A/N: I was watching a few of these videos on YouTube ("Couples Secretly Share Both Sides of Their Love Story" etc.) and wondered what it would be like if these two did it. Wasn't really sure how to effectively convert it into a written format, so it might seem a bit clumsy at times, but I hope you like it nonetheless. It was just an idea I was knocking about in my head. Still working on my other stories - I'm now on holiday so I have time to just relax and write, which I'm excited about! Speak soon x

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

Introduce yourselves for the viewers.

"I'm Temari."

"I'm Shikamaru."

"...he's my husband. We've been a couple for a looong time."

"Together for twelve years, married for eight of them."

"It's nine, dumbass."

"No, it's eight. We got married in the winter, remember?"

"It's nine, because we started dating in early spring."

"Would it kill you to admit I'm right, for once?"

"I'd admit it if it were true, which it's not."

"Whatever. Let's just get on with this thing."

"Am I going first? Do I put these on now?"

"Yeah. Turn up the volume until you can't hear me."

[Temari puts on headphones]

"Okay, start talking."

"Konoha is the best village of them all."

"What?"

"Suna sucks. It's so boring and full of sand."

"This is weird. Your mouth is moving and I can't lip-read for shit."

"I liked your black kimono better. The purple is too much, and definitely not as sexy."

"..."

"Yeah, she can't hear me."

How did you meet?

Shikamaru: "We came up against each other in the Chunin Exams, back when I was 12 and she was 15. I didn't want to fight her at all, partly because I'd never fought a Sand ninja, partly because I didn't want to fight a girl...I just wanted to get it over with. But she was being a pain in the ass so I had to make the effort, but she still beat me in the end. To this day she never lets me hear the end of it."

[Headphones exchanged]

Temari: "It was during the Chunin Exams - I ended up battling him, and I thought I was winning for a while, but he outsmarted me in the end. Then he forfeited and showed his true crybaby colours."

[Headphones removed]

Both:

"Chunin Exams."

"Yup."

"She beat me."

"Because you gave up, moron! It's not a real victory and you know it."

"Didn't I tell you that she never lets me hear the end of it?"

What were your first impressions of each other?

Shikamaru: "Honestly? She was kinda scary. She was a bit older, she was from somewhere else, she taunted me relentlessly and bossed me around. I kept thinking to myself, what a drag."

[Headphones exchanged]

Temari: "Shikamaru was...effeminate and cowardly. Didn't really seem like he had a backbone of any kind. I could tell he couldn't give a crap about anything, and it irritated the hell out of me."

[Headphones removed]

Both:

"Don't kill me, but...I basically said you were scary and annoying. Oh, and bossy, of course, but it's also a good thing in many ways."

"I said you were a coward with no conviction. Opposites attract, no?"

"...sounds about right."

Those are some pretty negative first impressions for a couple that's been together for over a decade. What was the turning point?

Shikamaru: "I was on a mission with some friends from Konoha and ended up in a tough spot against one of the Sound Four. I honestly thought I was done for, but out of nowhere, Miss I'm-Better-Than-Everyone-And-I-Know-It swoops in and wipes out the entire forest, enemy included. And I'm just sitting there, scared shitless and kind of in awe, and you know what she does? She smiles. She flashes this ridiculous, cocky grin at me, and I start to think that maybe she's not that bad after all."

[Headphones exchanged]

Temari: "He got all emotional on the way back from this mission I helped him with, blaming himself for what happened, crying rivers over his friends. His dad gave him a bit of a hard time, and I couldn't help but feel bad for him. I'd misjudged him. He might not have cared about some dumb hoop-jumping test, but when it came to his friends and people he respected, he really did care. There was something that meant a lot to him. So I guess I just started to see a different side of him, one I could relate to."

[Headphones removed]

Both:

"That time you saved me from Tayuya."

"I should hope so. You'd have been dead on the forest floor without my help."

"Hey, I think I held out pretty well considering I was 12 and barely a chunin."

"That's the point, Nara. You'd just been promoted. You needed to act like it."

"How did this turn into you nagging me?"

"You wanna know when my impression of you changed?"

"Only if you're not going to coat it in ten layers of sarcasm."

"Shut up, Nara. It was when you cried about not being able to protect your friends, for being a terrible leader."

"Let me guess, your opinion of me went from bad to worse..."

"Stop guessing and let me finish my story, Nara! I hated how you made me feel so powerless back in the Chunin Exams, even though it seemed like you couldn't care less. But that time, after your dad gave you an earful, I realised that there was something more important that you cared about. Something you'd give your life for. And I felt I could finally understand you."

