Warning: Long but necessary Author's Notes.

Alright, first off. The reviews. All of you were really nice, and I was practically jumping up and down in excitement at each comment that told me that I'm a good writer. Thanks guys! It was hard deciding a winner for the reviewer contest. So even if you didn't win, don't get upset 'cause who knows? The next chapter could be for you! :)

Story Dedicated To: MissfitThunder

Story Summary

Eavesdropping is bad, really bad. When the Fowl Twins decide to eavesdrop on a private conversation between Artemis and his mother, they get the completely wrong idea which only Angeline was supposed to hear. And now they believe their eldest brother has got his first date, but trying to ruin things for Artemis could actually end up bungling some important LEP business. Why? You'll find out soon enough.

Warnings: This one has no actual romance, only in the end some A/H. The chapter might be crossing its borders of the K+ rating during the dancing scene, but I SWEAR on my word as a princess that it's still completely safe for younger readers.

All characters are the property of Eoin Colfer. *applauses*

Holly couldn't believe what was happening. This was impossible. This was...this was definitely not happening! No way! How could Retrieval be such...such...

"Fools," muttered Trouble, as if he'd just read her mind and completed the sentence. The Captain nodded patiently, although what she actually felt like doing was slapping Chix straight in his green face. Chix, on the other hand, stood in the corner quietly, as if this whole mess wasn't his fault and he hadn't been in command of the Retrieval squad. Thanks to him and his useless team, a couple of extremely dangerous murders were out on Haven City, targeting every big businessman there was. They'd lost the one opportunity to get them behind bars. Unfortunately, the general public was convinced they had the situation under control.

Trouble Kelp was not about to let his reputation go down just yet. Not this way.

"Captain Short," he said. "This mission might require undercover work."

Holly winced. "Not my strong point, sir," she admitted regrettably. Kelp nodded. "Perhaps. But you are the only one I could trust at the moment. Besides, this would be your perfect opportunity at a higher rank."

"Frankly, I don't want..."

"Being a Major nowadays means less paperwork and more field jobs."

She had to think it over. "Alright, but can I first..."

"Get all the help you can. Locate the couple. Sedate them, get them behind bars and the rank is yours."

Well, it sounded easy enough.

Artemis Fowl was bored. He had nothing to do, nobody to talk to, and absolutely nothing to think of, besides sitting in one place and absently composing symphonies on his piano. He couldn't be bothered with recording it. He had two very difficult options to choose from: either continue miserably doing this, or play with the twins. He was in no mood for the latter.

Five minutes and thirty two seconds later, everything changed.

He answered the Fairy communicator even before its first ring. "Holly," he breathed, sounding utterly relieved of something meaningful to do. Honestly. If he didn't know better himself, Artemis would've sworn he was getting tired with Beethoven. Maybe Mozart as well.

There was a soft chuckle from behind. Artemis immediately spun round to find a certain auburn-haired elf standing there, smirking with her own communicator held in one hand. He sighed. Some things never changed.

Holly looked at him expectantly, which puzzled the human slightly. "Excuse me?"

The elf laughed, before walking over to the piano -and his hand still playing it, he hadn't even noticed- and pressed a black key with all the pressure she could muster, causing Artemis to wince and pull his hand back. Note to self: Never let Holly touch a musical instrument ever again. She just couldn't...well, as Juliet would have put it, "Sorry, Fairy Girl. But Mozart never made people's ears bleed like you do."

"What?" he snapped, irritated. "Was that really needed?"

Holly nodded. "You should have just stopped. What's with the slow music? It sounds like some romantic background. If I didn't know you better..."

"I rather enjoy slow music. It isn't romantic, rather peaceful and stress-relieving."

"No it's not! Did you-were you doing that on purpose?"

Artemis bit back a retort. Instead, he grinned slyly. "So, you do find my symphonies romantic? I never did think you were the type."

The elf could feel some amount of heat rising at the back of her ears. That Mud Boy could really drive her insane. And it didn't help in the least that he appeared slightly attractive after all the remorseless working out Butler had forced him to do. Hoping he hadn't noticed, she snapped and moved onto a completely different topic.

"Did Foaly tell you about the murderers?"

He was suddenly in business mode, playful look now long gone. "I haven't heard about them. I suppose there is a serious situation and my assistance is required?"

Holly nodded curtly. "More or less. I plan to go undercover. These murderers, they're closely associated. I think they're a couple, of sorts. A male and female. Both elves. Quick, sly and barely leaving a one opportunity we got at them, retrieval blew it. I'm not all that surprised, seeing as Chix was in charge." She sat on the now closed lid of the piano. Artemis, though obviously didn't approve, kept his comments to himself. The elf continued. "This is kind of big for me too. I do the job properly, big promotion and no more paperwork. Plus, two dangerous criminals wind up behind bars."

"Ah, I can understand why you need my help. I presume Foaly already has the location?"

"Even better. However useless Chix was on the mission, he did manage to get some seeker-sleeper onto the suspect. This version of it is more advanced, it's got audio too. No visual though, and that might just be for the best."

Artemis raised an eyebrow. "Is there a reason you say that?"

