A/N: Nothing special, just a little amusing concept I had floating around in my head for a while.

"You like Sayaka."

It was not a question. It didn't even have any doubt wavering in it. It was more like the creepy girl had peered directly into Kyoko's head and was merely commenting on what she saw in her usual deadpan manner.

Kyoko bristled, part of her irritation a natural reaction to the intrusion and part of it an act to cover her unease. "Yeah? So what?"

Homura flipped her hair over her shoulder in that indifferent manner that always annoyed Kyoko. Other than this seemingly habitual gesture, there was no change in her expression. Her eyes kept the same dead look that Kyoko would never admit actually unnerved her.

"You like her as more than a friend."

She could try to deny it, but why should she? What was the creepy bitch going to do about it? "You got a problem with that?" Her eyes narrowed, a sneer starting to form. "You jealous?"

Homura's expression may have been carved from granite for how much it changed. "I am not asking out of impolite curiosity, nor do I wish to cause trouble for you."

"Then why are you asking?"

The dark girl held Kyoko's hostile glare with an even gaze. "I wanted to know how you plan on letting her know. What you will do to gain her affection in return."

Kyoko had had enough. "What the hell is your problem?" she snapped, jumping to her feet and grabbing a fistful of Homura's shirt, other hand already curled into a fist at her side. An instant later, her left hand was as empty as the right, and Homura nowhere to be seen. A nervous tremor shuddered through her body in the couple of seconds before she noticed someone standing behind her. Kyoko whipped around, thoroughly spooked, only to find Homura extending a box of her favorite snack, pocky, towards her.

"Please answer the question," she said in her dead monotone.

"Why do you care?" Kyoko grumbled, two sticks of pocky already in her mouth.

Homura was silent for a long, tense pause. Then, simply, "Madoka."

Kyoko stared at her, utterly bewildered by this change in the direction of their conversation. What the hell did this have to do with—

The realization, when it came on her an instant later, was so unexpected that she burst out laughing, nearly choking on a stick of pocky. She couldn't help it; this was the absolute last thing she had ever expected to find herself talking about with Homura. If someone had reacted this way to finding out that she liked Sayaka she would have fed them their teeth, but Homura weathered the derision with as little emotion as ever.

"I don't believe it," Kyoko gasped, wiping tears out of her eyes. "You're gay for that little saint, and you want me to tell you how to get in her pants?"

That did it. The flicker of irritation that passed over Homura's face was brief and mild, but it was such an extreme change for the stony faced girl that Kyoko stopped laughing immediately, feeling a sudden nervous prickle along her skin and not really sure why.

"Please do not speak of Madoka or my intentions towards her in such a crude way again." The words were polite, neutral, and underlaid with steel.

"Okay, Jesus. Ease off." Kyoko was already kicking herself for allowing herself to be cowed by the other girl. She'd have to find some way to reestablish her reputation for toughness to the raven haired girl…later.

"So," she said slowly, "if ya like Madoka and want her to know it, why don't you just walk up to her and tell her? Or better yet, sweep her off her feet with a kiss?"

"No." Homura's reply was swift and certain. "Telling her would cause her to respond with sympathy and embarrassment, but not return my feelings. Kissing her would only confuse and scare her."

There was such certainty in her words that they left no room for doubt or dissent. Kyoko believed that Homura knew what she was talking about, though she had no clue how Homura had come to these conclusions. "All right, fine. If the direct approach won't work, you're gonna have to slip in under her radar. Start spending more time with her, doing nice things for her, but nothin' outta line for a friend. Over time, you two'll get closer, and you can start being a bit romantic with her. When she starts getting sweet on you, that's when you tell her how you feel."

She absorbed all of this with rapt attention. When Kyoko had finished laying out the plan, she was silent for nearly a minute. Then, "You believe this will work?"

Kyoko shrugged helplessly. "Hell if I know. It's risky. She'll either fall head over heels for ya, or she'll just consider you a really good friend forever."

