Chapter 1:

Parings:

Buttman, Kyman:

I do not own South Park! I am borrowing the characters! :D I hope you enjoy. Smut when they enter college. It's worth the wait! :P

" I'm going to destroy that little Jew-Rat if it's the last thing I do," Eric said in a menacing way, as he looked over at Butters who was sitting on his bed while Eric paced the room.

" Gosh Eric I think that maybe your plan to get to him might be a little bit too much this time," Butters got up off the bed, and stood in front of Eric.

Eric raised an eyebrow as Butters stood blushing in front of his arms behind his back, and twisting his shoe, " Uh, Butters?"

Everything happened so fast Eric didn't have much of a response time. Butters put his hands on Eric's shoulders, and leaned in and pressed his lips on Erics gently. Eric's eyes widened as he gasped, and Butters stuck his tongue into his mouth. Eric screamed, and shoved Butters away from him with a look of shock and disgust, " Dude! What the fuck?"

Butters regained his balance as he shifted nervously in front of Eric. Butter's hands tapped quickly as his eyes shifted around.

" Oh geez Eric I thought it might be something you'd like," Butters stammered.

" What?" Eric screamed still in shock. His face flushed as he stood there in front of the tiny blonde.

" Eric," Butters stopped shifting, " I'm a little bi-curious."

" For me?" Eric questioned in a loud surprised manner.

" Why yes! I - er- always thought you might need some more huggin times, and maybe a little kissing too!" Butters leaned forward to kiss Eric again. Eric shoved Butters aside.

" Faggot!" Eric paused at the door, " Screw you, Butters, I'm going home."

Eric noted the disappointed look on Butters face as he rushed out of the room. His heart was racing as he reached the stairs, but Butters caught his arm. Eric spun around and met Butters eyes. All he could see was a concern, and love for him. It hit Eric like a tidal wave that Butters was in love with him, and had been for a long time.

" Eric, I - ur - um- Oh boy," Butters gripped Eric's arm tightly, and Eric could feel that Butters was shaking," I love you, Eric."

" Okay faggot, you made your point!" Eric felt nervous. Aside from his little run-in with cupid me he never questioned his sexuality until the moment Butters soft gentle mouth pushed into his five minutes prior. He turned and walked down the stairs, " I gotta go put this plan into motion."

Eric ran out of Butters house slamming the door behind him. Eric didn't stop running until he arrived at Starks pond. He fell to one knee gasping. ' Did Butters just kiss me for real?' Eric thought, ' Did I really like kissing him more than when I did Heidi?' Eric put hands over his mouth, and screamed.

" Cartman!" Kyle screamed from behind him, " I know what you are up to!"

" Not now Khal!" Eric blushed. He needed to be alone to figure this out.

" No way fatass! I know you are trying to find a way to get me back for breaking your buddah box. I only did it because you don't need that! So what are you going to do this time?"

" Khal," Eric looked at Kyle his heart still pounding, and he began to scream, " I am not planning anything! Go away you stupid jew I can't talk right nehow!"

" Everything alright?" Kyle stepped forward putting his temper aside. He cared enough about Cartman as a friend regardless of how hard he and Eric fought.

" No everything is not alright Khal!"

" Kay?"

" Look just leave me alone!"

With that Cartman took off running home, and in the distance, he could hear Kyle yelling ' Dude what the fuck?' after him. Cartman was out of breath but pushed himself to run until he got inside his house. Liane Cartman was sitting on the couch when Cartman entered.

" What's wrong my little poopsie-kins?" Liane asked, noticing how red her son's face was, and how he was out of breath.

" Not now maaaaaaaaaam! Jesus Christ does everyone have to think somethings wrong?" Eric went upstairs, " I'm going to bed."

" But honey it's only four in the afternoon."

" I said I'm going to bed!" Eric screamed and slammed the door.

For the first time since his breakup with Heidi, he felt like he had no interest in devouring the cheesie poofs that sat in a bag beside his computer. Usually, the first thing Eric would do as he got into his room would be to change into something comfortable and sit at his computer eating cheesie poofs while gaming. He had no interest in any of that. Eric threw his jacket on the floor as he began to pace. ' Is Butters gay? Am I gay? No, I can't be gay I liked Heidi. In fact, she was the closest I've come to loving anyone.' Eric took a sharp breath in as Cupid-me flew in front of him and sat on his bed.

" Tee hee! Eric!" Cupid-me blew a kiss at Eric.

" Not now cupid me!" Eric screamed, " I am not talking to you or anyone else right now."

" But Eric I thought you should know how you really feel Tee-Hee."

" How I really feel? How I really feel!" Eric let out a raging scream, " I feel like everyone in this town is either a stupid Jew, a dirty hippie, or a dumb faggot!"

" You know you liked him kissing you Tee-Hee. You're gay!"

" I am not gay cupid me! Shut up!"

" Then why did you like it?"

