Chapter 14 – Conversion

BPOV

Shock was a new emotion I saw on his face. Jacques froze for a moment, his mind trying to comprehend what I just said. Testing my abilities, I look into his mind to know what he was thinking. I found that I could be like a shadow in Jacques's mind and he wouldn't know I was there. Part of him hoped that I would want this, but another part didn't want me to change. He didn't want me to be in pain. Jacques stared at me in a daze, "What did you say?" I shook my head a bit, "How do I become a Carpathian woman? I want to know." If this was the life I was meant to have, I wanted to live it. I couldn't deny that I have fallen in love with Jacques and now, I wanted to be like him and to completely live in his world. It was only fair.

Jacques reached his arm behind himself and placed his book on the nightstand, "We don't have to discuss this." I shook my head, not wanting to let this go, "Jacques, if I'm going to stay here and be your spouse, lifemate, wife or whatever, I need to know these things. I want to know everything about what is being set in front of me." His large hand cupped my chin, "You don't have to change for me. I want you just the way you are." My hand curved around his, "But what about what I want?" His black eyes stared into mine as he tried to deny giving into what I wanted. He's said that as a Carpathian, it was his duty to give his lifemate whatever she wanted, as long as it made her happy. It was bad of me to use this advantage, but it was all I had.

"My love, to complete the change, you would have to take my blood one more time. You've taken my blood twice. Once more and the conversion will be complete." Three blood exchanges; it seemed simple enough. "It is not so," he continued. Jacques held me against his chest and brushed his chin through my hair, "The conversion will not be easy on you. Your organs will need to change, while pushing human toxins out of your body. The change is jarring and that is not something I want you to endure." You have got to be kidding me? He sounds just like Edward. I huffed a laugh, "Is that it? Because you don't want me to endure pain." I pulled away so that he will see how sincere I was about this. I took his hand into mine and smiled, "Dealing pain isn't anything new to me. I would think there would be some pain. When James bit me, the venom felt like my arm was on fire as it coursed through my veins. I was prepared to deal with that, so I can handle this."

Moving quickly, his lips were on mine. What of me? Do you think I can sit by and see you in pain?

My lips parted his for a moment, I'm sorry. But Jacques, I want to be part of your world.

You are my whole world. Breaking the kiss, I looked into his eyes, "We've exchanged blood twice and my senses are already heightened. I haven't eaten a bite of food in days. I am literally walking right in the middle of two worlds and I don't want to anymore. Please, can you make me a Carpathian?" I used the word 'please' knowing he would not be able to resist. Jacques's brow pulled together; a conflict warring in his mind. To leave me human or give into my request? He thought about the two of us running through the night together. When Jacques didn't feel emotion and shared emotion with his brother and felt his happiness in being with Raven, Jacques thought of jealousy. He wanted that for himself; to have his lifemate exploring his world with him.

My hands held the sides of his face, "Could you answer me these questions?" "Of course." I blinked, keeping my eyes closed for a moment, then I looked at him, "Do you love me?" Jacques gently brushed my hair back, "With all my heart and soul." "Will you ever leave me?" "I could never conceive the thought of doing so." I hesitated for a moment, "I will only go through this change if you swear to me that you will be my guide in this life. You must show me everything there is to be a Carpathian. If you do not promise to help me, then I will stay the way I am." Jacques watched me, studying my face; looking for a hint of uncertainty. He wasn't going to find it. Jacques didn't need to think of the answer. I licked my lower lip, "Jacques, please let me have your blood?" That was all I needed to say.

He was on me then. This kiss was rough, overwhelming. For Jacques, I made him even happier. Not only was his soul saved, but another Carpathian woman was coming to their people. This is the future they hoped for; another woman to give birth to healthy children. In this moment, I saw every intent Jacques had for our union. Children, a family and the continuation of his race. All those things were secondary. First and foremost, he wanted a lifemate. A woman he would care for, that would be only for him. All other things could fade away and Jacques would still live happily with me. If all others remained and I was gone; he would leave this world to join me in the next life.

