Chapter 58: Scandalized

Year 1911 of the Second Age, Rivendell

Galadriel came to an easy agreement with Amdír about Rivendell. She would spend up to half of every year there, and he would not mind as long as she came back if he sent for her, and stayed in Lindórinand whenever it acutely needed her help. They both hoped such a time would not come in the near future, or hopefully at all.

Elrond and his people did much hard work on the house that stood in Rivendell, and were slowly transforming it into not only safe, but also a comfortable and beautiful place to live, though easy defence of the valley was still a priority. Many of those Elrond had saved from Hollin stayed there now, as well as some who came from Lindórinand's Noldor, and they added to the reasons why Galadriel liked coming there.

She was still coming mostly alone, though. Avorneth was not quite well still and Celebrían did not like to leave her, so Elrond had to do without that elf's company. Celeborn did sometimes go with her, but mostly just when there was a council being held.

It was something Galadriel and Artanáro had agreed on, regular meetings with whoever represented Númenórë's king in the island's Middle-Earth colonies at the time. They used them to plan the defence of Eriador in detail. Lindórinand served as a kind of an advance guard in this, along with some of the smaller colonies of Númenórë by the river Isen. They all needed more fortification and troops and preparation, but gradually, Galadriel was beginning to believe that if Sauron tried again, they could push him back.

However, there was a price to be paid for this security. As the century passed, Galadriel was less and less happy with how she heard the representatives of Númenórë speak of the other Men of Middle-Earth.

"When you first came here under the orders of your old king," she could finally not control herself at one council meeting, "I saw desire to help these lands in you. Now, I wonder if your main desire is not to help yourselves."

Sakalthôr, the current administrator of the Middle-Earth colonies, scoffed. "Why do you care?" He asked. "We leave you alone, and these people here should be thankful we bestir ourselves to help them at all."

Galadriel gave him a scathing look, even as she saw pain flash in Elrond's eyes at this downfall of his brother's people he was witnessing again. "This is exactly what I meant," she said. "Under King Minastir, a man like you would have never achieved such a high position."

"Under King Minastir, there would have never been as many colonies to keep your precious Eriador safe," Sakalthôr retorted and, though unhappy, Galadriel had to admit he was right. "This land owes everything to us," he continued, "and we will take our due."

Galadriel could only bemoan the departure of so many elves West in the last centuries. As it was, there truly were not enough of them to help the Men of south Eriador without the Númenorëans. And however lordly Men of the West acted, they were still better than Sauron.

But the council left a bad taste in her mouth, and she sought to improve her mood. Fortunately, Lord Laurefindil was there, having arrived for the meeting. Just the person to always cheer her up.

"How long will you be staying?" She asked him.

"Indefinitely, I hope," he replied with a smile.

That surprised her. "Oh? You are relocating? Will Erestor be joining you here, then?" In spite of her personal reservations, she knew Elrond liked the scholar and would probably appreciate his advice.

"Not in the foreseeable future," Lord Laurefindil replied easily.

She blinked at him. "Forgive me if I am asking too personal a question, but...is there trouble between you and him?"

He gave her an amused look. "I cannot help feeling that you keep expecting to find your own objections to my husband in my mind."

She shook her head, smiling slightly. "Well, you are here, and he stayed in Lindon. It is not too much of a leap of thought."

Lord Laurefindil shrugged. "Artanáro needs some advisers to remain behind. Of those that served him while you still sat on the council, only Lady Amonel and Gildor remain."

"And Lalvon?"

"He came here with me, and will serve as Elrond's Chief Councillor. Erestor took on that position in Lindon."

"Erestor? Truly?" At Lord Laurefindil's look, she defended herself: "It is not my prejudice speaking, I am merely surprised. The two you mentioned are both more experienced."

"Yes, but Lady Amonel and Gildor both rejected the position."

That surprised Galadriel. "Do you know why?"

"Gildor is uncomfortable with too much responsibility, as I am certain you know. Lady Amonel...I am less certain, but if I understand the situation correctly, she feels she is there mostly as a representative of Lord Ciryatan, and as such, should not hold the highest rank in council." He paused, and gave her a smile that somehow managed to be both cheeky and respectful. "I am sure Erestor will manage perfectly well. Perhaps even get the council running more smoothly than the mildness of Lord Elrond did."

Galadriel gave him a returning smile. "And will Artanáro not miss your advice there?"

Lord Laurefindil shrugged again. "The King was gracious enough to understand that my loyalty is first and foremost to Lord Elrond. I have served him for long years, and though he did not like to see me go, I had his support. He has other good captains."