"Yes, because that male elf is one sick individual and...he says some pretty sick stuff. Frond can imagine what kind of things he does."

The Irish boy chuckled. "Captain, I am volunteering to assist you in your mission."

"Thanks, Arty. But there's a problem with that, too." She took her eyes off his, travelling along the wall instead. "Through the audio, we managed to hear some...useful details. We know where to find them next, and at what time. But..."

"But?"

"The place is a bit of a problem."

Artemis frowned. He was later going to regret the simplicity of his question. "Why?"

Holly could suddenly no longer sit on the piano. Perhaps her back was just sore, but there was an embarrassed look on her face. She absently walked over to the corner of the room before answering.

"Because...they'll be on a date."

The human put two and two together, arriving at a very...not-quite-pleasant four. If they were going together on undercover, and the people they were spying on were going on a date, that only meant one thing.

They'd have to go on one too.

Artemis knocked once on his parents' bedroom door. As much as he felt like going off without Angeline's knowledge, he couldn't. The twins would let her know before he set foot outside the house, and the whole of the next week would not be very pleasant then. So he planned to lie while at the same time please his mother, making her believe he was going on a social outing for once.

"Come in," came Angeline's voice and he immediately obliged. Unfortunately, he hadn't noticed two mischievous little heads listening at the door once he shut it behind him.

"Mother, I would like to request your permission to leave for Paris tonight. There have been...developments in my social life, I am happy to inform you."

She frowned. "Is this a lie?"

"No," admitted Artemis. It was true. Except the Paris part, perhaps, but she hadn't inquired about that. Besides, the destination was above ground anyway. "I am merely asking if you would let me leave in order to meet with...a friend. There are a few important matters we would like to discuss. Please tell the twins that I have left. I wouldn't want them panicking for no apparent reason."

Angeline had to smile at that. She closed the novel perched on her lap and returned it to her shelf. "May I know who this friend is?"

"Hardly relevant. I need only to assure you that she can be trusted."

"She?" His mother appeared delighted. Artemis could barely resist groaning. "Yes, mother. She. Now if you would excuse me." He turned to leave, but Angeline managed one final statement before he did.

"Good luck with that girl, Arty."

"You heard, Beckett?"

"It's crazy!"

"This is the perfect opportunity to get back at him."

"Why?"

Myles groaned. "Please don't tell me you've forgotten about the campfire incident?"

"Okay! Sounds great! Let's get back at him!" Beckett's face went blank again. "Um, how?"

The smarter of the two visibly face palmed. "Are you serious? You just heard him. We can find a way to humiliate him in front of the girl he likes."

Beckett beamed. "Awesome!"

"And then we'll be even for last week when he told father that we started the fire."

The blonde haired twin was suddenly skeptical. "Isn't Paris far away?"

Myles rolled his eyes. "Somehow I doubt he really is going to Paris."

"Alright, Foaly. Explain. Destination?"

"Fancy Aboveground dance hall. I've already prepared fake invitation cards."

"Plan?"

"Let Holly do it. She only needs to get close enough to plant a remote-controlled sedative on one or both of them. When I press the button, they go unconscious and we take them hostage. It's as simple as that."

"What's the catch?"

"None I can think of, except maybe the fact that you'll have to blend in with the crowd." The on-screen image of Foaly paused to snicker. "Dance."

They had arranged for Holly to arrive at Fowl Manor by seven o' clock. From there, they would proceed to travel to their targets' destination and do as planned. The "catch" was bad enough, but having to dance with the elf made it much worse. Not that Artemis wouldn't secretly enjoy it, but there was a problem. Neither of them could dance. Holly would whine endlessly about having to wear something besides her usual LEP uniform. He would constantly keep tripping and missing steps. The whole operation could blow up with one wrong move, but they didn't want to quit now. It wasn't a reasonable option.

And it didn't get any less reasonable when the elf finally arrived.

Artemis had to muster every bit of self control he had, not to stare at her with his mouth agape. Possibly drooling even, who knew? Although he'd expected the dress, he hadn't quite seen this coming.

It was a deep shade of turquoise, made to fit her form perfectly. Surprisingly, the dress was strapless and had a belt at the waist. Her perfectly built shoulders were gracefully showing, the color of the dress highlighting her visible collarbone. He was quite certain Holly had not done the hair herself, thanks to that one time Juliet forced the elf to give her a makeover. It looked...amazing. Who would've thought such short hair could be tied that way? The tips were wet, clear evidence she'd just had a shower. There was nothing but a semi-long stick keeping it in place, sort of resembling the traditional Japanese style.

Another sight were her ears. Sapphire stones on hanging silver earrings. The points had been wrapped in Nu-skin patches, Artemis guessed.

For once, he was at loss for words and simply led her to the awaiting limousine he'd hired for the mission.

The driver grinned from the front seat.

"Holly Short in a dress. I never thought I'd see the day," commented Mulch, smirking. That was when he hit the accelerator and, even though limos weren't supposed to go fast, crashed into the first thing in his path: a board that said, Keep Off The Grass. It scattered into pieces.

Unbeknownst to them all, Beckett hi-fived his twin at the back of the vehicle.

