Chapter 5 – Men Vs. Women
BPOV
'Mom, Dad, I am so, so sorry I didn't get back to you sooner. Once I got back from the trip, the shower and bed were too tempting to ignore. Also, having actually food in my stomach. That dehydrated food was horrid. I ended up sleeping the whole day away. Things are going great here. The soil is really potent out in the forest. Well, I have to get back to work. Talk to you soon.
Love, Bella.
PS, I've attached some of the pictures I took in the mountains. This place is so beautiful.'
The first email was sent quickly. They didn't need to know what happened with Jacques and his family right now. Raven left me the room, claiming she wanted to wake up her husband, Mikhail. Curling my legs underneath myself, I began to log the information for my experiment. I took the ribbon from my hair, letting it drape over my shoulders.
While I wrote about my work, a strange feeling came over me, making me shudder. My shoulder shook, trying to stay off this feeling. Someone was coming. These new feelings that I've suppressed for years were overpowering. It felt like a pull to cross the room. After what I experienced in Forks, I learned to follow my instincts.
Jacques? I called for him as I reached the doorknob. I tried to open the door, but it didn't budge. What in the world? I pulled against the door harder. The door was locked from the outside.
Jacques, I can't get out.
I know, Bella, it's a safeguard
Jacques, what is going on?
I put the safeguard up. It's just we protect our women here
'Our women?' What is that supposed to mean? Jacques, why are you doing this? Let me out.
The doorknob turned easily from the other side and Jacques stepped into the room. His dark eyes looked down at me, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you upset. It was just a precaution." Anger left me, seeing him stand in front of me. His chest was bare, showing off his defined chest and lean stomach. My fingers reached up to brush over his chiseled body, "You were so badly hurt." My fingers traced over the definition of his muscles, up his chest and shoulder. There were so many stab wounds, with blood pouring from each of them. He was shot right in front of me. It would have taken days, if not weeks to heal properly. Some of the stab wounds were infected, but now, there was nothing. Nothing but his perfect lightly tanned skin tight over his defined, rippling muscles.
Jacques stopped my hand, pulling it to his lips, "Thanks to you, I've been reunited with my family. I will always be in your debt." Something set my skin on fire from his touch. Looking into his eyes, I could have stayed right here. Passion, this was an emotion I've never felt. The desire came from Jacques himself. He kissed the palm of my hand, "Please don't experiment on yourself again, Bella." His lips skimmed along the healed cut. The words poured out like warm honey.
There was a double tenor in his voice, making want to listen to him, "Alright." Jacques raised his hand to hold my face, "Are you still angry with me? I only wanted to keep you safe." His black eyes held mine, almost hypnotizing, "No, I'm not. I was just nervous from being locked in. I didn't realize you were that concerned."
He leaned closer to me, I was. I am sorry I left you alone for so long.
It's fine. You needed to rest and I was asleep for most of the time. He exhaled, blowing his breath against my skin, "But now, we're together." His arms curved my waist and pulled me closer. The heat of his chest was making me melt. I should step away from him, but everything within me wanted to be closer; to be against his body. I haven't had thoughts like this since I was with Edward.
Jacques brushed his face against mine, "I couldn't stop thinking about you." I blushed, "I dreamt about you." My teeth gritted, why did I say that? He smiled, Good. His mouth was on mine, holding me against his frame. My arms curved around his neck, pulling myself tighter into his hold. Jacques's arms held me even tighter, You are so beautiful. My knees wanted to collapse, but his strong arms held me close. His lips parted mine, exhaling his hot breath in my mouth. I moaned against his lips, feeling arms tighten around me.
Ending the kiss was more difficult that I thought. His mouth was so soft, yet dominating, making it hard to pull away. My lips wanted to be against Jacques's the moment they parted from his. I cleared my throat, afraid of what my voice would sound like, "Thank you and I'm glad that I could help." My foot took one step away, pulling away from the heavy muscles of Jacques's chest. His hands tightened around me, pulling me back into his embrace, Where are you going?
His arms were tight, molding me to his form. Anger was in his eyes again, making me nervous, "Umm, I just want to finish my work." His dark eyes softened and his arms loosened from around me. His hands fell away, "Oh, I thought you were leaving." That was strange for him to think that, but it didn't seem like the truth. I laughed in shaky voice, "Jacques, it must be too dark outside for me to go back to the inn. Even in the day, I would need help to get back there. I don't know where I am." I don't know where I am? Oh no, how was I going to get back?