"You keep astonishing me lately, Lord Laurefindil," Galadriel admitted. "At first, it was the shock of finding out that Elrond went to war and you were not by his side..."

At that, all traces of good humour vanished from Lord Laurefindil's face. "That was...difficult for me," he admitted.

"Then why did you not go?"

"The king did not wish me to."

Galadriel winced. She was surprised Artanáro would do something like that to Lord Laurefindil, when he knew Elrond was the main reason the elf was in Middle-Earth at all. "Why?"

"Well, I am the Chief Commander. He did not wish to give the impression that the whole army was supposed to go. He apologized to me for that, but...well, as I said, it was difficult. The most difficult thing I have done since coming back to life, I believe. It was also likely the reason why the king agreed so easily that I could leave Lindon and stay by Lord Elrond's side."

"Who became the Chief Commander of Lindon after you, then?" She was curious.

"Anor."

"Truly?"

He tilted his head to the side. "Are you surprised, my lady? I recommended him myself."

"Perhaps a little – he is young, is he not?"

Lord Laurefindil laughed. "Young compared to us, yes – but he is almost two millennia old."

"So he is," Galadriel realized. "It is strange...we truly are one of the eldest left in Middle-Earth, are we not? In fact, you might actually be the eldest of the Noldor, since none are left of the generation of our fathers."

"Hm, yes, but I spent some time in the Halls of Mandos – I am not certain how exactly to count that."

"It was barely a couple of decades, Lord Laurefindil. That will not save you."

"But it was extremely rejuvenating!"

They both laughed together, and Galadriel looked into distance then in slight melancholy. "Do you realize," she said then, "that of all the people present in Middle-Earth now, I have known you the longest?"

He grew serious as well. "I do realize," he replied, "for the same is true for me."

"I certainly could not have foreseen, when the Sun first rose, that the two us us would be the only ones left of Nolofinwë's household."

"But I was not left, my lady," he reminded her gently.

"True." She gave him a long look. "Tell me if you can, Lord Laurefindil, what made you return? You, of all others? You were not the only one with a duty."

"Few have been allowed to leave the Halls of Mandos at the time of the war, and of those many had their loved ones in Aman-"

"So did you. Your mother stayed with her lady, I remember that, and your father died in the Ice. Surely he has been released from the Halls?"

"He has. If he had not been, I could not have returned – I could not have left my mother there alone. As it was, they were together and I was unattached, as you know. We discussed it with Ehtelion in detail. One of us, we decided, would have to go, while the other would have to stay. He felt more reluctant than I did, so I offered."

Galadriel shook her head. "I have always maintained," she said, "that you are one of the most honourable and devoted elves ever to walk the world, but your commitment to duty astonishes me all the same. Most, I believe, would say that dying for it once was enough."

Lord Laurefindil smiled. "That is what Lady Itarillë tried to tell me when I suggested the possibility of staying in Middle-Earth, yes. But as I see it, that would only hold true if I detested my duty and wished to be released from it."

"And have you never done so?"

He looked away.

"Lord Laurefindil," she chided gently. "You do not have to answer me, but do not believe I would judge you for that, in your thousands of years of service."

He sighed. "I did not wish to leave Aman, that first time," he said at length. "Neither did my father. But our oath was to Lord Turukáno, and we felt bound by it, even when your uncle said that all who wished could return with your father. We still felt it was wrong, though, and parting with mother was painful."

Galadriel closed her eyes for a moment. "I see now," she said, "why you were returned from the Halls so soon."

Lord Laurefindil shrugged. "Your brother wished to go, if I understand the situation correctly, and yet he was the first to be returned."

"Ingoldo's reasons were...complicated, and you are right that they were not completely selfless, but then, he made up for that by his selflessness once in Middle-Earth." She smiled. "You know, I believe that he was given that blessing chiefly for his love for the Second born. He was one of the few elves who truly treated them as equals."

"Surely you would have the same distinction, then."

"I loved Elros, and so I loved his descendants," Galadriel replied. "I did not, however, have the same kind of unconditional, equal love for the race of Men my brother did."

There was a short silence, in which Galadriel thought of her temptation to control them with her mind. It seemed so long ago. "I find it rather ironic," she spoke again, "that you did not wish to leave Aman all those years ago, but you were the only one to come back now."

"We were not forbidden this time," he replied simply.

"Duty truly does come first for you, does it not?"

"Yes."

There was nothing more to be said on this topic, and Galadriel wondered for a while about Lord Laurefindil's unique character, and about what was under that perfectly loyal surface. He had to be lonely, especially now he would be without Erestor. But then, so many of them were.

