April 3, 2015
I am so grateful for my friends and the memories that I have of my mom…and my dad too, of course.
Since I feel safe saying it here, I do feel scared sometimes when I think about my dad. I feel scared of the jealousy and anger that bubble up inside me all these years later. I wish I could come to terms with these feelings somehow. It seems impossible beyond the grave. Maybe it isn't worth it, in that case.
But, as I was saying, I do feel thankful. Especially when I see a boy or girl at school who looks so meek and afraid of the world. I know just from looking at them that they don't have anyone. I mean, they may have their parents or even a friend or two, but in reality they aren't really there for them.
I want so badly to be their friend, but I know that I can't help every soul in the world. I can also tell that I may not be what they need in order to find peace in this world.
Peace comes from within. That's something that I've learned from experience. They're the only ones who can help themselves.
I can only pray for them and hope that they can find the strength.