Jacques's eyes softened and his fingers brushed my cheek, "We can talk about this tomorrow. For now, you're welcomed in our home." Taking my hand, Jacques walked across the room, then he disappeared into his closet, while I sat on the couch. A few moments later, he came out were a light gray sweater, which clung to his pectorals and rippling arms. He was a sight with his shirt off and with one on, whoa.
Shaking my head, I went back to my work. I could almost feel Jacques's eyes on me as I tried to focus. "Is that all you do?" He leaned over the back to the couch, brushing his face in my hair. I had to clear my throat again, "I just wanted to get my information down before I forgot it." He smiled a wicked smile, pulling his fingers through my hair, "Admiral trait, but work, work, work makes Bella….." "A student at one of the best schools in California," I finished his sentence, our faces inches from each other.
"Which is?" My shoulder rolled from our closeness, "Berkley." He leaned away from me, removing the tension, "I've heard of it. Great school." My breath blew out slowly. The strong feelings I was having towards Jacques were intense. He was a perfect stranger, but I didn't want to leave him. Moving around the couch, Jacques took the laptop from my lap and clasped my hands, "Your work is done for now. Would you like a tour?" I should be saying 'no,' but he would just persuade me to say 'yes.'
I win. Come with me. Jacques towed me from the room. I looked down to our intertwined fingers as we walked out to the hall. A charge ran through me like I've felt before, but this time it was stronger. There was a slight chill to the air as we walked upstairs. Was his bedroom in the basement? We walked up a long flight of stairs to get to the next floor. The interior of his home was gorgeous. The furnishings were beautiful, from leather couches to fascinating paintings. There were antiques everywhere. Some pieces were older than my parents, possibly my grandparents.
Jacques showed me his family's art gallery. The rounded room was filled with framed portraits. Some paintings were sitting on the floor. The walls were covered, not leaving room to hang more. In one old fashioned painting, four men stood around two women. I recognized Jacques, but I didn't know the other men. This must be Jacques' family. Their clothes were very old fashioned, something from King Arthur's time. There was another portrait of Raven with a man. His arms were around her waist, keeping her chest against his. He looked just like Jacques. "That is my older brother, Mikhail. You'll meet him soon." He looked at the portrait of him, Mikhail and the other two men standing around two women. "That is my eldest brother, Draven, my sister Noelle and my parents Vladimir and Sarantha. They are no longer with us."
Jacques guided me out of the room. This castle must have been enormous. There were high arches and flying buttresses. Several knights' armors lined one of the halls and ancient mirrors hung everywhere. This place was an antique collector's dream. The room that caught my attention was the kitchen. My eyes widened at all the stainless steel appliances. They all caught the light, making the room brighter. There wasn't as much as a fingerprint on the surfaces. There were granite top counters and porcelain dishes in the glass cabinets. Jacques waited for me to finish admiring the room. Not wanting to touch anything, my hands drifted over the countertops, "This is the kitchen of my dreams." There was a walk-in freezer, large enough to freeze a cow.
Looking around the room, everything was too clean from cooking meals for several men. I've cooked for a wolf pack and the kitchen was a wreck when I was done. This room would need hours of cleaning to keep it this way. How often does anyone cook?
Not very. We live on a special diet.
Oh.
Special diet, never heard that one before. My hand rested on my neck. The touch was too hard, making me wince from dull pain. Another memory came to mind from the tower. Jacques, battered and bruised, telling me that he needed blood. I offered Jacques my blood for him to feed on. My heart squeezed in my chest. In my haze, Jacques held his bleeding wrist to my mouth, making me drink his blood. Every memory of finding Jacques to this moment came back, filling my mind with things that were impossible. We drank each other's blood. The freezing cold and he asked me to enter his home of my free will. Why would he ask me that? Why was that necessary?
Hands held my shoulders, "Is something wrong?" I jerked out of his touch, to stare back at him. My eyes looked at him in the bright light. He was too beautiful, just like…. "You are a vampire. You fed on my blood, then," I swallowed hard, my fingers lightly touching my throat, "made me drink yours. Why would you do that?" All the nonsense of vampire legends flooded my mind. They made humans drink their blood so the vampire would always know where they were. This couldn't be true, but it was all staring me in the face. The vampires I knew didn't have blood and if they bit me, I would be like them. Then what was Jacques?