"Erestor took on Elrond's formal position," she said aloud, "but I do not suppose he quite has the informal one with Artanáro?"

"No. They are friends, of course, but...beside you and his direct family, I do not think anyone can ever be as close to the king as Lord Elrond. Their bond is strong, and it grew perhaps even stronger in your absence."

Galadriel only nodded to that. It was impossible for Artanáro to have the same relationship to the scholar as he had to Elrond, who was like his younger brother. "That is natural enough." She sighed. "I find it...hard to bear that Artanáro will be left without his closest friends in these difficult times, and yet I do see why Rivendell needs to be kept as a fortress. I feel rather guilty about leaving Artanáro, though. I told Elrond when I was leaving for Hollin that one of us would always have to stay with him… There are moments when I truly feel I should return to Lindon."

"And what holds you back, my lady?"

"Amdír accepted us when our way to Lindon was cut off, and we swore our loyalty to him in turn. He would likely not forbid me to go, since he does not truly see himself as my king, the way he does with the rest of the kingdom," even though Galadriel had some doubts of that as well, with the shaky level of control he had hinted at, "but I will not abandon him. He no longer tolerates me grudgingly. While I will never have such a relationship with him as I have with Artanáro, he relies on my advice. I would be repaying him poorly if I left now, after what he has done for me and my people. And there are other reasons. I will not leave what remains of my people there, and then I have...other ties." She thought of the Mirror, glistening on a clear night. She did not wish to explain that at the moment. "Besides, I know Celeborn is happy in Lindórinand with his kin, and we have spent over seven hundred years in Lindon with my kin already."

"And yet you feel guilty?" Lord Laurefindil sounded surprised.

"Yes. Artanáro is..." Artanáro was Artanáro, and she found it hard to put it to words that hardly anything would ever take precedence in her heart, even though her mind understood there were other priorities. "I see my duty to him almost as before my duty to all others."

Ho inclined his head in acknowledgement of his understanding. "I am certain Lord Elrond benefits greatly from your advice, too," he offered.

"Certainly I feel my obligation to Elrond strongly as well, and had you not been here, I would never consider leaving him. But you are, and Artanáro has been left alone."

Lord Laurefindil raised his eyebrows. "Those are strong words, my lady. The King has his wife and his daughter's family with him, as well as Lord Ciryatan. And he has been king for almost two millennia now."

"Lord Ciryatan is in the Havens...but you are right." She smiled at him. "Elrond does need my help more. It is only that I have promised to Artanáro that I would never abandon him, and now, I sometimes feel like I did." And her uncle's words sounded in her head again: do not take too much responsibility upon yourself, beloved. And so she exhaled, and attempted to let go.

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„May I speak with you, Aunt?" Avorneth asked one day not very long after Galadriel returned from Rivendell, standing at the door to her house.

„By all means. Do come in."

Avorneth entered and seated herself in one of the comfortable chairs with the view of a beautiful cluster of flowers just beyond the window. Galadriel settled herself next to her.

"What do you need?" She asked.

Avorneth hesitated. „I do not know if Celebrían told you, but Ealc and I wish to marry," she said at length, without preamble.

„Yes, I have assumed so, even before my daughter confirmed it." Galadriel smiled. „Congratulations."

"Thank you." There was a moment of quiet happiness on Avorneth's face, but then she grew serious. "I would like to simply enjoy the cheer of that, in spite of all the tragedies of the recent past, but there is one thing that troubles me. Ealc insists that if we marry, we will have to live outside the capital."

Galadriel frowned. "Why? Surely...I mean, you both live here." Ealc was one of the relatively few Silvan who did, at least part of the time. Yes, the capital was very Sindarin, but if she had not minded until now, why should she suddenly start? "Why should you move just because you marry?"

"Ealc claims it is because of the Sindar."

Galadriel shook her head. "I do not understand."

Avorneth looked away. "Because of their views on the Select."

Galadriel scoffed. "So she believes you should move out of the city you both live in to avoid provoking some old Sindar burdened by prejudice? I do not think so." She was very surprised Ealc did, in fact. It did not seem like her style, from the little she knew of her. The elf certainly did not seem to suffer from over-abundance of respect for her elders.

It was Avorneth who shook her head this time, very decisively. "Ealc told me that it is more than that. She says that the...agreement with the ruling Sindar is that everyone who chooses to live in the capital will do so according to the Sindarin customs. That includes no Select living there, at least not openly. And she is unwilling to lie or pretend."

Galadriel's mind seemed to come to a complete stop for a moment.

