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Chapter 56
Tobias P.O.V
I knew it was time, it has been time for us to return back to Dauntless. There is a slim to none chance that she will remember, that this will help her. But even a small chance is worth taking. Even if this doesn't work, I want her to know us, to know our story. I want her to understand how she changed me.
We have managed to go through the motions, reliving some of our precious moments. Meeting at the net, watching her fall into my heart, helping her out of the net, cafeteria, the training room, and the shooting. I wanted to throw knives, one of our other precious moments... The moment that I wanted to protect her from Eric, I would have given anything to throw the knives at him instead of her. But then I would have lost her, would have lost the chance at everything. So I threw them at her, risking the chance to be with her over the need of at least protecting her from him. But something was happening with her, she was loosing control while training. I knew we needed a change of scenery. She won't tell me what's going on in her mind. Is she thinking about Eric, are the memories that she has of them, as precious as I hold our memories?
I take the gun out of her hands, I move slow not wanting to frighten her. I lift the gun, the now empty gun, and put it back on the table.
"Tris, you ok?" I ask her, knowing that I am fighting a no winning game.
"Yea, I'm ok. Sorry." She says trying to smile, but I know it's just a mask her emotions.
"You don't have to apologize." I tell her. "You know I'm here for you. You can tell me anything. Right?" She nods looking at the floor.
"Come on, lets get out of here." I tell her.
"Are we going to change back into..." She says when we miss the Dorms completely.
"We will later. Don't worry." I say. We can shower and change in my old apartment.
Having no choice, we walk down the hall the leads us to the Chasm. We need to walk through it in order to get to the Fear of Landscape room. She stops at the railing, holding on to it.
"I... I was attacked her, I remembered." She says looking at me. "I remember you saved me."n
"Yes. I almost didn't make it. I was covering a shift for a friend in the control room that night. I was heading back to my apartment. I heard your scream. At first I didn't know what to think, I wanted to hope I could help the person in distress. Then I was hoping that it wasn't you.. as I got closer I saw three of them and you hanging for dear life. I saw red, Tris. I lost control that night, on Drew. I could have killed him. But I heard your voice calling for me, and all I could think about was helping you. Getting you someplace safe and warm." I explain to her. "Is that how you remember it?"
"Not exactly, you saved me. Then took me to the infirmary and called Eric. Eric helped me." She says. When she finishes I notice her expression changes looking to the floor. "I'm sorry, I.. I shouldn't have said that."
"Tris, you can tell me. I know they changed a lot of our memories. You can tell me what is in your memories. Maybe it will help, or if anything make you feel better." I say trying to comfort her, I reach out barely gracing her arm with my knuckle. She nods and says "Thank you."
We reach the doors to the Fear of Landscape, I hear her take a deep breath. I remember she hated the fears that she faced. If she wanted to show me her fears or not it was up to her. I would never force her. But I wanted her to see mine, for her to understand me.
"Fear of landscape room?" She asks.
"I thought since we are here... I haven't gone in since the war. I wanted you to come in mine. To show you my fears. If you want to show me yours... or not. That's completely up to you, Tris. I won't force you." I explain my intentions to her. She nods and I get things ready for us. I take a syringe and inject myself, then I turn to her and inject her with it. I take her hand and hold on until the room emerges into my fears.
FIRST- The room emerges into the Hancock building, we are on the roof. Tris still holding my hand, there is no way down other then to jump. Something I still fear, causing me goosebumps.
"We have to jump." I heart Tris say next to me. I nod in agreeance. "On three.. one... two... three." We step forward and fall.
Second-We fall and reach the ground, quickly it emerges. Still holding Tris' hand we are in a room. Both Tris and I are in bed together nothing but a quilt is hovering our naked bodies. Our lips our crashing into each other, hands are roaming over each other's bodies. I'm hovering over Tris, cherishing you every inch.
"MMM Tobias... please." Sim Tris begs me.
"Are you sure?" Sim Tobias says.
"I want you." Sim Tris says. The visual of me placing all my weight on one elbow while my hand disappears between us.
"What the hell is this, Tobias." Tris says. I'm so embarrassed. My insecurities are about to come out.
"I... I..." I can't find the words.
Almost immediate sim Tris starts to question what is happening between her and sim me. "Umm... Tobias?" She ask, sim me.
"Am I hurting you, baby?" Sim me ask.
"Are you in?" Sim Tris ask.
"Yes." Sim me says. Sim Tris laughs forcing me off of her, laughing she says. "Seriously, Eric at least knew what he was doing. He was also better equipped." The look on my Sim face says it all, the hurt, and the embarrassment all on my face.
"Tobias.. it's just a sim. That won't happen. I promise, baby." Tris says squeezing my hand to comfort me.
"How can you know that?" I ask her, glancing away from our sims.
"Because... just trust me. I may not remember but trust me, Eric has nothing on you. I promise." She says with a smile of reassurance.
Third- We are back in our home, older sim me is sitting on the couch enjoying a nice movie with sim Tris. Snuggling, enjoying the warmth of each other's bodies. When I hear loud screaming coming from the kids' room. Almost immediate anger spreads my face.
"Tobias, please let it go." Sim Tris says her eyes are pleading for me to relax and calm down. But that doesn't happen. I stand from the couch, removing my belt and walking to the kids' room.