My fingers pulled through his hair as I realized that didn't bother me. I wanted to be with him in this life and the next. Our bodies, minds and souls were bound to each other. One would not survive without the other. There was no Jacques without Bella and no Bella without Jacques. Our kiss ended, with us looking into each other's eyes. Jacques raised his wrist to his mouth, ready to bite into his skin. "Stop," I held his hand. He blinked. "Can I have it from where the blood is strongest?" My fingers grazed over his chest, "Your heart." Overwhelming thanks surged through him by my request. From the corner of my eye, I caught a glimpse of his perfectly chiseled torso. Letting me see his fingernail lengthen, he made a quick slack across his chest. My throat tightened seeing the blood begin to flow.

Strong fingers brush my cheek, If you're uncomfortable, I can help you. Inhaling deeply, I leaned closer to his chest, letting the tip of my tongue drift over his skin. Blood was caught on my tongue as I moved closer to the wound. My mind wanted to move away, but I ignored it. Putting my lips on a bleeding wound was disgusting, but I went on. My mouth was completely on the wound, consciously tasting his blood. The taste of it was like hot cooper flooding every taste bud in my mouth. Taking in deep breaths, more blood flowed into me. I took in more of his blood and an instinct began to grow within me. I wanted more, I needed it. My lips pulled at the blood, wanting to take in more of Jacques. To have him within me in a different way.

From inside me, warmth began to grow and it got hotter as I continued to drink. Enough, Bella, Jacques told me, but I didn't listen. I needed more of his blood in my body. A finger pulled my mouth away from the wound. My lips smacked together as I took in the last drops of blood. Jacques took a handful of herbs and pressed them to his wound. "They will aid in the healing." His eyes looked over me, "How do you feel?"

My hand drifted over my stomach, feeling the warmth growing hotter as it coursed through me. "Ok, it's just feels like everything is getting hotter." The heat was moving through me. It wasn't near my heart, but moving around it. My heart was beating as strong as ever. I moved my fingers, looking for anything that was different, "I feel about the same." The heat with growing stronger as it moved through me. Jacques took my hand in his, engulfing mine, "I can feel your pain. It's begun. My blood is changing you, your entire being. Please, my love, I did not want to cause you this pain."

My hand lightly touched his face, "As long as you are with me, I know I can get through this. I love you." His warm lips were on mine, "I love you." The two of us sat in bed together, his arms around me as the pain began to grow. Not wanting to cause him more pain, I kept my face hidden in Jacques's neck while he read aloud from his book. My face contorted as the pain grew and my teeth gritted tightly. My eyes pinched shut and I whimpered as my stomach twisted, taking my lungs and heart with it.

"Bella." Jacques pulled away, seeing my face contorting in pain. Bile began to creep up my throat. "Oh, God," I choked out, "I'm going to be sick!" I ran across the room into the pristine bathroom. I was sick, choking out the vile material that was in my body and Jacques was with me. He didn't need to see any of this, Go away.

He held my hair away from my face, I am not leaving you. My stomach sank in on itself, pushing more bile out of my body. Gasping for air, my body fell limply on the floor. I breathed heavily, trying to get past the pain. It felt like my body was collapsing in on itself. Jacques lifted my burning, limp form and carried me back to the bed. My skin felt like it was on fire. My head rocked back and forth, seeking something to soothe the flames on my body. The balcony doors opened, letting in cold air. It helped, but it still felt like I was on fire. My fingernails raked over my skin, attempting to peel away the discomfort. My nails began to cut into me, making this feel worse. I just wanted the hot blood out of my veins.

Manacles held my wrists, stopping me from cutting myself. "Bella, don't." Jacques leaned closer to me and drifted his tongue over my skin, sealing up the cuts. The burning was eating away at me, unrelenting. There was nothing in my stomach, yet my stomach heaved. Jacques held my hands above my head, keeping me in the path of the cool air. My eyes closed as the burning had consumed my entire body. I was on fire and there was nothing I could do. Sleep, my love. Sleep in peace. When you wake, I will be with you. My eyes closed, feeling the command of sleep come over me. The pain began to dull away as my eyes closed.

