March 8, 2015
I remember it like it was yesterday.
The sky was blue, the bluest sky you'd ever see. There wasn't a cloud in sight. The sun shone high up in the sky, its powerful rays warming my face and neck.
I was staring at an area near the sun, but even that indirectly reminded me of what was happening right now.
A burial.
My father's casket sat in front of all of us like some sort of monument or treasure.
There's a dead body in there.
That's my father's dead body in there.
That was all I could think, even as my eyes burned and watered in their sockets from the sun's blazing brightness.
Why?…
Why was the grass so green and healthy as my father was lowered into a hole in the ground?
My mother wept silently, facing away from the casket as dirt was methodically piled onto it.
I felt as though a part of both of us had been buried along with him.
God…
Why did the sun have to shine on a day like this?
Why?
God this hurts...I don't think I can write anymore. I just felt this intensity inside me and this was the only way for me to let it out. It's easy to say that I'll treasure the bad memories before I actually write them down.
It's so painful, God.
And how can I even complain about the day being so bright when I was the only one who didn't shed a single tear?
