Hi! It's been a good long while since I've posted anything. Getting ready for school takes a lot of time, but here I am, back where I learn stuff! I'm really excited to keep going with this story. Enjoy.

Atsushi's hands were shaking horribly. It'd been thirty minutes since Dazai presented him before the council. After a handful of tests that made very little sense to him, he'd been told to wait outside the council room while they determined his fate. He was tempted to lean against the door and try to make out some of what they were saying, but he was too worried he'd get caught. Pissing off a Jedi could lead to dire consequences.

What's going on in there? He thought, inching closer to the doors. A Jedi with unkempt brown hair passed by and glanced at him; Atsushi quickly averted his eyes to the ground and shifted away from the door. Heat rose to his face as he rubbed the back of his head guiltily. He wasn't completely sure if he would get in trouble for eavesdropping on the Jedi… He still was less than willing to get caught red handed.

What if they reject me? He wondered as he wrung his hands nervously. Then an even scarier thought occurred to him. What if they accept me?

If he was rejected, he could easily imagine getting tossed out of the Jedi temple, and left on a neutral planet with a handful of credits. He shuddered to think about all the terrible things that could happen once he wasn't the Jedis' problem.

Then there was the other possibility. If, by some twist of fate… or the Force- If they brought him in, he'd be trained as a Jedi. On the outside, it seemed great. Under the surface, it wasn't that straight forward. He could fail. He'd have to put himself in danger for others. He'd have to be selfless. And he had to ask himself if he could really do that. He wasn't sure. What if he couldn't reach those standards? How many people would he be failing?

The door opened and Atsushi practically fell off his bench. Stearn eyes looked him over, making him want to curl into a ball. "You're rather fidgety, aren't you?" A man with a blond ponytail said. Atsushi said nothing, he just stared back, unable to figure out what to say. He sighed and straightened his Jedi robes before giving Atsushi another stern look. "Do not drag the reputation of the Jedi through the mud."

Atsushi blinked, just beginning to open his mouth to respond.

"Is that clear, youngling?"

The boy shut his mouth and nodded, though his mind was still a million miles away. He was being told not to drag the Jedi Order reputation through the mud… He wouldn't have to be told that unless-

His logic was confirmed by a semi-familiar voice as more Jedi exited the council room.

"You ought to call him by what he is, Kunikida," Dazai said in a mock scolding tone. "He's a padawan now."

Atsushi tensed when Dazai's hand landed on his shoulder. The Jedi noticed...Not just Dazai, but anyone that happened to be passing by.

"What's going on?" Atsushi squeaked when Dazai clasped a hand on his shoulder and pulled him off the floor.

The Jedi smiled brightly. "I'm so glad you're asking, my young padawan!" He lowered his voice to a gentler tone when Atsushi started to hunch over as if he was trying to curl in on himself. "You passed. From this point on, I'll be training you in the ways of the Jedi."

Something seemed to claw inside of Atsushi's stomach. He couldn't do this. He wasn't ready. No, forget about being ready! He wasn't meant to go down this path. The only reason he'd agreed to it was because he didn't think he'd ever be accepted by the council. His mouth went dry as he opened it to protest.

Dazai yawned and dropped a hand onto Atsushi's head. It was as though he'd flipped a switch to shut off the boy's oncoming panic attack. The youngling looked up at him, a perplexed expression etched into his features. "That's the Force for you," the Jedi remarked, smirking as he released Atsushi. He started walking away, fully expecting his new padawan to follow. "You have a natural sensitivity in it." He glanced back at the youngling who followed closely behind him. "I don't want to scare you - Force knows fear is all too prominent in you - but with midichlorian count like that…" He trailed off, which made the knot in Atsushi's stomach grow. "There's a lot of groups that would take advantage of that." He stopped and turned to Atsushi so they were nearly face to face if the height difference was ignored.

"How?" Atsushi asked, once again feeling waves of serenity wash over him, which were no doubt thanks to Dazai.

