Chapter 4: M

I awoke in a small wooden bed in a coarse nightgown of hand stitching. The smell of fire and wood permeated the room and the clang of metal being struck somewhere nearby, along with the clatter of horse shoes on cobbled stone. This was not London...not my London...this was not my bed nor did it seem to be my reality.

I got up and looked around, to find only a few items. A shift, stay and a blue dress from another century that does not look like it will fit me...no wait. I look down at my body to see a flat stomach and smooth young skin.

What the hell!

Why?

I looked around the spartan room and found a small looking glass.

What the hell was this?

A vivid dream?

I began to try to step into the dress up to my waist but then there was the necessity of an undergarment. This dress felt too bloody tight...and of all things...a stay? The women of whatever time this was had a real hard time of it.

How the hell do I lace this bloody thing up?

I managed to get my arms through the contraption over my head and down to my chest but what now? I manage to grab the long laces from behind my back and pull. However, tying it is extremely difficult. That being said it does pull one in and now the blue dress comes on easier. Perhaps I should have put the stay on first, then the dress over my head. No wonder they had to have help getting dressed.

I swear I will never complain of my bra digging into me ever again, so long as I can have it back. I feel exposed and naked without my normal undergarments, mainly knickers.

I look back to the mirror, sure that it was all a trick of the light. I cannot get over the image of my younger self that's looking back at me from the mirror.

I suppose that in my dream, I'm the age I always think myself. I've found over the years that we never stop thinking of ourselves as we were when we were young. Back when Nigel and I were working towards building a life for ourselves in our twenties.

Age was a gift of wisdom yet a curse to the body. It was as if we melt and the years add on so quickly that when we look in the mirror we think what the hell happened? I still feel 25 and then the aches and pains remind me upon waking that I am in fact old.

I starred into the mirror and looked at my much longer blonde hair. Eternally young in my dreams...always twenty something...immortal in thought and action.

Memories descend on me suddenly, about staying up all night studying or making love to Nigel. Lying in his arms and laughing as the sun came through the window and we had to get ready for class. Once married and a career was achieved that changed...and then there were children. Everything changes with children.

But here there was no pain in dreamland but for the memory of all that I had lost in my past.

A pounding at my door shocked me back into this room that I'm standing in. Well, I can still feel startled and afraid apparently.

The door swung open as a gruff looking man with a beard and period dress stood scowling at me.

"Liv...get yourself out to the bar...we've ships comin' in and that means business!"

Dear god...it had been so long...I can't…even begin to comprehend the sight of him before me, let alone his voice echoing in my memory.

"What are you cryin' for girl? You look like you've seen a ghost."

"I have...father. I...I will be out in a moment."

"You needn't spend time makin' yerself attractive...you're already too beautiful for this place. Besides, I'll not be lettin' you run off with any of these louts!" My father said with a laugh. I rushed to him and threw myself into his arms and just hold him a moment or two. He smelled the way I remembered, like pipe tobacco...I can barely control the tidal wave of tears. So many years had pasted...I missed him even if I stopped thinking about him everyday with the passage of time.

He patted me on my back gently as I tried desperately to stem the tide tears seeing him again caused. His voice...I managed to recall almost perfectly in my dreams. Although, father didn't usually speak in such slang terms. He pushed me to his arm's length and just looked me up and down.

"Now girl...enough of these tears. I told you I would never force you to marry and I'm a man of my word. You can choose whoever you want to marry. Just please don't pick anythin' lower than an officer. And a good an proper officer, not like that wicked James who tried to take you away. Horatio Nelson will do." We both began to laugh at that. His smile was so familiar to me again, as if I was actually with him. I am truly through the looking glass this time.

"I know I'm just a simple tavern owner by the sea but...I think you're smart and beautiful enough to land far above your station."

"Da...I'm not that pretty. Cousin Maggie is so much prettier than I."

"And dumb as a stump!" That had been an ongoing joke between my father and I when I was young. Maggie was tall and willowy where I was short and clumsy.

We laughed as moved out to what was the serving area. The bell rang signalling that a ships coming into port. I have to assume we're in Portsmouth. Somewhere in the late 18th century from the clothing and that my prospective bridegroom was Lord Nelson himself.

That made me wonder, if my father was here...who else was also in this with me. Nigel?

The last thing I could recall from my real life was being in my office with Tanner and Moneypenny talking of pirates and Bond!

"Bond as a pirate!" I said suddenly and my father frowned.

"You know it's bad luck to be talkin' of pirates lass...twill bring the Kingsmen down on us for harbouring fugitives!"

One of the regulars laughed as he held a tankard up for me to take from him as he winked at me.

"Tanner?" I suddenly notice the definition of his face. Just like my father, he became defined more clearly to me and he was done up in the same style clothing. Bill even had a wig on, unless this Bill tanner had hair?

"Yes dear...I can hardly stay away from your loveliness. I've asked you forever to call me Bill darling. As often as I've asked father for your hand; but he continues to refuse the match."

This shocked me to know end. Tanner wanted to marry me!? "Well I could hardly believe that you would want to...Tann...Bill."

"Why would I not? Your a far sight better than any other woman in this entire country."

I guess looking down at myself I'm no longer in my sixties. It would make sense that in my own dream, appearing younger would also extend to the people I met later in life. That being considered it felt strange for Tanner to look at me in that way.

"But we...I mean this work relationship is not usual...I mean for us...to be wed." I added in a muddled and confused way, as another man arrived to sit with Bill.

"I mean how could I possibly...father needs me...I have duties...I don't think..." My loquaciousness was entirely due to Bill Tanner saying such things to me and about me. Not to mention the way he was reguarding me, particularly after my father moved behind the bar.

