Chapter 9

Tris P.O.V

I always sat in the same stool, every third Thursday for three minutes. While my mother would trimmed my hair, I would look in the mirror. I wouldn't call it admiring myself, I would star at the changes the appeared every three months. It would surprise any person how much a reflection can change in just a matter of three months. The mirror was hidden in a locked sliding pantry door.

Moments like these I cherished growing up. My mother would take her time trimming my hair, talking to me about school, friends, volunteering, just anything that was going on in my world. She would offer me her wisdom when needed or wanted. While Caleb, and Dad were usually gone for the day doing volunteer work for the city. Allowing that mother and daughter these precious moments.

I remember one important conversation that we had oh so long ago. I was only fourteen at the time. So confused on the subject on the meaning of unconditional love.

"But Mom, how would you know when you truly love someone?" I asked her. The need for knowledge overwhelming me... I was always in search for knowledge with the endless questions.

"Oh, Beatrice. There is all sorts of love in this world my sweet girl!" She said brushing my hair our in one even length. "There is a love that you will share with friends. A love for a partner. A unconditional love for a soulmate. Then there is the most strongest love of all..." She says pausing her movements, looking at me through the mirror.

"What's that momma?" I ask her glancing at our reflections.

"The love between a mother and her child." She grabbed both my shoulders giving them a light squeeze.

"When you find the love of your life, Beatrice, just remember there is a difference between love for a partner and love for a soulmate. A love for a partner, will be overpowering, the devotion, the strength will make you feel light less. The passion that can be shared can be greater in so many ways. But a love for a soulmate... well. It's a unconditional love, that will connect you in so ways... you will less expect it. You will know truly that person by a glance in their eyes, words are never needed, to express needs and wants. You will know, when it happens." She says

"Was it like that for you and dad?" I asked her.

"Your father, when I first saw him. I remember looking into his eyes, and knowing that my life would never be the same. He would have a tough day at work and I would have this urge to see him and give him a hug. There is no other like him. Sure your father and I may not be perfect but the love we share is unconditional. A love that so pure and strong created you and your brother. That love I have for you two is more stronger than life it self." She says smiling.

I never understood the meaning behind her words from that day. That is until I met Eric the day of the choosing ceremony. I caught everyone by surprise. No one expected a little girl from Abnegation to be the first one to drop off a roof of a building into a unknown.

Eric was the one to help me out of the net, when I reached the bottom. His hand grabbed a hold of mine and pulled me to the edge of the net before catching me right before I had the chance to hit the floor. Immediately the bolts of lightening hit me every where he touched. It left me breathless.

"What's you name?" He asked me, and with every word he spoke, warm shivers went through me.

"um..." I said.

"Think about it.. you don't get to pick again." His eyes connects into mine, like it was seeing my soul. Leaving me almost breathless.

"Tris, my name is Tris." I said smiling. He made the announcement that the first jumper was Tris. Placing his hand on my lower back guiding me to the spot to wait.

"Welcome to Dauntless." He said, but before he turned to walk away I caught a smile threatening to appear on his face.

After that first day Eric and I had a unspoken connection. At first I thought I was going crazy. That there is no way he or anyone could ever find me attractive, well along have feelings for me. My body felt so small, under developed, and weak compared to his full muscular grown body. But Eric wouldn't have my insecurities. He would go out of his way, day in and day out, to express how beautiful I was. He appreciated everything I am and was. It pains me to look back on those days now. The days were things were so simple and innocent. The days before the war that Jeanine Matthews throw upon us.

Now, those days are a painful memory to me. Days that may never be gained back. Somehow managed to split our paths away from each other. Sure we might be able to work some form of relationship for our daughter but what we had is sure gone.

The love for my daughter saves me wishing for a different past. A past that if different, she wouldn't be here in my arms.

I look down at her cheeks, sucking on my breast, taking in the nutrients that she needs. I understand now the love my mother once spoke of. The love and bond between a mother and her child. She was born just a few hours ago, at three twelve in the morning to be exact. Abigail Marie Prior, I named her.

At first the Doctor feared I would need a C-section, given my size, they feared she wouldn't pass through. But with enough patience and focus, she would born, giving me four stitches. The soreness doesn't bother me, having her in my arms healthy and loved makes the pain dull. She was five pounds and nine ounces, and sixteen and half inches long. She eats every two hours, and when her belly and full and content she slowly rolls her head back, and closes her eyes. I have already checked her for ten fingers and ten toes. She has blonde curly hair, and beautiful dark blue eyes with a little hooked nose. I know I've seen these eyes, but they are not mine nor are they Eric's.

Knock on the door, a nurse walks in right after. I just finish nursing Abigail. It's the same nurse that wouldn't help me when I asked, but grown to appreciate her, Jess. Her head hangs down, I know she is ashamed of not able to help me. I feel bad for her, she shouldn't feel guilty. I understand the fear Eric and David give to everyone. Our eyes meet, and she looks down to my sleeping angel in my arms. She smiles, and a tear runs down her cheeks.

"She's gorgeous, a true blessing." She says reaching out, placing a hand softly on my sleeping Angel.

"Thank you." I say.

"Is she feeding, having dirty diapers ok?" She asks.

"Um.. yes, she just finished actually." I say.

She acts like she is checking machines, taking another look at Abigail she nods her head. "I will send word like you asked. I will help you. She deserves better." She says then quickly exist the room. Leaving me questioning to whom she will send word too?