"Really? So after all this time of you making fun of me for crying around you, turns out that's why you fell in love with me in the first place?"

"Idiot. The question wasn't about when I fell in love with you. You were twelve back then, that's borderline paedophilia."

"Well, when did you fall in love with me?"

"Only one question per round, Nara."

It sounds like you knew each other for a while before you got together. How and when did it go from friends to something more?

Shikamaru: "Who ever said we were 'friends'? [laughs] After those few encounters when we were younger, we met again as colleagues when I started helping out the Hokage with Chunin Exam organisation. She was here as an Ambassador from the Sand to coordinate all of it with me. We were a few years older by this point, so she'd softened a little around the edges and I was a little more motivated, but the dynamic hadn't really changed. Looking back, she was definitely flirting with me, but she probably didn't know it and neither did I. Took us another few years of being colleagues in the Shinobi Union to realise we cared about each other more than 'colleagues' reasonably should. She helped me out big time on an important mission and I decided to just man up and ask her out."

Were you confident she'd say yes?

"I was confident she'd answer me in some snide way to protect her pride, but I had a feeling the answer would still be positive. What person goes to such lengths for just a colleague? She even got her brother's permission and asked for some manpower to go and assist me. Her brother, now my brother-in-law, is the Kazekage, mind you."

[Headphones exchanged]

Temari: "We didn't see each other all that often until these monthly Union meetings started happening, and then he got too big for his boots and assigned himself some stupid and dangerous mission in the Land of Silence. Luckily I got there in time to save his ass, and he was so utterly grateful that he asked me on a date before we'd even left the gates. I made him clarify that it was a date just because I like seeing him squirm, but I relented in the end as I felt I'd embarrassed him enough. And the rest...is history."

[Headphones removed]

Both:

"The Land of Silence."

"There was definitely something going on back when we organised the Chunin Exams, though."

"Says who?"

"Says you. Your body language said it all."

"Don't flatter yourself, Nara. You meant as much to me back then as an insult from one of my brothers."

"Ouch."

"Trust me, if I was flirting with you, you'd have known about it at the time."

Where was your first date?

Shikamaru: "This is gonna reflect poorly on me more than anything, but we just went for ramen. After I asked her out the first time, there was a bit of a misunderstanding the next time we saw each other, so I was worried I'd made things weird between us. We ran into each other again just before our friend Naruto's wedding, so to break the ice I just asked if she wanted to grab a bite with me, and I guess that's what counts as our first date?"

[Headphones exchanged]

Temari: "Ramen shop. Very romantic [laughs]."

Shikamaru: "You just said 'ramen shop', didn't you? Really? Nothing else to add? [laughs]"

Temari: "What's the point in saying something else when you can't hear it anyway?"

Shikamaru: "What?"

[Headphones removed]

Both:

"Ramen shop."

"I feel like I'm telling them our entire love story like a movie script and you're just stripping it down to a sentence or something."

"You think our love story is movie-worthy?"

"Well, kind of. It could definitely pass for an Icha-Icha instalment."

"Oh God. I don't want the likes of Lord Sixth reading about our sex life."

"I was talking more about all the drama that happened in the beginning, but yeah, that wouldn't be out of place either."

You mentioned there was drama earlier in your relationship - has there ever been a moment where you thought you might break up?

Shikamaru: "Ah shit…it's difficult to put a finger on it. The first incidence, we'd been dating for about a month, but she had to go back to Suna. There was a big part of me that thought I'd get dumped right there and then, but at the gate we talked for a while and agreed to see how it goes. We saw each other periodically for meetings and all that, but it was hard. I'm sure both of us had our moments of doubt during the months we long-distanced. Thankfully it never came to that."

[Headphones exchanged]

Temari: "God, some days I want to strangle him [laughs], and I'm sure there are plenty of times he wishes I didn't exist either, but I think the difference with us was that our relationship was challenging from the start—if we wanted it to work, we had to work at it, and if we didn't think it would go the distance, we would've broken up a long time ago."

[Headphones removed]

Both:

"Every time you had to go back to Suna."

"Is that what you said?"

"Well, I mentioned the first time, specifically. After we'd started dating."

"Nara, you've got some balls admitting you were gonna break up with me at those gates each time-"

"Tch, you know that was never the case. If anything, I was more afraid that you'd be the one to call it quits."

"What, because you thought I couldn't handle a long-distance relationship?"

"No, woman, because I was worried I wasn't worth it."

[pause]

"Shikamaru; you're the reason I kept coming back."