When it began to work again, her first thought was: no, this could not be happening again. She could not be again living in a realm that cruelly punished some of its own people out of prejudice, she could not be unwittingly part of that again, she could not. And so: "No," she said aloud, rising. "This will not happen to you. You will not have to make this choice. I will not allow it."

Avorneth opened her mouth, then seemed to change her mind and closed it, staying silent for a moment. At length, she said: "Aunt, I did not come to you to ask you to change the laws of this land. We are guests here still. If Ealc says it is like this, it is like this. She seems surprisingly at peace with it, so there must be some good reason for that. I simply wanted to ask if you knew how exactly this worked..."

"I will speak to Amdír. I will not tolerate this, not as long as I am on the council. He tricked me by not telling me, not telling any of us, and I will not let it lie."

And she rose and headed to the king's house before Avorneth could say anything else. Yes, her relationship with Ealc was her private business, but this was more than that. This was bigger than that.

"Amdír," she said sharply as soon as she entered and saw that the king was alone only with his son, "have you neglected to tell me something about how the Select live in your realm?"

He closed his eyes and appeared to be in pain. "Yes," he said, "I have."

"Why?" Her word was as sharp as a whip. Amroth quietly excused himself.

"Because I know opinions and customs of the Noldor. I knew you'd never come to peace with that."

"And so you let all of us live in a lie!" She all but shouted.

He pursed his lips. "Only you and your immediate family, and Avorneth. The Noldor can do what they want, in that city of theirs. Feliel certainly does, from what I hear. It's only the capital that faces these restrictions."

"Haven't you told my husband how you had to accede to the Silvan way?" Had that been a lie, too?

"Yes, but that was in Greenwood," he replied. "Oropher, as you know, chose to accept the Silvan lifestyle, and though he resented it at first, this was part of it and there were simply too many Silvan to argue with them. Here...the Silvan were few and scattered about the forest, and none live in the capital."

"And so you used their small number to impose your prejudiced view on them!" She was shocked to hear him openly admit to something like that.

"It wasn't me who made this choice!"

"I see. You're, after all, only the king," she said mockingly.

"Yes," he repeated, "I'm only the king."

They stared at one another for a long moment, then Amdír exhaled and flung himself into a chair, gesturing to the other one. "I've already told you some of the tale of my departure from Greenwood," he said. "There were, of course, a few close friends of mine and their families who went with me because of their loyalty to me and their fear of what Oropher was becoming. But over half of who went were those who were unwilling to come to terms with the adoption of Silvan culture Oropher had opted for. Their...dislike of the Strange was part of it, but it wasn't all by far. When we came here, they demanded that the capital be made a haven of the Sindarin way of life and that no Silvan customs be permitted inside. What could I do? They had the majority, and I hadn't even been king then, remember that."

Galadriel closed her eyes, so strongly reminded of her own experiences in Hollin it was painful. She thanked the Valar that there, at least, the Sindar had not had a majority. Then, however, she thought of Lindon, where they did. "Rodnor was in the minority with the Noldorin approach too," she said, "and he still managed."

Amdír grimaced. "Rodnor was the lawful High King of the Noldor, supported in the claim by you, Glorfindel and Gildor, the oldest remaining Noldorin lords, and by Elrond and Celeborn, the highest remaining representatives of the Doriath Sindar. Círdan, too, accepted him as king. My own claim on the throne, on the other hand, is tenuous at best. I'm not descended from kings, the best I can say is that one of my cousins was a queen and another is king now. My support is much less certain than his. You knew all this already."

Yes, but she never knew what price his people paid. "And so you sacrificed the Select for support?"

"Wouldn't you have done so?" He asked her sarcastically.

And the trouble was, Galadriel could not be certain. She wished to say that no, never, she could not do such a thing...but if she got the chance, directly after arriving in Middle-Earth, to have her own realm and the price she would have had to pay would be that the Select could not live in the capital...could she truly say, with full confidence, that she would have refused that temptation? Would she have been strong enough? She found it was better not to think about.

"I wouldn't do so now, at any rate," she said, "and I refuse to accept it."

He gave her a bitterly amused look. "You'll have to, it seems to me, if you wish to stay on the council. You can, of course, resign and move to the Noldorin city, but the Sindar of this realm won't change for you. They didn't change for Oropher, and they saw him as their king."

Galadriel shook her head, staying silent for a moment. She could see that Amdír was unhappy with the situation too, but still, she could not believe he was quite as powerless as he made himself look. She suspected he simply did not care enough. "You said you trusted Ealc with your life. With the life of your son. How do you feel about casting her out, then?"

