March 15, 2015
I can't go a single day without thinking about mom.
Anytime I go quiet, whether I'm wiping a window at work or I'm in the middle of a conversation with a friend, it's because the smiling image of my beautiful mom passes through my mind.
One of my favorite memories of mom is when she was in my room one day and decided to help me pick out what to wear to school.
She had insisted on it, but she didn't need to because I was fine with her doing whatever she wanted. The only problem was a part of me was a little scared of letting her dive into my closet. It was one of the rare occasions that I almost physically stopped my mom from doing something. As she reached for the closet door, I braced myself.
Goodness, diary…Even I have to admit I dressed like a five year old back then (and maybe I still do). I'd never say these things aloud, but I feel like I can at least open up to you…
Anyway, mom went through my closet and I cringed at the sight of my dresses. They all had flowers and ruffles on them. Or polka dots.
Big ones.
These were all dresses that I'd picked out myself (although I dislike shopping because I don't like when my mom spends money on me). I honestly think I still have a few of them now...Why is it only now that I realize how odd it is to be sixteen years old and still wear something that your mom bought you when you were ten?
Anyway, after sifting through my clothes, Mom turned around and looked at me. But she didn't look at me with amusement or pity. She had a little smile on her face and, for some reason, it made me feel so good. So good that my chest aches as I think about it now.
All she said was "you are the sweetest thing, Tohru. You know that?"
And there was a twinkle in her eye as she said it. These little things are why I am keeping this diary. I don't want to forget these little memories. I suppose I am afraid of that.
I'll try to overcome that fear, though. It'll come with time. I'll be keep being strong.
Anyway, mom walked over to me and hugged me. I hugged her back and her body felt so firm and powerful in my arms. My mom's strength felt unbeatable. Her kindness really inspires me.
There are people who think that I'm too kind. I don't believe there is such a thing as being too kind. You can never be too kind. Not when kindness can touch and transform a soul.
It's beautiful.
