Vesperia Amell sat quietly watching the flames of the camp fire gracefully dance along the dry pieces of wood as the kindling snapped and crackled from the heat. Her light green eyes were focused on the flames, but held a vacancy to them as her mind was not in the camp site, or even in the current year for that matter. Her hands fiddled with the fabric of her gloves, and then fell to the fabric of her robes, seemingly examining the cloth for any signs of damage that she would need to repair. Yet her mind wasn't on repairing any damages she did find, nor did she take notice of the tear in her robes between her chest piece and the left shoulder. She was simply trying to look as she normally would.
"Something is troubling you," a voice that was aged with wisdom broke the silence. The statement wasn't a question but an invitation to confide within the elder mage if for no other reason than to lessen the weight on her own mind and conscience.
Vesperia felt her shoulders sag slightly as she took in a deep breath and released it with a heavy sigh. Something was indeed troubling her, although it wasn't something that had just recently began to plague her mind. Recent events in Redcliffe had only served to increase the weight on her shoulders.
"Are you thinking of your duties as a Grey Warden? It is a heavy burden," Wynne pressed with gentle and skillfully applied persuasion.
"Something is weighing on me, but that's not it," Vesperia finally confessed.
"Then you're thinking of Jowan. You're wondering if you did the right thing by letting him go free," Wynne concluded.
"More than that—I'm wondering if I was thinking correctly when I released him," Vesperia admitted. She clasped her hands together, bringing them up to her face and gently nipped at her thumb nail, her eyes were still void of any emotion as they watched the flames continue their waltz with the camp timber.
"I went to the circle after being left at a Chantry a neighbouring village to Lothering—but that isn't where I first lived. Neither myself nor Jowan were from the villages the Circle believes us to be. I don't remember very much of it—I was so young when it all happened. I think I was four—or maybe five years old. Jowan and I lived in some farming land just outside of Amaranthine at the time. He was a year older than I. Our fathers were farm hands, and they'd often take us with them to free up our mothers so they could get everything done at home. Jowan used to pull my hair, trip me, and was constantly teasing me. Up until that one day, I'd always thought he hated me—"
A young child with jet black hair and peridot eyes screamed out in pain as someone tugged on her pigtail. The boy's amused laughter reached her ears as she spun and kicked at his chin. Jowan avoided her kick and smirked at her as he taunted, "you'll have to do better than that, Ves."
Vesperia scowled her fists and shoulders shook with anger as she lunged at the boy, he avoided her again and chuckled at her.
"C'mon Vesperia! Stop trying to hit me and just hit me," he encouraged in a mocking tone.
Vesperia felt her jaw clench, her teeth grinding as she brought a hand up and slapped him. Jowan blinked a little before laughing, "okay—that'll wake someone up if they're asleep—but won't stop someone from hurting you."
"Why do you tease me so much?!"
The boy's pale brown eyes softened at her tone of voice and he shrugged a little while he replied, "bad things can happen to good people, Ves. I want to know you can look after yourself if something happens. I mean we are friends, aren't we?"
'We're friends? All he ever does is bully me! Why would he think we're friends? Ugh, I don't understand boys,' the young girl thought to herself as she stomped off away from him. In her desperation to get away from the annoying pest his calls to her fell onto deaf ears. That is until larger and stronger hands wrapped around her.
Vesperia let out a startled scream as a strange man dressed in leather armor picked her up, his hand quickly clamped over her mouth, muffling any sound she attempted to make. Vesperia clenched her eyes shut and tried to squirm away from her attacker, but she wasn't strong enough to even move in his grasp.
He kept an arm firmly secured around her waist as he headed off with her. In her panic she once again heard her young neighbour's voice reaching her ears, "NO! I WON'T LET YOU TAKE HER!"
Suddenly the man's cap caught fire, panic filled his face as he released Vesperia from his grasp, and removed his cap. She landed heavily on the ground with startled gasp, pain seared through her arms and legs as her full weight pressed onto them. Despite the pain she felt her body obeying readily when she heard a familiar voice.