" I didn't like it would you just shut up!"

" You liked it and you wanna kiss him again don't you? Tee-Hee!"

" Cupid me I'm going to kill you!"

" Eric?" Liane stood at the door, " It's time for to go to therapy. I got an emergency appointment!"

" Not now mom!"

" Eric you are coming with me right now. No more talking to your pretend cupid me!"

" But meeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaam"

" No but's Eric. March right downstairs so we can walk over to that appointment together. Mommy will wait outside for her little poopsie."

" Fine!" Eric yelled as he picked back up his jacket and his hat. He didn't bother to zip it up because he was boiling hot from embarrassment. The walk to the therapist office was uncomfortable as Liane tried to get Eric to speak to her. Eric brushed her off the entire time.

When they arrived at the office Eric was informed that he was getting a new anger management therapist because his regular therapist was off getting training because he was bad at his job. Eric was even angrier now that he knew he had to speak to someone he didn't even know. He was called into the room fifteen minutes later by a blonde haired blue eyed younger male therapist. He had the kind of face that you would want to open up to. Liane waited in the waiting room as Eric left with the new man into the back. As soon as they got into the room Eric chose to sit in the middle of the couch with his arms crossed pouting.

" Hello, Eric! My name is Mr. Tratz," The therapist sat across from Eric and smiled.

" Why don't you go fuck- wait. You're German?" Eric uncrossed his arms, and sat forward intrigued, " Do go on."

" Yes! I am originally from Austria! Braunau am Inn to be exact. Then I moved here when I was very young because my father got a good job offer in Denver. So I've been here since I was 7 years of age."

" Dude you lived where Hitler was born? You are so kewl," Eric immediately felt comfortable with Mr. Tratz, " Don't you just love Hitler? He is so awesome!" Eric gushed.

" Do you like Hitler Eric?"

" Yeah duh, of course, I like Hitler! He was a leader! Got to kill so many dumb jews. My mom taught me all about that war," Eric laughed, " I am going to have all that power someday."

" Why do you want power so much, Eric."

" Because having control to make people do whatever I want would be awesome! Totally awesome."

" Do you think you want to have control because you don't feel like you have control of your life, so you come up with plans on how to get control of everyone?"

" Um, I guess so. But to think of everyone doing whatever I say! It would be so awesome! Everyone would see how great I am. And I'd make that dirty jew Khal suck mah balls."

The therapist wrote a quick note, then set the notepad to the side so that he could pay Eric the full attention he deserved, " And why do you want Kyle to suck your balls?"

" Um, what?"

" Why is it important for you to have Kyle suck on your balls?"

" Duh to prove he's a gaywad!" Eric smirked.

" Have you ever had those thoughts Eric, you know, about other boys your age?"

" What the fuck? No way!" Eric looked embarrassed with wide eyes as he lied, and looked around the room thinking of an exit plan. His heart started to race as panic lept into his throat.

" You are safe here," Mr. Tratz reassured calmly. Eric calmed down slightly and realized he needed to talk this through with someone. Better him then one of the guys who would tell the whole school.

" Butters kissed me today."

" And how did that make you feel?"

" I liked it," Cartman stood up and began to pace, " It was like just so much better than Heidi, and I don't know why!"

" Do you think you like boys more than girls?"

" I never thought about it. I lied about Kyle once pretending he was my boyfriend to break him and Nichole up, but that was just a lie to get what I wanted."

" You talk a lot about Kyle. Is he a good friend of yours?"

" No, I hate him. I do everything to piss him off. All day I come up with ways to make him angry, and like a freak right out cause it's so funny. He's such a stupid Jew. I sneak into his room all the time to take pictures of him for blackmail. I also take little things he doesn't even know they are missing. It's my box of the jew boy's stuff in the back of my closet."

" You think about Kyle a lot, and you even break into his room. I do advise you that what you are doing can get you into a lot of trouble, and I think you should reconsider doing that in the future. I just don't think you hate him. Are you sure you hate him?"

" I don't know," Eric spoke honestly.

" What I want you to do when you get home Eric is to really think about what you are feeling concerning the kiss with Butters, and what you truly feel towards Kyle. Does that sound okay to you?"

" Fine. But it sounds lame."

The rest of the session Eric opened up about how he wished he had a dad, and that he cried himself to sleep at night. He spoke of his mother bringing all these men home that he didn't know, and how sometimes he would push the dresser in front of his door just in case as he did with his Uncle Jesse. Mr. Tratz knew that from this day on he would do whatever he could to help Eric heal so that he could be functional. The first diagnosis he wrote on the paper concerning Eric was Neo-Nazi possibly due to upbringing, possible sociopathic traits, narcissism, anxiety, and dissociative disorder that may have been triggered due to abuse throughout Eric's life. He knew he was going to spend the next few years doing everything in his power to help Eric Cartman become a functional man when he grew up.