Amdír blinked. "Ealc is Strange?"

"Select. Yes. Didn't you know?"

"I don't ask such things, I'm not a Noldo," he muttered.

"I don't ask either, but she's marrying Avorneth."

Amdír closed his eyes. "I'm sorry."

Galadriel immediately bristled. "For what? Unlike you, I don't consider it a shame!"

"No, I didn't mean it like that. I mean...that they'll have to move out."

"We'll see about that."

Galadriel left the king's house at that, deep in thought. She would not let that stand, she would not, not again. There had to be some solution, some way to break these unjust rules...she was halfway into forming a plan when she remembered Avorneth's words: I did not come to you to ask you to change the laws of this land. We are guests here still. If Ealc says it is like this, it is like this. She seems surprisingly at peace with it, so there must be some good reason for that.

What if there was? Everything in Galadriel revolted at the idea but it did not, after all, primarily concern her. Ealc, and Avorneth, would be the ones directly affected. She needed to at least consult with them before she did anything. She was not the one who feel the results of whatever she did, after all.

She found Avorneth again as soon as she could. "Beloved," she said, "what do you want me to do?"

"What do you mean?"

Galadriel summarized her talk with Amdír. "This is your life, your business, not mine, and so I ask: what do you want me to do? I will go with you to the Noldorin city if you want me to, I will fight the entire council, but tell me what you want."

Avorneth seemed a little taken aback. "Let me consult with Ealc."

"Of course." She, in turn, would talk to her husband. Perhaps his Sindarin perspective could offer a way out.

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"Did you speak to Amdír about the Select?" Galadriel asked Celeborn some days later.

"Yes. It's truly a difficult situation, for him. He's not as opposed to them as many of his people, but he has to keep peace."

"My sympathy, I admit, is rather limited, but...how come Amdír is so much more open-minded than his lords? He's from Doriath too, and spent a few centuries there before it fell. I know he lived outside of Thousand Caves, but..."

Celeborn nodded. "As I found out in our talk, that's the crucial difference. I know we speculated already that the approach to this was freer there, but..."

"But?"

"I didn't know how much. We discussed this at length, and it seems that Select...romance, let's say, was regarded a little like normal couples," Galadriel frowned at his word choice, "becoming too intimate before their wedding ceremony. Wrong, certainly, but all knew it happened from time to time. It was not discussed publicly, but it was not a terrible disaster. From what Amdír told me, people tried to keep their Select relationships from becoming completely public, but the closest friends and family usually knew. It was a bit of a...like a dirty secret, it seems to me. Amdír said that people used to start rumours about others being Select if they wished to discredit them, and so on. It was..." he sounded in pain. "It was something to make fun of."

Galadriel stared at him, incredulous. "And you tell me that was better than in Thousand Caves?"

"Yes," he said heavily.

"Celeborn..."

He looked away from her, and she could sense guilt and shame in his mind as he said: "My love, in Thousand Caves, no one knew if someone was Select. No one. People avoided entering any relationships of that sort. If you revealed it, you risked being driven out of the city."

Galadriel gasped. From what Lord Ciryatan had said, or from what Celeborn had said, she never had any idea it had been that terrible. "You never told me that."

"No," he admitted. "I wished to spare you the details, but...you need to understand the differences, I think. You need to understand where the attitude the Sindar here seem to have comes from. Thousand Caves is where some of them got the idea for their capital here. People who were suspected to be Select...well, they never got any position in Thingol's court, and they faced prejudice and disgust at every step. They weren't expelled directly – there were no laws as such, concerning this – but they invariably found it easier to leave, mostly for the more distant parts of Region, though from what Amdír says it was much better in their seat in Neldoreth too."

Galadriel sat down on her bed, staring into the distance. She had lived in that realm for half a millennium. And all this time, there had been such injustice going on, under her very nose, and she never noticed, too preoccupied with her own worries and cares, with her own polished world. She wished she could at least say she had other big things to worry about, but it was not entirely true. In the last century or two, certainly, but before that? Before that, she had just lived her comfortable life, not paying attention. And she had thought she was ready to be a queen. Oh, how ashamed she was to remember that!

"I understand why you tell me this," she muttered, "but I was truly happier not knowing. Please...do not tell Avorneth, or Ealc."

"Do you believe they could not bear the knowledge?"

"No. They could both bear anything. But there is no need to burden them. Avorneth has gone though enough pain already in the last centuries, and there is no way to change the injustices of the past now. It pains me to think of them, and they do not concern me. I can't even imagine...it must be difficult enough here. Let's shelter them from that knowledge."