The Jedi shrugged. "Well, there's the separatists. With how this war is going, they'd probably want another Force sensitive weapon. There's the Sith, who have a less optional method of training than we do." He paused. "There's also slavers, I suppose, but they'd have less need for a child who can use the Force."

Atsushi pressed his lips into a tight line. "Ummm… Master Jedi… I know you said you didn't want to scare me, but…"

"Right, sorry," Dazai muttered. "Anyway, at the moment, it doesn't look like you have anywhere to go." He raised an eyebrow at the child. "What makes you so reluctant to join the Jedi?"

Atsushi winced when Dazai brought that up. His reluctance could be taken as blatant ungratefulness. He hadn't been that obvious...Had he? "I'm not-" he began.

"Let us not forget that I'm a Jedi and can easily tell when you're lying," Dazai reminded in a sing song voice. He didn't sound angry in the slightest, just smug and somewhat playful. His voice turned serious in a split second. "Just tell me the truth. Unless you say that your intentions were to attack the Jedi temple or infiltrate, I won't lock you up or anything."

He looked up at the Jedi with pained eyes. "I can't do anything… I'm a burden to everyone around me." Atsushi looked away.

"The caretakers of the orphanage told you that, huh?" Dazai said tiredly. He heaved a long sigh. "Did it ever occur to you that they were wrong about you? That you're wrong about yourself?"

Atsushi shook his head. The idea seemed to be too radical for him to fully process.

Dazai leaned down to look him in the eye. "Have you ever thought about proving them wrong?"

The youngling looked at the floor and bit his lip as though he was bracing himself for a beating. "No… I've never considered that."

Dazai tsked. "What did I say about lying?" He calmly watched Atsushi flinch and carefully back away. The boy apologized profusely, hardly even capable of imagining the punishment for lying to a Jedi of all people. "Calm down. Your difficulty with being honest with both me and yourself isn't a big deal right now." He put a hand on Atsushi's shoulder. "The Force within you can build or destroy. Which do you want to do?"

Atsushi blinked, not understanding how someone as frail and useless as him could have the power to do anything. "I don't think…" He trailed off, having no idea what to say next. He stiffened when he looked into Dazai's eyes again. "I-I don't want to destroy…" Atsushi decided in a soft voice.

"Okay then," Dazai said. He smirked. "So, in other words, you're staying in the temple and training to be a Jedi."

"Bu-" Atsushi bit his tongue before he could finish. Arguing would hardly do anything to change his situation. "Okay."

Dazai smirked, probably very easily sensing his new padawan's anxiety. "Don't worry too much about it. You're just exhausted." The padawan blinked, still a bit out of it. "You used the Force as you probably never had before, you were probably really freaked out when you woke up in a cell, and this has all been a lot for you. I promise you'll get some down time after we get some stuff done."

Once he mentioned the exhaustion, Atsushi did feel his head get a bit heavier. The bed in the detention center hadn't been the most comfortable and staying in there for three days without any explanation hadn't helped. "What stuff?" He asked, resigning himself to his fate.

"Not too much. Just letting you get washed up, getting you some clothes, getting you in the system." He shrugged. "You can make your lightsaber in a couple days."

Atsushi seemed to freeze up a bit, but took a big breath in and kept walking. He fiddled with the hem of his ragged shirt. "Why did they accept me?" He muttered, asking the question that had gnawed at him since Dazai had called him his padawan.

"If it makes you feel any better, there was some debate over bringing you in."

How is that supposed to make me feel better? Atsushi asked mentally.

"Yeah, that probably wasn't the best comment to make you feel better," Dazai said, sensing Atsushi's train of thought. "It wasn't solely based on your Force potential. A good portion of the decision relied on your character." He paused. "Really the main reason for the whole debate was because you're older than most younglings are when they start training."

"What was the other reason?" Atsushi asked.

Dazai shrugged. "Something about the fear in you and danger of the Dark side taking over." Atsushi's stomach twisted at that explanation. "But," he continued in a carefree voice. "Just because they say the training will be difficult doesn't mean it'll be impossible. After all, Skywalker seemed to turn out great, and he wasn't originally from the Jedi temple."