Jacques's dark eyes watched me, Bella, please try to understand. No, I couldn't do this again. I had to leave before it was too late. Jacques stood in front of me, "You are not leaving. I fed you my blood because your body needed it. You would have died because I took too much from you. I am sorry for that." My teeth began to chatter from fear, "So, why didn't you let me die?" What did he plan to do with me? His eyes stared in shock, "Because I couldn't let you. You're far too important to me to let anything happen to you. My only intention is to care for you." My eyes closed, blocking out his face, "Too important to you? We just met, how can you want to care for me? I'm a complete stranger and so are you." Nothing was making sense anymore. I had to go. Bella, strangers don't have a bond as we do. Despite my fear, I couldn't look away from him, "All of this because I helped you?"
His too big hands held my face, but I pushed them away. Jacques held my wrists, gathering them into one of his. His other hand held my face again, "Not just that. Remember I told you that I was a Carpathian man?" He allowed me to nod. "As a Carpathian, I am blessed with longevity, enhanced senses, among many other gifts. In my lifetime of more than a thousand years, I have studied a great many things and fought in many battles. But in all those years, I was waiting." His thumb rubbed my cheek, "Waiting for a woman to save me from the damned existence of being a true vampire. She would be the light to my darkness, my lifemate. She would save my soul from being ripped apart."
A thousand years? He's older than Carlisle. Like the moth of the flame; I had to ask, "How would you know if you found her?" His thumb brushed under my lower lip, "After the first two hundred years of my life, I lost my ability to see in color and all my emotions. I remember what they felt like, but I couldn't feel them. All I've felt was pain and loyalty. In the past few years, I caught glimpses of emotions from my brother, as he found Raven. Then, your mind touched mine. When I saw your brown eyes, every range of emotion rushed through me. It took me awhile to realize I saw in color again."
The way he described finding his lifemate, was similar to a werewolf's imprinting. Once he found her, he would know she was the one for him. He was drawn to me, creating an unbreakable tie. My eyes closed, as my fears were confirmed. I wouldn't be able to get away. A compulsion came over me; making my eyes open to stare back into his, Bella, please don't close your eyes. "You think I'm your lifemate? I can't be." His face leaned closer to mine, "I know you are. I appreciate my world so much more since you found me." I wanted to close my eyes again, but something in my mind wouldn't let me. Cut that out, I yelled back.
Jacques shook his head, undisturbed, "I'm sorry, but your eyes are too lovely to be closed." His hands drifted down to my waist, pulling me into his chest, his fingers splayed along my waist and back. My mind told me to hold his shoulders, bringing myself closer to him and I did. "Bella, we belong together and I won't let you go." My eyebrows pulled together, "What do you mean 'let me?' Jacques, you're not the boss of me." His teeth snapped together with an audible snap. His dark eyes smoldered as he stared.
He only smiled again, Some much like Raven. I see the appeal. My eyes narrowed, And what is that supposed to mean? His mouth was on mine, possessing my lips, You'll see in time. Just don't leave me, Bella. I need you. His kiss melted into me, making my skin hot. No, another man couldn't do this to me. I couldn't fall hard and fast again. Jacques's lips moved to my neck, tightening his arms around me. Hell, I couldn't do this. Strong lips captured mine again. The kiss erased every shred of doubt I had. What was I saying?
My fingers were tangled in the mane of his hair. Lust rushed through my veins, wanting Jacques. His hands drifted down to hold my legs, lifting them to wrap around his waist. A whimper escaped, Please, Jacques. I cannot do this. I don't know you.
Then we will spend our time knowing each other. If you would merge your mind with mine, you will know all my secrets.
Merge my mind? What is that supposed to mean? I exhaled under the kiss, Jacques, this is too fast. I'm glad I was able to help you, but I can't be with you like this.
He leaned away from me, to look into my eyes, Bella, as a Carpathian, I must do all I can to secure your safety and happiness. Whatever relationship you want, I will adhere to it, but for now, we must remain in my family's home. Those who tortured me may have others and they must be stopped first.
I blinked once, I'll stay for now. But I have to go soon.
His black eyes looked into mine and I didn't sway from my argument. I came to these mountains for a reason and he wasn't part of it. Jacques nodded once, As long as you and I are together, we can do whatever you want.