"You worked for the Shinobi Union anyway…"

"I could've found something else a long time ago. I could've chosen a better paying job that didn't involve a six day round trip every month. I could've stayed in Suna for the rest of my life, but I moved here. You've always been worth it."

[pause]

"I didn't know any of that back then."

"Well, now you do."

"Thanks for not breaking up with me."

"Thanks for giving me a reason to stay."

What do you love most about the other person?

Shikamaru: "…"

Temari: "The fact that you're staring at me and not saying anything is creeping me out. Is it really gonna take you this long to think of one thing you love about me? [laughs]"

Shikamaru: "Stop being so troublesome and let me answer my own question, woman."

Temari: "You'd better not be making sarky comments about me, Nara."

Shikamaru: "Well…to put it bluntly, as she probably would, she makes me better. She's always working hard, always trying to prove herself, never shows any weakness, and it's always been the most incredible motivation to me and helped me get out of some dark places. She makes it all worthwhile. Even cloud-watching isn't the same if she's not nagging me to get up off my ass."

Temari: "Oh, God. You were talking for ages. I'm so screwed."

Shikamaru: "She's also the most selfless person I know. She's given up so much for me, for her brothers, for her village, for my village, for our life together in our village. She hates admitting it, but she's capable of so much love and compassion. She's gonna be the most amazing, badass mother to our kids one day."

Temari: "I don't know what you're saying but I hope it's not all mushy and romantic. You know I'm not good at these things!"

[Headphones exchanged]

Temari: "Honestly, he's so fucking humble about all his achievements, so focused on a common goal that I forget how smart and how caring he is sometimes. Underneath this façade of laziness, he's making it his life's work to protect and support not only everyone he loves but an entire village; he's so selfless. Probably more so than anyone else I can think of."

[Headphones removed]

Both:

"I said that you motivate me. With your strength and determination and all that."

"That's definitely not the whole spiel."

"We're able to watch this back afterwards, you know."

"Still, say it to my face, Nara! [laughs]"

"Fine, fine. I shouldn't inflate your ego any more, but I also said you're the most selfless person I know."

"Would you believe it, I said the same about you [laughs] - caring, humble, smart, I threw all those words in the mix too."

"Wow. I can't wait to hear your answer in full after they've put all the footage together. I'm glad I get to have all of this on the record [laughs]."

"I have a feeling you'll cry. We should bet money on it."

"Oh, I'm definitely gonna cry. But at least it'll be off-camera."

Time for the big one…do you think this will last forever?

Shikamaru: "If only out of convenience [laughs] - it took way too much time, effort and paperwork to get us this far, we can't turn back now!"

Temari: "Oh, no, he's laughing. That can't be a good sign for a question like this. Why are you still laughing?!"

Shikamaru: "Kidding, kidding. In all seriousness, I think so. I can't imagine a life with anyone else, which is funny, because when I was younger my dream was to watch clouds all day and marry the complete opposite of Temari. And apparently, we were the only two who ever doubted our relationship, because people tell us all the time that we seemed like a couple a long time before we started dating. If that's not a good indication of how compatible we are, I don't know what is. All I know is that my life would be much simpler, but much duller, without her in it."

[Headphones exchanged]

Temari: "God, 'forever' is a big word. I don't really like to make grand statements about the future or anything, because it seems a little fatalistic, and I don't believe in any of that crap. I don't think Shikamaru and I were 'meant to be' - I think we defied the odds. That's what made our relationship strong, that's why we don't take each other for granted. So long as we maintain that mindset, I don't think we'll need to worry."

[Headphones exchanged]

Both:

"Yeah. I'd put up with you forever."

"Nara, you do know how to make a girl blush."

"What did you say?"

"I said I don't know about 'forever'—stop pouting, I'm not finished yet—because I can't predict the future and I don't believe in fate and what not, but that you and I don't have anything to worry about because we don't take each other for granted. We've been through enough hardship together to appreciate what we have and not complain or be greedy about it. So yeah, if you really want me to put a blanket statement on it, I think it'll last. I hope it does."

"Well, glad we're in agreement on that."

Any last things you'd like to secretly say to each other?

Shikamaru: "Tem…I think I just love every part of you. Thank you for everything you've done to be with me. Thank you for being with me."

[Headphones exchanged]

Temari: "I love you. I want you to remember that when you find out I threw up on your favourite shirt in the bathroom this morning. Also, you're going to be a dad."

[Crew and set staff gasp]

[Shikamaru looks around]

Shikamaru: "What? What is it?! God, what did you say [laughs nervously]?"