Chapter 30
Tobias P.O.V
The past few days has been interesting to say the less... Since Tris and I decided that we would try and figure things out together, our complicated relationship has luckily been taking a toll for the better. Thing like small innocent jokes, little innocent flirting, we have been getting along great. She even stopped flinching when I got close to her. Which I was very grateful for.
One night, I wasn't able to sleep. Well correction, I woke up because of a certain dream, and my body refused to go back to sleep. Hard to admit, but my dick was starting to have a mind of it's own... No matter what that night I couldn't control it. The thought of Tris waking up and seeing my uncontrollable and embarrassing situation, I decided a cold shower would and should work. DAMN was that water cold, and still did not help me. Having no choice, I decided no other option, I took care of it.
The things that are embedded in our brains. Tris and I both were raised in Abnegation, sex other for educated purposes were never spoke about. We were taught that masturbation along with having sex is a form of selfish. Sex should only be performed for the purpose of life making. I wonder now, how many cold showers the men in Abnegation took... Or were all men found selfish at some point.
Once I was done, I stepped out of the shower reaching for my towel. It was then, I realized I forgot to lock the door. Well at least, Tris sees I showered.
The door was open enough for her little body to pass through. The expression on her face looked like she hilarious. She looked like she was caught sneaking a cookie out of a cookie jar, followed by her cheeks turning fire red.
"Tris, I thought you were asleep." I said reaching for my towel.
"I was... I needed... to go... bathroom." What did she just say? Then I see her eyes, they are not meeting mine. They are everywhere else but my eyes.
"Oh Ok... sure you didn't want to take a peek?" I said, just couldn't help myself. Her face was priceless. I laughed harder then I laughed in a really long time. "Tris, breath. It's ok. Nothing you never seen before." I said while wrapped a towel around my waste.
"Probably, we have the sleeping evidence in the room." She said pointing to the sleeping Angel behind her.
"Um I'll... just... for you … to be done." She can't even talk... hopefully that is a really good sign. Does she like what she sees?
"Tobias, Tobias? Can you help me please?" I hear Tris say taking me out of my thoughts.
"Mm what was that, love?" I ask her, letting the nickname that I always wanted but never got around to using. I can see she noticed it too, her cheeks are turning red.
"Can you help me out of bed? I want to sit on the couch?" She ask.
"Of course, love." I say. The cat is out of the bag might as well use it while she allows me to.
When I have Abigail in my arms, I feel a calming effect she gives off. The love I have for my daughter is beyond anything I ever thought existed, The need to always be with her, protect her, make her happy, and to always keep her healthy and safe. I can't help but think about my own parents. I will never understand how a parent can hold their child and not feel this need to protect and love them. How can a parent reflect such hurtful actions on their child? I will never... I rather Tris kill me, cut both my hand off, hell Ill do it myself before harming this little Angel in my arms.
I notice Caleb enter the room, seeing the laptop in his hands. There is hope that he may of found something to help us. But my hopes are quickly demolished when he says that they haven't been able to locate anything on a cure for Tris. He explained that the serum that were used it was made up of two different serums, to make matters worst, it was concluded that they mixed high volume dosage of both serums. The intentions were obvious, since they never expected for Tris to come home, there was no cure ever made or thought of. The look in her eyes, tell me how upsetting the thought her memories will be lost for good.
My heart hurt at the thought, memories make you who you are in life. Without our past we can't grow has a human, learn from our mistakes and cherish each moment.
"I promise, we won't stop trying to make one for you, Tris." Caleb promised looking at Tris. "Although your brain works different. You might be able to fight this off on your own, or maybe it will wear off after time."
"So basically you don't know shit." Tris spit out.
"Hey, calm down, remember we will figure this out. TOGETHER!"I say trying to comfort her, placing a hand on her shoulder.
"We did find something."Caleb said looking toward the floor. "Eric, he... he left a tape. A message, for you and Four."
"Have you watched it?" I ask.
"I watched the first few minutes. I had to stop. It's a lot to take in." Caleb says, the look on his face tells me the tape will take a lot to swallow.
"What was on it?" Tris ask.
"Eric talking, very detailed about everything. I felt like I shouldn't watch it." Caleb said looking uncomfortable. My thoughts go back to the room where I found Eric. The screens that projecting Tris and I making love, and then at the same time showing Tris and Eric in the same room, same couch. I think I'm going to be sick.
"I'll leave you my laptop and you can double click the file that says Eric. If you choose to watch it." Caleb says, walking out of the room.
I place Abigail back down in her crib, taking a seat next to Tris. I know this is her choice, she has so many questions that I have no answers for. She might be able to get them, at what expense I'm not sure. Eric loves to torture people not just physical but mentally too.
I for one would be more then happy not to watch it. The two videos of Tris... still very fresh in my mind. Trying to remind the situation, I can't hold that against Tris. I won't.
"You don't have to... there may not be anything helpful in there." I say having the need to warn her.
"I want to know why? Why did he do this? Is there a way to get pass this?" Tris says eyeing the screen.
"Are you sure?" I ask her
"Yes, I need to know. Um you don't have to watch." She says
"If you are watching it, then so am I. Together, remember. We will get through this together." I say. I want to support her, I want to protect her too. I won't let her endure this alone. I may also need to take a break and throw up.