Years of being M had isolated me from any romantic entanglements at work, considering my age. No one...but Bond would dare flirt with M for fear of what I might do to emasculate or demote them. Besides, I had a husband for most of my career after all and it wasn't like I was looking for anyone...

"Q?" Q was dressed in his normal style tweed jacket and trousers. He seemed out of place here in the 18th century but no one seemed to notice. Only Bill and I seemed to even see Q.

"Yes my sweet girl. May I have a tankard with Mr. Tanner. He and I are soon leaving on an adventure with the Navy."

"Really? Where?"

"On the high seas. To the Spanish main to look for practical uses for my inventions using things I can only procure there. Oopps...I shouldn't reveal my secrets too soon." Q winked at me as I headed for the bar.

Q! There was something….an object...one Bond was tossing in the air! Q's orb! I saw it on the wall behind the bar and suddenly felt dizzy...something was happening and it wasn't going to be good.

Dread filled me as the colours of the less than defined room seemed to meld spin and then shift. The strangeness of this dream and of it; what managed to be clear to me, was constantly shifting. The non-defined background required too much focus to make out well and did not help the dizziness in my head any.

A sudden crash occurred, as a group of military men rushed in the pub!

There was a hazy fight...Father NO!

I was on the far side of the room by the fireplace and down on the floor behind a table. I must have taken refuge here because they don't seem to notice me as they attacked my father and other patrons in the room.

I saw my father struck and killed!

They set light to the tavern and they tossed through the rooms looking for something. One of the attackers grabbed the orb and tucked it into a bag. But why would the Royal Navy need that orb? Why is any of this bloody well happening to me?

Bill managed to pull me up from my hiding place and out as the room filed with smoke. I caught just a short glimpse of a man who I had hoped never to see again in my life.

Tiago Rodriguez...but no...that was Hong Kong...not 18th century England...he just stared at me, smiled and vanished into the smoke and haze. My eyes were stinging and I began to cough.

Wait how did I know...a Spanish...no...he was wearing a blue Royal Naval uniform?

No...he was with me in Hong Kong in real life...my head was still muddled and it was more than infuriating me. I despise not being in any sort of control.

I somehow had memory of father having reported Tiago to the guard for trying to take me away by force and ruin me. But he was an officer they had said and they would do nothing as he was already out to sea.

At the time I had hoped that he never ever came back to England. Tiago had come to take his revenge on me yet again. Haunting this vivid dreamscape like so many other nights...but this was worse.

This was too bloody real! The smoke filled the room and the sounds of yelling shifted to me painfully walking on the moor and seeing Skyfall up in flames.

The next thing I knew I was sitting with Q in a small flat. Reeking of smoke, my voice somewhat husky from crying and coughing so much.

"But it's all just a dream...why does it hurt so much? I smelled the smoke and my hand hurt when I hit the door on the way out? Why?" I screamed to Q, the only one that seemed grounded in my reality, like a liaison in my dream.

My father's broken and beaten body laying on the ground in the burning tavern continued to flash back on me. Grief overwhelmed me again. I didn't even realize that Bill had pulled me away and to this place.

I remember that he made Q stay with me while he went and gathered supplies.

"I know it is dear but I am but an extension of this dream. You my dear M are in the driver's seat."

"What will we do now?"

"You will sail with Bill and I on the HMS Bounty and have an adventure."

"But an unmarried woman on a ship? That would not be allowed. The Bounty? You can't be serious...why a Naval ship?"

"Well it is the Navy that wants my inventions and I suggest that you marry Bill my dear. He is a good man and would never hurt you. I am claiming that you are my niece and you and Tanner are both my assistants in order to bring you along."

"But I...I don't love him." The strange thing was that when I turned to look back at Q he was suddenly dressed differently and no more than 30, as when we first met.

"I know your father always promised that you would only have to marry for love...but oft times women need to marry for necessity. Unless you would rather marry me?" Q said with a smile.

"But what of Nigel?" I asked but Q looked suddenly confused and then turned back into the man I knew, aged like what was present day...if that made any sense at all. I look down at my hands to see if I too had aged but I had not.

That was when I realized that my rings were gone. "My rings! Oh...Nigel! I want to see Nigel again!"

I knew even to my own ears that I sounded desperate. I felt desperate...I felt the grief and longing. The build up of anxiety that weighed me down and surrounded my heart like a vice.

"Nigel?" Q asked confused as I felt the spasm of tears begin to overwhelm me again. Why do I have so little control over my emotions here? Interacting and then seeing my long dead father murdered had ripped my emotions bear. Not to mention being haunted by Tiago continuously since the disaster at Skyfall.

The next thing I saw, through the haze was the open sea and a wooden deck. I turned to my left to see Bill Tanner near to bursting with excitement and pride as he placed his arm around me.

My stomach suddenly sunk...I didn't...did I? Q suggested it but did I actually do it?

Oh dear god...did I married Bill Tanner?

Q stood over M and observed her thrashing about, as she called out her late husband's name. She called out for Bill Tanner and her father also. "Oh my dear." Q said with pity and he cupped the side of her face. "What is happening in those dreams of yours?"

Mallory came back into the room. "I have orders from the PM to take over MI6 officially and a review will be made once you've gotten them out of your dreamscape. Once this has ended and the doctors can clear them all for physical and mental reinstatement, I will leave."

Q frowned as he looked at the man. He understood but he didn't have to be so glib about it. These were more than dreams to the four people who were touched by the orb. Something was not right, it had been too long and he needed to try to create something to counteract the orb's power.

Q would stay the night and continue to observe them, while he worked in his lab. There were nurses and doctors to ensure their physical well being. They could be sedated should the level of anxiety caused by the dreams be too much. However, I asked that they use that as a last resort only.

The foursome were being kept hydrated through IV until they were pulled out of these dreams they were having.

To be continued...