chapter rating: teen/pg-13
word count: 683
prompt: things you didn't say at all
summary: Maya calls it quits on the whole dating triangle 'thing.' Not because she doesn't care, but because she cares a lot.

i'm breaking up (can you hear me now?)

She calls it quits on the whole dating triangle thing. Not because she doesn't care, but because she cares a lot. Maya knows how this ends, she knows who ends up on the white horse with the prince. She reconciled herself with this when she was a kid; she is not the type to get good things. Except maybe something in the shape of hope snuck in one night when she stood in front of a fire with warm hands on her face and her heart in her throat. But this, hoping somehow he can love her more than Riley, it feels like a fool's dream. Because she knows Riley, she loves Riley, she looks at Riley and thinks that the world has to be good in some way, because it created her. So even if, somehow, against all logic, he picked her, she wouldn't want him to, not at the expense of Riles.

So she puts on her brave face, she smiles through the pain, and she tells him, "I'm over it. It was a cowboy shaped phase and I'm moving on. Be with Riley. Be happy. Fall in love with her cotton candy face."

[I can't do this anymore. Because I'm falling in love with you, and one day you're going to realize that I'm not it, I'm not her, and that is going to hurt so much more. So I'm walking away while I still have a chance of not being completely obliterated by this.]

And he stares at her, brow furrowed, and a confused "What?" trailing from his mouth.

She pats his chest. "It's okay, Hop Along. No hearts were broken. Nobody's hurt. I want this. For you and her and myself. You're my friend, and I don't want anything more than that."

[It's not okay, not totally, but it will be. Eventually. When I can look at you and not feel butterflies, not think of fire and war paint and the way your hands felt on my face.]

He's staring at her, and his mouth is opening and closing, but no words come.

She turns on her heel, grins at Riley, and tells her, "He's all yours."

[He was never really mine.]

Riley is all concern and love and support. "Maya… are you sure about this?"

"I'm a hundred percent, okay? It was just… I don't know, hormones and puberty and all that junk. I mean, let's be real… Me and Sundance? It'd never work." She shrugs. "I'm over it."

[I'm not sure. I'm really not. But I need to do this.]

"I… If you're sure." Riley doesn't look completely convinced, but there's also hope lurking around her eyes, like maybe this is it, maybe it's just that easy.

Maya nods. "I am." And then she turns, thumb pointing to the window. "I'm gonna head home so you two can…" She waves between them, "whatever."

[I can't keep standing here, lying. Please, let me go. I need to get out of here.]

Riley blushes, eyes darting to Lucas, who still looks confused and unsure.

But Maya's done. She can't say much more than what she has and she's emotionally exhausted. She climbs out the window and down the stairs and tucks her hands into her pockets as she starts down the sidewalk for home. And she tells herself it's just the wind, that's why her eyes sting, why her throat hurts, why her heart has tumbled down to die a slow death in her stomach acid. She tells herself this is the right thing to do, for him and Riley and herself. She's saving herself from more pain down the road. But it doesn't feel that way right now. It feels a lot like tearing her own heart out and stepping on it repeatedly with a stiletto heel.

Maya tips her head back, lets the wind dry her tears, and tells herself, "It's okay. You're okay." And maybe it's not the whole truth, but she is an Amazon warrior. Did she love him? Maybe. But her world keeps spinning and she will get through this.

[I will be okay.]