Homura blinked, the second strongest response Kyoko had ever seen from her. "I see. I will take it under advisement. Is this how you plan to romance Sayaka?"

The redhead let out a sharp bark of laughter. "Hell no, that's for saps! I'm just going to walk up to her, grab her cute ass and kiss her. If I'm still in one piece afterwards, I'll consider it a success."

"And if not?

She grinned, the long canines lending the expression an inherently savage look. "Well, I'm always up for a fight."

Kyoko could swear she saw the corner of Homura's mouth twitch upwards in a wry smile, just for a second. "Let me know how that works for you," she replied indifferently, flipping her hair over her shoulder again and turning to go.

"Hey, wait!" Homura stopped and glanced back. "Why ya askin' me, anyway? What makes you think I'd know anything about relationship advice?"

Homura was silent for a long moment. "Because I believe you will succeed in your pursuit of Sayaka. That makes you the most knowledgeable on these matters.

Kyoko watched her walk away with a mixture of amusement, irritation and a hefty amount of confusion. She wondered what Sayaka would think of Homura going after her best friend. Well, she could find out on her own; Kyoko was perfectly happy to watch the fireworks, but she didn't want to set them off herself, lest she get burned.

It did raise a point of some significance, though. Kyoko had better make her move soon; whatever temper Sayaka was in after she finally found out about Homura and Madoka, it was sure to make approaching her harder.

It was impossible to see more than ten yards through the sheets of pounding rain, so if anyone had bothered to look out of their windows they probably wouldn't have noticed the two small figures dashing through the streets. It was fortunate that at least one of them seemed to know where they were going, and within minutes they reached the only shelter they could find, an old derelict church. That the storm was a warm summer rain was fortunate, as there was no way to heat themselves inside the church, save setting fire to the old heap.

Kyoko pushed her drenched hood back and shook her head violently like a dog, whipping her soaked ponytail around and spraying Sayaka with droplets.

"Hey! Watch it!"

She favored Sayaka with a toothy grin. "You're already soaked to the bone. I could dump a bucket of water on your head and it wouldn't make any difference."

Sayaka's glare and Kyoko's smirk clashed for a few seconds, then they both broke out in laughter.

"Some first date, huh?"

Sayaka shrugged. "It could have been worse. It could have been hail."

They started laughing again, an easy, giddy laughter that comes when a bad situation suddenly seems humorous. Kyoko flopped down on a pew and kicked her sodden shoes and socks off, wiggling her wrinkled toes. Nothing worse than your feet being trapped in wet socks.

"Sorry, I don't have any dry clothes you can change into." A mischievous grin. "You can still get out of those wet clothes, if you want. I'll keep you warm." She had to throw her hands up to block the shoe that Sayaka heaved at her head. "Fine. But if you change your mind, you're going to have to make that up to me first." Kyoko had to roll off of the pew to dodge the second shoe.

She was about to escalate the situation into a much more physical battle when she caught sight of something out of the corner of her eye. There was something heaped near the altar and she was certain it hadn't been there when she had left the church earlier—she was even pretty sure that it hadn't been there when she and Sayaka had returned. Kyoko turned away from Sayaka without a word, good humor replaced by caution, and strode down the aisle to find out what it was.

What she found afforded her a sizeable shock. Stacked neatly on the dais were piles of junk food. Bags of chips, packages of taiyaki, and boxes upon boxes of pocky. Behind the snacks were two neatly folded, fluffy towels, on which rested a folded slip of paper. Kyoko snatched it up and opened it, her bewilderment changing to incredulity an instant later.

The note was simple, even painfully blunt. In a neat, precise hand was written:

Thank you.

-Akemi

P.S. I thought you might be in need of the towels after this storm.

Kyoko threw her head back and let out a sharp peal of laughter. Sayaka, who had followed her to the altar and was just as confused as she had been, snatched the note, her expression changing to a frown.

"What does this mean?"

The redhead was having trouble regaining her breath as new chuckles kept breaking out. When she got control of herself, she tossed one of the towels over Sayaka's head and simply replied, "It means my advice worked."