It was half an hour before they reached the destination. To Artemis, it looked nothing more than what it was: a Dance Hall. To Holly, it looked like a celebration in itself. To Mulch, he didn't even bother looking. To the twins, it looked the perfect spot to drive Arty nuts.

"Foaly, we've arrived," Artemis informed the centaur through his communicator as they sat down at a table for two in the corner of the dance floor. The place was already starting to crowd up. Holly scanned the guests for their two suspects, who hadn't seemed to have arrived yet. Holly had got her invitation to the human dwelling when a chaperone had mindlessly welcomed them in and offered a seat.

Minutes went by in silence, and both of them merely watched as the visitors poured in. Eventually Holly gave up, bored, She started tapping the table with two fingers. The Human frowned. "Kindly stop that," he snapped. "We are supposed to start a conversation and act as normal as possible."

"You? Normal? That'd be the day," snickered Mulch, walking up to them from seemingly nowhere. "I got bored stuck in that car. Mind if I sit?"

"It's a table for two," Holly pointed out, slightly amused. Mulch guffawed. "Big deal. I'll just get another chair." He winked. "Unless you want some time with your Arty alone?"

They both shot him furious glares, which the Dwarf simply ignored. He noisily dragged about a chair from the other end of the room and brought it beside Artemis, who groaned in response.

"Did you have to make as much noise?"

"Yeah. Got a problem?"

"You're attracting attention. Which is very unnecessary."

A response from Mulch was stopped when Holly suddenly gasped. The other turned to face where she was looking, and spotted the people they were here for. Two elves, the male exceptionally tall while his female companion wore something that could only be described as indecent.

The couple headed straight for the dance floor. Holly frowned. Without any warning, she grabbed Artemis by the sleeve and forced him up, before dragging him by the arm to the dance floor, in a similar fashion Mulch had dragged the chair over to the table.

The Dwarf could do nothing but grin. Meanwhile, the Fowl twins were peeking out from underneath a table, Myles plotting his revenge and Beckett simply watching in fascination as events unfolded at the dance.

Around two meters away from the suspected couple, Holly came to a halt. She turned around to face Artemis.

"I know you probably can't dance," she whispered. "But try not to mess up the mission. Now, hold my hand," she instructed, holding up her right hand. The Human hesitantly placed his left palm on her right. "Is this absolutely..." "Quiet," hissed Holly. "The other arm around my waist. Now." Artemis frowned. "I..."

Scowling, Holly reached for his arm and forced it where it should be. As embarrassing as this was, it was needed for the mission.

"Have you done this before?" he asked, incredulously. He doubted she knew what she was doing. Holly just slapped his arm in reply. She moved her free hand to his shoulder and placed it there firmly.

"Just get me as close to those two as possible. I suggest you...uh, lower me so I can do it unnoticed."

"Lower you?"

"Shut up and do it."

They danced. It was uncertain, slow, painful and felt ridiculous at the start, but something changed. At least, on Artemis it did. This was...enjoyable. He actually liked it. The human spent as much time as he could, gently caressing every inch of her he touched while at the same time, getting them closer to the target.

Holly felt uneasy with how close they were. There was thankfully some gap between herself and Artemis, but he seemed to mind this. He was making the most of it. Almost forgetting the situation at hand. But that was when he suddenly said, "I'm going to do it."

She barely had the time to ask, "Do what?" before she was quickly jerked away from him, and now in the stance of some professional tango dancer, balancing horizontally, one leg pointed upwards, with the dress thankfully covering her skin.

"Quickly," warned Artemis. It took her a while to find out what he had meant, but then it was clear.

Her head was now at level with the female target's waist. Wasting no time, Holly used her one free hand to hook the device onto her dress while the other hand gripped Artemis tightly. In less than two seconds, they were both back on their feet again.

The Mud Boy grinned. "That was a success."

Holly grinned right back. "Thank you."

They stopped moving, ready to end the dance and leave, but were caught by surprise because of two things.

One, the rest of the guests had started applauding.

Two, the targets were staring at them suspiciously.

They were clueless as to why number one occurred, but a hoot from Mulch was all it took. "Best dancers on the floor!" he shouted triumphantly. He'd managed to successfully get under their skins once more. This time without having to lie.

The human and the elf stared at each other. Holly wore a look that clearly said, "What the hell just happened?" and he wished he had an answer. But another glare from their targets told him that they were acting too obvious now.

"Holly, I apologize for this."

"What?"

"I must end the dance correctly, or we might arouse suspicion."

Holly frowned. "How do you end a..." She never got the chance to finish the sentence, because now, Artemis's mouth was in hers. She was startled, but didn't remain so for long. Taking the opportunity, she threw her arms around his neck and kissed back.

Not because of the stupid dance or the stupider targets. She'd just been promoted to Major.

And she owed him a lot for that.

Beckett and Myles? Their mission had failed, of course. But this moment was still perfect blackmail material.

Myles snapped a photo of his brother lip-locked with the girl.

Maybe next time Artemis would think twice about accusing them of starting a forest fire.

The End.

Hey guys, hope you enjoyed it! And once again, this was for MissfitThunder.

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-Shaadia.