He breathed lightly against my skin, "Will you stay?" I nodded, "I said I would, but I don't have any more clothes." His eyelashes drifted along my cheek, "Tomorrow, I'll take you down the mountain." Biting down on my lip, I have the feeling I was getting in way over my head. Being this close to him, I wanted Jacques and I stay be together, physically, but I had to forget those feelings. I could tell that Jacques was dangerous. He let me back on my feet, Would you like to continue your tour? I wasn't up for seeing the rest of his house, but I didn't want to be alone with him in his bedroom.His hand curved to the side of my face, I promise I will take care of you, just trust me.
Taking my hand, Jacques showed me the rest of the castle, ending with his and Mikhail's study. There was a wall of books behind in the large wooden desk. On the right side, there is a wide fireplace with a blazing inferno. Across the room, there was a flat screen television mounted on the wall, above shelves of movies. Leather couches faced the television, a lounge chaise sat by the fireplace and an armchair stood next to the desk. Raven was reading by the roaring fire and the man who had to be Mikhail sat by an old computer on the desk. He was in front of the huge monitor with an old processor. Raven was right; they didn't get updates as quickly out here. The computer was at least five years old and I could only imagine how slow it is.
Raven didn't look up from her book as we entered the room, "Bella, could you please explain to my husband that he is in desperate need of a new computer?" Mikhail scoffed, not looking away from his work, "Raven, love, I said this was good for now." I looked over the machine in front of him, Oh no, it's not. That thing belongs in a museum.
The modem cracked and wheezed trying to maintain its connection. Dial-up? They still make those. Mikhail's tilted away from the screen to glower at me, "Hello Bella. Nice to see you out and about. But, for curiosity's sake, what would you recommend?" Patting Jacques's arm, I wanted to go back to his room to get my laptop. His hand raised mine to his lips, "I'll get it for you." He was gone and back with my laptop in hand, resting it in front of Mikhail, "I think she was thinking of something like this." How fast was he? Mikhail folded his arms, looking over the device, "This isn't large enough to hold my information." Raven's scoff echoed in my mind, Help the man.
Sitting next to Mikhail, I showed him the advantages of a new computer. He was fascinated with the wireless router and how fast everything worked. He tinkered with it himself, marveling at the new technology that the world had to offer. "All right, I'm convinced. I'll order new computers." Raven closed her eyes and clasped her hands together, Thank you. Help me drag these men out of the dark ages. Mikhail and Jacques glared at her, not pleased with what she said. I elbowed Jacques as I strode past him, "Leave her alone. She's right." Raven laughed, Thank God, you're here now. I needed another woman.
As a friend? I offered.
She smiled brightly at the idea of having a friend. Yes! Oh yes! Someone I can talk to.
Mikhail tapped his fingernails on the wooden desktop, "And what am I here for, little one?" Raven and I looked at each other for a long moment, neither one of us wanting to answer his question. She nodded, allowing me to answer for her. "Not to say she doesn't enjoy being with you, but she needs to talk to another woman about her problems. Women don't always talk to the men in their lives. Sometimes, we want female input." Raven nodded her head, "Exactly." Raven was smiling at me and I returned one. I barely knew her and yet, I feel comfortable communicating with her on a mental path.
Jacques pulled me into his side, lowering us on to the armchair. My body stiffened, being this close to his. He held me against his side, with his hand gently moving up and down my back, "That's not how we are. It's our duty to make our women happy. We're supposed to be everything to her." I looked at Raven again, Is he serious?
She pursed her lips, You have no idea. I laughed unevenly, focusing back on Jacques, "But that's not how we are," and I gestured to Raven. Raven and I were so much alike. I think I'm really going to like her. But that wasn't enough for me to stay here longer than necessary. "Honestly, it's a female thing." Jacques and Mikhail looked at each other. Jacques, she's your woman. Explain it to her.
There's nothing to explain, I said annoyed. More annoyed with being referred to as 'your woman.' If anything, you two should be happy that Raven and I get along. I owed her a lot to Raven for hearing me in the tower. I fear what would have happened if she and the others didn't find us as quickly as they did.
Thank you and you're welcome, Raven added. Raven turned attention back to the argument, "You boys just want us fawning over you." I laughed out loud, "It does seem that way." Mikhail rose from his seat, to sit on the edge of his desk, "It is up to us to ensure your happiness. Is that so wrong?" Raven shook her head, pulling her legs beneath her body, "Of course not. No one is saying that's a bad thing, but why is it such a mystery to you as to why Bella and I would want to spend time with each other, away from you and Jacques?"
The brothers looked at each other again, speaking with their minds. Jacques asked the question out loud, "What do you mean 'away from us?'" Raven bit down hard on her lip, making it disappear under her teeth, Do you see what I've been dealing with?