The name meant nothing to Atsushi. If he'd heard about Skywalker, it would have been in some piece of drifting gossip. He guessed that Dazai brought him up so the youngling would feel a bit more hope in his situation.

…

"This is the library?!" Atsushi hissed when Dazai finally got around to bringing him to the temple library to put his name and face in the Jedi archives. The strange feeling of his new clothes was soon forgotten when he gaped at all the holobooks and datapads that surrounded them.

"What did you think I meant when I told you we'd go to the temple library?" He gestured to the huge expanse of shelves and knowledge before them. "This is a library."

"It's enormous…" Atsushi murmured, still struggling to imagine how many stories and records and pieces of wisdom the whole place could contain. He'd always loved reading, but could never get his hands on new content. The orphanage library was small. The amount of books he could find on the streets was even smaller.

Dazai chuckled, before taking Atsushi's arm and guiding him away. "I'm glad I got a padawan who actually appreciates the Jedi archives, but we still need to get your name in them and everything."

Atsushi nodded, feeling the thrill of the sheer size of the library remain in the back of his mind. He nervously tugged on his padawan braid that Dazai had painstakingly helped him weave into the part of his hair that was long enough to do anything with. Had he told me the Jedi had this sort of library, I probably would have said "yes" faster...

Dazai smirked, obviously knowing what Atsushi had thought. The boy smiled shyly, his face taking on a pinkish shade. It was a bit embarrassing that Dazai could read him so easily. "Let's go, Atsushi. Once we get you registered into the system, you can roam the library if you still have the energy." He shrugged. "Either way, there's a handful of archives you ought to read."

"Right," Atsushi muttered, starting to feel overwhelmed all over again.

"Not to worry," Dazai said. "I wouldn't have brought you back with me if I didn't think you could handle it."

…

"Da-" Atsushi stopped himself, losing his nerve to ask a question. He turned back down to the datapad before him.

"I know when a question's on your mind." He said casually. Dazai leaned over to see what his apprentice was reading. "Go ahead and ask."

"What are gray Jedi?" He paused, pressing his lips together while he contemplated the other question on his mind. "How do I actually use the Force?"

His master stretched his arms out boredly. "Well, for starters, you have the light side and the dark side." He used his hands to emphasise his point. "Jedi fall in the light, Sith fall in the dark. Gray Jedi, such as myself and a handful of others," he said, bringing his hands together with a clap. "Fall in between those two sides."

Atsushi puzzled over that for a moment. "Does that mean I'll end up being a gray Jedi since your teaching me?"

"Not necessarily, Atsushi." He paused for a little bit. "Granted, I may be a relatively large influence on what you choose, but ultimately the path is yours." He smirked, clearly sensing Atsushi's pleased feeling at having his own choice, though he still felt just a bit like he'd wound up under the Jedi's wing because he had nowhere else to go. "Give this place some time, you'll get used to it."

"That's another thing," Atsushi began, getting a bit bolder. "How can you tell what I'm thinking? Why can't I tell anything of what you're thinking?"

Dazai breathed a laugh. "I've been well acquainted with the Force for a good number of years. I know how to cloak my emotions and Force signature." He casually lifted the datapad from Atsushi's hands with the Force, drawing a surprised gasp from Atsushi. "You're an open book."

The comment made Atsushi redden and curl in on himself a bit. "Sorry," he murmured.

"It's not a bad thing. You'll have to learn to be a bit more guarded at times, but none of that is your fault." He smiled. "Patience is key." He gestured to Atsushi's quarters. "Get to bed. You've had a long day, and the real training begins tomorrow."

Atsushi nodded, pausing halfway to his room. "Will we always be in the dorms? Like living here?" He stopped, realizing how confused his question sounded. "Will we be living here?"

Dazai hummed in response. "Not quite. Just while we're in the temple." He paused, looking into space for a minute. "The Jedi lifestyle is by no means a stable one, but overall it's… good."

So, yeah. I want to make a whole long AU with this. I have some plans for Akutagawa to show up later, and I'm pretty excited about it!

Please review!