JPOV

The night passed into the day with Bella resting beside me. I couldn't continue to let her endure the horrors of the conversion. I tried to hold as much of it back as I could, but she still suffered. The pain clinching at her stomach, as my blood changed her biological makeup. Taking over her mind, Bella fell limply in my arms, quickly asleep. My blood was now her blood. My scent was now on hers, that everyone would know she was my woman.

The change was not near completion as I took her up in my arms. I carried her to our bedchambers. It was the proper place for my lifemate to awaken to her new life; our bed. Bella slept peacefully as her body changed. Her skin was still hot as it was part of the change. My love, I would have given anything to keep you from enduring this pain.

Jacques, are you sure she can endure this? Mikhail held Raven in their bed, the same way I held Bella. He was concerned about the conversion. I looked into my angel's sweet face while she slept, I know she can, Mikhail. We'll make sure she's all right. Have faith that I've created another Carpathian woman.

Bella's breath hitched while she slept. I watched her as she exhaled slowly and rested her hand on my chest, brushing her face into my embrace. She was able to get through this. Bella was much stronger than she appeared. That's how she was able to live in the world as she did, alone, with only her mind to protect herself. She was strong enough to hold on. She would hold on through this. My body began to grow weaker as the sun reached its apex. I allowed myself to sleep with Bella and prayed that she would be happy when she awakes. Before succumbing to sleep, I looked at Bella one more time. The change was taking its effect. Her hair grew longer, her features becoming slightly defined and her lips fullers. She was going to be more than beautiful; she was going to be glorious. Above all, she was mine. Holding her in my arms, I went to sleep hopeful for the next night.

The room was still dark, but it also felt empty. Panic rushed through me, feeling that I was alone. My hand drifted across the bed sheets to find them empty. My body was instantly in a sitting position, as I looked around the room, making the flames roar to life in the fireplace. Bella wasn't in the room. She didn't wake me and it took great skill for her to leave the room without my notice. I was dressed and on the search for her within moments. Bella, where are you? My mind scanned out, searching for her. There was no answer. She wasn't inside the castle. Bella, angel, are you all right? Was the conversion too much for her? Was she in pain? She wasn't in my study or the bedroom upstairs. My heart slammed as I searched for her.

Jacques, my eyes closed in relief hearing her voice. Her voice was angelic in its calm tone, I'm on the roof above the library. It's so beautiful out here. She was standing outside, looking out to the horizon. The wind is almost speaking to me.

My love, don't move, I'm coming.

She laughed out loud, her voice merging with the wind, I know. I can hear you. You're on the stairs, aren't you? I was already running through the library.

Don't be a show-off. The door to the roof was ajar. Wind blew against me as I stepped outside.

There she was, standing at one of the turret points. Her hands rested on the stones as she looked out to the forest. The breeze blew at the white dress that hugged her curves. She wore no shoes as she stood on the cold stones. Her smile lit up the night sky. Bella leaned over the stone, "Jacques, it is amazing out here. The stars almost seem closer." She walked across the roof, gazing out to the horizon. Her movement was graceful as she went pass me.

"Bella?" I reached for her wrist. She turned toward me and silver flashed in her eyes; as they did in mine. The conversion was successful; she was perfect. Her lips were fuller and beckoned to be kissed. Her skin was a shade paler and glowed in the moonlight. My hand touched her face, "My love, how do you feel?" Delicate arms circled my waist, "I'm wonderful. I love it out here. I don't ever want to leave. The trees are so beautiful." Her voice was a siren's call; luring me into her trap and wanting to stay there. Bella pointed out to trees, "Look, they're dancing in the wind. Is it always like this?" She was like a child, seeing the world for the first time. "Yes, angel, it is."

A strand of hair blew across her face. She was smiling the whole time, gazing in wonder at our world, "How are you feeling, really? Do not hide anything from me." She leaned her chest away from me to look at the sky. My body was a counterweight keeping her from falling, "Jacques, I'm fine. It's just so…. so magnificent. Can we see more? The mountain range is breath-taking." My hands held her face, pulling her back to me, Angel, let's take this slow. Her smile grew and her eyes widened as she looked at me. She giggled; "Now you want to take this slow?"