Aiding Raven, I asked, "Well, Mikhail do you always want to be around Raven?" He nodded his head solemnly, "Of course I do. I love her very much." Raven looked at him, her eyes widening, "I love you too, Mikhail." This debate didn't seem to be going anywhere. Jacques and Mikhail didn't understand mine and Raven's argument. Allow me to explain, I offered.
"Isn't there a time when you just want to be with your brother or Gregori?" Mikhail nodded to my answer, "Ok, so, wouldn't it be expected that Raven may want to be with someone of her own gender too?" Recognition glinted in Mikhail's eyes. He crossed the room, to pull Raven off the floor, "Is that what you want?"
I looked away from their intimate embrace. Jacques tucked my head into his neck, I hope you understand why I won't be able to do that for some time. A kiss was pressed into my temple, I just found you. My head tilted back to look at him, But what about what I want? I may want 'girl time.' This wasn't healthy; I was falling for this guy.
'Girl time,' Raven lamented, I've never really had that.
My head turned sharply toward her, Are you serious?
Remember, the emotions of others cause me pain. My headaches were so bad, I had to distance myself from people. I spent most of my time alone before I met Mikhail.
Mikhail looked between us, "You two are plotting, aren't you?" Neither of us looked at him, only ignored his question. Well, we definitely need to have a movie night. I have a few on my laptop. I could feel her smile in my mind, I would love that. Jacques pulled my face to look at him, "Bella, what are you and Raven talking about?" Without realizing it, I had blocked Jacques from my thoughts. My lips pushed together for a moment, "If you must know, Raven and I are planning our girls' night." Jacques shook his head, "What is with you woman and not listening?" My mouth fell open from his unbelievable question.
Do you want me to take this one? I nodded slowly to her, Please do. Raven spoke up, "The same could be said of you men. Look how many times I've told Mikhail he didn't have to lock down the castle when I'm alone. Does he ever listen?" Her frustration was all too familiar. To have someone you love not believe you were capable of caring for yourself. I rolled my eyes, "Don't you know, Raven," I asked in a sarcastic tone, "Your protection is the most important thing. No matter what you say and what you can handle, you must be kept safe. Not because you cannot handle things, but because you are so fragile in comparison to him."
Jacques breathed out a long sigh, "See, Raven, Bella gets it." My body leaned away from his, my eyes shocked, "And you don't get sarcasm very well." Jacques watched me, "But, what you said is very true. Yours and Raven's protection is most important." I moved out of his hold, "Oh, come on. Not another one." My arms folded as three pairs of eyes fell on me. Bella, what are you talking about? Jacques's voice was hard and commanding. Well, maybe he should know something about me. "I've been in a relationship with someone else before I met you."
His eyes hardened from that. His teeth clamped shut as his eyes bored into mine. Be careful, Bella, they tend to be very jealous. My eyes didn't look away from Jacques, hoping he wouldn't be too mad. I've only seen a glimpse of his anger. "But, that was over five years ago. I haven't seen Edward in years; not so much as an email," I said it all quickly, hoping to calm him.
Jacques sighed and looked at me, "And where is this Edward?" His hair fell, covering the shoulders of his sweater. My teeth sank into my lips, "I don't know. The last I heard was that he and his family moved to Los Angeles." I had theories over the years on where the Cullens could be, but it didn't matter anymore. "Jacques, people have a past. If there's anything I learned from Edward was that I could love someone that much and I should want more for my life." Silver glinted in his black eyes for a moment, "You love him?"
My fingers went through my hair, "I did, but that was a long time ago. I was a teenager." Are you sure you don't love him anymore?
My eyes looked down, feeling compelled to answer him with the truth, Part of me still cares, but that's only because I wouldn't want him to be hurt or anything.
Well, that's your kind heart. It's part of who you are.
Yea, and it wasn't enough.
Jacques watched at me, trying to decipher what I meant. I wasn't enough for him. He said he didn't want me anymore.
"Bella, for the rest of your life, you are not allowed to believe that." How could I not? It was what he said. He pulled me into his embrace, holding his eyes with mine, "And I can assure you, he is wrong. You are more than enough. He wasn't enough for you." His embrace filled me with affection and acceptance. Please, don't let his words hurt you. He was the foolish one. His lost is truly my gain. It would be pointless to argue the matter further, It doesn't matter anymore. I can almost guarantee, I will never hear from Edward again.