"Run! Come over to me, Ves," Jowan instructed. His legs were planted shoulder length apart and flames engulfed both of his hands, his face showing a ferocity to it that she had never before recalled seeing. Vesperia scrambled to get up to her feet but screamed when she felt someone pulling her up by her hair.
Jowan's scowl deepened as he motioned with his left hand like he was pitching a ball towards Vesperia, a ball of flames shot from his hand and hit the man's face, causing him to release her. She felt tears streaking down her face as she ran over to him.
Jowan positioned himself between the frightened younger girl and the attacker. Vesperia whimpered in fear as she watched the man get back up to his feet. Jowan kept his enraged glare on the man while the flames continued to shoot up and down from the palms of his hands.
The man regarded the two children before he turned and ran off, soon as he was out of sight the flames seemed to vanish from Jowan, he turned, instinctively wrapping an arm around Vesperia's shoulders. They stood there like that for a little bit before Jowan suggested, "let's get back to the farm."
Vesperia nodded her head slowly as the two children now headed off towards the farm off in the distance, Vesperia now staying glued to Jowan's side.
"—A few weeks later, we found out that there was a serial killer in Amaranthine. He prayed on young girls. Jowan discovered he was a mage because he first used magic to save my life," Vesperia concluded.
"I had no idea, child," Wynne offered while placing a calm hand on the young Grey Warden's shoulder.
"When the Templars first took me to the circle, I was scared—until I saw a familiar face. I had no idea he was at the Ferelden Circle as well. You see—shortly after that incident, Jowan's family packed up and left—I found out later that they moved to Honnath and that his father had left him at the chantry there when he grew too afraid of him. I had nightmares after Jowan left, one night I woke up from a nightmare and found myself surrounded by snow and ice. My mother immediately packed up my clothes and left me at the Lothering Chantry for the Templars to pick up. So until we reunited at the circle, I hadn't seen Jowan in nearly two years."
Vesperia paused, wetting her lips, before glaring angrily into the fire as she confessed, "when he was suspected of blood magic—I really didn't think he would do such a thing. Jowan—my friend Jowan? A blood mage? I scorned the idea. It just wasn't possible—but then—well you know of the incident with Gregoire, I'm sure. Then poisoning Arl Eamon—I can understand Irving being unsure of my decision to send Jowan into the fade, but I owed him that chance. I just wish I could've offered more. If it weren't for him—I wouldn't be a warden, I wouldn't have become a mage of the circle, I—I would've died that day as a child, never once knowing that I possessed magic."
The seasoned mage smiled warmly as she patted the young woman's shoulder. "Sometimes people change as they grow older, and sometimes they remain the same but make poor choices. I believe Jowan is the latter. You gave him a chance to prove that. Irving is not unreasonable, he will do what he can and defend that point as best as he's able to," the elder offered in comfort.
Vesperia slowly nodded her head in agreement before revealing, "I never spoke of what happened that day to anyone. It's a secret only Jowan and I knew—and now you know."
"Perhaps another trip to the circle is in order, to see about your friend's fate? I'm sure we can afford a small detour for you to have peace of mind, after all of the things you've done for us," Wynne suggested.
A small smile crept over Vesperia's lips as she nodded her head in agreement but insisted, "only if the others are willing though. The Blight is our first priority."
"Well you're not going to be able to fight an Arch demon very well if you're distracted," Alistair stated as he placed his shield on his back.
"Jowan might have done some terrible things, but he is also a true friend to you. I don't see the harm in a small trip," Leliana chimed in as she picked up her bow.
Wynne rose to her feet, gripping her staff and offered her hand to the Warden. "Let's find out Jowan's fate together," she coaxed. The warden's hand slipped into Wynne's as the younger woman stood up from her seat. Her pale green eyes met the sky blue of Wynne's eyes, then she glanced over to the Bard and the former Templar, feeling a warmth spreading through her chest.
"Yes—let's," She agreed.