"No. No. No. Don't do this!" I yell at the sim Tobias. Trying to block him from entering the room. But he walks right through me. When I turn I see an older Abigail and a little boy that looks like Tris sitting, playing on the floor. Then the door close, and I can hear their screams and the sound of the belt meeting their skin. Sim Tris, sitting frozen on the couch. I fall to the floor on my knees. Tears falling down my cheeks. I feel arms wrapping around my body from behind.
"Shah, baby it's just a sim. You are nothing like your father. Please, please believe me. You would never." Tris says. I close my eyes trying to take deep breaths to calm myself down. Trying to ignore the screams of our children being abused by me, their father. I feel Tris' hands onmy face, demanding my face to look up at her. "Look at me Tobias." She says and I do what I am told. Forgetting the noise and focusing on my breathing. The screaming stops.
Fourth- We are still in the apartment, but the screams have stopped. I stand ready for the last fear to come. Behind Tris, in the living room stands sim Tris. Sim Tris, has suit cases in her hands, next to her is Abigail with a back bag. I stand in front of her yelling at her, begging sim Tris not to do what she is about to do.
"Please Tris, I can change. I promise. Don't do this. Don't leave me. Don't take my daughter from me." I tell sim Tris, tears running down my cheeks.
"Tobias, it isn't working. I don't love you. I never did." Sim Tris says taking another step forward. I'm in shock, running my hands through my hair not knowing what to do. "Please Tris, don't.. What about Abigail?" I ask.
"Mommy says I have a new daddy. A better daddy." Sim Abigail says. The walk past me out the apartment, closing the door behind them. Leaving me alone, on the floor.
Real Tris takes wraps her arms around me squeezing me gently. "We have a lot to talk about, Tobias. But I will never leave you. You are my home. I love you!" Tris says reaching for my cheek. Surprise by her words, I lean down and kiss her with all the emotions I have. We are back in the fear of landscape room, our lips are still molding against her. I refuse to let her go, including her lips. When air becomes a need, I pull back slightly just enough for our foreheads to leaning against each other.
"Say it again." I say.
"I love you and you alone, Tobias." She says our eyes never leaving each other.
"I love you too, Tris, more than anything." I say leaning back down needing our lips to reconnect again.
"Tris, are you sure? You don't have to?" I ask her one last time before injecting her with the serum.
"Yes, I want you to see my fears too Tobias." She says leaning her head back. I inject her and then inject myself. I than take both her hands in mine and wait for the sim to start again.
First- We stand in a field, and I know this fear already. We look up to the sky and there thousands of crows coming towards us. She runs picking up a branch to fight back the birds. Then she sees it, the gun on the floor. She grabs the gun, turns back and starts to shoot.
Second – We in a glass box, the water is raising fast. I tell her to break the glass. "the glass is ice, the glass is ice, the glass is ice." She says while tapping on the glass. By the third time, the glass cracks and gives way. We fall out on the ground.
Third- I see Tris, she is strapped to a post and flames are surrounding her getting higher. Eric, and David are their taunting her. "Smell that stiff? Eric says. "That's the smell if your burning flesh.
"Know what I smell?" Tris ask opening her eyes. "I smell rain." It than rains, and the sim ends.
Fourth- Tris is stand in front of sim me holding his hand. He looks at me with a blank star. "How dare you? You are discussing? How could you.. with him? With Eric? We're done, Tris. I don't want you. I can't even look at you." Sim me says glaring at Tris. He lets go of her hands, pushing her back slightly and walking away from her. Sim Tobias never looks back to her, leaving her alone sobbing. My heart breaking watching the scene unfold. She fears that I will leave her, after all that may have happened?
Tris fall forwards leaning against her knees, crying uncontrollably. I knee in front of her wanting nothing more than to comfort her, to stop her tears, and this fear. I reach out cupping her cheeks with both my hands. "Tris, there is nothing you could do or say that will make me walk away from you. Nothing, baby. You are it for me. You are Abigail are my life, my world. Please baby, let this go." I tell her trying to explain how much I need her.
Fifth- We are in a lab, Tris am strapped to a table. Caleb is in a white medical coat. Abigail and sim me are strapped to chairs.
My heart sinks, a new fear, one much earned through her past. But one that would never happen again. I won't allow it.
"If you do not corporate, you will loose one of them." Caleb tells her.
"So what you want to me... just leave them out of this. Don't hurt my family." Tris tells him. I hear Abigail crying next to me for her mother. Sim me screams and try to fight free. "Abigail, close you eyes. Baby, mommies is so sorry." The knife slowly cutting into her flesh open... The room then emerges.
Sixth- Sim me and Tris are sitting on the couch, watching Abigail playing on the floor. Tris is pregnant with our second child. Sim Tobias rubbing circles on Tris' swollen belly. When the front door swings open, and Eric walks in. "I told you Tris, I win this time." Eric says raising his gun and taking a shot. Sim Tobias dashes to where Eric aims his gun... Abigail. I hear the shots and they both lay on the floor, laying in the pool of their own blood. Neither sim Tobias or Abigail are moving. Then I see Eric coming towards Tris, this time knife in his hand. Stabbing Tris in the stomach. "Now they are all dead." Eric says with a grin.
The sim ends and we stand in the room, holding each other while we both sob into each other's embrace.