*** Emotional Chapter ahead, try not to cry! Let me know in the comments :)******
Chapter 12
Tobias P.O.V
Adrenaline is running through my vanes. Everyone went home, preparing for the days to come. It was discussed that Christina, Zeke and I will leave in three days to investigate what is happening back in the Bureau. The others Amar, George, and Shauna will stay behind preparing to be our back up encase for our failure to return back.
Three days, it feels so close and yet so far at the same time. We leave Saturday morning before the sun rise, to ensure we get there early Saturday. We are given five days...Five days to return back, or PLAN B will be enforced.
I have three days to prepare for my absence at work. I know, I need to arrange take the most important meetings that can't wait and cramp them in the next three days. That may also keep my mind off of everything.
I know Christina and Zeke are not looking forward to going back to the Bureau. There has been too much was lost in one place for all of us. Zeke not only Tris has a friend, but he also lost his brother Uriah. Christina lost both her friends that she held so close to her through the war we fought and Dauntless initiation. She won't admit it, but I think she started to develop feelings for Uriah before he...
I am so grateful for Christina and Zeke, they both could have held Tris and Uriah's deaths against me. Instead, they held me together. All this time, they have been my glue putting me back together one piece at a time. I'm still broken inside, I'm still to blame.
After seeing Tris' body, I disappeared the next day. I took a truck from the Bureau, I didn't care. I drove back to the city, I was so numb, the grief over powered my mind, body, and soul. Christina found me back in Marcus' house back in Abnegation. She walked in discovering my intentions. I had cut my hair, and changed my cloths ready to take the life that I should have lived. A life that would have been lived if I never had made the choice to join Dauntless. A life that no doubt would have known Tris. Christina found me in time, before I could drink the memory serum. I wanted to become someone new, someone different, someone that wasn't broken, someone that was never unloved, scared, abandoned, and left behind to spend the remainder of his days alone broken, never to be whole again.
"Mathew told me you stole the memory serum and a truck. I have to say, I didn't really believe him." She said at the door of what use to be my room.
"Then why did you come, if you didn't believe him." I said turning to face her.
"Just in case, give me the vial, Tobias." She says taking one step closer holding out her hand.
"No, this is my choice not yours." I say first low as a whisper. Then almost yelling I say again. "This is my decision, not yours. " I held the vial tightly protecting it with my hand.
"This is the decision of a coward, and you're a lot of things, Four, but not a coward." She screamed right back at me.
"Maybe I am now. Things have changed and I am alright with it." I said right back getting angrier at you and the world.
"You can't become a person she would hate, and she would have hated this." She yelled the words at me like screaming would have made me listen better. I was so lost, so numb from the pain.
"Shut up! You don't know what she would have hated!" I yelled right back.
"I know enough! She would have hated this!" She yelled, tears in her eyes. "I also know how it feels to loss someone you love for no good reason. To want to trade all your memories for a moment of peace. Will, changed me! Just like Tris changed you even more. The person you became with Tris, is worth being, if you do this... What will happen to her memories and what's left of her?" She said. That's all it took. She broke me down, letting me break in a million pieces.
Every day after has been how to honor Tris. To make her proud of the man she made me into, and to finish what she died trying to create and protect.
The next three days came and went. I made all the meetings that couldn't wait, the others rearranged for another week. My truck is all gassed and ready to go. I glance in the back seat, Zeke lays in the back seat stretched out, and asleep. What I would give to have a bucket full of ice cold water.
"Wake me when we get there. Shauna kept me up all night long, with her goodbye kisses." He had said before claiming in the back.
"Yea, I didn't need to know that, bro." I said, rolling my eyes.
Of course the last one is Christina. I knocked on her door this morning to make sure she was awake, I also hoped that she wouldn't make us wait forever. Knowing her she is bringing each piece clothing she owns with us. She also probably expects me to load it around for her.
"Alright, I'm here! Here make yourself useful would ya?" She says throwing me her bag. It feels like a million bricks.
"What do you have in here rocks?" I say, trying to hold back a laugh.
"Hey, trust me, you might thank me." She says jumping in the passenger seat. The fear of she may have packed sneaks in for a split second. I take a deep breath, Christina will always be Christina. Throwing her bag into the bed of the truck. Wondering what she had in her bag to make such a loud thud against the floor of the bed. I claim in the driver seat and start the engine. Christina looks in the back seat at Zeke, probably thinking the same thing I was right before she joined us.
"What happened to sleeping beauty back there?" She says pointing at the sleeping Zeke.
"Trust me, don't ask." I say putting the truck in gear and pulling out on the street.
"Yea, you are probably right." She says laughing. "You really think Tris may be alive?" She says no more laughter in her voice.
"I don't know. It wouldn't make sense. We have her ashes. We saw her body. But on the other hand if David is awake, he is more then capable of making things appear what they really are not. The only thing is, if she is alive... Why hasn't she come home? I mean come on, Tris would bust her ass to come back to us." I say, one hand on the steering wheel, glancing at Christina.
"Unless something is keeping her there." Christina points out.
"If she is... I wouldn't doubt her being angry and possibly hating me for leaving her there." I say, my lips pushing themselves together into a line.
"This is, Tris. To forgiving and selfless. She also loves your ass. No matter how much you piss her off" She says the truth.
"Lets not talk about this anymore... I don't know how to think right now." I say needing to change the subject.
"I can't imagine. Ok then, so you know Jeffrey ask me out?" She says. Thankful for her changing the subject.
"What? Finally? Like, Oh My God! What did you say?" I jokingly say, trying to act like a girl would in this case. Even making my voice more feminine. She laughs at my poor attempt.
"I told him that I would think about it, and let him know when I get back. I just don't know if I'm ready." She admits.
"Yea I get that. Just be careful ok. Don't make me have to hunt his ass down." I say grinning at her.
"Can you ladies shut the hell up! I'm trying to sleep!" Zeke says, with a pillow over his ears. Christina and I bust out laughing. Something I thought would never happen nine months ago.