some limitations."

"Puff?" Jigglypuff asked, confused."

"Right...A lot of my arguments have been about gameplay stuff." Robin said. "Let's just say it's regulations and whatnot. Sure."

"Is Pollywag supposed to be a frog? I mean, I get that's where the evolution pattern comes from, but it doesn't explain the swirl parts. That's not what a frog looks like. Greninja is more of a frog then it is, and I think Greninja is suppose to be some sort of lizard."

"I think Kadabra and Alakazam would have been interesting choices. They could attack things with spoons, or charge up a Smash attack and hit their opponent with a bigger spoon. I guess Ness sort of filled out the psychic department, but I still think it would have been cool."

"Machamp would have been interesting, but I suppose it found a better place in that Pokken tournament. Let's not talk about the competition…"

"No to the plant that would be used for porn. No to the squid that would be used for porn. I would prefer a Goron over Golem, but that's just a personal preference."

"I don't think we would be able to have a Ponyta and Rapidash, but I want one. I don't even use a mount but I want one."

"Slowpoke...I honestly can't think of a reason not to have one, but at the same time I can't think of a reason to have him, so let's just pass on that one. Also, I can't tell if Slowbro is a stupid name or not."

"No on the Magnets. That'd be impractical to control and not exactly fair to our robotic combatants. ROB and Mega Man can't say I don't think of them."

"Farfetch'd is trying too hard."

"Doduo and Dodrio kinda freak me out. I'm not big on the multihead thing."

"Seel is literally one of the laziest ones on this list. Not only is it just a seal, but it's literally called 'Seel!' Try harder, Seel. Try harder."

"No one want's to play as Grimer. It's just a pile of shit. Ain't nobody got time for that."

"I have too dirty of a mind to let Shellder or Cloyster into the tournament."

"Jiggly?" Jigglypuff asked. "Puff!" It added.

"You'll find out when you're older." Robin replied, deflecting the question. "And this is all hypothetical, as if I actually had any say in who gets in. No, all that happens to me is that I'm forced to work random jobs for Hand."

"Anyway, I want Gengar. Is it only because Pokken has one? Maybe. It really just reminded me that I liked it, but I honestly can't explain why. It's just cool for some reason."

"Onix would be badass but impractical. It's probably too big."

A cry could be heard from a nearby window.

"Fuck off, Ridley!" Robin exclaimed, shouting over his shoulder. "You're coming off as desperate. Fill out a ballot or something." He grumbled. "Dragons, right?"

"I'm...not really sure what Drowzee and Hypno are supposed to be. I can get the psychic thing, but I think that's really all it has going for it."

"No on the crab, and Voltorb can go suck a Pokeball. Also, is it weird that, when Voltorb evolves to Electrode, it get's a mouth? how would it know what to do with one? Does it just kinda know?"

"No on the eggs, but why are one of them broken? Is it just always kinda dead, or was it born like that? These questions keep me up at night. Well, that and the uncountable amount of lives I've ended."

"Cubone's too sad to add to the tournament. No one would want to fight it. I for one just want to cuddle up with it, eat a pint of ice cream, and cry about our dead moms."

"Hitmonchan's a little too bland to have in the tournament. Oh, whoop-de-do, you punch things. They only just figured out the whole 'all you can do is punch' thing with Mac, and I don't think he would appreciate the competition."

"Lickitung…" Robin shuddered. "...No. Just no."

"Koffing and Weezing are a no go, and to be honest they need professional help."

"Rhyhorn and Rhydon lose points on creativity, like a lot of the others. I think Chansey's chest egg is a liability."

"As for Tangela, well-" Robin's eyes suddenly went pitch black. "Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Tangela R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn." He chanted in a voice the echoed onto itself. His eyes returned to normal, causing him to blink in confusion. "I blacked out there for a second. Sorry about that. Anyway, I don't see Tangela having any practical uses."

"Kangaskhan can't fight, even if it is a more badass kangaroo. It has a baby it needs to take care of, and I wouldn't put it above some Smashers to purposefully punch that baby."

"That's a seahorse. That's a fish with a horn on it. That's a starfish."

" Mister Mime has the advantage of having an incredibly uncreative name and a terrifying appearance, and only one of those can be blamed on english translations."

"Scyther would be a no-go because it has no way to pick up items. Yes, that's an important reason, don't look at me like that."

"Ah, yes. Jynx. The Pokemon that was the humanish-looking precursor to people wanting to fuck Pokemon. Let's not go down that rabbit hole."

"I'm not sure what Electabuzz and Magmar are supposed to be, but I can say that they probably wouldn't have gotten in the tournament. Same could be said with Pinsaur. I think these three are the Pokemon version of Mega Man bosses."

"Tauros is completely forgettable, so I'm not even going to go into why I'm not considering it."

"Magikarp is too small and useless, while Gyarados and Lapras are too big. It would be nice if there was some middle-ground between them, but nope. You either get a flopping fish or a giant water Hell beast."

"Ditto is like the prostitute version of Kirby."

"Eevee could actually have had a cool moves, changing between the three different original elements. That would have been cool. Eevee's on the list of better choices then you, Puff ball."

"I'm not really sure what's going on with Porygon, so let's just ignore it."

"Praise Helix...Sorry, I blacked out again."

"I have a strict rule against headcrabs. I don't want to wake up with a Kabuto on my face and have a tiny Kabutops burst out of my chest."

"Aerodactyl has the same problem as...other considerations. He might still be outside, so I'm just going to say no on this one."

"We already have Dedede and Wario, so we basically have Snorlax in the roster already."

"We already have enough near-gods in this tournament, so let's just pass on the god birds."

"Dragonite is what would happen if you fused Charizard with Barney, and I kinda like it. Let's put him on the list."

"Let's just ignore the last one. It's been acting pretty pissy lately."

"So!" Robin said, looking at his list. "On a final count, Pokemon that would have been a better choice then you would have been: Any of the starters, Wigglytuff, Meowth, Kadabra, Alakazam, Eevee and Dragonite."

"Jigglypuff!" Jigglypuff exclaimed, puffing up it's cheeks."

"I know I got distracted, but look on the brightside: you beat out all of those better choices and you're not one of the original Smashers!" Robin exclaimed.

"...Puff?" Jigglypuff asked, narrow it's eyes.

"...Mainly to prove a point. You can leave now." Robin said, dismissively waving a hand.

Jigglypuff waddled over to the door, only to purposefully knock down a filing cabinet and running off.

"...Asshole." Robin muttered. "Well, at least I won't have to do that for all the other Pokemon. That would be hellish."

Robin's words are, like they are most of the time, my own. I'm not doing this for the near thousand other Pokemon I didn't do. If you want to see how that would go down, look up the extended Poke-rap.

Did you know that Google Docs recognizes the names of all the original Pokemon?

Anyway, up next, the lovable Captain Falcon!