I smiled, realizing how absurd I sound, "Yes. You're new to all this. You need time to adjust." She leaned into me, If you want to take this slow, then we will. At least, I can live up to that promise. My arms held her against me. Looking up to the heavens, I thanked them for her. Bella's head turned slightly, her eyes drifting away to something unseen, "Oh, Raven's awake. I can't wait to show her. She's going to be so excited." Bella broke out of my hold to head for the door. She moved gracefully across the roof. Her dress billowed in the air, making her more reminiscent of an angel. "Bella!" She faltered and caught herself on the wall, "What it is? I thought this is what you wanted?" My eyes grazed down her body. Her hair fell perfectly down to the small of back, just above her waist. Her legs crossed in her stance as she looked at me. The form fitting dress left little to the imagination. Her chest moved smoothly as she breathed. She was the most beautiful woman I ever saw.

Bella rolled her eyes dramatically, "Jacques, maybe later. Raven, Mikhail and Gregori are on their way up here and you don't want them to see us like that." She walked over to me slowly, emphasizing her feminine movements. My body went stiff as she leaned against my chest, "Please stop worrying about me. I feel great." My arms held her body against mine, needing the close proximity. She shivered a bit against me and my arms held her closer. She had much to learn and her lessons began this night. "Of all things, you leave your coat and shoes behind."

Raven was the first through the door, breathing wildly. She smiled seeing Bella, instantly noticing her changes. "Raven, I told you to wait inside," Mikhail appeared behind his lifemate. Raven scoffed, "You and I both know I wasn't staying inside for this. I need to know if she's all right too. I felt her pain as well." Gregori appeared in the doorway, rolling his eyes, Too much leeway. Raven slapped her hand against his arm. Their eyes fell on Bella as she was in my embrace. Gregori was assessing if she would survive this. She stepped away from me, moving to the edge of the roof, looking over the edge. It would seem to be a successful conversion, Jacques. Her body has accepted the changed. Congratulations.

Raven pushed past Mikhail and Gregori's guarding stance, "Bella?" Bella's head fell to the side, smiling, "Don't ask how I'm feeling, or I'll scream. Raven, I'm fine. I was just excited when I woke up. I heard the wind inside and I just wanted to be part of it." "I know exactly how you feel. That's how it was for me my first night." Bella and Raven stood by the turret stone, while the three of us huddled together. Mikhail was taking in the similarities of the two women. Their darker long hair was contrasting with their light skin. In the moonlight, I could see there was a hue of red in Bella's hair. It was opposite to the undertone of blue Raven had in her hair. "Jacques, you did everything right. She's one of us now. Gregori's theory is right. Psychic women can be converted."

I watched as Bella and Raven looked over the wall. The two of them were smiling together as Raven spoke of her first night as a Carpathian woman. "Come on, I'll show you." Raven and Bella turned, their arms locked together. They smiled brightly at each other, walking towards us. The two of them walked past us, engulfed within their own world. "Bella, where are you going?" She tried to hide a smile, turning her face away, "Nowhere, Raven just wants to show me something. We'll be right back." The two of them rushed down the stairs, giggling like schoolgirls.

Gregori folded his arms, "It is good that we have another woman to produce children, but I hope you two can live with them." Mikhail scowled at his second in command, "We can handle it." Gregori felt no emotions, but he held onto his memories of them. Also, being looking through Mikhail's mind, he could better recall emotions. Gregori remembered laughter and sarcasm; his favorites. He laughed flatly, "And when the children are born? Are you prepared to handle that?"

I smiled, shaking my head, "We won't have to. The children will have you to protect them from themselves." The thought of children running through our home was a welcomed one. To hear their laughter was the greatest treasure in the world. Mikhail laughed and Gregori's scowl deepened, "Go find your woman, Jacques. You don't want her wandering off in the woods, like Raven did." Remembering my brother's anger from the night Mikhail discovered that Raven slipped out of their home, I was immediately down the stairs, searching for Bella. Neither of them was inside. In their excitement, Bella and Raven left the safety of our home.