Chapter 41
Tobias P.O.V
We spent the rest of the morning in Abnegation sector, or in our case memory lane. We took Abigail into the Church that we both once prayed in, Abnegation members would pray every Sunday. We then decided walked through the Volunteer building, and Abnegation Hall, both of us telling each other older stories about our childhood volunteer years. It amazes us both how close we always seemed to be but never really met. It was like faith kept smacking us together until we both finally gave up the fight to stay away.
We ended our tour at the giant sculptor that honors the fallen Abnegation members that were killed during the war. The sculptor is two giant hands one clearly helping the other. Although Tris knew of her parents death, her eyes still swelled when she located their names on the side on the monument. Tris also located many of her classmates that didn't survive the war. The Blacks being one of them...
By noon we were both physically and emotionally drained and needed a change of scenery. I drove us to the Newly open Millennial Park, unpacking the car I got out the big blanket, picnic basket and the portable crib. Once the crib was standing securely, Tris place Abigail in crib and turned to help me with lay out the blanket. I then got to work with unpacking the lunch that I prepared, eager to eat myself. We enjoyed bottle of water, fruit salad, turkey and cheese sandwiches, and some chocolate cookies. Once we finished eating I cleaned up the trash and worked at putting away the basket while Tris laid back and relaxed.
I really enjoyed doing these things for Tris, the smile on her face always left me breathless. I would love nothing more then to make sure that smile stays on her face for the rest of my life. If she allowed me to that is.
We both fall into a comfort silence, relaxing under the sun, not needing to move. Until that is Abigail woke up, I stood almost instantly at hearing her stir. I picked her up as her little mouth made is circle shape following a yawn. I'm at awe with all her little thing Abigail does. I try to imprint it in my memory to cherish it forever.
"Does she need to be changed? Tris asked.
"Yea, but no worries I'll take care of that. You just get your boobs ready." Jeez did I just say that? Watch your mouth Tobias.
"Really?" She asks I see her trying to hold back a laugh that threatens to escape. She isn't doing a really good job though.
"Sorry, that just came out." I say apologizing.
"It's ok. Not like it's not true." She says smiling. Relief washes over me, thankful that she isn't angry with my mouth. "So why Four?" She ask.
"Um.. when I left Marcus I wanted to forget the past, start a new life, new name for a new life kinda of thing. My instructor was Amar." I say.
"Amar... wait didn't I meet him last night?" She ask.
"Yes you did. Any who, he walked me through my fear of landscapes. Turns out I only had Four fears, lowest amount of fears ever recorded in Dauntless. So that became my nickname." I say.
"Then I had six fears... I remember that." She says.
"Correction you had seven fears... but one was eliminated the same night. Intimacy... I calmed you down let you know I was basically on the same page as you were, not yet ready to go there." I say.
She doesn't say anything, she doesn't nod, she continues to look down at her hands in her lap. When I notice enough time has passed, I have changed Abigail's diaper and layed her on her tummy.
"Tris, I'm sorry did I say something wrong?" I ask.
"Huh... oh no I'm sorry. I just got caught in my mind I guess. Everything is ok, I'm fine." She says.
"You know if you ever want to talk about... or to Christina... or even if you feel you need someone else more qualified. Just let me know. There is nothing wrong with talking or asking for help." I say, needing her to know I'm here for her no matter what.
"Thank you." She says while nodding.
"Can I ask you something?" I ask. She nods at me in return. "I noticed you left you door open last night, was there a reason or...?"
"Um... it helps to know I am where I am, and not back there." She answers.
"I don't understand. Where you locked up in a room or something? I ask.
"Um... Eric... would keep me in a locked room, or living quarter. He said it was to make sure to keep you out. But I knew it was more for controlling purposes." She answers playing with her hands. She seems uncomfortable talking about this. I quickly nod and go for a conversation change.
"Well, you better get those nipples out... I think a gorgeous little Angel is ready for her lunch." I say lifting Abigail from the floor and making faces at her. I can't wait to hear her laugh one day. I place Abigail in Tris' arms and immediate starts to nurse her. It amazes me life little miracles, watching Tris nurse our child. I drape a blanket over them both and sit back with a big goofy smile on my face.
"So I was thinking how about a nice movie and take out tonight?" I ask,
"Yea that sounds nice. You sure you not tired of us yet?" Tris says with a smile that matches mine.
"You.. her... never!" I respond.
If every day was like this, I would die a happy man. Here blissfully happy with the two girls I love most in this world. I know loosing either one will kill me.